One True Love (16 page)

“Three letters now.” Today had been the first week that she hadn't received his correspondence.

“Sounds like a smitten man to me.”

“Yes.” Copper sighed. “But with whom?”

“Oh, silly, with you. I don't know who this mysterious woman is that he writes to, but surely Josh isn't one to trifle with a woman's affections. There could be all kinds of reasons that he writes another woman. Why didn't you press him for an answer?”

“I couldn't. We haven't openly expressed our personal feelings. I would have been totally out of place.”

“I would have pestered him until he told me.”

“You're different than me.”

“Not that different. If Eli were writing to another woman, that would be the first question on my lips.”

“And he wouldn't have told you. You could barely get him to look your way not so long ago.”

Grinning, Audrey rethreaded a needle. “But eventually I did, didn't I?”

“Granted.”

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

“Clichés? Then I must say: You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink.”

“Love and hate are two horns on the same goat.”

“All's fair in love and war.”

“Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

“Enough!” Copper surrendered. “I get the point.”

“Good. So?”

“So what?”

“Are you going to ask him who this baffling woman is?”

“And how would I do that? I can't answer his letters because I don't have anywhere to send mail.”

“He intends to come back to Thunder Ridge, doesn't he?”

Copper's thoughts skipped back to their last conversation.
I will be back, Copper.
“He said that he would.”

Audrey looked up. “You doubt his word?”

“He's never given me any reason to distrust him.”

“He'll be back.”

Perhaps. Copper wanted to believe that he would, but so much could change in so short a period of time. She could personally testify to that.

“I wish I had your optimism.”

“Admittedly, you have to work on confidence. When I was pursuing Eli I despaired more than once that he would never love anyone but Genevieve. But now he loves me. Willow
thought she was destined to marry Silas Sterling, and instead the Lord sent her straight into Tucker Gray's arms. Now Silas has passed, and Willow, once she recuperates from this head injury, will have Tucker's babies, and the circle of life will go on.”

Life had worked out so smoothly for Willow and Audrey. Copper had to believe that the good Lord had a surprise in store for her. When the bandage came off she would be able to walk across the floor even and steady. By the time Josh came back—and he would come back, she wouldn't permit herself to think otherwise—she would be whole again. They could pick up their relationship, and in a few months she might be looking for suitable wedding attire. She would teach school next year—or by then she and Josh might be ready to start a family.

Surprising how well this confidence thing worked.

“Oh, did I mention that we got another letter from Ester? She rambles on so! I gather she's getting senile. She's doing well in Kansas, though. If I weren't getting married I think I would make the trip there this summer and visit with her while she still has her mind.”

Copper's thoughts skipped to the older woman from Timber Creek who had fought harder than any man. “She must be nearing fifty.” Copper paused. “Aunt Nancy lives in Ellsworth, not far from where Ester settled. I must remember to write and tell her to seek Ester out. They would enjoy each other's friendship.”

“Mmm. They are about the same age, aren't they?”

“No! Aunt Nancy is nearing seventy, to be certain. She's much older than Ester.”

Resting her sewing in her lap, Audrey smiled. “Ellsworth. I hear it's a rowdy cattle town.”

Audrey nodded. “They have a large rail stockyard there.”

Leaning back, Copper closed her eyes. “Maybe when I get better I'll pay both Aunt Nancy and Ester a visit.”

“Now what kind of talk is that? By then Josh will be back, and you'll be planning your own wedding.”

“Perhaps.”

Then again, Copper wasn't going to count chickens before they hatched. This was the first week she hadn't received Josh's letter. She'd be tempted to blame bad weather but Adele and Sadie had sent their posts. Weather had not kept Mike from the nearest post office.

But she wasn't going to let a week without letters from Josh dash her hopes.

What was a week other than seven long days?

Most likely Susan hadn't heard from him either.

