One Thousand Nights (21 page)

“Poor thing,” Therissa said, her eyes troubled. “Certainly none of this is her fault.”

“No,” I replied, for I had thought the same thing on many occasions. “But while I do not like it, I do understand what a terrible position Besh has been put in with regards to raising her. She
might
be his, but from the way he spoke of her, I got the impression he was fairly sure she was not. Very likely Hezia was only intimate enough with him to sow the seeds of doubt.”

An expression of distaste passed over Therissa’s countenance. “A terrible thing to do to such an honorable man.”

Honorable man.
Despite how terrible things were between us, I knew he was a man of high principles, which was why I had gone to him the previous night, hoping his true nature would win out over the advice of his
visanis
. “Yes, it was…but she paid the price for it.”

“True. Although I cannot say she was alone in her perfidy. Amael Kel-Alisaad must take his own share of the blame, for I cannot understand how a man could stoop so low as to seduce his own brother’s wife.” She hesitated before adding, “That is, after what Aldul told me, I have something of an idea
why
Amael would do it, although that does not excuse his actions.”

“Was not Hezia’s surpassing beauty enough?” I asked wryly.

“I think Amael would have done the same, even if she were plain. Servants are not supposed to speak ill of their betters, but they see much. Aldul says that everyone could tell how Amael put on a good show, saying he was glad that he was the younger child so he would not have the burden of being Hierarch. But no one was much taken in. He was jealous of his brother’s position, and so sought to wound him in the one way that would hurt him the most.”

Hearing this, much of my present anger toward Besh seemed to ebb away. Poor man, it was not his fault that he had been born first. True, I was a daughter, and therefore had always known that I could never inherit the throne that was my brother’s birthright, but even so, I did not think I would have resented him for it, even if I had been born a boy. What would it have been like, to have a brother who was a rival, rather than the good friend I counted my own dear Torric?

“You see, then,” Therissa said, her tone very gentle, and I nodded.

“This makes me ache for him even more,” I replied. “But I begin to understand. I will — I will try to be more patient, and can only hope that he will forgive my impetuosity last night.”

Something in my tone must have alerted her that I was speaking of something more than merely escaping my room by way of the window and stealing into my husband’s chambers in the middle of the night. One eyebrow went up, even as her head tilted to one side, and she said, “Precisely how impetuous were you, my lady?”

Hot blood surged to my cheeks. “Very, I am afraid. I am not — not normally that forward, but I was feeling so desperate — ”

“That is all you have to say,” she told me, raising a hand. “I will not pry the details from you. Perhaps he was not as put off as you might believe. And perhaps you gave him something to think about.”

Oh, that I most assuredly did. Whether it would change anything, I could not begin to guess.

D
inner that evening
was more than a little strained. I made sure that I had been arrayed in some of my very best, although the guests were merely the normal round of princes and courtiers and their wives, with no one of any particular note. And I also made certain that I put on my most serene and dignified aspect, so as to assist in erasing Besh’s memory of his wife as a wild-eyed woman who had stolen into his apartments in the dead hours of the night and then flung herself at him with no more discretion than a harlot from the streets.

Oh, damn. When I thought of it that way, I was sure he would never, ever forget.

All I could do was act as if it had never happened. And because I was so calm and polite, discussing only subjects that could not rouse the slightest bit of controversy, such as the weather and the new flowers I had spied a veritable army of gardeners setting out in the courtyard, Besh did seem to relax slightly, whereas before he had been tense, the set of his jaw so stiff I wondered how he could force his mouth open enough to accept a bite of food.

But even with all that, as the meal ended, he turned to me and said, “My lady wife, I fear that I must once again have the guards escort you to your rooms, as I have some business to manage this evening.”

Perhaps a few days ago I would have protested. My heart thumped painfully in my breast, but I would not let him see how much it hurt me that he had apparently abandoned the little courtesy I had come to look forward to at the end of each day. I inclined my head, said, “Of course, my husband,” and rose from my seat so the guards might take their positions around me and see that I was returned to my chambers with no mishap.

