Only Her (A K2 Team Novel) (20 page)

He tugged Riley to a stop. “Beautiful night. Beautiful woman. How did I get so lucky?”

She smiled up at him. “I could argue that I’m the lucky one.”

Cradling her face with his hands, he angled his head and kissed her. She leaned into him, putting her hands on his waist. The breeze blew her hair around their faces, and he reached under her neck and gathered it up, wrapping it around his hand. He deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth, drowning in her sweet taste. When she rubbed her groin against his erection, he groaned.

“Careful, darlin’,” he said, pulling away. “Another minute of that, and I’ll be making love to you right here in the surf.”

“Might be fun.” She nestled her head against his neck. “When it’s warmer.”

“We’ll put it on our bucket list.”

“We have a bucket list?”

He wanted to make a list that would last them a lifetime. Wrapping his arms around her, he leaned his cheek on her forehead. “What would you say if I told you I think I’m falling for you?”

“I would say that I’m pretty sure I’m falling for you, too.” She nuzzled her face against his chest.

“Think they’d miss us if we disappeared?” Needing to kiss her, he lowered his mouth to hers.

Kincaid walked past with his wife tucked next to his side. “Hey, you two. Time to toast the happy couple.”

“Dammit, we weren’t fast enough.” He took Riley’s hand, and they followed the others back to sit around the fire pit. A slew of off-color toasts were made to Ryan and Charlie amid much laughter, some causing the bride-to-be to blush.

“Something came up today,” Kincaid said when the conversation trailed off. He turned those all-seeing eyes on Cody. “Something I need you for. Problem is, I need you back to the Dog that took no enemies. What can we do to get you there?”

Cody set his cup of coffee on the deck. He glanced around to see everyone’s attention was on him. His first reaction was anger that the boss would shine a light on him like that, but the men sitting around the fire pit were his brothers. They loved him. He knew that. Where it had once just been the team, now significant others were involved. These women loved their men, and they needed to know that if he were involved in an operation, he wouldn’t have a flashback, endangering whichever teammate was out with him.

Riley reached for his hand, tangling her fingers around his. She glared at the boss. “Do you have to do this in front of everyone?”

Damn, the woman was amazing. “Yeah, he does, darlin’.” He pulled her chair closer, needing her near for what he was about to say. “I don’t know what any of you can do to help, but before I met Riley, I’m not sure I would have talked to you about what’s going on with me. She’s incredible, my inspiration.”

“He swore he wasn’t going to drink the water,” Ryan said.

Riley furrowed her brows. “You’ve said that before. What does that mean?”

Since Ryan was next to him, Cody kicked him.

“Saw that,” Jake said.

At the smirks on his teammates’ faces, including Kincaid’s, Cody sent them all a glare. He wouldn’t trade a one of those jerks, though. They were his family, one that had grown to include the women sitting with them tonight. They had his six. Always had. Always would. For these people he would bare his soul.

After discussing his nightmare, everyone agreed that he was suppressing his memories, but other than continuing his appointments with Tom, no one had anything new to offer. They hadn’t been there that day, and he knew that bugged them, each believing he could have done something to protect their sniper.

Cody met Kincaid’s gaze. “I want to be a member of the team. One thing Tom told me was to have a safe word that would bring me back if I ever had another flashback.”

“Riley,” the boss said.

If there was one word that would get through to him, it was that one. Cody glanced at Riley to see her reaction, and smiled at the shock he saw on her face. “He’s right, darlin’. No matter how far gone I was, your name would get through to me.” He sat back in his chair. “Riley it is.” He turned back to the boss. “When is this operation?”

“Next month. If you don’t think you’ll be ready, you can refuse.”

He wasn’t about to. “I’ll be ready.” Come hell or high water, he was going to be the man they needed. Enough attention had been paid on him, though, so he said, “Where are your kids tonight?” Who knew the day would come when his SEAL team commander’s eyes would light up with pleasure at the mention of children?

“They’re upstairs with our housekeeper. Would you like to meet them, Riley?”

“I’d love to,” Riley said, standing and pulling Cody up with her. Everyone followed Kincaid and Dani into the house.

Cody privately chuckled. He
had
gone and drunk the damn Kool-Aid, and was already imagining a miniature Riley running around his feet. He wasn’t taking for granted that it would happen, though. He hadn’t asked her to marry him, but the question was now on his agenda for the near future. As soon as he cleaned up the mess in his head.