“N
ow Miss Wilson, I wouldn't read anything worrisome into this. That road to Colorado Springs is long and unpredictable. This time of year they could have run into anything.” It was the fourth week Henry Martin had stood empty-handed in Copper's bedroom doorway. Even Sadie's and Adele's letters had stopped coming.

“It's been so long, Henry.”

“I know, and the letters were coming as predictable as frost, but don't you be working yourself into a lather because you haven't heard from any of them for a while.”

She bet Susan had heard from him.

Copper Wilson! You're turning as sour as a green apple
. Thank the good Lord, the long weeks had passed and today the bandage came off and she could resume normalcy.

“Thank you, Henry. You've been so good to come over every week.”

Henry turned to leave, then turned back. “Now I don't
want you fretting about Indians. That wagon train that was waylaid a while back couldn't have been Redlin's unless the weather forced him take a different route.”

Copper slowly lifted her eyes. “A wagon train was attacked?”

“Shore—you've heard the…” He paused, eyes shifting uncomfortably.

“I've heard nothing. I live in this room.”

“Oh. Well, nothing to break a sweat over. There was a small article in the
Post
. Just happened to notice it whilst I was delivering the paper to the judge's house. Probably nothing to it. You know how that sort of thing gets out of hand.”

Nausea rose to the back of her throat. Willow and Audrey had withheld the paper from her. Josh? Was that why his letters had stopped coming?

No. They‘d met with bad weather and had to hole up somewhere. He was fine. Just fine. Ornery as ever.

Dr. Dyson appeared in the doorway. “Good morning, Copper.” He nodded to the postmaster. “Henry.”

“Mornin', Doc!” Henry stepped out of the way. “Hear this is the big day.”

Copper jerked back to the present. The bandage. In minutes now she would know her fate. That was all she'd been able to think about the past few days until now, until Henry mentioned that newspaper article.

“How old is the paper, Henry?”

“Beg pardon?”

“The paper with the article you mentioned.”

He scratched his head. “Two—three weeks. But you cain't read nothing into that.”

Oh, but she could. And she did. What else could account
for the sudden silence? The lack of letters? Certainly there was a multitude of possible reasons, but at the moment the most obvious and devastating one was all she could think of.

Audrey and Willow appeared, Willow winded from climbing three flights of stairs. Audrey sat her friend down in the bedside chair and then turned to Copper. “Well, this is the hour we've all been waiting and praying for.”

“Where's the last
Post
?”

Willow glanced at Audrey. “Why…I'm not certain. Probably around here somewhere. Why do you ask?”

“I want to see it.”

“Oh…I believe I threw the paper out when I was cleaning earlier this week,” Audrey said. “I'm sorry. I thought you'd seen it.”

Copper couldn't get Henry's dire words out of her mind. Had Josh been massacred? Was he now lying in an unmarked grave, dug by a passing stranger? Or not in a grave at all? A sudden chill swept her.

Dr. Dyson patted her hand. “The guessing will be over in a minute.”

Copper could barely voice her turbulent thoughts. “I'm not concerned about the ankle…it's Josh. And Adele…Sadie.”

“What about Josh?”

“Henry said there'd been another massacre.”

Audrey caught her hand, eyeing Henry with a censuring look. “There was a small piece in the
Post
. It didn't identify the traveling parties and we didn't tell you because everyone feels certain that it couldn't have been Redlin's train. The route wouldn't have been one Redlin would have taken, not this time of the year.”

Copper searched her friend's eyes looking for any sign of honest certainty. “Why are you so convinced? Worsening weather could have made him take a different direction. You know Josh; he does what he feels best for the travelers.”

“The train would have been off course by at least twenty miles. You know Josh runs a tight ship.”

“When he must. But he would be the first to change course if he felt the planned route posed danger.”

“Still,” Dr. Dyson interrupted, “let's not borrow trouble; today has enough of its own.” He set his instrument bag on the bedside table. “Now then. Let's see if we can find some good news this morning.”

A hush fell over the gathering as the doctor took a pair of small scissors and snipped the end of the bandage and then slowly unwound the cloth as the women and Henry looked on.

