Authors: Susan Behon
“Thanks. Tell him I’m busy.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep.” Josh could sit his sweet ass down and wait for her. Sarah wasn’t jumping for anyone.
Kelly smirked, a shark smelling fresh meat. “I’ll make sure to tell him for you.”
“Fabulous. Do that. Thanks.” Sarah was sure that whatever Kelly had to tell him, would involve cleavage and a ton of flirting. She was almost too pissed off to care about that.
Julie straightened her Suds and Spud’s T-shirt and tucked a stray ebony strand of hair behind her ear. She sniffed and blotted. “Thank you for the second chance, Sarah. I’m ready to get back to it now.”
Second chances seemed to be Sarah’s thing. It was the idea of third chances that she wasn’t so sure about.
* * * *
After wiping down the bar twice, texting her mom, her sister, and checking her e-mail, Sarah decided to make it back to her office where Josh was most likely waiting. The door was ajar since she’d forgotten to call Reed about fixing the casing. She stuck that on her mental to-do list.
Josh was sitting in her chair when Sarah nudged the door the rest of the way open. He was sprawled out like he owned the joint. He’d dressed up in a faded blue denim button-up and black jeans. The shirt brought out the blue in his eyes. The first few buttons were undone to show the tan skin at his throat. He was cleanly shaven and smelling like the poster boy for hot sex. Damn, he’d broken out the big guns.
There was a bouquet of sunflowers wrapped in cellophane resting in the center of the desk. They reminded her of the golden sun tattoo on his arm with her initials. The one she’d traced with her fingertips, and later with her lips.
So what if the flowers were beautiful?
He’d have to work harder than that. She wasn’t going to soften that easily!
Sarah closed the door and leaned against it. She crossed her arms over her chest and went for her best impression of indifference. “Josh. What brings you by?”
He wasn’t as relaxed as he seemed. Josh grabbed the flowers and rounded the desk before the last word was out of her mouth. “I’m sorry, Sarah.” He held the bouquet out to her. She took it automatically. “Will you let me explain?”
“So, explain.” She shifted out of his reach and laid the flowers back on the desk. “By the way, Chris was already here so the cameras have been removed.”
“I know.”
“You do?”
“He called me. I talked to Seth too. They’re still tracin’ the cameras, searchin’ for the receiver.”
“That’s what they tell me. The one in here was hidden in the air vent. Who knows how long it’s been in here?”
“They didn’t find any others?”
“No, they were pretty thorough.” Sarah shivered. “Still creeps me out.”
“Of course it does. Whoever planted the cameras invaded your privacy. They had no right to do that to you. Honey, I want you to come home with me tonight.”
“Whoa! Hold up there, cowboy. Why would I want to do that?”
“Cowboy?” Josh raised his eyebrows at the name.
“Didn’t you have some explaining you wanted to do?” Sarah sidestepped away from him and restacked some folders on her desk. “I don’t have all night. I have a new waitress to train and a bar to run.”
“Damn, baby girl, you’re so sexy when you’re mad.” Josh flashed her a devilish grin and followed her when Sarah backed up.
“Don’t start with the ‘baby girl’ crap. It’s not going to work.”
Much.
“You’ve got five minutes. Out with it.”
Josh stood less than a foot from her, not letting Sarah put any decent amount of space between them. This close, she noticed the faint smudges of fatigue under his eyes.
“All right. Truth is, Sarah, I didn’t leave because of our fight.”
“Oh, really? So, why did you?”
“I had…” His mouth tightened into a thin line. “I had a headache.”
“What kind of headache? You said you only had twinges before. How bad was it?”
Josh shook his head. “I didn’t want you to know about them.”
“Why not? Headaches happen. It’s not like they’re girly or anything.”
He threw in a self-conscious shrug. “That wasn’t why. I didn’t want to stay and have you see me like that.”
“Did you think I would make that big of a fuss?” She wasn’t following. “I’ve witnessed headaches before.”
“Not exactly. Not like this.” Josh rubbed at the back of his neck. “Since the accident, I get these headaches that are kinda like migraines on steroids. They sorta…incapacitate me.” He stared into her eyes, willing her to understand. “I didn’t want to be like that with you there.”
“That’s why you ran out this morning?”
