One (33 page)

"Open your eyes."

I struggle to obey. My
body is ringing, and pain is everywhere. If it hurt to blink before,
the pain is multiplied by a hundred now.

"Stop crying and
open your eyes!" The voice orders.
Smack!
I jerk. Someone
is whimpering. I want to shut out the sounds. I don't want to hear
it.

"Julianna, you
little bitch, open your eyes before I shut them forever."

The whimpering gets
louder.

I realize it's coming
from me.

I gasp with the effort,
but I do it. I open my eyes.

At first, all I see a
bright light. It's gray and white at the same time, reminding me of a
hospital. Out of the corner of my eyes I see the figures of people.
Two, maybe more. I turn my head, but the effort is too much for me,
so I stay still instead. My wrist shifts, and the coldness hits me
again. Instantly, I'm motionless.

Steel cold.

Handcuffs.

I'm handcuffed to a
table. My feet are cuffed, too. Ironically, my head is the only part
of my body not chained, but it's the part that hurts the most to
move.

"Ah, little
tigress, you are awake."

The voice sends shivers
down my spine. It's haunted my dreams and now it's back in the flesh.

"Gonzales," I
croak out. Whatever I'm lying on shifts, and slowly I'm moved
vertically until I'm in a standing position with my body cuffed to
the table. The shadow in front of me moves, coming into the light. He
looks exactly as I remember: handsome with thick hair and perfect
rectangle spectacles over the bridge of his nose. There is only one
difference: Gonzales is limping. He follows the direction of my gaze.

"Crutches. They
are not so bad once you get used to them." He smiles. "I've
actually found very creative uses for these." Disgust boils in
my stomach. "It's become a blessing you shot me in the hips. If
you'd been a centimeter off, you would have gotten the family
jewels." His heavy accent makes the words sound less deadly than
they are. I'm not fooled. He's playing with me. He will find a way to
hurt me very badly before this is all over.

I hear the sounds of a
door closing. "Today is a good day," Gonzales begins with a
large smile. "Two days ago, I gave orders for my men to find
you, and today, you are here, perfectly wrapped." He pauses,
grinning with white teeth. "Just for me." It's important to
keep my eye on the predator so I try to follow him with my gaze even
though I am terrified inside.

He makes a clucking
sound. "You have caused me a lot of trouble, little
chica
.
My enemies came for me. They heard a little girl had gotten the best
of me." He reaches for my arm. "They wanted to overthrow
me. Can you believe that?" He squeezes my arm, and I gasp from
the pain. "
They
wanted to destroy
me
. They forget
I am a ghost, and I can slip away from their grasp like mists."
His fingers dig into my skin so hard that I'm sure he's broken it. He
bends until his face is inches from mine.

"You've caused me
a lot of trouble, Julianna. Tell me why I should not kill you right
now."

"The FBI knows
about you," I blurt out. I swallow and it feels like my throat
has turned into sandpaper. "One of your henchmen snitched."
I cough. I taste blood in my mouth. Someone has hit me.

He makes a sound like a
click. "Ah, that has always been a problem for every man in my
line of work. Loyalty is so easily bought and bartered."
Gonzales doesn't seem concerned, and instantly, I wonder if I've made
the wrong move.

"They will come
for you," I say, struggling on. "They know everything."

That makes him
hesitate, but it's brief. He moves behind me and disappears from my
line of vision.

"Do you know why I
chose to come here?" he asks, his voice more faint. He doesn't
wait for me to reply. "I saw opportunity in this country. There
was a demand for what I do, and I took advantage of it. I'm a
businessman, Juliana. I supply the demand."

Gonzales returns to
stand in front of me. "I'm a farmer. I plant Cannabis, among
other things. I make marijuana and ship it to people who need it.
Some use it for pleasure, others use it to help their body. What I do
doesn't kill anyone, not directly anyway, and yet your country's
government spends millions every year to take guys like me down."