That night I was glad of the maids clustering around me to divest me of my jewels and clothing. Therissa stood off to one side, expression both sad and knowing. We had only been in one another’s company for a few days, but clearly she had already mastered the art of reading my expressions, and so she could see things had not gone well.

And although I attempted to tell myself that this was only one night out of many, that I could not predict what Besh would do based on his actions tonight, somehow my heart knew things had changed. In attempting to close the distance between us, I had only made it that much greater.

T
wo days
after I had gone to Besh to beg him to investigate the matter further, the prisoner I had been trying to save was executed in front of the palace — in the same spot where Hezia had lost her own life, according to Therissa, who was now in touch with the palace gossip in a way I guessed the real Miram had never been.

I did not attend the execution, of course. No, my husband would not ask such a thing of me, and at any rate, apparently it was not the custom to subject the delicate eyes of the Hiereine to such a spectacle. Neither did he inform me of his decision before having the sentence carried out. Whether he had kept it from me to avoid another argument, or because he did not think it necessary to consult with me on matters of state, I did not know. Not that it mattered one way or another. What were our petty arguments, when an innocent man would be losing his very life?

And even though I tried to tell myself I did not know for certain he was innocent, I could not make myself believe that. Therissa had made another foray into the dungeons disguised as her little bantam rooster of a lieutenant, and could bring nothing back to change my mind, telling me that until the very moment he was led out of his cell to face his own death, he continued to protest his innocence. From what Therissa had been able to find out, he was the younger brother of an ironmonger, certainly not the type to foment rebellion or seek the death of his monarch. On the surface, it seemed clear that he did not have the resources to hire a squad of mounted assassins such as the ones who had attacked us in the desert. But there must have been some convincing evidence, something that Tel-Karinoor’s agents had discovered to point at this man above all others as the ringleader.

What that evidence possibly could have been, I had no idea.

In the end it did not matter, for the executioner took his head under the merciless white-hot rays of Keshiaar’s springtime sun, and everyone went away, satisfied that justice had been done. The undercurrent of tension I had sensed among the members of the court seemed to have disappeared as well, like poison drained from a festering wound. Now their Hierarch was safe, after all. True, some believed the executed man had associates yet in hiding, as not all of the men who had assailed our camp had been killed that night. Even so, with their leader dead, they most likely did not pose much of a threat.

This was the conversation that swirled around the palace…or at least the conversation as Therissa reported it to me. No one else would speak freely of such things in my presence. Oddly, though, my three maids did not seem to think it amiss that “Miram” and I would have such discussions. Perhaps that was how it had always been here, with the Hiereine isolated from the actual ruling of the kingdom, and her chatelaine being the one to keep her informed. I could not know for sure, as Besh’s mother had died when he was only a few days old, and Aldul, the under-cook besotted with Miram, was not old enough to have been alive when the previous Hierarch and his consort reigned.

Once again the days began to slip past, each of such a weary sameness that I hardly bothered to glance at the calendar I had brought with me. Besh treated me with a fragile courtesy that made my heart ache a little more each day, and not once since my ill-fated expedition to his chambers had he escorted me from dinner. Neither had he invited me back to his observatory, even though the clouds of winter and early spring had now quite disappeared.

And I awoke one morning, feeling the heat of the day already seeping through the latticed shutters, and realized I had been here an entire year.

One year. When I had come here late last Averil, I had thought…what? That Besh and I would be experiencing the kind of matrimonial bliss I had seen in my own brother and his wife? That perhaps I would already have given him an heir, or at the very least would be carrying his child?

Yes, I had thought all those things. And not a one of them had turned out to be true.

I sat up in bed and pushed back my covers. They were far too hot now; I would have to ask Therissa to bring me the lighter coverlet of thin embroidered silk that topped my bed during the summer months.

The memory of my previous summer here came to me then…the smothering heat, the endless, weary waiting for the sun to finally dip down below the horizon. At least then I had had my visits to Besh’s observatory to break up the monotony of those days, but now, I realized, I had no such pleasant diversions to occupy me.

I did not have him, nor even the spurious comfort of his company.

I was the Hiereine of Keshiaar, and I had nothing.

