Authors: Gillian Crook
Still hyper, when I got into bed I asked for the payphone, and what I’m about to tell you—you are going to think I’m mad… .
Well, when I was sorting things out earlier in my locker, I came across an old address book, and happened to find in with all my other contacts Pete’s (the beater), mums address and phone number. I remember thinking what a lovely person his mum was, when she had made me feel so welcome one New Years when we went to spend it with them. In some ways, I could see why Pete was the way he was… his father was cold, hostile and totally unloving to his only son. It started to add up; he grew up in this family that had a history of being in the military, and he had to live up to his dad’s expectations, whose career in the army only left him with a permanent injury and he was now living off his MOD pension. He was a cold, selfish, arrogant man. Of course he was nice enough to me, as I was a guest, but it was just the whole set up of his parent’s household that was weird… the father had his own bedroom and only went into his wife’s (Ros) room when he ‘wanted it’. She played the role of wife, hostess, domestic, cook, cleaner, washer and general dogs-body, and then to add to the list ‘easy-lay’ . . . he was a disgusting man, and almost had me feeling sorry for Pete… in fact, I did feel sorry for Pete, to my horror, because I never thought I would ever be saying that about him, after what he had done to me in the last year of our relationship, (another book?!).
Anyway, it was Ros that I thought I would phone, because I had erased Pete’s number from my mobile after the last time I saw him in Plymund. Well, I had decided that if I didn’t get any response the first time, I would probably just leave it… . mmh, well, it rang for a while and then it was picked up… to be honest, if it had been the father I would have put the phone down on that lout! Anyway Ros picked the phone up and was most surprised to hear my voice, but seemed really pleased… so we chatted for a while and then I told her about the accident and she was genuinely upset for me… so, the conversation went on to Pete from that, and she asked me if he knew, because he hadn’t said anything to her. I told her I had lost his number and she didn’t volunteer Pete’s number, but did say if she heard from him would it be ok to give him my number? I said yes and left it at that, and we said our goodbyes.
Well, it couldn’t have been more than five minutes later, I got a call at the ward and the nurse that brought the phone said it was a friend of mine, Pete… oh Jesus, he didn’t waste any time… what had I done!? . . . . take the phone, talk, stay calm, and act unflustered… fuck sake, it’s only PETE. So, he sounded really happy to hear my voice, and asked me why I hadn’t phoned him before and I explained I lost his number, deliberately threw it away more like. He was all apologies for the accident and kept saying things like, why hadn’t he been there to protect me; why hadn’t he taken me back home with him; and if we had stayed together and not argued in Plymund (what he meant was, if he hadn’t tried to have sex with every girl, especially my best mate, in the rehab, we wouldn’t have argued in Plymund, more like)??? I didn’t really want to go into too many details, and just told him that I had been a diving accident on a bank holiday when I was still in Plymund but was now in Glasgow, so thought it would be a nice gesture to say hello to his mum, seeing as she was only in Irvine, which was about an hour drive from the hospital. Anyway, he dropped a clanger that he got MARRIED ON 1 NOV, this year!! AND HE HAD A BABY son called LI because that was the Chinese name of his wife; MY GOD, the irony; HE who would never marry anyone but a SCOTTISH girl; had actually married a CHINESE girl and now had a Chinese Scottish baby!! THEN, he started to profess his love for me, and said that it was just a ‘marriage of convenience’, to get the girl a Chinese passport, in exchange for the ‘baby he always wanted’! I honestly didn’t know what to say, Pete dropped some clangers before but this took the biscuit!!
When we had been together, before the violence had started, he was always telling me he wanted a baby, but I was 38, and didn’t want anymore children (I had two I already loved), and he knew that, but didn’t want to give up our relationship, still, I didn’t think, even, he would have gone to these lengths to get his baby. (He was in bloody la la land, not the baby)!
