Only Mine (14 page)

“Are you okay?”

“Why didn't you tell us?”

“Can we do anything? Donate anything?”

“Will it get better over time?”

“Is this why you want to adopt?”

The questions overlapped. Dakota didn't worry about the turn the conversation was taking. What she felt, what healed the lingering ache in her soul, was the love that comforted her like an embrace.

“I'm fine,” she told them. “Seriously. I'm perfectly fine.”

“I don't believe that,” Nevada said flatly. “How can this be? You've always wanted kids. A lot of them.”

“Which is why I'm adopting. I'm on the list. I could get a call any day now.”

That was a slight exaggeration. So far, her adoption experience had been less than perfect, but it could change. She refused to give up hope.

Montana hugged her. “There are other ways to get pregnant, right?”

“I'll definitely need help if I want to carry my own child.”

Because of the scarring, there might not be any good eggs. And getting them out would be more difficult
than for most women. But there was no point in getting into that.

“Have you given up?” Montana asked.

“On having a kid? No. I'll get there.” She didn't know how, but it would happen. She had to hang on to that.

“This doesn't change anything,” Nevada told her. “You're great. Smart and beautiful, with a great personality. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

She appreciated the vote of confidence, especially because she happened to know Nevada didn't think of herself as very attractive. An interesting mental schism. If Nevada thought Dakota was pretty and she and Dakota were identical triplets, how could she not admit the same about herself? Perhaps that should have been the topic of her thesis.

“Guys seem to be amazingly blind,” Montana said. “It's very annoying.”

“Who have you liked who hasn't liked you back?” Dakota asked.

Her sister's mouth twisted. “I can't think of anyone right now, but I'm sure it's happened.” She sat on the carpet and rested her chin in her hands. “What's wrong with us? Why can't we find ‘the guy' and fall in love? Everyone else seems to be in a relationship. Even Mom is thinking of dating. But here we sit—alone.”

Montana looked at Dakota. “Sorry. I didn't mean to rant off topic. We can talk about the baby thing more.”

Dakota laughed. “I'm okay with being done with it. As to the man question, I don't have an answer.”

“You don't need one,” Nevada grumbled. “You have Finn.”

Not as much as they thought. “He's only here temporarily. As soon as he gets his brothers to go back home or figures out it's time to let go, he'll return to South Salmon.”

“What about a long-distance relationship?” Montana asked.

Dakota shook her head. “Finn and I want different things. He's tired of being responsible and I want to get serious. In fact, he told me he's concerned I'm getting too attached, so I don't think we're going to see each other anymore.”

Both her sisters stared at her.

“He didn't,” Nevada breathed.

“He did.”

“Butthead,” Montana grumbled. “I liked him. Why do all the guys I like have to be jerks?”

“Max isn't a jerk,” Nevada said.

“Would you lay off Max? He's old enough to be my father and while he's nice and everything, um, ick. He's my boss.”

“The boss-secretary romance is very popular,” Dakota said, her voice teasing. “What about that ‘Ms. Jones, you're so beautiful' moment? That could be fun.”

“I don't want to have sex with Max. Ever!”

Nevada looked at Dakota. “I hope she makes up her mind soon. All this indecision exhausts me.”

Dakota sighed as she leaned back in her chair. “Me, too.”

“I'm ignoring you both,” Montana grumbled.

Nevada laughed.

“We'll all find someone,” Dakota told her sisters. “Statistically, it's bound to happen.”

“I love math as much as the next girl,” Nevada said, “but I don't find it very comforting when it's applied to my love life.”

“You could go to South Salmon with Finn,” Montana suggested.

Dakota shook her head. “First, he hasn't asked.” If anything, he'd made it clear he wasn't interested in keeping things going for the next two days, let alone twenty years. “Second, I don't want to. I'm sure it's a wonderful place to live, but my life is here. I love Fool's Gold. My family is here. My history, my friends. I belong here. When Geoff's show wraps up, I'm going back to work for Raoul and develop the curriculum for the program we want to start.”

She was also thinking of opening a private practice. Just part-time, seeing a few patients a week.

“His loss,” Nevada said firmly. “I'd thought the guy had a brain, but I was wrong.”

“I wish I had a dog that liked to bite people.” Montana wrinkled her nose. “A really big, scary, biting dog. That would show him. Maybe I could train one of the dogs to bite on command.”

