With his blanket held in place with his left hand, he picked up one of the packs of food she’d taken out of the saddlebag.
Jessica followed him to the table. “Are we going to sit here, or by the fire?”
“Which do you prefer? It’s still kind of cold over here,” he said, indicating the table.
“By the fire.” She picked up a can of soda and put it between her arm and her body so she could pick up a second can. “It’s going to take us a while to transfer everything since we can only use one hand.” As she moved to the fire, her blanket drooped, exposing a soft shoulder and a peach strap.
Cal’s gaze was glued to that shoulder, and he held his breath in case it slipped farther. “Uh, maybe you should just sit down and I’ll bring everything over.”
“Okay,” she agreed, and sank to her knees.
He took his blanket and wrapped it around his waist, tying the corners in a knot. Then he grabbed a bag of chips, as well as the sandwiches, and joined Jessica.
“Aren’t you cold without something on your chest?” Jessica asked. Then she frowned and said, “I see your bruise. You’re right about the discoloration. Does it hurt all over?”
“Nah. Here, Mom made roast beef sandwiches.”
When she reached for the sandwich he offered, her blanket slipped again, revealing a tempting amount of décolletage that left his mouth dry.
“Uh, want some potato chips?” he offered, hoping to distract himself before he completely lost his appetite. He intended to seduce her, but not until after lunch. He felt he should talk to her first, explain why they should share that intimacy.
Convince her with words.
Damn, he hoped he could figure out the right ones.
When the sandwiches had been eaten, or at least part of them, because Jessica didn’t appear to be any hungrier than he was, she asked, “What did your mother send for dessert? I hope it’s some of her oatmeal cookies. They’re my favorite.”
“Sounds like a good guess. Mom likes to make you happy.”
“Your parents are so wonderful, Cal,” Jessica said, a smile on her sexy lips.
He didn’t want to talk about his parents. He wasn’t sure they’d approve of what he intended. Not that he would force Jess. Of course not. But anticipating their wedding vows, particularly wedding vows that were a fantasy, probably wouldn’t have their approval.
He got up and went over to the table for the small box labeled Dessert. A quick look over his shoulder showed Jessica staring at the fire, so he took advantage of her inattention to pull the condoms from his back jeans’ pocket.
Then he frowned. How could he hide them in the blanket? Finally, he shoved the package under the edge of the blanket at his back, and returned to the fire.
Once he got down to the floor again, he looked at the box in his hands. Somehow he didn’t think he could continue to pretend an interest in cookies. He decided to give her a choice.
“Baby, I have something for you. I mean, I have something to tell you.”
“Okay,” she said, her gaze wide.
“When I was hurt...” He trailed off, wondering if he was starting the right way.
“I wanted to talk about that, too,” she hurriedly said.
“You’re not going to try to talk me out of being sheriff again, are you?” he asked, distracted.
“No,” she said slowly. “I realize you’re right. Sheriff is who you are. And...and I like you the way you are.”
Like? That wasn’t what he wanted. But he’d known he had some persuading to do.
She continued. “So, what did you have to tell me?”
“You can go first.”
“Uh, maybe we should eat the cookies first.”
He’d forgotten about the box in his hands. “Okay.” He broke the tape with his thumb. “Mom didn’t want us to open these by accident, did she? Must be really special cookies.”
“Yes.” She watched his every move, as if he’d pull a rabbit out of the box.
Lifting the lid, he brushed back some tissue, then stared.
Jessica leaned forward. “What is it?”
He slid the box behind him. “Uh, nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“Just a joke. Mom has a weird sense of humor.”
She leaned closer. “Let me see.”
“No, really, Jess, it’s not—”
She grabbed his arm and tugged.
He wasn’t about to get into a wrestling match with her, particularly not while she was wrapped in a blanket that had trouble staying put when she wasn’t moving.
Surrendering the box, he watched her face. She pulled back the lid and tissue and stared, as he had.
Then she burst out laughing.
“Jess?”
She reached behind her, beneath the edge of the blanket, and pulled out a package of condoms, matching the ones in the box. Her lips trembled as she stared at Cal.
He had no option but to show his own hand. With a grin, he reached behind him and pulled the condoms from his back. “Great minds,” he said.
Jessica stared at the condoms in their hands and in the box. Then she dropped hers, took the blanket edges in her hands, and peeled it from her body. “I think it’s unanimous.”
Chapter Fifteen
C
al’s gaze devoured her beautiful body, clad only in a peach-colored bra and bikini panties. His blanket fell to the wayside, also, as he reached out for her.
“Baby, you are so beautiful,” he whispered, his hands traveling from her slim shoulders to her full breasts, down to her slender waist and settling on her curvaceous hips. He lifted her toward him, eager to feel her against him, flesh to flesh.
Her arms wrapped around his neck as she allowed him to touch her where he wanted. Her lips covered his with an eagerness that filled him with desire.
It didn’t take long before he’d removed the two pieces of clothing she still wore. She encouraged him to rid himself of his briefs, too. Then they lay together beside the fire, body to body, mouth to mouth, soul to soul.
