One In A Billion (6 page)

I found out during the course of the evening, that the event was a reception for a business charity fundraiser, some private city investment firm or hedge fund, or whatever they called themselves, and the guests, all well respected in their own fields, had nothing whatsoever to do with TV, film or the world of showbiz. No wonder Tom Conti wasn't there.

Apparently we were dressed as playboy bunnies because that was what was requested. It had nothing to do with the type of event. Someone in their corporate department had obviously thought it was a great idea, perfect for a bunch of city traders, and no-one thought otherwise to tell him.

They were alright. I'm not a big fan of city traders in general, but these lot seemed to be quite well behaved. I had my fluffy cotton-tail pulled once or twice, a few risqué comments about my outfit, and someone older than my dad trying to flirt with me, but that was about it.

Sophia drunk more champagne, and when I'd felt like I'd earned myself a glass, I joined her. We both took a long cigarette break half way through the evening, even though I don't smoke, when everyone including Janice was well oiled up on booze, and wouldn't notice we'd gone. Sophia smuggled out a bag of canapes for us to snack on.

'
I've fallen in love', Sophia said.

'
What happened to Tad?' I said, pushing my finger into the part of Sophia's arm which still carried his mark.

'
Tad's more of a pet', Sophia said, batting my hand away. 'He's faithful, but you couldn't really take him out somewhere classy. They'd put him in a little kennel at the back.'

'
So who is it now?' I said, munching on the canapes. They were Thai food inspired, and I made a mental note to snatch a few more as soon as I got back in.

'
Gary', Sophia said.

'
Gary? That doesn't sound very exotic for you.'

'
He's incredible', Sophia said. 'He was in the SAS, and now he's a cage fighter. He's got arms like, this big-', she demonstrated for me, 'And a cock like-'

Her eyes went all dreamy.

'
Sophia, you didn't?'

It wouldn't be the first time.

'
I couldn't help it', Sophia said, smiling. She was such a mischievous girl.

'
How!?' I pried, desperate for the details. I didn't buy gossip mag's, but I loved to read them. Sophia's sexual adventures never failed to enthral me. She was the only person I knew who could happily meet someone at an event like this, take them into the bathroom to fuck them rigid, and not see anything at all wrong with it. I was a little jealous that these things seemed to always happen to her and never to me.

Sophia turned around, pulled down her tights and showed me her cute little ass. 'As easy as that', she said.

'
Didn't anyone see you?' I said when she'd righted herself again.

'
I hope not', Sophia said. 'Janice had her eyes on him too.'

We went back inside and back to work. I guzzled another glass of champagne that Sophia warned me I had to finish off quickly because Janice was on her way, which ended up tickling the back of my nose and making me cough so forcefully my eyes began to well up with tears.

Sophia disappeared again, no doubt with Gary, perhaps with someone else as well, and to pass the time, while I was collecting up empty glasses, and serving more champagne to people who didn't really need it, I decided to rank every one I saw on a scale of one to ten. One being definitely not, even if the survival of the human race depended on it, and I was extremely horny, hadn't had sex for months and there was no other option, and ten was oh my god, take me now, I've been a bad girl and I need you inside me.

Sadly there were many more low numbers than high numbers. I'd made it round about half of the gathered crowd before I got bored, and decided I might as well spent my time more usefully, by appreciating the artwork I never seemed to give myself time to look at during other times I'd visited. While I was lost in a landscape painting of an old English cottage nestled in rolling hills, trying to work out just how the fuck the painter had got the light rendered so well, I heard someone's voice form just behind me.

'
Nice outfit', he said.

I quickly turned around, expecting to come face to face with another low number who had come over to either flirt with me, get some more champagne or tell me to stop daydreaming and get back to work. I nearly dropped my tray when I saw him. Dark hair, muscular build, well-dressed, natural facial hair, smouldering green eyes that looked like marbles made of space rock. When he smiled, and showed me a perfect set of natural teeth, I couldn't help but say it out loud.

'
Ten.'

I instantly put my hand to my mouth, and nearly dropped the tray again. Ten helped me just in time before it fell to the floor, but in doing so I spilt champagne all over his suit.

'
Shit', I said. 'Shit, I'm so sorry.'

'
That's ok', Ten said, while I fussed over him. 'Really it's ok.'

I left it and took a step back. He was holding my tray, and the champagne bottle at this point, and when he noticed, he handed them both back to me.

'
I'm sorry', I said. 'I can be clumsy at times. Do you want me to pour you some more champagne?'

'
No, that's ok', he said, and smiled at me. An awkward moment passed while he continued to stare.

'Is everything ok
?' I said finally, feeling a little self-conscious. I guess that would be perfectly reasonable considering the fact that I was dressed in a tight fitting playboy bunny outfit, complete with fake ears and tail, that was practically cutting off the circulation to my entire lower body.

'
I saw you looking at the art', he said. 'No-one else has paid as much attention to where we are tonight but you. I don't think most of this lot would be able to tell a Picasso from a Pollack. Are you an artist? You know, when you're not being a bunny.'

'
Sort of I guess', I said touching my ears self consciously. 'I'm a writer. Or I'm trying to be a writer at least.'

'
A writer, really?' Ten said. 'I could tell you did something creative. What kind of stuff do you write? Are you published?'