He limps closer. "Your
companies make many things and send the toxins into the air, hurting
our atmosphere, helping to destroy our very planet, and yet they are
not persecuted. They have white skin, blonde hair, and fancy suits
and your government looks the other way. I have fancy suits too, but
I have black hair, brown eyes, and an accent. So they come after
me
."

They come after you
because you're a
criminal
,
you idiot!

He's moving again. "We
traveled to many places before settling here. The plants need many
things and the winter is very harsh. Many friends laugh that I try to
do this in Minnesota instead of places like California. But the
police go there first,
no
? They never come here. They don't
think anyone can make it here." He smiles. "But I did. I
made it."

His chest puffs out a
little. He can't hide his pride. "They can come here and burn
everything. They can take it all away, but I will always rebuild
again."

"Not if you're in
jail," I say. "Not if they catch you."

He waves a hand in
dismissal. "They may catch me, but they won't be able to keep
me." He boasts. His connections are far reaching. A nagging
doubt whispers maybe he's right; maybe he'd escape if he wanted to.

"Winter is here,"
he announces abruptly. "We have slowed down on our production,
only making what the green houses can take," he reveals. "The
money is not so good in the winter."

"You don't look
like you're starving."

"No," he
confirms. "I'm a businessman. I deal in many…businesses."

Red.
The room.
The people. The blood.

I quiver.

"Are you cold?"
His smile is icier than the arctic. I can't move. If the cold isn't
freezing me, the intense fear I feel right now is. "Do you know
what I call this room, Julianna?" I don't dare answer him. He
pushes his face closer to mine. "The meat room." He moves a
strand of hair from my eyes. It's the touch of death. "Do you
know what the meat is?"

My eyes fog up. Tears
fill them until I can't see anymore.

"You."

He moves back. One hand
reaches out to touch my abdomen area. "Do you know how much a
kidney is worth on the black market?" A nail presses deep into
my skin. I jump. "A heart? A brain?" He watches my
reaction. "If there is a demand, I supply it. The demand for
body organs is staggering, astounding really. There just aren't
enough people dying to make up for what people want." His finger
pushes hard against my stomach. "That's where I come in."

My teeth chatter. I
can't control how violently I'm shaking.

"There is a demand
for live subjects to test different drugs and chemicals. There is
even a demand from certain clients for specific body parts." He
pauses. "For example, human tongue, I hear is quite a delicacy
in some parts of the world."

A graphic picture
suddenly flashes in my head.
Cannibalism.
It isn't real.
He's
lying isn't he?
Full blown panic reaches to every part of me. His
eyes survey me like I'm merchandise. I gag. Whatever I have in my
stomach comes up in a rush. It's thin and watery and I continue to
heave even when there's nothing left. He watches me with a disgusted
look on his face.

"You are not naive
about this world, Julianna. I expected a little more steel from you.
After all, you did single handedly burn down my farm."

I blink rapidly, not
acknowledging it. In my fantasies, I stand up to Gonzales. I'm
triumphant as I tell him what I did. In this reality, I don't do
that. I'm shaking too much. My heart's racing faster than I ever
imagined it could. I try to get my breathing under control.

"Yes, I've thought
about it and have concluded it must be you. No one else knows where
it is except the workers, and you're the only one stupid enough to
try something like that. You can burn everything down for all I
care," he dismisses. "The
real
money is here."
He pinches my skin. I attempt to shrink back, but there's nowhere to
move. My cheeks are wet with my tears.

A man in blue scrubs
steps into my line of vision. "This is Doctor Martinez. He will
be performing your surgery today." Before I can scream, Gonzales
puts his hand over my mouth. He moves so fast I don't see him coming.
"I'm not bothering to gag you," he hisses. "I want the
others to hear your screams. I want them to tell everyone what
happens when you cross Juan Gonzales. I want you to watch him cut
your body and feel
every single incision
. You made a mistake
when you chose to cross me, little tigress." He presses his face
against my ear. "And now I want everyone to hear you
purr
."