Cal couldn’t stop stroking her flesh. She was so soft, so fragile, so delicate. The gardenia scent he always associated with Jessica filled his nostrils, as if he were lying in a bed of flowers. His lips left hers to caress her neck, then her breasts.
“Oh, Cal.” She sighed, her luscious body moving under him. “Oh, I need—”
“Tell me what you need, baby. I want to make you happy,” he muttered before his lips returned to hers. He wanted to make her so happy she couldn’t live without him.
Because he was sure his happiness depended on Jessica.
Jessica had wondered what all the excitement was about sex, after her one experience with it. Now she understood. Understood so much that she could scarcely think. Deep inside, she craved Cal, to consume her, to love her, forever.
When his lips trailed down her body, she reached for him, again, pulling him closer. “Now, Cal. Now.”
“Okay, let me protect you, baby,” Cal whispered, and reached for the multitude of condoms available. For some reason, he wanted to use the ones he’d brought. It was his responsibility. He wanted to protect Jessica.
He ripped open the packet and prepared himself, then returned to Jessica. He couldn’t believe how much she touched him, emotionally even more than physically. His Jessica. It only seemed right that they be one.
When he entered her, he found her tight. Slowly, moving inch by incredible inch, he filled her, using his hands and mouth to distract her from any pain. Slanting his mouth across hers, he used his tongue to recreate the action his body was pursuing. When hers followed his into his mouth, he sucked it deeper.
As her body adjusted to him, he began to move,
and she followed, encouraging him with small sounds that teased him, excited him. When he felt her tense beneath him, reaching her peak, he, too, let go, spiraling out of control.
JESSICA LAY AGAINST CAL, sated, content. She loved him so much. She never wanted to leave his side.
Through the years she’d imagined how it would be, loving Cal, but nothing could compare to the reality of Cal’s hard, muscular body against hers, his big arms holding her, making her feel safe and excited at the same time.
His lips, those glorious lips, touching her all over.
She wanted more. Greediness filled her and she reached for him again, her hands tracing his sculptured muscles. Her fingers were drawn to his chest as she covered the bruise he’d sustained in that frightening incident.
Her lips followed her hands and she felt Cal respond to her temptation. Her smile widened. “You’re so strong.”
“I’m going to be weak afterward but it’ll be worth it.” He paused, a minute later, to choose another condom, before he recreated the excitement for her again.
Later, as they lay in each other’s arms, unable to move, she drifted in her happiness, not thinking at all.
Until Cal asked the one question she didn’t want to answer.
“Why?”
Jessica pulled away from his warmth and looked
for one of the blankets to wrap around her. She also kept her face turned from his gaze.
“Why what?”
He sat up, magnificent in his nudity, unconscious of the picture he presented. “Why did you want to make love?”
She stood, tucking the blanket over her breasts. It was ridiculous to be this conscious of her body after she’d allowed him so much freedom with it, but suddenly she felt vulnerable.
He hadn’t wanted to marry her. Still didn’t. So she couldn’t confess her love to him without appearing pitiful in his eyes. Forcing what she hoped was a bright, sophisticated smile on her lips, she said, “I wanted to give you a gift. Because I’m grateful you survived.” She risked a quick glance at him then moved over to the table and opened a second can of soda.
“Besides, you’re a sexy man, Cal Baxter. I’m only human.”
And my heart is breaking.
He shrugged his shoulders. “You’re the one with the beauty, baby. You take my breath away.”
But I want your heart!
Trying to hide her dismay, she picked up the other soda. “Want a drink?”
“No, thanks.”
The silence seemed to stretch on forever. Finally he stood, picking up his briefs as he did. He stepped into them with no self-consciousness, while she watched.
“It’s still raining. Maybe we’d better hang our clothes next to the fire so they’ll be dry when we head for home,” he suggested.
He moved to the table and picked up the two
chairs, putting them in front of the fire, their backs facing it. Then he took her blouse and jeans, hanging them off one chair, and his jeans and shirt on the other.
“You want your undies?” he asked, as if he were offering her a newspaper. Then, holding her panties and bra up, he smiled at her. “They’re good-looking. I wouldn’t want you to lose them.”
She snatched them from his hand. “Of course I want them.” He sounded so casual, so matter-of-fact, while she still had trouble breathing. She turned away to the farthest corner of the cabin and tried to put them on while keeping the blanket around her shoulders, her back to Cal.
“It’s not like I haven’t seen you,” he said softly.
She glared at him over her shoulder. “I just... It’s different.”
“Well, come on back to the fire. Even with the blanket, it’s cold in here.”
“Maybe you should use the other blanket. I’m perfectly warm.” She hoped he took her advice. It was difficult not to stare at his muscular physique. The physique she’d just loved with every inch of her.
“Guess I’d better pick up all these condoms. We might have need of them...sometime,” he said, his gaze landing on Jessica before turning away.
Did that mean he intended to make love to her again? Now that they’d passed that boundary, did he think it was a given that as long as they were engaged, they would share their bodies?
Could she stand it, knowing that it was a passing thing with him? That he didn’t want her, just her body? Her teeth sank into her bottom lip.