Dakota leaned forward and hugged them. “I love you both,” she whispered.

“We love you, too.”

She was lucky, she reminded herself. No matter what, she would never have to deal with the dips in her life alone. There were people who cared about her. People who would always be there for her. And eventually, because she refused to give up hope, she would have a child. And that would be enough.

F
INN FOUND
S
ASHA AND
L
ANI
playing volleyball in the park. His brother had recovered from his minor burns and seemed to be doing just fine. Sasha spotted him and waved but didn't break away from his game.

After watching for a few minutes, Finn wandered away. It was Saturday afternoon on a warm spring day. Much of the town seemed to be outside taking walks, running errands. He saw parents with small children, old ladies walking little dogs. The fire department had pulled one of their trucks up to the park. Children scrambled over the shiny rig. Restaurants and coffee shops had set up tables outside, taking advantage of the mild weather.

Two of the other couples on the show were away on dates. Finn thought they might have gone to Lake Tahoe. Regardless of their destination, there was no filming in town today.

He walked through the park, remembering that Stephen had told him he and Aurelia were going to have a picnic by the lake. Twenty minutes later he found them on a blanket in the shade of a tall tree. Aurelia sat cross-legged while Stephen lay on his stomach, looking at her.
Their expressions were intense, as if they were talking about something important.

Finn hesitated, torn between the normal polite response of not wanting to interrupt and the need to come between a sophisticated older woman and his brother. Then Aurelia spotted him and waved him over.

“How's it going?” he asked, hovering at the edge of the blanket, not comfortable sitting down.

Stephen sat up. “Good. We were just talking.”

“I have an overbearing mother,” Aurelia admitted. “We're strategizing. I'm going to stand up to her and tell her to get off my back.” She wrinkled her nose. “That sounds so brave. I'm fearless, right up until I see her. Then I crumble.” She looked at Finn. “Any suggestions for gathering courage while facing a private demon? Not that my mother is a demon. She has her reasons for running my life. I'm the one with the problem.”

Finn was having a little trouble following her conversation. “I'm sure you'll be fine.”

Stephen laughed. “Typical guy response to an emotional situation. When in doubt, distance yourself, then run.”

“You're not running,” Finn said. “Why is that?”

“I like Aurelia. We have a lot in common.” Stephen sat up. “We're both the quiet ones in our family, we like the same movies, we enjoy reading.”

“I finished college and you didn't,” Aurelia said with a quick smile. “Oh, wait. That's a difference.”

Her teasing but effective dig surprised Finn.

“You're taking my side on the college thing?” he asked, incredulous.

“It does seem a little shortsighted to go all the way to your last semester and then quit.” Instead of looking at Stephen, Aurelia looked at him. “Stephen's been majoring in engineering.”

“I know,” Finn told her. He didn't understand. She seemed to think the words were significant. He was Stephen's older brother. Of course he knew what he was studying.

Stephen shot her a look that silenced her. When she ducked her head, he reached out his hand and touched her arm.

Finn stood there, feeling like the odd man out. There was an undercurrent he didn't understand and made him uncomfortable. Which made him miss Dakota. She would get it and smooth the situation over. She did that kind of thing.

“I, ah, have to get going,” Finn said quickly. “You two kids have fun today.”

He hurried away, not sure where he was going but wanting to get far away.

What was up with those two? As for Aurelia supporting the idea of Stephen finishing college, he couldn't tell if that meant she was an okay person, as Dakota had claimed, or if this was all part of her cougar game.

He kept walking. The park was filled with residents and tourists. Young children offered bread to the ducks
by the pond. He caught sight of someone with blond hair and a familiar build. Dakota!

He turned toward her, frowning when the family between them moved. No. Not Dakota. One of her sisters walking several dogs wearing service vests. He stood in place until she was out of sight. His cell phone rang.

He checked the screen and recognized Bill's number. “How's it going?”

“Great. The new guy's a terrific pilot. There's no bullshit. He does the work and then he goes home. I like that. We've already got sixty boxes delivered.”

“That's fast,” Finn said, surprised they were doing so well.

“Tell me about it. If this guy wants to stick around, you can stay there as long as you'd like.”

“Good to know. I didn't like leaving you shorthanded.”

“Plenty of hands now,” Bill told him. “I gotta run. Talk to you later.”

