One Night with her Boss (6 page)

Anne nestled against him, feeling safe
and warm and fully satisfied.

She wondered if he could possibly feel
the same way.

But she was too exhausted to reason it
out, so instead she just fell asleep.

Anne
wouldn’t have expected to sleep deeply after something happening as monumental
as having sex with Jake. She wouldn’t have expected to be able to sleep at all.

She did, though. She slept straight
through until she was vaguely aware of Jake moving beside her. She was feeling
cozy and clingy, so she tightened the arm that was draped over his stomach,
afraid he was trying to get up.

He wasn’t, though. He must have just
been readjusting because his arm tightened around her too.

“What time is it?” she mumbled, unable
to even open her eyes and make sure it was still dark.

“Too early to get up.” She felt him
stroking her hair and back. “Go back to sleep.”

“M’kay.” She pressed a little kiss on
his chest, since she wasn’t awake enough to guard her actions.

She soon fell back to sleep completely,
and she didn’t wake up until she rolled over and reached out for Jake
instinctively but found herself alone in the bed.

It startled her so much that she was
jarred awake. She sat up in bed, vaguely surprised that she was still wearing
his white t-shirt.

It was morning. Light was coming through
the windows, and the clock said it was just after six o’clock.

They had a meeting with Stew at eight.
She could hardly believe this morning she would have to go back to being Jake’s
assistant.

And where the hell had he gone?

The bathroom door was opened, so he was
clearly not in there. She glanced down and saw his clothes were no longer
littering the floor.

He must have gone back to his room.

She sighed, telling herself to be
reasonable.

What did she expect, anyway? It wasn’t
like one night was going to change everything she knew was true about the
world.

Jake wasn’t in love with her. They
weren’t going to miraculously become a couple, just because they’d shared one night.

People had sex all the time, when it
meant absolutely nothing.

But she felt glum, heavy, like she might
cry as she thought about how he’d acted last night—as if he’d wanted her for
real, maybe not even just her body.

He’d left her this morning, though,
without a word.

In an hour, she’d be dressed for work,
and she’d head downstairs to have some breakfast and get ready for the meeting.

He’d be her boss again.

That was all he’d ever be to her.

It hurt so much she shook with it, but
she pulled herself together quickly. She wasn’t a child. She could do this. She
could be an adult and a professional.

She could be his assistant for two more
weeks, even if he never mentioned what happened between them again.

She got up, stumbling slightly since she
was still sore between her legs. It made her feel even worse, since it reminded
her of how hard he’d taken her last night.

She was heading for the bathroom when
she saw he’d left his leather portfolio that held the yellow pad he always took
notes on.

She sighed, flipping it open to look at
the notes scrawled in his handwriting.

She was surprised to see her resignation
letter tucked under the flap. And even more surprised when she read the notes
he’d scrawled on the first page of the pad.

It was a job description. Some sort of
marketing position.

She knew immediately what it was.

It was a job for her.

When she’d already told him very clearly
there was no job she would take from him.

When both of them knew, if she was
working for him, there was no way in the world they could be together.

It was inevitable, though. If she’d let
herself think about it, even last night, she would have known it was coming.

Jake might have given himself one night
to let go, but work would always be the most important thing to him. It was the
only thing he was willing to invest in.

He wanted her for work more than he did
for herself.

Her eyes blurred over as she stared down
at his messy handwriting, trying to tell herself it didn’t change anything.

Things were exactly the way they’d been
just a minute ago, when she’d resolved to do her job and not take one night so
seriously.

But it was serious to her. Jake was
serious to her.

And there was absolutely no way she
could face him this morning—or any other morning—as nothing more than his
assistant.

She wasn’t that mature. She wasn’t that
reasonable.

She was heartbroken—and even more so because
she’d done it to herself.

Her mind wasn’t working at all, so she
had only instinct to act on. And the only instinct she had at the moment was to
flee. So she followed it. Without hesitation, she pulled on some clothes and
stuffed her belongings back into her bag.

She was ready to go in less than ten
minutes. She couldn’t find her key card so she just grabbed her purse and left
the room.