“Damn!” he suddenly roared. He was staring at the condoms in his hands.
“What’s wrong?”
“Uh, nothing,” he said, putting his hands behind his back and staring at her.
“What? What upset you?”
“I’m not upset. I wonder how long it will rain,” he said, and walked to the window.
She watched him go. Then she looked back at the floor. The two packages of condoms they’d bought were there, but the box from Mabel was on its side, empty. “Where are the condoms from Mabel?”
“Here. I’ll put them in the box. We’ll tell her we didn’t want dessert. It will drive her crazy.”
“May I see them first?” she asked, walking over to him.
“Why? They’re just like the others. There’s no—”
She snatched one from his hand. He seemed to have spoken the truth. She slowly turned the foil packet in the firelight. Then stopped.
It had tiny little holes in it that only showed when the light hit the foil at a certain angle. Jessica supposed the holes were made by a needle being driven through the packet again and again.
“She didn’t!”
Cal hung his head. “She did. I’m ashamed of her, Jess, and I promise I’ll talk to her.”
“Do they all have holes?” she asked, wondering if they were to have played Russian roulette.
“All of them. She wants a grandchild big-time.”
“Did we use any of hers?” Her heart was beating faster at the thought of carrying Cal’s child.
“No. I took both of the ones we used from the package I bought. We’re safe.”
His relief, obvious on his face, depressed her even more. Of course he didn’t want her pregnant. He didn’t want to many her. And she knew he would if she became pregnant. Cal was a stand-up kind of guy.
Cal stared at Jessica, disturbed by her unhappiness. He was glad she wasn’t pregnant because he didn’t want her to feel trapped. He wanted her, with all his heart. But only if she wanted to be with him.
His mother had screwed up. And he was going to let her know about it as soon as they got back. He looked for something to distract Jessica. “Hey, I think I’ll finish my sandwich now. Suddenly I’m hungry. How about you?”
She shrugged her shoulders and turned back to the window. “How much longer do you think the rain will last?”
“I don’t know. I’ll call Dad and let him know we’re safe and we’ll spend the night here. With all this rain, we won’t be able to get back over the creek for ten or twelve hours. It’s not the Hilton, but the cabin will keep us safe.”
He’d put his phone in the saddlebag, which had kept it dry. He made the connection, but there was a lot of static. “Dad?”
“Yeah. That you, boy?”
“Yeah. We’re in the cabin. We’re staying the night.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah, fine. See you tomorrow.”
He put the phone back in the saddlebag. “Well, at least they won’t worry about us.”
But he was worried. Jessica was acting uneasy, uncomfortable. He tried to think of something to make her relax.
“Don’t you want to eat? Mom packed another sandwich for each of us. There’s not a lot of variety, but it’s filling.”
“Maybe later.” She didn’t turn around.
“Baby, did I hurt you? You know I wouldn’t hurt you for anything in the world.” He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, blanket and all.
She shook her head. “No, of course not.”
“Then why won’t you look at me?”
She turned in his arms, her gaze meeting his. “You’re being ridiculous. I think I’ll take that sandwich, after all. I spent all my energy somewhere else.” With a bright smile, she pulled from his arms and walked to the table.
He followed her, and they both took their food to the fireplace. Jessica sat and leaned back against the chair holding her clothes.
“The fire feels good.”
“Yeah.” Great. Dynamite conversation.
“Will your dad call your office to let them know you’re stuck out here?”
“Probably not. We’ll be back at the ranch early in the morning. There’s no reason for anyone to know.” He stared at her. “Why?”
“I just thought...it would probably be best if no one knows we...were here.”
“Are you ashamed about what happened here?”
“No! But I’m not interested in sharing my private life with the rest of Cactus.”
He was. He wanted everyone to know Jessica was his lady. But he could wait. He would wait. It had to be her choice.
THE RAIN STOPPED about dusk. Cal removed the bridles from the horses and turned them out into the old corral. There was enough grass growing there to feed them.
Jessica, left inside alone, discovered their clothes were dry. She dressed, feeling more confident in her clothes. Then she tidied the cabin.
When she gathered the two saddlebags together to place in a nearby corner, she discovered another package Cal hadn’t unpacked. Oatmeal-raisin cookies.
Jessica put them on the table. They would make a good breakfast in the morning. Or the best they could manage until they got back to the ranch.
In the one cupboard, she found a kerosene lamp. She put it on the table to wait for Cal’s return. He could handle that better than her. But at least the lamp would allow them more light than the fireplace gave off.
She returned to the cupboard and discovered something that brought a grin to her lips. An old deck of cards. Cal had taught her how to play poker when she was eight.
Testing her skills against Cal’s, like old times, would be a lot better than sitting around in the dark, wondering if he intended to make love to her again.
The cabin door opened and her moments of peace were gone. Cal had returned.
“Look what I found,” she said, smiling.
He seemed to respond to her relaxed air. “The lamp? You’re excited about that?”
She pulled the deck of cards from behind her back. “Nope. I’m excited about this. Want to challenge me to a game of poker? We’ve got matches.”