One to Love (One to Hold #4) (5 page)

My mouth dropped open, and Melissa burst out laughing. “I got the better end of that deal!”

Glancing around the room, I couldn’t help agreeing with her. The place was pretty empty, and it didn’t look to be filling up anytime soon. Even less encouraging, I was pretty sure the elderly couple in the back corner ordered waffles.

“Get talking, Jones,” Elaine continued. “We’ll figure out the guy situation when the lights go down.”

“Define adult conversation.” Melissa sipped her wine. “Vajazzling? Penis rings? Prince Alberts?”

“I knew a guy with a Prince Albert.” I lifted my drink as Elaine bounced in the seat beside me.

“
Now
we’re having a girls’ night! What did it feel like?”

She caught me mid-sip, and I almost snorted vodka up my nose. “It was my boss,” I coughed, and her eyes grew wider. “No! I mean, I didn’t see it or sleep with him or anything. Carl at the tattoo place was licensed to do piercings. I knew he had one.”

“What a letdown that story was!” Elaine flopped back against the booth and frowned at me before licking the salt off her glass. “I would love to try sex with metal.”

“If you convince Patrick to impale his peen, I’ll... I’ll—”

“Don’t say anything too outrageous.” Elaine took a big gulp of margarita.

“Get him convinced, and I’ll figure out something,” her friend finished.

I attempted not to snarfle as I sipped my cosmo. The waiter appeared, and Elaine waved her finger in a circle over our heads. “Another round for the table!” Then she turned back to her friend, green eyes narrowed. “You’d better think fast, Jones. Patrick is refreshingly open-minded. As opposed to some people I know.”

“I know you’re not talking about Derek.” Melissa sipped her wine, eyebrows raised. “There is nothing wrong with my man.”

I could believe that. Elaine gulped the last of her margarita. “You know who I’m talking about, and he isn’t Derek.”

“It takes a really long time to heal,” I jumped in.

“How long are we talking?” Elaine rested her head on her hand as the waiter placed drinks in front of all of us.

I lifted mine and took another sip, shaking my head. “Depends, but at least two months.”

“Two months!” She flopped back against the booth again. “Kenny, you are officially the little black cloud at the party.”

My face fell, but Melissa laughed. “You are such a pill! She can’t help it if you’re a nympho.”

“My friend Mariska would love this place,” I tried, going for a more optimistic topic. “I bet it gets really busy... at some point.”

Melissa laughed more and rested her forehead on her hand. “I’m sorry,” she said with a sniff. “It really doesn’t.”

Elaine’s eyes narrowed, and she turned to me. “Hey! Are you still doing tattoos?”

“Oh, yes!” Her friend sat up. “I would love to get something with Derek and Dex’s names or birthdates. Help me think of something.”

Tracing my finger around the rim of my glass, I thought of last night. “I’ve still got my license, but I don’t have the equipment. ”

“Well, shit.” Melissa frowned. “I loved what you did with Patrick’s ink.”

I smiled up at her. Melissa was really nice to me, but I’d never been certain of Elaine’s feelings. She seemed okay with Patrick’s and my past, but it was hard to tell.

“You have mine.” Melissa slid her second wine glass across the table. “I’m the designated driver, and with Dex nursing, I—”

“Baby talk!” Elaine held up a hand then she leaned into my ear. “Don’t worry. Once the band starts, they’ll dim the lights and this place will get crazy. Ish.”

My eyes drifted to the elderly couple now eating waffles in the back corner. “I can’t wait.”

At that moment Elaine squealed, “Ow!” and I almost spilled my cosmo. “That’s my leg, thanks!”

Melissa’s eyes were round, and she shot forward, leaning against the table, her mouth partially covered with her hand. “Brrnnn. Twrrrf o’crock.”

“What?” Elaine’s voice was too loud, but it was too late.

A tall, nice-looking guy with brown hair and eyes stopped at our booth, and her body went rigid. Standing next to him was a shorter fellow with floppy brown hair and dark eyes that drifted over each of us, pausing on me. He wore a green tee, and I could see a little ink peeking from under both shirtsleeves.
Interesting
.

“Hi, Elaine.” The tall guy said. “You look great as always.”

Melissa’s eyes were on her wine glass, and she fiddled her fingers along the base. She seemed to be holding her breath, which made the muscles in my stomach clench uncomfortably.
Why were they both freaking out?