Copper closed both eyes.
God, a limp is nothing if only you have spared Josh's life.

Bargaining with God? It was highly unlikely that he would negotiate, but she would fall to her knees and plead if it would help. She could, and would, accept anything if Redlin was beside her.

The bandage fell away and eyes fastened on the small ankle with a large angry scar running the length of the bone.

“In time the scar will lose its redness,” the doctor said. “The incision looks clean and appears to be healing suitably.”

Earlier his words would have produced euphoria but all Copper could think about was Josh. “The surgery was successful?”

“We'll know soon enough.” He eased her to a sitting position. “I want you stand up.”

“Stand up?”

“Put your weight on both ankles.”

Goose bumps stood out on her arms. It had been so long since she'd walked, truly walked, unhampered by pain.

The doctor gently helped her off the mattress.

“Careful,” Willow whispered.

“Don't overdo,” Audrey echoed.

Copper's bare feet touched the icy floor. Suddenly prudence swept her. What if the injured ankle wouldn't hold her? What if she fell and hurt it a third time? Indecision flashed through her mind.

“It's okay,” Dyson urged. “The ankle is tender. There'll still be some pain, but the bone is sufficiently on the mend.”

Taking a deep breath, Copper straightened and took a cautionary movement. Smiles broke out as she took a tentative step. Then suddenly her knees buckled.

The doctor caught her before she collapsed to the floor. Grave-faced, he helped her back to the bed. The room was so silent Copper could hear her uneven breath.

Tucking the sheet around her, Dyson said, “I'm sorry. The bone will continue to knit and get stronger, but I'm afraid my efforts were largely in vain.” His eyes met hers with compassion. “You will have a noticeable limp.”

Catching her breath, she bit back bitter tears.

Bending close, he whispered. “What I'm about to say will bring little solace, but I've reminded numerous men, boys really, on the battlefield that they needed to rejoice over what they still had, little though it may seem, and always remember the old Persian proverb that goes something like: ‘I met a man who cried because he had no shoes until one day he met a man who had no feet.' Life brings the cruelest
disappointments and setbacks, yet for every gift taken away a new one is given.”

Copper dabbed at the moisture running down her cheeks and then reached for his hand. “Do you honestly believe that, Doctor? Not so long ago I heard you railing against God about life's injustices. You demanded that we didn't speak of God in your presence. So I ask you again; do you really believe that there is a God-given purpose for every bad thing that happens in life?”

“A purpose, you ask.” His hold on her hand tightened. “If man has no function, life would be quite a meaningless farce, wouldn't it? I have yet to meet a mortal that could ever design all the intricate details of life. I fear that I often rail at God, but because of his grace he has seen fit to ignore my complaints. As to purpose, well, isn't that what life is? Humanity filling a purpose, both good and bad?”

Dabbing her nose, Copper whispered. “I'd trade knowing where Josh is, and if he's safe, for walking a mile on both feet.”

Squeezing her hand, the doctor rose. “I'm going to rebind the foot, but you're free to move about. Be very careful with that ankle for another month, and let the bones finish mending.”

Wordlessly, Copper sank back to the pillow.

 

Over the next month, short outings turned into brief walks, which evolved into longer excursions. In addition to self-indulgence, guilt started to creep into her thoughts. Audrey claimed that Eli could not spare sufficient time away from the mill, but Copper knew the couple delayed their wedding nuptials because of her. Audrey's distress shown in her eyes,
and Copper knew she'd never leave her in her time of need. Perhaps she encouraged Audrey's unfathomable loyalty; at this point she wasn't certain of anything but days of unending despair. She was literally awash in despondency, a state she both welcomed and despised.

The day arrived when Copper felt physically strong enough to tackle a full day's outing. Dressed warmly against a chilling wind, she held to Audrey's and Willow's protective arms. When alone, she needed a crutch, but she could do without it when she had a shoulder to lean on. Not a word had been sent by Josh, Adele, or Sadie. The only logical conclusion was one she couldn't bring herself to accept. But reality forced her to admit that Josh and her friends might be gone.

