One Way Love: Inexhaustible Grace for an Exhausted World (19 page)

If you’re a Christian, here’s the good news: Who you
really
are has nothing to do with you—how much you can accomplish, who you can become, your behavior (good or bad), your strengths, your weaknesses, your sordid past, your family background, your education, your looks, and so on. Your identity is firmly anchored in Christ’s accomplishment, not yours; his strength, not yours; his performance, not yours; his victory, not yours. Your identity is steadfastly established in his substitution, not your sin.

I know all of that might seem a bit technical and overly abstract, but it has been absolutely crucial for me. The distinction between who I am before God (a beloved child and saint) and what my life feels like here and now (a failing sinner) gives me both the assurance that I am loved and accepted by God, as well as the courage to be honest about my ongoing struggles and failures. In other words, I can live my life with hope and without hiding.

The late Brennan Manning put this better than I ever could when he wrote, “To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God’s grace means.… My deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and I have done nothing to earn it or deserve it.”
6
And elsewhere, “Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion.”
7
Amen!

CLOSING UP SHOP

I opened this chapter with a reflection on how getting older has dramatically changed the way I understand myself and my faith, especially how I relate, as an individual, to God. What better way to close it than with a comment on how we relate, as a body, to God in light of the incredibly good news that God has done for us—and continues to do for us—what we cannot do for ourselves. If we bring nothing to the table—if all is grace—then our collective hope and mission in life is as hopeful as it is radical. I’ll give Robert Capon the final inspiring word:

What role have I left for religion? None. And I have left none because the Gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ leaves none. Christianity is not a religion; it is the announcement of the end of religion.

Religion consists of all the things (believing, behaving, worshipping, sacrificing) the human race has ever thought it had to do to get right with God.… Everything religion tried (and failed) to do has been perfectly done, once and for all, by Jesus in his death and resurrection. For Christians, therefore, the entire religion shop has been closed, boarded up, and forgotten. The church is not in the religion business. It never has been and it never will be, in spite of all the ecclesiastical turkeys through two thousand years who have acted as if religion was their stock in trade. The church, instead, is in the Gospel-proclaiming business. It is not here to bring the world the bad news that God will think kindly about us only after we have gone through certain creedal, liturgical and ethical wickets; it is here to bring the world the Good News that “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for the ungodly.” It is here, in short, for no religious purpose at all, only to announce the Gospel of free grace.
8

Amen! I don’t know about you, but I feel a little less exhausted already. Probably because the Good News is a bit like this book. It is finished.

If you enjoyed
One Way Love
, tell others by writing a review. Go
here
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NOTES

ONE WAY LOVE

Published by David C Cook

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David C Cook U.K., Kingsway Communications

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The graphic circle C logo is a registered trademark of David C Cook.

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The website addresses recommended throughout this book are offered as a resource to you. These websites are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of David C Cook, nor do we vouch for their content.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (
ESV
®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked
NIV
are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked
KJV
are taken from the King James Version of the Bible. (Public Domain.)

LCCN 2013944266

ISBN 978-0-7814-0690-1

eISBN 978-0-7814-1089-2

© 2013 Tullian Tchividjian

Published in association with Yates & Yates,
www.yates2.com
.

The Team: Alex Field, Amy Konyndyk, Nick Lee, Tonya Osterhouse, Karen Athen

Cover Design: Amy Konyndyk

First Edition 2013

TULLIAN TCHIVIDJIAN
is the senior pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Fort Lauderdale, Florida; a lecturer at Knox Theological Seminary; the founder of Liberate; and a grandson of Billy and Ruth Graham. The author of numerous books, including Jesus + Nothing = Everything and Glorious Ruin, Tchividjian speaks at conferences around the world. He and his wife, Kim, have three children.

Visit
DCCeBooks.com
for more great reads.