Jake would have to do without an
assistant for his meeting this morning. He would get by. He would have to.

And she would learn to get by too.

***

A
few hours later, she’d made it to the apartment she shared with Meg and Raney.
She’d taken a cab to get a rental car, and then she’d driven the rental back to
Malibu.

She’d cried most of the way back, but
she didn’t regret leaving.

It would have been impossible for her to
act like nothing had changed, when everything had changed.

Jake had learned to compartmentalize his
life to deal with the blow of losing his surfing career. But she didn’t know
how to compartmentalize. Her feelings for Jake affected everything.

She wanted to be honest with Jake as
much as she could, and that meant not pretending that everything was the same after
last night. But she also didn’t want to strip her heart entirely bare when he
hadn’t offered her his heart too.

Raney was at work, but Meg worked in
retail and her shift didn’t start until the afternoon, so she was coming back
from a run as Anne wheeled her case up to their door.

“What are you doing here?” Meg asked,
wiping sweat from her face. “Are you okay?”

Anne opened her mouth to say she was
fine but couldn’t get the words out. She just shook her head instead.

“What happened?” Meg asked, unlocking
the door since Anne hadn’t yet managed. “Did something happen with Jake?”

Anne stepped inside, left her case next
to the door, and collapsed onto the couch. Meg went to grab a bottle of water
and sat beside her.

“Tell me,” Meg insisted, when Anne tried
to compose herself enough to talk.

“I slept with him.”

Meg gasped, almost choking on a sip of
water. “You’re kidding. How did that happen?”

“I don’t know. It just did. I don’t know
what we were thinking.”

“Well, you were thinking you were in
love with him. But what was he thinking?”

“He was thinking…it was just a one-time
thing.”

“How do you know?”

“He left me.”

“What do you mean, he left you?”

“He left in the morning. Without saying
a word.”

Meg’s mouth fell open. “So he wouldn’t
even talk to you?”

“He didn’t. He just left.”

“I mean, you tried to talk to him,
right?”

Anne swallowed. “No. He was gone.”

“Wait a minute. I don’t understand. You
didn’t even try to talk to him afterwards.”

“There wasn’t any point. He always
thinks about work first. He’s trying to keep me as an employee.”

“So he had sex with you as a way to—”

“No. No. Not like that. The sex was
separate. It was just a thing. But he only wants me as an employee. Not as a…as
a…”

Meg was obviously thinking hard, a frown
breaking her pretty, freckled face. “Did you leave him a note or something, to
explain why you left?”

“No.” Anne released a long sigh and
rubbed her face. “I guess I should have. I’m technically still working for
him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not about
work. It’s about you running out a guy you had sex with without explanation.
That’s kind of cold.”

“It’s not like I snuck out while he was
asleep.” Anne was starting to feel a little defensive. “He snuck out on me. He
didn’t want to talk to me. He feels awkward and doesn’t want to hurt my
feelings. I know him, remember? I’ve worked for him for seven years. I know
exactly what he’s thinking. He doesn’t give himself over to things he wants
very much. He wanted to have a good time last night, so he let down enough to
have it. But he’s not about to let it reprioritize his life. It’s always work
for him. That’s always going to be first.”

“Damn it, Anne. You didn’t even give him
the chance!”

“If he wanted a chance, he would have
said something. And he wouldn’t have left me alone this morning. He doesn’t
want a chance. I know him, Meg. I know him.” She was almost crying again, so
she took a minute to stop herself.

Meg looked like she was going to argue
some more, but she must have stopped herself. Her mouth closed, and she was
silent for a minute. Then she said in a different tone, “So what are you going
to do?”

“Nothing. He can sue me if he wants, for
not giving him two weeks’ notice. I just can’t work for him anymore.”

“Oh, Anne. I’m sorry it’s all a mess.
But take today. Maybe you’ll feel a little better tomorrow, and then you can go
talk to him.”

“What would I even say? You don’t expect
me to humiliate myself by pouring out my heart when he doesn’t return my
feelings, do you? Because I’m never going to do that.”