The very last address where we had been living together was in Thentard, Suffolk, on a housing estate. It only suited me because there were 2 spare rooms for my kiddies to stay. After I left he was telling me that Li, his ‘wife’, had been one of the lodgers he had taken in, and Li and the others were working in the the local fish factory… in fact, now he had 3 other Chinese and a polish couple and their child, lodging in the flat; this meant that his 3 bedroom flat, was now home to 7 adults, one child, one baby and a long nosed English bull terrier (that he had bought ME as a pet, no less), and the dog only had the patio, off the living room on the 4th floor up to live on and at times the only place to do ‘it’s business’ as well—poor bugger! (I mean the dog). I didn’t think it was fair to the dog anyway to be in that flat, but now the dog wouldn’t even have the run of the house. Anyway, when I mentioned the dog, and my concerns, he told me that he had given him to a breeder of all kinds of bull dogs and he was in a happier home. I bloody well hope so, (poor bouncer, that wouldn’t have been hard for him to find something happier, plus he wasn’t a kiddie’s dog either). He had bought that dog for me to look after, so that he could call bouncer OUR baby—friggin nutter—why had I been so blind!, probably because half the time I was, BLIND DRUNK!
Duncan, was nearly tying himself in knots trying to get my attention that he needed the phone… but I wasn’t letting this little hotline go; I was enjoying this intriguing tale of Pete’s Chinese Espionage Plan too much by this time, and my mind was working overtime, anyway, I made out to Duncan that someone was upset at the other end of the phone and he quit the antics. Pete then went on to tell me, so that I wasn’t thinking that he was really married (even though he told me he was), NO, in fact she now had her wedding license, and they ‘acted out a wedding’ for the photos; which meant taking pictures outside the registry office, with Martin (one his only friend, a trekkie Goth,) as his best man, and one of Martin’s neighbours sister, niece, twice-removed cousin, half-bred nymphet, as the witness, and one of the fake brides work mates from the fish factory, as the other witness!!! Oh, what a lovely bunch, and lovely pictures that must have made, oh and don’t forget, the baby being held (for effect), oh, but the baby was ‘real’!! Silly me!! So a wedding document issued under totally ‘false pretences’, and orchestrated and phony wedding photos, the only thing left to do was ‘fool’ his mum (what a damn shame), and the authorities of course, when it comes to her citizenship (minor details). But the more scary thing I think, would have been trying to convince his psycho Dad who loves everything Scottish, and to him the English up in Scotland were ‘white settlers’ so, what the hell were the Chinese gonna be? kamikaze slit-eyed bastards that should have all been killed in the war? The very strange thing is that I believed that the person on the other end of this phone was actually starting to believe that this masterplan was going to really work… so when I asked if any of what he had told me was fabricated? . . . He said No, course not? . . . . Silly me… . daft question? This is Pete we’re talking about here.
Just when I think he couldn’t surprise me with his little scams anymore… he delivers! On a silver platter! Or should I say ‘Chinese take-away’, that he may try and get involved in trying to find out from his chinese connections, how he could perhaps find women for their men to get visas and vica-versa!! He’s an immoral bloody creep, and has lost the plot, and I’m hooked—not in him stupid… . his absolute invincible attitude that he believes he can actually do it! What next?
Honestly, the guy lives on cloud cuckoo-land; after all that, he told me more than once, that the only person he had ever loved had left him… I never asked who… but before I could say anything, he explained, that he only had to be falsely married to her for a year, and then she gets her citizenship and he gets the baby!! AND he will then be able to be with and look after ME… OH MY GOD! Well, as Pete goes that really does take the Millionaire shortbread!
I was worn out, and told him I had hogged the phone long enough and had to go. I said my goodnights and then he asked if he could phone tomorrow and txt me, and I told him he could, but because of the hospital I may not be able to reply very quickly… . if ever!! I haven’t a clue about the right way to do these scams, but no doubt all will become clear tomorrow, and believe me, in no way do I condone what he’s done—in fact, I think its disgusting when there’s an innocent baby involved. I hope to god he isn’t lifting his hands to Li. I would think she is more likely to be a YES woman(I was gonna say wife), who cooks, cleans the house, gets in the shopping, looks after the baby all day, and has the 6.30 dinner on the table for him, so when Pete gets home from work he can play with the baby, (oh, before he plays with the baby, he will go to the loo to do his no.2s and read his adult porn magazines, or the sci-fi monthly—how disgusting, and not wash his hands after either! yuk!), for at least half an hour and you will then find that he will expect to be washed (probably all over by her and then they will probably have really kinky sex)! Well, who else does that to his wife!!? Can you see a pattern forming mmh?? . . . . father like son, maybe?