Tears came to my eyes then. I attempted to blink them back, but there were so many of them, rising from some dark place in my soul, the only free-flowing water in a thousand miles.

Then I heard the rustle of cloth, and a swirl of jasmine-scented perfume, and Therissa’s arms were around me. “There, there,” she soothed, stroking my tumbled hair. “I know it’s difficult, but you mustn’t give up. You mustn’t.”

“Why not?” I raged, lifting my tear-soaked face from her shoulder. “It has been a year, Therissa. A
year
. If Besh truly wanted me, he would have made me his wife in truth by now. Whatever you saw in him, you must have misjudged. He cannot bring himself to care for me, not even a little bit. Indeed,” I added, choking back a bitter laugh, “perhaps I should be glad he is a man of such scruples. Most men in his position would have bedded me by now, whether or not there was any love involved.”

She did not pretend to be shocked, but only said, “I cannot begin to imagine how trying all this must be for you. In truth, if I were a bolder woman, I would go up to him and give him a good sound shaking. Perhaps that would at last knock some sense into him.”

“I doubt it. Such behavior would only get you a cell in the dungeons, I fear.” I wiped my eyes, drew in a deep, shuddering breath. “Perhaps I should ask him for a divorce.”

That remark did make her widen her eyes, and she said, “My lady, you are distraught. Such things are very rare, even in Sirlende, and the practice does not exist at all here in Keshiaar. When you are married in the eyes of God, you are married forever.”

“So I am bound to a loveless marriage no matter what I do?”

She did not answer, but only cast her gaze downward at the rug beneath her feet.

Her silence was more painful than any words of hers could have been. Overcome, I pushed my way off the bed and went to the window, then looked down at the stolid forms of the guards standing some twenty feet below. They might have been the same men who were there the morning before, or a new group. From this angle, I could not determine any great difference between them.

The very sight of them made the angry heat rise up in me even higher, and I whirled back toward Therissa, saying, “And I am a prisoner in this very palace that is supposed to be mine! Oh, the accommodations are more luxurious, but even so, I have no more freedom than that poor wretch Besh had executed all those weeks ago. Indeed, perhaps I should ask him to lock me up in the dungeons. At least that way my status will be clear.”

She stood up, taking a few hesitant steps toward me. “Lyarris, do not say such things. It must be difficult to remain here, to not have even the limited freedoms you enjoyed as Crown Princess back in Sirlende. But Keshiaar is a very different place — ”

“Do you not think that I know that?” I demanded. “And do not tell me how difficult it must be, not when you have the freedom to come and go as you like, putting on different faces and personas as needed. You may go anywhere you like, while — ”

And there I broke off, for a notion had occurred to me, one so simple I wondered why I had not thought of it before.

“What is it?” Therissa inquired, although the expression of worry that passed over her face told me she had begun to guess what was in my mind.

“You did as much for Ashara, and so I am asking you to do the same for me — or very close to it. I want you to take on my semblance, and cast a spell so I look like Miram, and that way I can get out and away from here, and breathe in air that is not bounded by gates and walls.”

“My lady, no — ”

“Are you refusing me in this?” I asked, in what I hoped were my most queenly tones.

Her fingers knotted in the pale fabric of the long over-tunic she wore. “Please, think of what you are asking — the dangers — ”

“What dangers?” I scoffed. “Is Tir el-Alisaad such a dangerous place that a woman may not go to the bazaar to shop, or merely walk its streets?”

“It is not that it is dangerous,” she replied quietly. “But it is not the custom for a woman to go about alone in the city. When I go to the bazaar, I have two guards with me. So you would not be as free as you might think.”

“But I would still be able to escape this wretched palace, would I not?”

A long hesitation. Then she said, reluctance clear in every word, “Yes, you would. I go often to the bazaar, to purchase spices for the sachets with which I scent your wardrobe, or to acquire the compounds used to make the rouge for your lips and the kohl for your eyes. So that sort of an expedition would not seem at all out of the ordinary.”