“Maybe there’s something in between
spilling your guts and not saying anything at all.”

Anne thought about the mild words and
realized her friend was right. She groaned and leaned her head back against the
couch. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“Maybe tomorrow.” Meg smiled at her and
stood up. “Do you want something to eat or drink?”

“Just coffee. Thanks.”

“What are you wearing, anyway?” Meg
peered at her. “Is that his t-shirt?”

Anne looked down at herself. It was
Jake’s t-shirt. She couldn’t believe she still had it on.

It felt like it was all she had left of
him.

Before she could say anything, there was
a knock on the door that made her jump.

Frowning, Meg walked over to look out
the peephole. Then she leaped back like she’d been burned.

“It’s him,” she hissed in a stage
whisper.

Anne blinked at her. “It’s who?”

“It’s Jake! He’s here!”

“What do you mean, he’s here.” Anne
jumped to her feet, slammed with shock and bewilderment. “What is he doing
here?”

“I guess you’ll have to open the door
and ask him.” Meg was grinning as she grabbed her water and skittered out of
the room, closing her bedroom door behind her. Then she popped her head out and
said, “Don’t do anything stupid,” before she closed the door again.

Anne stared at the closed door until
there was another knock.

She walked over to stand in front of it.

“I know you’re in there,” Jake said
through the door, sounding impatient, exasperated. “Anne, open the damned
door.”

There was nothing Anne could do. She
opened the door.

Anne
stared at Jake standing in front of her, just over the threshold of the door.

He was a mess—unshaved, with hair
sticking up in all directions, and wearing the trousers and wrinkled shirt he’d
worn yesterday.

Minus the t-shirt, since she was wearing
that.

She blinked, vaguely bewildered, since
she’d thought he’d gone to his own room this morning to shower, dress, and get
ready for the day.

But he sure didn’t look like he’d taken
a shower. He looked like he’d just rolled out of bed.

“What are you doing here?” she asked,
since they were the only words that came to her lips.

“What are you doing?” he demanded, his
gaze searching her face with an intensity she’d only occasionally seen in him
before.

“I’m sorry.” She ran a hand down her
hair, instinctively trying to smooth it down because it was probably as messy
as his was.

When he just stared at her, looking
almost broken, she realized with crystal clarity that she’d done everything
wrong. Leaving the way she had this morning was the worst thing she could have
done.

For everyone.

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I
shouldn’t have left like that. But you didn’t have to come after me. It wasn’t
an emergency. You should have stayed to meet with Stew. Now you’ve wasted the
whole trip.”

“What?” His voice broke on the one word,
and his expression was baffled. Shocked. Hurt.

Hurt.

Her chest ached so much she could barely
breathe. “Oh, Jake, I’m so sorry about everything.” She looked down at her feet
in her highest heels, which she was still wearing. She desperately tried to
think of something to say that would start to fix things.

“May I please come in?” Jake asked in a
more composed tone.

“Oh. Yeah. Of course. Sorry.” She
stepped aside and let him into the apartment. Then slowly shut the door behind
him, listening to the sound of the soft click. “Jake—”

“No,” he interrupted, stepping toward
her with a new urgency. “Let me talk first. I’m not sure what you’re running
away from, Anne, but I don’t think it’s as bad as you think.” His gray eyes
held hers without breaking. “I think there’s more to keep you with me than
there is to push you away.”

She cleared her throat, blinking at the
earnestness in his tone. She’d never heard Jake like this before. He’d always
managed to be both laidback and professional. Not at all like this. It left her
feeling shaky, but this was too important, so she made herself summon her
courage to tell him the truth. “I know you want me to stay, Jake. I’m really
sorry, but I can’t.”

“Why not?” He reached out to hold one of
her upper arms, dragging her a little closer to him. “Tell me why you don’t
think you can stay. Tell me why, so I can fix it.”

Her emotions were such a turmoil that
her vision was blurring, but she pushed through it, holding onto her composure.
“There’s nothing to fix.”

His expression twisted. “That’s not
fair, Anne. You can’t just leave me without at least telling me what’s driving
you away, without giving me a chance to make it better.”