His words paralyze me.
I feel completely numb. I pray the feeling will remain. I close my
eyes. They will come for me. They have the map.
They will come…

I just need to survive.

Gonzales moves back,
shoving me back against the board. He gestures to the man beside him.
"You may begin."

I can't stop screaming
when I feel the blade pierce my skin.

The first cut is the
deepest.

When the blade slices
my abdomen, I feel the penetration to my core. The lights above waver
before they're right on top of me again, glaring and encompassing.
The pain is so sharp that the heat from the bulb seems to burn my
skin, scalding it into submission. I struggle against my restraints,
but it only causes my stomach to slide closer to the blade, and
nearer to my torture.

Animal sounds come from
me, raw, wild and uncontrollable. I've never felt any pain like this.
It's as if every cell inside me has been torched, the fire burning
them into ashes. I hear the sounds of metal scraping. I even hear the
sounds of my blood dripping, spilling over me like the slow dripping
of raindrops over leaves. Mostly, I hear my terror, shrill screams I
didn't know I was capable of making. A tiny part of me begs me to
resist, to quiet my cries and die in defiance. My body refuses to
cooperate, shrinking and begging for mercy.

The pain is too much.

A heavy gray cloud
descends before my eyes. If I peer closely, I see a tunnel. I feel
something being pulled out of me, and abruptly, I'm moving toward the
tunnel. A figure is waiting for me.

"Dad?" I
whisper.

I've never seen his
face before. For a moment, light pierces the darkness around me. For
a moment, I feel a tiny spark of something other than anguish.
Dad?
The figure turns and the outline of his body becomes clearer. There
was smoke around him before like the showers I used to take where
steam would settle over a mirror. The steam is dissipating now and
slowly his face comes into view. I reach out my hand to him.
Something hard tugs at my midsection as if it's pulling away at my
insides. I tremble.

Please,
I try to
tell him.
Take me away.

The figure steps back.

Abruptly, his eyes
start to glow. They become so bright they blind me. When the light
starts to dim, I make out what color his eyes are.

Green.

Familiar.

The figure takes
another step back.

He won't take my
hand,
I realize. He's stopped my pain before, yet he refuses now.
Why?
I want to shout.
Why?
He doesn't reply.

Then the blackness
comes over me, washing over everything but his green eyes.

Survive.

* * *

I jerk awake. Screams
surround me.

"Do you hear that?
It's music to my ears."

Cruel laughter follows.
Something tugs at me, pulling and bruising.

"Almost there…"

My whole body feels
weightless. The screams get louder.

"There! We have
it." His voice is calm and analytical. "Shall I take both?"

"No. Only one for
now. I want her alive."

"What will you do
with her?"

"Break her piece
by piece and sell her to the highest bidder."

I feel a hand circle my neck. The
screams stop.

I'm floating over an
emerald city.

I see fields
everywhere, stretching like thick fabric. There's a figure directly
below me. Her skirt billows out as she tries to follow me, waving. A
ghost of a smile traces her features, so familiar and comforting that
I tear up.

"Grandma!"
I shout into the wind. "Follow me!" I know she hears me
because she continues to look up, forming words I can't hear. I shake
my head. "We'll go together," I tell her. We'll be together
forever.

She continues to look at me, a
tender expression that stops the pain in my stomach. I want her to
keep looking at me like that. I halt, slowly sliding down, drifting
closer to her.

"She's losing too
much blood. Pump another pint into her…"

I'm a shadow,
translucent and broken.

"Heart rate's low.
We'll shoot another..."

"I want her alive.
We need her to barter with them." Gonzales cold voice seeps
through my consciousness.

I'm a wisp of air.

I can't hold onto myself any longer.

"Go away,"
she tells me. She has a smile on her face though. She's happy to see
me. I feel it.

I shake my head,
clutching my midsection. "No." My feet are almost to the
ground. I feel it pull at me like magnet. "No." She reaches
out her hand like she wants to touch me. I hesitate. I want her to,
but I'm afraid. I'm close enough to see faint marks on her body.
Bloodstains.