“Well, then,” I said in some triumph. Truly, in that moment even going to purchase a few spices and powders sounded wholly exotic to me, as I had not been outside the palace gates since that ill-fated journey to watch the conjunction of the planets. And I had gotten only the briefest glimpse of the capital city when I was first brought here. I had seen nothing when we ventured forth to view the planets in the deep desert, for the palace was built on the extreme eastern edge of the city, and we went out the east gate when we left, our departure unobserved by anyone save a few guards.

That realization shook me somewhat, for it was not as if we had ridden in state through the streets of the capital, letting everyone know that the Hierarch and his consort had ventured forth from the safety of their palace. True, it was not a complete secret, and members of the household knew of it, as they were the ones who had helped to prepare our horses and packed our supplies and so forth. Even so, I had to wonder how the man who had been executed had known where we were going and where we would be.

“What is it?” Therissa asked, apparently seeing my brows pull together in puzzlement.

“Nothing,” I replied. I would have to ponder that matter later. Now, I could only focus on my desire to be away from these rooms, whose walls seemed to be closing in on me more with every day that passed. It was true that my escape would be a short one, but it would be enough. And if all was successful, then there was no reason why we could not make the exchange again in a few days or weeks, when once again I felt the need to flee my apartments. “Let us do it this morning, after I have broken my fast. It will be warm, but not so hot as I know it will be later in the day, and that way I will be able to enjoy the expedition all the better.”

Her expression was a study in doubt. “My lady, please think on this some more —”

“I have thought on it. As you said, no one will think anything strange of you going out to purchase a few items for the Hiereine. And I know you have managed to bespell your own face and that of another at the same time, so do not tell me you cannot do it.”

“I
can
do it,” she began. “However, this is somewhat different from the enchantment I used on Ashara. I only had to enchant her clothing and her hair. I did not have to change her face or body, or the way she walked and talked. I will have to do all these for you at the same time I am working such an alteration on myself, and that is much more difficult.”

Since she had already told me she could manage the thing, I did not let her last remark dissuade me. “But it is not impossible.”

“No, not impossible.” She paused. “But because it will be so much more of a strain on me, you will have to go and return promptly. I was able to keep the spell going on Ashara for hours and hours because I did not have to alter as much of her person. This time, do not go out for more than an hour and a half.”

“That little?” Already I began to feel some of my enthusiasm dampen. How much could I see of the city in an hour and a half?

“Yes,” she replied. “For you will need some time after you return to the palace to come here to your apartments and change places with me. The city is large, and the bazaar a good fifteen-minute walk from here. Do not think you will be carried there in luxury in a sedan chair. Miram is a servant, and is expected to walk.”

“Good,” I said. “For being jostled around in a sedan chair in this heat makes me quite sick to my stomach. I look forward to walking.”

Her mouth quirked at that. “You may change your mind, after you have spent a few minutes traversing the streets of Tir el-Alisaad.”

A
nd she turned
out to be correct in that. Oh, it was quite thrilling to have her cast the spell on me while Lila and Marsali and Alina were occupied with scrubbing down the bath chamber, and both thrilling and odd to watch Therissa transform herself into me, right down to the ruby ring I wore on my right hand. It was so very different from gazing into a mirror; I had thought I knew well enough what I looked like, but as I stared at her, I noted the quizzical lift to the eyebrows, a certain sadness in the dark eyes. Was that how I appeared to everyone else, or were some of Therissa’s own expressions showing on my features?

I could not say for certain, but clearly the illusion had been well cast, for as I left my bedchamber, I nearly bumped into Lila, who had a bucket full of wet rags in one hand.

“Pardon, honored one!” she gasped.

For a second or two, I wondered why she had addressed me in such a fashion, as the term was never applied to a member of the aristocracy, but only a social better in one of the lower classes. Then I remembered. I wore Miram’s face, and so of course Lila would never say “my lady” or “Your Majesty” to me.

“Watch where you are going!” I told her, hoping I had injected enough affronted dignity into the rebuke.

She’d bobbed a curtsey and fled, while I made my way through the halls of the palace, following Therissa’s instructions as to where the guards would wait to take her on one of her errands. Sure enough, two of them were standing near an exit off the kitchens, neither of them appearing too happy to be sent forth to play nursemaid to the Hiereine’s chatelaine.