'
Self published', I was quick to say, seemingly unable to big myself up in the way that came naturally to mostly everyone else. 'And romance mostly, sort of human interest, you know, kitchen sink, socio-economic class divide, the grind, you know, the endless grind, that kind of thing.'

I was losing him, and I knew it.

'
Boy meets girl, they fall in love and live happily ever after, that's basically it.' I added, just about rescuing myself.

'
Wow', Ten said. 'I'm impressed. I tried to write a book in my teens once, but it was so hard I had to give up. You should be proud of yourself, it's a hard thing to do, I know from my own experiences. I bet your family are proud.'

'
Yeah, well, not really', I said. 'It's hard when your brother's a successful children's author.'

'
Oh', Ten said, 'well, boyfriend then.'

I smiled and shook my head.

'
Don't tell me a beautiful girl like you is single like me. What a coincidence!'

'
I'm afraid so', I said.

'
Well it isn't all that bad', Ten said. 'I've had my fair share of experience with it. No one to tell you what to do, no one to complain at you for not doing what they thought you should have done in the first place. No one stealing the duvet in the night.'

'
I guess that's true', I said.

'
Of course the other part of it is that you don't have anyone to share your life with. You have to eat alone, go to the cinema alone, go on holiday alone. It's a double sided coin.'

At that moment, while I was lost in Ten's lips and eyes, Sophia breezed past.

'
Cover for me if you see Janice', she said, putting her hand on my arm momentarily.

'
Again?' I said.

'
Five minutes', Sophia said, and she was away again. It made me realise that I had to get back to work.

'
Shit', I said. 'I'll get bollocked if Janice catches me chatting. I've got to get back to work.'

'
Don't worry about it', Ten said.

'
No really, I need the money', I said. 'I can't afford to lose the job.'

'
If Janice comes past, I'll talk to her', Ten said. 'This is my companies event, and I say what I want my bunnies to be doing.'

'
This is your event?' I said.

'
Yeah', he said. 'Sorry, I haven't introduced myself, I'm Devizes Carter.'

'
Alice', I said and took his hand. 'You're named after a village in Wiltshire?'

'
Am I?' Devizes laughed. 'I didn't know that.'

Were we flirting with each other? Devizes, the owner - did he say owner? - of a company and me, a dirt poor writer in a playboy bunny outfit.

'
Sorry about the ridiculous costume, Alice', Devizes said, 'That was a decision that was made by someone else. I'll be having words with him on Monday morning.

'
It's ok', I said. 'I've had to wear worse. One time they dressed us up like sexy nurses for a hospital fundraiser. Actually at least that time the costume fit me I suppose. What does your company do?'

'
We take other people's money, invest it in projects all around the world, make a fortune and give them back some of it', Devizes said coldly. 'Sometimes they don't get anything back at all, but we always make sure we make money in each project we are involved in. It was my father's company, and I took it over when he retired.'

'Right
' I said, still confused to as what that all meant. 'Do you like it?'

'
I love making money', Devizes said, 'but I have other interests too. Art for one, books too. I have a stake in a small publishing company actually, you should send me your book.'

'
Really?' I said.

'
Sure', Devizes said. 'We have a number of romance authors on our books already. They do quite well for us.

'
That would be amazing', I said, not really quite believing what he was saying.

'
Here', Devizes said, and took out his business card. 'Here's my number. Perhaps instead of sending it over to me, we could meet for a drink and you could give it to me in person.'

'
A drink?' I said, stunned.

'
Yeah, a drink', Devizes said. 'I promise you won't have to wear the bunny costume, although you can of course if you want.'

I didn't know what to say. 'Is this a joke', I said finally. 'Did Sophia put you up to this?'

'
Of course it's not a joke, Alice', he said.

I must have had a mistrusting face on, because Devizes grabbed the nearest person, and presented him to me. He looked me up and down like the wolf might have done to little red riding hood before attempting to eat her. He was drunk, red faced and snacking on bread sticks because the rest of the food had run out.

'
Steve, this is Alice',

'
Hello Alice', Steve said, and wobbled a little.

'
Tell Alice who I am.'

'
What?' Steve said, and then turned to me. 'You don't know who he is?'

I shook my head and smiled.

'
She doesn't know who you are', Steve said, looking back at Devizes now. 'This is the richest, most successful, most eligible bachelor in the whole of London, Mr Devizes Carter. But I must warn you', Steve continued, taking hold of my bottle and filling his glass, 'many a woman has tried, but still no-one has succeeded.'

Steve beamed red cheeks at me, and it made me laugh. Devizes looked bashful in his modesty next to him.

'
Thanks Steve', Devizes said and patted him on the back. Steve disappeared into the crowd, champagne bottle in his hand.

'
Will you call me?' Devizes said.

'
Ok', I said innocently, still not quite believing what was happening.

'
Good', Devizes said, and smiled that winning smile of his. 'Here', he said, reaching in to his wallet. 'I think every good worker deserves a tip.'

I stared at the five fifty pound notes he'd left on my tray.

'
Are you serious', I said. 'That's more than I make in a week.'

'
I never mess around', Devizes said. 'You'll learn that about me. When I see something I want, I just have to have it.'

Devizes kissed me on the cheek to say goodbye in a gesture I hadn't realised was coming, and stood for like an idiot, frozen solid in shock. I stayed rooted to the spot for another minute or more, while Devizes disappeared off into the crowd, and I slowly came to terms with what had just happened.