Cody jerked awake to the feel of soft fingers caressing his cheek. It was so familiar that a fuzzy picture hovered at the edge of his mind, one from his past. As he stared, somewhat disoriented, at Riley’s face as she leaned over him, he tried to recapture the memory. It seemed important that he did so, but it slipped away. They had come home, made love, and quickly fallen asleep, tired from a long day.

“You were calling out,” she said.

He smiled at her before drifting off again.

“Soldier.”

The muted voice stopped Cody. He motioned for his spotter to head on up to the roof of the building they’d scouted out a few days earlier. Cody was familiar with the occupants of the house across the alley. Covered in a burqa, Asra, the teenage girl who lived there with her parents and two brothers, beckoned him before disappearing inside.

He ran low to the other side of the street and ducked into the open door of her home, his Glock palmed in his hand. Taking off on his own was against regulations and foolhardy, but she’d given him good intel on the Taliban twice now. Her only condition had been that no one know about her. He understood. The Taliban would kill her and her family if they ever learned of her treachery.

Adjusting his eyes to the dusty shadows of the house, he zeroed in on Asra, doubled over and holding her stomach. She yanked away the material covering her face. Blood dripped from a cut on her neck. Every hair on his body stood on end. The situation was bad, but he wasn’t sure why. Had the Taliban somehow learned that she’d been passing their locations to him? He stepped toward her. It was quiet, too damn quiet.

The air behind him shifted, and he spun . . .

Soft fingers caressed his cheek, and he blinked his eyes open. Asra leaned over him, the blood on her neck now dried in crusty patches. “Wake up, soldier.”

“Where am I?”

“We have to go before they come back.”

“My head,” he said, reaching a hand up and finding a large lump on the back of his skull.

“They hit you there. They think you dead, soldier. We must go.” She pulled on his arm.

“Have to go.” He struggled to his knees, and then the blackness descended.

He groaned at the pounding ache in the back of his head. Forcing open eyelids that felt as if they had been stapled shut, he frowned at seeing dusty, sandal-clad feet in his line of vision. Why was he facedown on the floor? Lifting his gaze, he saw Asra being held against a bearded man wearing a balaclava head wrap, saw the knife in the man’s hands, saw the blood dripping down Asra’s neck. He tried to sit up. Had to save her.

He made it to his knees when something hit the back of his head again, the searing pain sending him into oblivion. When he came to, he was facedown on the dirt floor staring into the dead eyes of Asra. She was on her back, her head turned his way, her accusing eyes open. He pushed up onto his arms, then fell into a sitting position. The room swam, and he thought he was going to throw up.

“Asra?” He shook her. If he could get her to their medic . . . His gaze fell on her stomach, cut open, revealing a bloody mess of organs.

Cody leaned over and vomited. His fault. His fault.

Voices sounded in the next room, men arguing in Pashto, the primary language of the Taliban. Cody tried to focus on the open door, but there were two of them wavering in his vision. He fumbled around for his pack and sniper rifle, but they were gone.

“I’m sorry, Asra,” he whispered. “So fucking sorry.”

He crawled toward one of the doors, hoping it was the real one.

CHAPTER TWENTY

N
oooo!”

Riley shot straight up in bed, heart pounding. Cody?

“I’m sorry. So fucking sorry.”

The agony she heard in his voice pierced her heart. She scooted onto her knees and turned the lamp on dim. Cody rolled from his stomach to his back, and his face was wet with tears. He was having his nightmare, and she wasn’t sure what to do. If she tried to wake him, would he lash out? She felt strongly that he wouldn’t hurt her, that somehow even asleep he’d know it was her. Then she remembered that her name was supposed to be a safe word.

It was something to try, at least. On the other side of the closed bedroom door, Sally, or maybe it was Pretty Girl, whined. Riley covered Cody’s clenched fist with her hand, hoping her touch would calm him. Also, if he tried to punch her, she’d maybe be able to push his hand away.

“My fault. My fault.”

He sounded so devastated, and whatever he was dreaming had to be something really bad, something he blamed himself for. She leaned her mouth close to his ear. “Riley.” She waited a few seconds, then said it again. “Riley.” He tried to shake off her hand, but she closed her fingers around his. “Riley.” Each time she spoke her name, she said it a little more loudly and forcefully. “Riley.”

His eyes blinked open, and he stared at her, but she knew he didn’t really see her. “I’m Riley. It’s Riley here with you.”

“Riley? You can’t stay here. It’s not safe. They’ll get you, too.”

At least he was talking to her. “Riley’s not there. You aren’t either. She’s here, in America, with you. Do you understand? You’re with me, baby.”