“I usually get a warnin’ before an attack comes on. I’ll see a shimmer across my vision, or I’ll see a bright aura around things. When we were fightin’, I saw a shimmer right before it hit me.”
“Can’t the doctors do anything? Isn’t there some kind of medicine that will help you? Maybe you should try a civilian doctor.”
“No. It’s somethin’ I gotta live with for now, and I’m not gonna be dependent on prescription pills.”
“What do you do for it when it happens?”
“Take some pain reliever and try to get to a dark place. If I have enough warning, I’ll stick an ice bag on my head. The best thing to do is try to sleep it off, so I went back to my place.”
“That’s why you were squinting! I thought you were mad, but the light was hurting your eyes, wasn’t it?”
He gave a slight nod yes and looked away, obviously not wanting to admit to a weakness.
Men.
“Josh, you should have told me what was going on!” She closed the distance between them. “I thought you left because you were angry about our argument. I spent all day being mad at you!”
He rolled a shoulder in resignation. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I had to get home while I could.”
“Why would you drive in that condition? I could have taken care of you!”
“I didn’t want you to feel like you had to.”
“Had to?” She shoved at his chest, and he went back a few steps. “Feeling sorry for you has nothing to do with it either! If you’re hurt, I want to be there for you because I care!” Sarah gathered steam and shoved him again until he was sitting against the desk. She knew that she was only moving him because Josh was allowing it. “How often do you get these headaches?”
There went another nonchalant shrug. “A few times a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less.”
“Honestly?”
“Yes.” Sarah narrowed her eyes at him and waited until he admitted, “Sometimes more usually wins.”
“Don’t you think I would have found out eventually?” If they were going to keep seeing each other, another headache was bound to pop up.
He let out a frustrated breath. “I wasn’t really thinkin’ at all. The last couple of days, I’ve been fine, so I figured that maybe they were gettin’ better.”
If there was more, Sarah wanted to hear it all. “What else don’t I know?” A heartrending thought came to her, and her throat felt like it was closing up. “Oh my God! Are you dying? Is that why you came back to Madison Falls? Will these kill you?”
His eyes widened in surprise. “No, Sarah, nothin’ like that. I’m not dyin’. They put me out of commission for a while, and when it’s over, I’m good as new.”
Josh wasn’t meeting her gaze.
“What else?”
She stood in between the V of his legs and rested her hands on top of his thighs. He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Sometimes, I get nightmares.”
“About the explosion?”
He nodded. “I can’t really remember much about what happened. In my dreams, I get flashes and sometimes I see the bomb and think I can stop it.” He stared at his feet. “Nothing sexy about sleepin’ with a man who wakes up screamin’. It’s hard to woo a woman if she thinks you’re a basket case. I didn’t mean to fall asleep last night. I was gonna leave in case I had another dream.”
“Is that all?” Her fingers involuntarily squeezed into the tight muscles in his quads.
“Isn’t that enough?”
“No, I mean is that all you haven’t told me?”
Josh held his hands over hers and loosened her grip on his thighs. “That’s it.”
Sarah toyed with his fingertips. “All right, then, there are some confessions I need to make too.”
He leaned back in confusion. “You do? What?”
“Sometimes, I snore.”
His lips tipped up in a disarming half-smile. “No, you don’t.”
“Sure, I do. Hey, I wore you out. You were too tired to hear me.”
The half-smile shifted into a full-blown grin. “Oh yeah, what else?”
“I have a bad temper.”
Josh let go of her hands and pulled Sarah’s hips in closer to his body. “I like that about you. What else?”
“I tend to steal the covers at night.”
He nodded as if he were mulling that over. “That’s all right. I get hot when I sleep anyway. You can have ’em. What else?”
“Well, this is sort of a big one. If you don’t like it, it could be a deal breaker.”
The grin vanished and he met her gaze with serious concern. “What? Tell me.”
“It’s just that, you see, I have this habit I haven’t been able to break.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
Sarah had buried it for so long that it felt like a relief to finally say it out loud. “I’ve never been able to stop loving you, Josh Logan.”
The smile started in his eyes, and the radiant joy Sarah saw there spread to the rest of his features. Josh’s lips tipped up in a grin as he listened to her.