What people are saying about …

ONE WAY LOVE

“I have been greatly encouraged by the emergence of a new generation of committed and articulate Christian leaders—and my grandson Tullian Tchividjian is certainly at the forefront of this development. His deep understanding of the Gospel and his unique ability to communicate its timeless truths with compassion and insight have already had a profound impact on countless men and women. May God use this book to expand your understanding of what Jesus Christ has already done for you.”

Billy Graham,
evangelist and author of
The Reason for My Hope

“I could not stop reading this book. I could not stop thinking about this book. I could not stop returning to this book. I could not stop mouthing yes, yes, yes over every page. Tullian writes with profound insight, humbling transparency, biblical fidelity,
and one surgically sharp pen that cuts away the infected areas and brings healing through the Word of Christ. Do not pass Go until you have read this book. It’s like getting your life on a one-way street to everything you ever hoped for.”

Ann Voskamp,
author of the
New York Times
bestseller
One Thousand Gifts

“Tullian goes straight to the heart of what is taking the heart out of people: an addiction to performance. Performancism equates value with accomplishments. God’s grace, on the other hand, equates value with God’s love. It is one-way, from Him. And it is guaranteed. Tullian captures the wonder of grace and offers it to us all. I urge you to read this book!”

Max Lucado,
pastor and bestselling author

“My friend Tullian is a man on fire. He has one thing to say: Jesus came to set you free. This book will make you laugh and cry. But most importantly, it wonderfully points you to the only man and message that can lighten your load and bring you the rest you’ve been searching for your whole life.”

Rick Warren,
#1
New York Times
bestselling author of The Purpose Driven Life and pastor of Saddleback Church

“It’s possible that the church’s inability to grasp the concept of God’s grace has kept more people away from Jesus than anything else. What a tragedy! Will we ever understand something so radical—and even offensive? And yet we must.
One Way Love
by Tullian Tchividjian would be a perfect place to start.”

Eric Metaxas,
New York Times
bestselling author of
Bonhoeffer
and
Amazing Grace

“In the pressure-cooker world of professional sports that I live in, where it’s tempting to locate my value in how I perform, Tullian’s book comes as a relieving breath of fresh air.”

Tony Romo,
quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys

“Faith without grace is exhausting. If you’re tired of trying to fix you with you, read this book. If you’re done keeping score and hoping your next good action will cancel out your last bad action, read this book. If you hope deep down that grace is a gift for the hopeless, not compensation for the hardworking, read this book.”

Jon Acuff,
New York Times
bestselling author of
Stuff Christians Like

“Sometimes the world distracts us from what we know to be true—that God’s love is unconditional and His grace is sufficient. Tullian has the gift of reminding me of things I know deep in my heart. He is a gifted author, a gentle teacher, and a voice of truth and encouragement that blesses my soul.”

Michael W. Smith,
singer-songwriter

“Tullian Tchividjian’s message for leaders, the church, and ultimately the world is grace. Whether teaching out of Matthew, Mark, or Deuteronomy, Tullian is always going to talk about the life-changing nature of God’s amazing, undiluted, and untamed grace.
One Way Love
is the essence of Tullian’s life message—you must read this book!”

Brad Lomenick,
author of
The Catalyst Leader
and president and key visionary of Catalyst

“Somehow, we Christians keep forgetting what Christianity is all about: not being good, but being forgiven because we are not good; not our performance, but Christ’s performance; not grace as a theological abstraction to argue over, but grace as the one-way, unmerited love of God. In this vivid, heartrending book, Tullian Tchividjian recovers the magnitude of God’s grace. In doing so, he also shows how this one-way love can transform all of our relationships, including our marriages and our parenting, and how an awareness of the grace of God can free us from the exhaustion of always having to prove ourselves. He also shoots down the great fear that prevents us from fully preaching and embracing the Gospel: the concern that too much grace will lead to laziness, complacency, and bad behavior. Tchividjian shows that legalists do not regard the Law nearly enough and that legalism and lawlessness are just two sides of the same coin—the insistence that we can save ourselves. Living in grace, on the other hand, is something different entirely.”