Shrugging free from the coddling, she straightened. “I can walk now, thank you.”

“We don't want you to fall and hurt yourself,” Willow rebuked.

“Then I should hold
your
arm because you're still weak as a kitten.”

“Not as a kitten,” Willow denounced. “Maybe a sizable tomcat, but not a helpless kitten.”

Copper hobbled on, determined for the first time to walk unaided. Days meant nothing. Outings meant nothing. Her life meant nothing. Why did God keep her around? She had no purpose or meaning, regardless of Dr. Dyson's theories. Josh was dead. Though she wouldn't permit herself to voice the thought, she knew.

She knew.

“Copper, it breaks my heart to see you so despondent.” Audrey sidestepped a pile of snow. “I know life hasn't been easy for you of late, but you mustn't lose hope.”

Copper turned to note Audrey's nice, easy gait. “Easy for some to say.”

Shaking her head, Audrey walked on. “You're hopelessly cranky. Why don't I have Tucker hitch up the buggy and we take a ride to Beeder's Cove? You can visit with the children. I know they must be concerned about your welfare, and you do need to pay Emily and Mackey's grandfather your respects and personally thank him for the excellent care he's provided you.”

“To no avail.”

“Please.” Audrey paused. “I won't claim that I know how you feel. I don't make light of the surgery's disappointing outcome or the sudden lack of correspondence from Josh. But you must pull out of this depression. You're a young woman with your future ahead of you. You mustn't sit down and wither away like a grape in the fall.”

Copper fixed her eyes on the path. “And what would you have me to do, Audrey? Rejoice that I walk like an ogre, that I've lost the only man on earth that…” Her voice cracked with emotion. She regained control. Bitterness engulfed her. “Perhaps I will purchase an imitation hand that looks like a pirate's hook and terrify the children in Thunder Ridge.”

“Now, now,” Willow scolded. “Enough dramatics. There are so many possible reasons why you haven't heard from Josh or Adele and Sadie, reasons too numerous to count. Let's not think the worst until we have certain reason to fear.”

“You know very well there's reason to ‘fear.'”

“Yes, I won't deny that my thoughts run much in the same vein as yours, but we don't know for sure.” She paused and turned Copper to face her. “We
don't
know. If Josh were
standing here he'd admonish you to have faith even though it is the size of a mustard seed.”

“Doesn't work. I ‘had faith.' I
prayed
long and hard that the surgery would be successful, and you see how that's turned out.”

The women fell silent as they continued through the cold. Finally Willow ventured, “Oh, there's Tucker. I think a visit to Beeder's Cove is just what we need.”

Shrugging, Copper paused. Where they went, or what they did, was inconsequential to her.

Tucker readily agreed to Willow's plan and shortly brought around a surrey hitched to a high-stepping mare. The women climbed aboard and wrapped themselves in warm blankets.

Tucker personally checked Willow's comfort and stole a long kiss before he handed her the reins. So lengthy that Copper looked away, the ache in her heart so deep she thought she'd welcome death.

Audrey's gaze wandered to the office, and seconds later Eli emerged. Bending close, he kissed her. “I hear you're going to Beeder's Cove?”

“Yes. Will you miss me?”

His gaze softened to one of a man completely smitten. “I'll tell you how much tonight at supper.”

Copper turned away. Oh how she despised her apathy. She was awash in overemotional self-pity. Somewhere in her unsettled mind she knew her emotional condition but was powerless to emerge from the storm. Not so long ago she would have had little patience for someone like her. Now she felt nothing.

With a flick of her wrists Willow started the horse toward Beeder's Cove. Copper tried to focus on anything but the
affectionate exchanges. She'd been mistaken. She did care where she went today. Why had she ever agreed to this inane trip?

Approaching hoofbeats caught her attention and she turned to see a rider coming up fast. Recognizing the rider she called, “Willow! Stop!”