“So, if you’re willing to accept me for the way I am, I’m sure as hell willing to accept you for the way you are.”
“One more time.”
“Which part?”
“The ‘I love you’ part. I waited twelve years to hear you say it again.”
“On one condition.”
“Sarah? I swear you’re killin’ me here. What’s the condition?”
“Are you going to keep being an idiot?”
“More than likely, sweetheart. I’m a guy. It’s not on purpose.”
Sarah laughed.
“How about I promise to
try
not to be an idiot?”
“Deal.”
“So?”
“So, I love you.”
“Sarah?”
“Yes?”
“Shove that chair under the doorknob so we can celebrate.”
* * * *
Sarah still loved him. It was more than he’d ever hoped for. He didn’t deserve it, but hell, if everyone asked for what they really deserved, life would suck for a lot of people.
“Keep the chair where it is. We aren’t doing anything in here.”
Shit.
He’d forgotten about Richard. “I didn’t think.”
“It’s not because of him. First of all, the thought of those cameras has me kind of paranoid. Secondly, I have work to do. Thirdly, wouldn’t you rather wait until we can take our time?”
Josh set his lips to Sarah’s throat and felt the slight hum she made when he made contact. He trailed a few kisses over her skin before lifting his head.
“I’ll wait, but only because, one, seeing you naked is for my eyes only.” He ran his hands down her back and cupped her ass, aligning her hips with his. “Two, the bar closes soon.” He cradled her delicate jaw between his palms. “And, three, what I have in mind for you, Sarah Brandon, is going to take all night.”
Josh pressed his mouth to hers, meaning the kiss as only a small promise of what was yet to come. Sarah had other plans. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for more. She swiped her tongue along the seam of his lips, and Josh was lost. He was figuring out the logistics of how to get the door barricaded while still kissing her, when there was a knock.
Sarah pulled away slowly. She licked her lips and closed her eyes. She called out in an amazingly business-like voice, “Yes?” Damn, that was sexy.
“Sarah? It’s Grant. Everything okay in there?” Her busboy sounded like a disgruntled chaperone.
“Everything’s fine. Why?” Sarah threw a hungry look at Josh and started unbuttoning his shirt.
“Um, just checking on you. Julie had a question about her tips.”
Like that couldn’t wait?
“Tell her I’ll be right out.” She slid her soft hands inside the opening in his shirt and grazed her fingernails over his nipples.
Holy shit.
Josh had no idea he was sensitive there.
“Should I wait?” Grant was sounding a little too impatient for Josh’s taste. The kid needed to beat feet. Sarah pulled Josh by the shoulders and steered him over to her office chair. He fell back into it.
Sarah winked at Josh, then called out over her shoulder. “No. See if Ally needs clean beer mugs.” He watched in awe as she went down on her knees in front of him. Josh was rendered mute when she began pressing hot kisses down his chest. Sarah unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and pulled it out of his jeans.
Screw waiting.
She could consider him seduced. He rested back on his hands and let her do to him what she wanted.
“You sure?” The kid’s voice cracked. He must have had a pretty good idea something was going on and didn’t want to leave them alone together.
Sarah palmed his erection, and Josh let out a strangled groan. He cleared his throat and called out, “Go away, Grant.”
There was a mumbled, “Whatever,” then silence when Grant went back up front.
“WAIT!”
Josh popped up, shirt tails flapping behind him as he snatched up the visitor’s chair and jammed it under the knob. He tested the door with a yank inward. It stayed closed, but to hedge his bets, he set a box full of files on the seat. Then he grabbed the stack of folders on her desk and threw those on top of the box for extra weight. He added the flowers, having no idea why and not caring.
Sarah waited for him, still on her knees, looking nonplussed by his erratic behavior. Josh made his way back over and settled in the seat again. “Is this a good idea?”
“Do you want me to stop?” Pop went the button on his waistband.
“Do I want you to…?” There went his zipper.
What’s the question?
Her hot little hand wrapped around him.
Holy shit.
“Cameras?”
“No cameras. Chris and Seth were thorough.”
Josh had to close his eyes. The sight of all that golden-blonde hair hovering over his lap was fucking with his concentration. “I thought you were paranoid.”
“I was.”
“What changed?”
Why the hell is he asking?