Gene Edward Veith,
professor of literature and provost of Patrick Henry College and author of
The Spirituality of the Cross

“There is no more liberating yet misunderstood gift than the grace of God. It goes against everything we have ever known and shatters every boundary we have ever put in place. But if you will dare to receive it, your life will never ever be the same.
One Way Love
powerfully explores the depth and beauty of God’s grace in a way that will leave you feeling lighter and more loved.”

Sheila Walsh,
author of
The Storm Inside

“
One Way Love
is incredible news for flawed, tired, and imperfect people, and wouldn’t you know it—that’s every last one of us. Tullian Tchividjian’s writings about grace are clearly rooted in his personal experience, so just as he was freed by God’s one-way love, he now shares that unbridled, radical, and entirely free grace with others as he preaches the gospel of Jesus Christ. Get this book and discover what God’s one-way love, His grace, truly looks like.”

Mark Batterson,
New York Times
bestselling author of
The Circle Maker

“
One Way Love
is exactly what I need to be reading right now—wait, make that every day. Every single moment of every single day, I need to be reminded of the unexpected, startling, and inexhaustible grace of God for sinners like me. I’m so grateful to Tullian for this book.”

Sally Lloyd-Jones,
author of
The Jesus Storybook Bible
and
Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing

“Performance = fatigue. Grace = liberation. Let Tullian get you off your treadmill of endless work and stifling legalism so you can rest with confidence in God’s great love for you. Here’s an encouraging, insightful, and urgent call to be thoroughly free in Christ.”

Lee Strobel,
bestselling author of
The Case for Christ
and
The Case for Faith

“What a wonderfully needed and personally restorative book. May it give rest and hope to a culture of exhausted Christians. May it help us face what we don’t want to face—that we’ll never ever measure up—and help us embrace what seems impossible—that God really does give us His best when we’re at our worst. I suspect you’re like me—tired of being tired. Well, if you are, this book is for you. There really is eternal love that you can’t earn and boundless grace that only comes as a gift. As
One Way Love
anticipates our questions and speaks to our objections, it reminds us that, together, this love and grace offer us the rest our weary souls seek.”

Paul Tripp,
counselor and bestselling author

“Tullian faithfully contextualizes the gospel before a culture that wobbles between hedonism and moralism. This book speaks to the ‘religious’ and ‘secular’ moralists, identifying their common root—idolatrous self-empowerment. A strong read.”

J. D. Greear,
pastor of the Summit Church and author of
Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart
and
Gospel

“A new book from Tullian Tchividjian is always a cause for celebration! I’m an old, cynical preacher, and sometimes I grow so tired—exhausted, really—from trying to live up to the standards of those who manipulate and manage in the name of Jesus. This book is like a safe harbor in a ghastly storm, because it’s about truth, grace, and Jesus.
One Way Love: Inexhaustible Grace for an Exhausted World
is a refreshing drink of cold, pure water to a thirsty soul. Read it, and give it to everybody you know. They will rise up and call you blessed.”

Steve Brown,
president of Key Life Network, radio-show host, and author of
Three Free Sins

“Tullian has a cut-and-thrust style that’s completely engrossing. I was totally captured from the first sentence. His pearl of great price is God’s therapy for our wounds. It’s a therapy of no ‘buts or brakes.’ Haven’t you had it with buts and brakes? As if the world doesn’t crowd you with enough of them to stint any of life’s joys, the church lards them on
sans merci
. ‘Down with them,’ says Tullian! But not for Tullian’s sake, or for any man’s or woman’s sake, but down with them for Christ’s sake.
One Way Love
should be a sing-along book. It should be a Coca-Cola jingle. It’s the Real Thing. And this book will teach the world to sing.”