Actually, Pete may ask her to do all those things, that I didn’t do, by the way, but no doubt he will also show her love because, after all, in all seriousness, she’s the mother of his child and he will treat her well and get her nice things when he can. Why is it, that men like Pete, have their lovely gentle, kind, thoughtful side as well. You know, I really don’t care that much about what they are doing in their little sham of a marriage, but I must say people intrigue me, and I am ‘intrigued’ at the mentality of some people, and now I’m just glad that I’m a single, independent woman and intend to stay like that—even though the independence bit is not so easy as I thought, (at the moment).
Had a funny nights sleep, funny peculiar… . I had a dream that I was actually dancing, and I have no idea who with, but we were having such a good time, and when I said to him to LOOK I CAN DANCE, MY LEGS ARE MOVING, he just said, Oh that’s good, as if it were entirely natural. Sometimes you would think that having these types of dreams would be upsetting, but I actually love them. I remember the film Demolition Man, and it was based in the future, and certain things in life could be experienced using ‘virtual reality’, and I just thought that it would be so nice if I could just put on some kind of headgear and transport myself to say, perhaps a bowling alley, to have a game of bowls and then WALK into a cinema, and then after that onto somewhere that I could go dancing, and then perhaps finish a lovely day with a virtual Colin Farrell!! Oh, dream on… . ok, maybe that’s asking just a little bit too much. But in the film Sandra Bullock, puts on her ‘headgear’ to have virtual sex, and then Sylvester Stallone shows her the real thing!!! . . . . Yeah, maybe on the grand scheme of things, there are just no substitutes for the REAL thing, if you no what I mean, ha ha!
Anyway, it’s a posse day today and the main man, Mr Templar came round and explained that my wound was looking really clean, and that the last swab they had taken had come back ‘negative’. Yes! Excellent! Now they would only have to wait for one more swab to come back negative, and hey presto, we are in the clear and living on borrowed time till the Op!
Gillian, who is a very serious nurse, is in today, and she is actually one of these really good nurses that just seem to make everything look effortless without making a fuss. She oozes confidence and reminds me of a skinny version of the ‘big’ nurse down in Derry, and I can’t remember her flipping name! I took my pleats out today and I have one thin side and one thicker side, because of the butchered hairdo I got in Derry hospital. I don’t suppose they were too concerned about the fashion police when they were trying to sew my scalp together!! Do you know, its really strange, but I’m dying to find out what else Petes’ been up to?
After lunch, ward 5 was getting the ‘once over’ with the old bleach, because lets face it, we really don’t want to end up with MRSA, I had the shitty little S, and that was bad enough! So Hose is on the trolley and I am just going to be put on the rack, and get some stretching exercises done by Rhona. Actually, she explained to me how to effectively do stretching exercises from the bed, and I’m really quite flexible, I never knew it before, but I can put my head right in between my legs, arms outstretched, and it’s quite a feat! Poor Duncan, is in real pain with his spasms… his whole face just crinkles up and his hands tightly clasp his chair, when he is trying to ride them through… . they’re bloody awful things, your whole body just gets massive cramps. The only way I can describe them are, if you could imagine getting cramps in your legs that ripple up through your body until they reach the top of your spine, and contract so so tightly you can sometimes go ‘rigid’, or you legs start bouncing up and down in a frantic fashion, so badly, that I even saw one of the young lads ‘spasm’ out of his chair and a grown woman ‘whimper’ in pain, just because someone touched her and set them off?
My writing is really jumbled up today… my head is everywhere and I keep thinking about the kids because they never phoned last night, and now I just ‘expect’ them to phone me! I hope they’re ok? My God, I received some texts from Pete today, and I am really struggling to answer because I don’t want to open up a MASSIVE CAN OF WORMS! (if I haven’t already)!
Mum called today and was telling me that my Aunt Helen isn’t too good, her health seems to be deteriorating, and she is a good age, 90 I think? But even I’m worried, because I love Aunt Helen so much; she was really good to me and Barry, and has always been there for everyone in the family! She’s a wonderful, lovely special woman. Anyway, mum seems determined that she is coming down twice before Christmas. I love mum soo much, and always feel so bad when I am short with her, but sometimes things get really bad, and mum is always there to take the earache, bless her! She really has so much to deal with and she tries to please everyone, and that’s hard work, because there are so many in our flippin family. I’m going to make sure that she gets to see the kids somehow when they come up. I just can’t wait to see them, I love them so much, and it’s them that keep me going. Between them and mum, they give my life meaning and a purpose and without them I probably would have lost the will to live by now.