His eyes finally focused on her. “I had the nightmare, but it didn’t stop like always before.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. “I-I remember everything.”

“Will you tell me?”

When he brushed his fingers across his cheeks, he seemed surprised when they came away wet. He frowned as he stared at his fingertips. She hoped his tears didn’t embarrass him. As far as she was concerned, when you cared for someone you should be able to cry in front of them without fearing they would think less of you.

Thinking he might feel more comfortable talking to her if she wasn’t looking at him, she stretched out alongside him with her back to his stomach. He put an arm around her, and she laced her fingers through his.

“I screwed up something awful, and it cost a girl her life,” he finally said after a few minutes of silence.

She brought his hand to her mouth and kissed it. “Tell me about it.” If he blamed himself for the death of an innocent girl, no wonder he hadn’t wanted to remember. But she knew him, and he would never have purposely put someone in danger. As she listened to his story, tears stained her own cheeks. No, he hadn’t intentionally set out to put the girl in danger, but he’d not followed the rules, and the results had been tragic. Would he ever be able to forgive himself? If not, the guilt would eat him alive.

“She was gutted like an animal,” he rasped.

He pulled away, getting out of bed, and she turned over, watching him get dressed. “Are you leaving?” Riley glanced at the clock to see it was five in the morning.

“Yeah, I need some time alone,” he said, not looking at her.

The last thing she thought he needed was to be alone, but she sensed that if she argued the point, he would shut down. Although he already had. “You’re still going to the air show, aren’t you?”

He sat in the chair, his gaze on the shoes he was putting on. “No. I’m going to call Tom, see if he can meet with me this afternoon.”

“That’s probably a good idea.” She bit down on her bottom lip, willing her tears to go away. He was closing down on her. It wasn’t fair. She’d only just found him, and now it felt as if she was losing him.

“But you still should go. I’ll call Jake. Ask him and Maria to pick you up.” He walked to the bedroom door and paused, but didn’t turn. “Set the alarm after I’m gone.”

“Okay.” She didn’t really want to go anymore, but if she tried to speak, she would start crying. Her heart hurt, as if it had shattered into tiny pieces, for him and for her.
Please stay and let me hold you
, she wanted to say.

“I probably won’t be back later, but I’ll ask Kincaid to send someone over.” He left without looking back, Sally and Pretty Girl trotting out behind him, and maybe it was her imagination, but all three of them, man and dogs, appeared dejected, their shoulders slumped.

She got out of bed, slipped on a robe, and went to the alarm box. Alarm reset, she curled up on the sofa, unable to hold her tears in any longer. She tried to convince herself that he really did just need a little time alone to think things through, but her heart wasn’t buying it. There was finality in his voice, that of a wounded animal, off to lick his wounds, possibly never to be seen again. To heal, he needed his pack, and that was her and his teammates. Yet, a voice whispered in her ear that he’d already shut her out of his life.

Arthur jumped up and nudged his face against hers. “I know he’s hurting, but so am I,” she whispered to Arthur. Merlin sat on the back of the sofa, staring down at her. “You’re worried, too,” she said, and he blinked as if in answer. Pelli should be with them, and thinking of him caused fresh tears.

When she’d finally cried herself out, she rose, and started a pot of coffee. While it was brewing, she showered and washed her hair. Not really caring what she wore to the air show, she slipped on a pair of comfy jeans, a long-sleeved T-shirt, and brown cowboy boots. After two cups of coffee and a bowl of oatmeal, she felt a little better.

She walked to the window and lifted a blind. The sun was coming up, and it was light enough to see Cody sitting on his steps, his arms dangling between his knees as he stared at the ground. His defeated posture tugged at her. Pretty Girl and Sally sat at his feet, gazing up at him. The whole scene was one of the saddest things she’d ever seen, and even as much as he was hurting, she knew he was keeping an eye on her until Jake and Maria came by to pick her up.

She dropped the blind back in place. Yes, he was hurting, but he’d hurt her by leaving the way he had. Did she mean nothing to him after all? Afraid of the answer, she turned her attention to how to find Pelli. She was tired of waiting for her crackpot stalker to make the next move. Opening up her laptop, she accessed the file for Mr. Ziegler, the owner of the dog her clinic had mistakenly sent to be cremated. Phone in hand, she started to call the number, but paused. What would she say if someone answered? Or should she just hang up if they did? Deciding she’d apologize for calling the wrong number, she finished the call. It rang six times, then a recording picked up.

“You’ve reached the Ziegler residence. We can’t come to the phone right now, so unless you’re selling something, please leave a message,” a man’s voice said.