She made a frustrated sound in her
throat, since—after everything—they still seemed to be having the same
conversation. She gently pulled her arm out of his grip because she could think
more clearly when he wasn’t touching her. “I know it doesn’t seem fair to you,
but you’re only thinking about yourself—about what’s good for you. And—”

“I can be good for you, Anne.” His voice
was even hoarser now than it had been last night, like it was breaking on every
word. “I know I’ve been blind and stubborn and…and I haven’t given you any
reason to believe me, but I swear I can be good for you.”

Anne was almost in tears again, since
his words were so close to what she wanted to hear.

Close, but not everything. And she knew
she couldn’t settle for less than everything.

She cleared her throat again so she
could speak with more composure. She took a step toward him this time and held
his gaze. “Listen to me, Jake. I need you to really hear me.” She paused before
she said the words. “I can’t—there’s absolutely no way I can work for you
anymore.” When he started to interrupt, she talked over him. “Please hear what
I’m saying. I know you think you need me in your company, but you really don’t.
You’ll learn to work with someone else. I saw the notes on that position you
were trying to put together for me, and I’m telling you I’m never going to take
it. After last night, there’s no way I can work for you again, and it really
wasn’t good for me to be working for you this whole last year. I can’t do it. I
won’t do it anymore.”

The words felt right—really hard but the
true thing, the thing that needed to be said. And they seemed to have a
profound effect on Jake. He stared at her, intense emotions passing over his
face in sequence.

Then he turned away from her abruptly
with a rough sound in his throat, his shoulders shaking a few times.

She stared at his back, every instinct
in her body screaming at her to go to him, to help him somehow. “Oh, Jake, I’m
sorry—”

He whirled around, and his face was
transformed. Whatever had been tearing at him earlier seemed to have completely
disappeared. It almost looked like he’d been laughing.

“What—” she began in utter confusion.

He reached out to take her face in both
of his hands. “Now you listen to me. Hear what I’m saying right now.” He
paused, and she was rocked by the passion and tenderness clearly evident in his
expression. “Anne, you’re fired.”

“What?” she breathed.

“You’re fired.”

“I don’t understand.”

He stroked her cheek with one of his
thumbs. “You can’t work for me anymore.”

“Why not?”

“Because it would be completely
inappropriate for me to feel for an employee the way I feel for you.”

She was almost choking on her joy and
astonishment. “It would?”

“Of course, it would. When I said I
wanted you to stay with me, I meant stay with me for real—not stay in your job.
When I said I could be good for you, I didn’t mean I could be a better boss. I
don’t want to be your boss. I want to be your…”

“My what?” She was shaking so much she
could hardly get the two words out.

He cleared his throat and said with just
a tinge of self-deprecation, “Your man.”

She choked on a laugh, the way he had
earlier when he’d realized they’d been talking at cross-purposes. It was almost
too much to take in.

“Laugh at me if you want, but I’m
telling you the truth. I’m absolutely crazy about you. So you’re fired.”

“You can’t fire me,” she managed to say.
“I already quit.”

“Okay.” A little smile was playing on
his lips now, as if he could read the tender emotion in her face and realized
she felt the same way he did. “Then I accept your resignation.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” His hands got a little tighter
as he searched her face one more time.

“Yeah. Okay.”

With a groan, he pulled her into his arms,
into a hug so hard she couldn’t breathe for a moment. She hugged him back,
though, feeling like things were exactly right between them for the first
time…maybe ever.

The embrace went on for a long time—just
them holding each other with matching need. Then finally Jake pulled away and
asked, “Do you think we could sit down now? I feel like I might pass out after
the morning I’ve had.”

Anne went to sit on the couch, and he
followed her, collapsing beside her with a low groan.

“What do you mean, after the morning
you’ve had?” she asked, genuinely curious.

“What do you think I mean? I came to
find you this morning, and you were gone. You’d run out on me without a word.
So I had to jump in the car and come after you. Damn, those might have been the
worst hours of my life, thinking what I’d finally found was just going to slip
through my fingers.”