“Hello, Brian.” Elaine’s whole demeanor had changed, and her voice was cool and controlled. “I hope you’re not planning on causing another scene.”

“I said I was sorry for that.” Brian’s eyes went from us to sweeping the room. “I was a little drunk, but I’ve accepted that you’ve moved on... still?”

“That’s right. I have.” Elaine was ticked, but when I glanced at the shorter guy again, he was smiling at me. He was cute, so I gave him a little smile back.

“This is my cousin Gabe. He’s new in town and wanted to come over and say Hi. He works at the body shop with Ed.”

Melissa’s chin snapped up, and she seemed to be inspired. “Hi, Gabe, I’m Melissa. You know Elaine, I’m sure, and this is our friend Kenny.”

“Hi, Kenny.” His tenor voice was shy, which I decided was cute. A tatted-up shy guy was something new to me.

Smiling, I pushed a strand of purple behind my ear. “Hi.”

Elaine’s expression changed as well, and whatever issue she had with Brian was forgotten. As if on cue, a tall, slender girl with gorgeous, spiraled black hair and bohemian clothes took the stage followed by two guys similarly dressed and carrying guitars. The lights dimmed, and the girl started singing in a voice like silk. Elaine jumped out of the booth, grabbing my arm and pulling me right behind her.

“Come on, Gabe!” she shouted over the music. “Let’s dance!”

Gabe appeared as stunned as his cousin, and I couldn’t help laughing—the two cosmopolitans helped. Perhaps my brain was taking the night off? I followed Elaine out to the floor, where she started twisting her hips to the sultry rhythm. Her silky, blonde hair swished over her shoulders, and Melissa shook her head, smiling into her wine glass and keeping her seat.

I followed Elaine’s lead, swaying to the beat of the exotic music. The song was something about meeting a guy in the desert, and it didn’t take long for Gabe to come up behind me and hold my waist as we moved together, facing the band.

He was shorter than most guys I knew, and in my purple stacks, his mouth was right at my ear when he spoke. “I like your hair.”

The vibration of his voice tingled my skin, and I turned to face him. His hands were still on my waist, so I put mine on his shoulders and studied his dark eyes, blinking to mine and occasionally catching the colorful lights from the stage.

“Thanks,” I said and smiled.

We couldn’t really talk over the music, so we just danced. I thought about what Mrs. Clarkson said about my heart versus my head. I thought about my conversation with Patrick today and my feelings last night with the box. I thought about my feelings right this minute, and I realized I didn’t feel a thing—no guilt, no fear. Sorry, Gabe, still no attraction, but it didn’t matter. It was over! I wanted to laugh and spin around. I was free!

Tonight, I wasn’t Blake’s widow or the runaway who’d taken a chance on love and lost. Or even the careless dropout who’d gotten drunk and pregnant with a guy she didn’t love. I was just a girl in a silly club dancing with a cute, shy, inked-up mechanic.

The song changed to a faster tempo, and everyone started jumping around us. Brian walked up and tried to dance with Elaine, but she left the floor, going back to where Melissa sat. I didn’t care, I wanted to jump around, too. It was like a celebration in a way. I was enjoying myself, and I wasn’t buried in an avalanche of guilt. I was dancing again, and I loved it.

Gabe’s smile grew bigger, and we twisted around in front of each other, occasionally bumping hips. At some point, he caught my wrist and pulled me closer.

“Would you go out with me Friday?” His dark eyes glowed with interest, and I hated what I had to tell him—he’d done such a great job losing his shyness.

I made a wistful face. “I’m so sorry, Gabe, I live in Bayville.”

His brow creased. “What?” He shouted over the music.

“Bayville!” I said louder in his ear. “It’s in New Jersey. I’m only visiting.”

Leaning back, our eyes caught, and the side of his mouth went down. I shrugged and then leaned forward again. “But you’re really cute. Thanks for dancing with me.”

The song was ending, and he caught my chin before I pulled away. “You’re really beautiful. Let me know next time you’re in town.”

Chewing my lip, I smiled and agreed before taking off back to our booth.

Elaine was swaying in her seat, and Melissa slid toward me. “He was really cute.”

I picked up my drink and polished off the last few sips, my whole body buzzing with happiness. “He really was. Too bad I’m heading home in the morning.”

We stayed an hour longer, dancing occasionally; Elaine and I having one drink more until Melissa called it. Her blue eyes were tired, and I remembered how the early days with babies were—exhausting.