Riley disconnected. “We,” he’d said, so she assumed that meant he was married. Now what? She pulled up the address, noting the location was two or three miles from her clinic. That still didn’t tell her anything. She glanced at the clock, seeing that she had plenty of time to drive by the Zieglers’ house before Jake and Maria came to pick her up.

Keys in hand, she got in her car, turned the ignition, and backed up. At the end of her driveway, she stopped. Chewing on her bottom lip, she thought about what she was doing.
Don’t go off half-cocked, Riley.
Whoever was targeting her probably knew what kind of car she drove and might recognize her. It wouldn’t be out of the way for Jake to drive by the Zieglers’ on their way to the air show.

Where the hell was she going? She knew it was dangerous to take off by herself. Cody reached for his keys, planning to follow her, but then she stopped. After a minute, she drove the car back into her carport, got out, and went back into her house. What was that all about?

After leaving her, he’d sat on his porch, watching her house, while scenes from his nightmare flashed through his mind. The first time Asra had approached him with intel, she had slipped a note into his hand. He’d been standing on the street in front of her house, talking to her brother, one of their interpreters. Asra had stood behind Jalandhar, eyes downcast. When Jalandhar had turned away to go into his house, she had slipped a piece of paper into Cody’s hand before hurrying to follow her brother.

His male brain thought she was giving him a love note of some kind, maybe asking him to meet her somewhere. He almost didn’t open the folded page, but when he did, he’d stared at the words in shock. The Taliban had compromised her brother and was threatening to kill him and his family if he didn’t give them information on the Americans he interpreted for. She’d begged Cody to find a way to help her family, and in return she would pass on anything she heard. At the end of the note, she said that if Cody told anyone that she was giving him information she would jump off the roof of her house, because the Taliban had ears everywhere, and it would mean death for her, anyway.

He’d debated long and hard about keeping her a secret. Reporting her to his commander should have been the first thing he’d done on returning to base camp. If Kincaid had still been his commander, he would have. But Kincaid was back in the states and no longer in the military.

Cody had been temporarily assigned to a marine regiment in Kandahar as their sniper. If he went to the base commander with this, or any officer for that matter, he knew how things would roll. They would use Asra without any concern for her safety, while bringing her brother in for questioning. He couldn’t do that to her, so she stayed his secret. He passed on her intel each of the next two times she’d given it, saying he’d been in the right place at the right time to overhear the information. He’d never been sure the higher-ups had bought his story, but they hadn’t pressed him on it.

Nor did he report her brother. The country was fucked. That was a given. The Taliban was merciless, and he couldn’t blame Jalandhar for trying to keep his family safe. In the young man’s shoes, Cody wouldn’t have done anything different. To counter whatever info Jalandhar was passing on—there wasn’t all that much that he was privy to—Cody frequently gave the young man false information.

Everything he’d done had been to save a young girl brave enough to try to help her family and country, and he’d failed her. She’d not been given a quick death, and because of him, she’d been horribly tortured. How was he supposed to live with that?

His stomach took a sickening roll, and his mind begged for numbness. He’d told Riley that he was going to call Tom and ask for a meeting. Instead, he went looking for the scotch. If he finished off a bottle, maybe he would forget there was a woman across the street who deserved better than to be dragged into his hellhole. He hadn’t even been able to look her in the eyes after he’d admitted his part in getting Asra killed. And what about Jalandhar and the rest of Asra’s family? Had they been tortured and killed, too? It would be a miracle if they hadn’t been.

Hands braced against the kitchen counter and head bowed, Cody tried to will away the image of Asra’s mutilated body. It didn’t work, and he eyed the scotch bottle. What the hell, Jake and Maria had just picked up Riley, so he was good to go. He filled a glass to the rim.

Sally whined.

“What? Now you’re the booze police?” He glared at the dog peering up at him with worried brown eyes. Pretty Girl leaned her shivering body against Sally’s. Damn dogs. They picked up on every stupid emotion, and right now, his emotions were paying a visit to hell.

Shit. Sally was right. If he started drinking now, he’d never stop. Ever. He poured the contents of the glass down the drain, following it with what was left in the bottle. “Happy?” Sally gave a bark that he took to mean yes. Pretty Girl wasn’t so sure, apparently. She buried her face into the fur of Sally’s neck.

“Dumb dogs.” Didn’t they know he needed a drink or five? He dug in his pocket for his phone, and finding it, he called Tom. His head doc was more than happy to see him after lunch. A few seconds after disconnecting, he got a text message ping.

Might have a lead on Layla. Will let you know.