It took her several moments to process
his words, but when she did, she leaned back in a slump. “Oh.”

He slanted her a look. “Why did you run
out on me this morning, Anne?”

“I thought…” She was suddenly afraid to
admit it, since she’d clearly jumped to conclusions that were completely wrong,
and it was a little embarrassing. “I thought you’d left me.”

“What? What did you think happened last
night?”

He looked so surprised that she blushed
hotly. “Last night was…amazing. But I woke up and you were gone. Then I saw
your notes on the new position for me, and I thought it was a sign that you’d
never think I was as important as your work, and I knew I couldn’t take anything
less than…having you for real. So I just…ran.”

He reached over and pulled her against
his chest. “You little idiot,” he said, tenderness obvious in his voice. “I had
just gone down to get us some breakfast.”

“Oh.” She thought for a moment and
realized how completely wrong she’d been. She hid her face in his shirt. “Oh
God.”

He was laughing as he wrapped both of
his arms around her again.

“Don’t laugh at me,” she told him,
without any real heat. She pulled away enough to look up at his face. “I had
good reason to think you’d pulled back and prioritized your work again, since
you’d been doing it for years.”

“I know,” he said in a different tone,
gently stroking her hair. “I’ve been more of an idiot than you could ever be.
I’m sorry it took me so long. Work was always safer—the one thing I felt like I
could control. When you told me you were quitting, I was almost out of my mind.
I kept thinking you wouldn’t be my employee anymore, so there would be nothing
holding me back. But I was so used to putting my feelings on hold, I didn’t
think I could let myself act on them. I didn’t think I could ever have you.
Have you and keep you, I mean.”

She understood exactly what he meant.
She knew him as well as she knew herself. “I didn’t think I could ever have you
either,” she admitted.

“So we were both wrong.” He leaned down
to gently kiss her lips. “I always knew I needed you in my life, but for a long
time I pretended that having you at work was enough. But it’s not. And, just so
you know, now that I have you like this, there’s no way in hell I’m ever going
to let you go.”

She beamed up at him. “Sounds just about
right to me.”

They kissed for a minute—emotional and a
little clumsy—until a voice startled them from the other side of the apartment.

Meg called out, “I’m coming out. I’m
sorry, but I need to go to work.”

“That’s fine,” Anne replied,
straightening up a little although Jake wouldn’t let her out of the circle of
his arms.

“I’m closing my eyes so I won’t see if
anything untoward is happening in there.”

Both Jake and Anne started laughing, and
Anne said, “Nothing untoward is happening. You can open your eyes.”

Meg emerged from the hall, dressed for
work and grinning at both of them. “So you guys finally worked everything out?”

“Yeah.” Anne was smiling just as broadly
as her friend was, feeling sheepish and giddy both.

“Excellent. I’m leaving now, so you can
do whatever untoward things you’d like to do without being interrupted. Just
please tell me that I get to be the one to tell Raney.”

“You can tell Raney.”

Meg cackled as she grabbed her purse and
headed to the door. “She’s going to be so jealous that I knew before her.”

Anne called out a laughing farewell as
her friend left the apartment. Then she turned back to Jake, who was gazing at
her with a softness that turned her into emotional mush. “So what now?” she
asked.

“I don’t know. What do you think?” He
pulled her against him again, so she was leaning against his chest.

It wasn’t a bad position at all.

“You left poor Stew in a lurch. Will you
go back to San Diego to help him out?”

“I don’t think so. I can talk him
through things on the phone, if he can’t figure it out on his own.”

“Then I guess you should probably start
looking for a new assistant.”

“I guess so. Although I’m not sure we
have to start that immediately. I mean, not right now.” He shifted their bodies
slightly so she could look him in the eyes.

“What else did you have in mind for
right now?” she asked, although she was pretty sure she could read the hot
expression in his face.

He leaned down and said against her
lips, “Right now, I’m going to do what I’ve wanted to do for ages, but didn’t
think I’d ever be allowed.

She wrapped her arms around him. “And
what’s that?”

“This.”

He eased her down so she was lying on
the couch, and he showed her.