Dr. Paul F. M. Zahl,
author of
Grace in Practice

“In One Way Love, Tullian pours the herbicide of grace on the deadly daisy of ‘He loves me, He loves me not’ spirituality. Through well-chosen episodes from God’s story and revealing anecdotes from his own story, my friend invites us to consider the radical implications of the only love that is better than life, the only love that will never let go of us, the only love that is one way—God’s unilateral and unwavering, immeasurable and irrepressible love for us in Jesus. Performance-based Christianity and self-fixated discipleship just got served notice. God’s love alone is compelling enough to help us get over ourselves and into God’s purposes.”

Scotty Smith,
founding pastor of Christ Community Church

“Tullian is obsessed with grace—in a good way. He knows (and most of us know) that we are saved by grace, but Tullian does not want us to get over it—he wants us to live by grace. In
One Way Love
, Tullian goes at the heart of something that I (and probably you, too) struggle with—being driven by performance rather than by the grace of God. Let this book speak to your performance addiction and draw you more deeply into God’s grace.”

Ed Stetzer,
president of LifeWay Research

“In One Way Love, Tullian Tchividjian’s words read like a truth-arrow shot straight from the heart of God—a God whose extravagant love moves one way toward us without disclaimers, asterisks, or fine print. Weaving Tullian’s personal story together with the deep theology of grace, this book is one of the most comprehensive explanations of the gospel I have ever read.”

Emily P. Freeman,
author of
A Million Little Ways
and
Grace for the Good Girl

“IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU DO OR WHAT YOU’VE DONE! What a novel concept!
One Way Love
is one of the most important books to come out in a long time. Resting in this truth will set you free: no matter what you do—good or bad—it is not possible for Christ to love you any more than He already does. This book has been a hard reset in the way I see grace, and things will be different from here on out.”

Bart Millard,
lead singer of MercyMe

“Tchividjian has done it again. His books have a compelling predictability to them: raw and honest biblical realism skillfully interwoven with equally candid threads from his life’s story, yielding a rich tapestry of grace in motion. One-way love, indeed. This book takes the reader on an enthralling journey into the depths of the profound love of God in Christ and its immeasurable greatness in the lives of His beloved children. Do-it-yourselfers and spiritual wannabes beware: Tullian will drown your misbeliefs in a tsunami of God’s radical love.”

Rev. Harold L. Senkbeil,
executive director of Doxology and author of
Dying to Live

“Grace is one of the most underutilized gifts Jesus has entrusted to his followers. Instead of being the air we breathe and the first thing that comes to mind when others think of us, grace, like an old fire extinguisher, gets left in the closet for occasional emergency use.
One Way Love
brings grace out in the open—showing us why we can’t live without it and alerting us to its earthshaking potency to transform lives and relationships. This book left me longing to inhale God’s grace more deeply, to learn more of His relentless heart of love, and to be an agent of His grace to others.”

Carolyn Custis James,
author of
Half the Church

“The world desperately needs to hear about the shocking reality of God’s one-way love for the undeserving—the message of grace. As is always the case with grace, those who think they are doing pretty well by underestimating their need and overestimating their ability will hate this message. But those who are desperate for grace and know they need it—the weary and heavy-laden—will find joy and relief at God’s inexhaustible grace powerfully and beautifully articulated in this book. I’m immensely grateful to Tullian for his obsession with grace and for writing this potent book. I need it. You need it. We all need it.”

Justin S. Holcomb,
author of
On the Grace of God
and adjunct professor of theology at Reformed Theological Seminary

“The fact that the law is written on our hearts is evident in the drive within us all to justify our existence through what we do. Christians are sometimes the most driven doers of all, desperately trying to prove to God that we are worthy of the sacrifice of His son. In contrast, Tullian invites us to step off the treadmill of performancism and be truly refreshed by the height and depth of God’s grace, which points us to the perfect life of Another. As a driven doer myself, I need to hear this message over and over again.”