I grabbed my bag just as Elaine swerved up with her margarita. “We’ve got to get you laid! What happened to Sage?”

I snorted then, and Melissa shouted over the music. “Gabe! And it’s time to head home.”

“What did I say?” Elaine looked at me confused.

“Sage,” I said, unable to stop laughing. I couldn’t help it—I was buzzed and giddy.

She laughed, too. “That’s not even close!”

Melissa gave us a push, and we made our way to the exit. An overwhelming feeling of freedom had me floating on air, and I held Elaine’s arm. “Thank you.” I could see her confused expression as I continued. “For being so cool about everything and so sweet to Lane and for taking me out. It’s been an amazing night.”

She shrugged, looking at her feet as we walked. “I love Lane. He’s Patrick’s baby boy.”

“I know, and it’s so cool. You’ve never been angry with me or resentful.”

Her lips tightened. “I was resentful. And pretty angry with you, too.”

I stopped walking, the high I’d just been on plunging straight into the gravel. She continued a few steps toward the car and then stopped when she realized I wasn’t with her.

Melissa cleared her throat softly, but didn’t say anything. I got the feeling she was waiting to see what might happen next.

“I-I’m so sorry.” I was such an idiot. Of course she hated me—I’d had Patrick’s baby and nearly broken them up. Now I had the nerve to show up unexpectedly at her house.

But she wasn’t finished. “Then after Lane was born, and you asked me to keep him, it was like everything changed.”

I studied her face, waiting, unsure what to say.

Her brow relaxed, and a tiny smile appeared. “Lane is the sweetest little thing, and he looks so much like Patrick. How could I not love him? It’s still hard sometimes, but I know Patrick loves me.”

“I would never come between you and Patrick.” I wanted to cry, and I meant every word. “I don’t feel that way towards him. I don’t know why, but I don’t.”

She exhaled a laugh. “I believe you. I can’t say I understand you, but everything about Patrick says he loves me. I love him, and I love Lane.”

Melissa suddenly charged forward, catching us both in a hug. “Oh, you two!” She cried. “It’s so good to clear the air finally!”

The
finally
made my face burn with shame. I’d been so self-absorbed. “I’m so sorry, Elaine. I won’t come here ever again without your permission, and I—”

“Stop it!” Elaine shook her head and put her arm over my shoulder. “That would be terrible for Lane, and like I said, it’s getting better all the time.”

My chin dropped, but she gave me a little squeeze. “Friends?”

“Of course!”

The rest of the way back, the windows were down and the music up. Melissa and Elaine discussed the appearance and disappearance of Brian, who apparently was Elaine’s ex-boyfriend and lost his shit when she started dating Patrick. Mel dropped us at the condo, promising to bring Elaine’s car back tomorrow, and we whispered goodnight before I slipped quietly into Lane’s room, over to where he slept sideways in his crib.

Resting my chin on the back of my hand, I reached down and slid a lock of soft blond hair off his little forehead. He sat up at once, causing me to jump, but his eyes were still closed. With an exhaled laugh, I gathered him into my arms, going to the small bed on the other side of the room and crawling beneath the sheets with him in my arms. Three breaths of snuggly, baby scent, and my body relaxed completely into sleep.

––––––––

B
reakers crashed on the sandy shore, and every day the air grew a little cooler. The one-room studio apartment I was able to afford had the sole perk of being close to the beach. Make that two perks—the double bed was comfortable.

Inside, a track with hooks ran along the ceiling, so I hung a curtain to separate the sleeping half from the living half of the square I now called home. At two-fifty a month, I couldn’t complain, and I was used to smaller quarters these days.

Walking along the shore before work, I thought of Doc’s advice to take it one day at a time. It was a good system, even if I wasn’t an alcoholic. No pressure, positive. My hands were shoved in the pockets of the same jeans I’d worn since I arrived in Bayville. Next payday, I’d have to buy another pair. Then I’d have the start of a wardrobe.

For now, I stood watching the waves hit the shore with all their force. The strike sent my mind reeling into the past, to the few bright years of luxury, the days when I was on top. As a rising star, I had the best rooms at every hotel, a different girl in every city, and designers sent me clothes for free. All they wanted was for me to walk around wearing them.

A low burning in the pit of my stomach brought me back to reality. Those days were long gone. I was living in the real world now, and I had to get used to it. I repeated my personal mantra:
This is my life now.