Finn listened to his partner hang up, then stood in the center of the park and realized he had nothing to do with the rest of his day. He stepped into the sunlight and looked around at the bustling town. Everyone had somewhere to be. Everyone had someone to be with. Except for his brothers, the only other person he wanted to spend time with was Dakota. The problem was, the last time he'd seen her, he'd acted like an ass.

It hadn't been her at all, he admitted to himself. It had been him. He wanted to say he'd acted the way he had
because he'd known the relationship wouldn't last and he was only trying to protect her. But that would make him a liar. Instead, he'd felt himself getting closer to her. The realization had scared the crap out of him. So he'd acted or, rather, reacted. He'd rejected her and sent her on her way.

Now he was left with the consequences.

Knowing that, whether or not she was willing to forgive him, he had to apologize, so Finn walked the short distance to Dakota's house. When he reached the front door, he knocked, then waited. If she wasn't home, he'd come back later.

The door opened a few seconds later. Dakota raised her eyebrows when she saw him but didn't say anything. She was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. Her feet were bare. Her blond hair tousled. She looked good. Better than good. She looked sexy and only slightly pissed at him.

“I should probably talk first, huh?” he said.

She leaned her shoulder against the door frame. “Sounds like a good idea.”

“I have a good excuse for acting like a jerk.”

“I can't wait to hear it.”

He cleared his throat. “Would saying it's because I'm a guy be enough?”

“Probably not.”

It had been worth a try, he thought. “I was frustrated and angry about my brothers. And starting to get involved with you. That last part wasn't supposed to happen. You know I'm leaving and I know I'm leaving.”

“So you decided on the mature response,” she said.

“I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. I was wrong.”

She stepped back and held the door open. “Come on in.”

“As easy as that?”

“It was a good apology. I believe you.”

He stepped into the house and she shut the door behind him and faced him.

“Finn, I have a good time with you. I like talking to you and the sex is pretty good, too.” She smiled. “Don't let that last part go to your head.”

“I won't,” he promised. Although he wanted to take a second and enjoy the praise.

Her smile faded. “I'm very clear on the fact your stay here in town is temporary. When you leave, I'll miss you. Despite that, I'm not going to get crazy and try to make you stay.”

“I know,” he said quickly. “I shouldn't have said all that before. I'll miss you, too.”

“Having cleared up how much we're going to miss each other, do you still want to spend time together while you're here?”

He hadn't dated much in the past eight years. Once his parents had died and he'd become responsible for his brothers, there hadn't been time. So he wasn't sure if her direct attitude was about dating a woman who was more mature, or if she was incredibly special. He had a feeling it was the latter.

“I'd like to see you as much as I can,” he said. “And
if you want to beg me to stay, I wouldn't mind that, either.”

She laughed. “You and your ego. I'm sure you would love that. You in your plane, ready to fly away. Me sobbing on the edge of the runway. Very 1940s and going off to war.”

“I like war movies,” he said.

“Let me put on some shoes.” She walked across the living room and slipped her feet into sandals. “I'll show you the town and later you can stay for dinner.” She turned back to him. “And if you're very lucky, I might just use you for sex.”

“If there's anything I can do to encourage that last one, just let me know.”

“I'm sure there's something,” she said with a smile. “Let me think on it.”

 

D
AKOTA SPENT THE AFTERNOON
showing Finn around town. They explored Morgan's Books, got a coffee at Starbucks and watched the last two innings of a Little League game. Around five, they headed back to her place.

“Want to get takeout?” he asked.

“I still have the ingredients for that chicken dish,” she said, enjoying the soft breeze and the feel of his hand in hers.

“Who taught you to cook?” he asked. “Your mom?”

“Uh-huh. She's a great cook. We always had a tradition of big family dinners. We were all expected to show
up every night, regardless of what else might be going on. As a teenager, I hated the rules, but now I appreciate them.”

“Sounds like you were part of a close family.”

She looked at him. “From what you said earlier, it sounds like you were, too.”

“It wasn't the same. Dad and I were always flying off somewhere. We didn't have a lot of meals together. But you're right. We were close.”

They'd reached her house and went inside. While he browsed through her music selection, she got the chicken ready to put in the oven. Once she'd slid it into place, she grabbed a bottle of wine and joined him in her living room.

They sat together on the sofa.

“How old were you when you learned to fly?” she asked.

“Seven or eight. Dad started taking me up when I was about four. He would let me take the controls. I got serious about studying to be a pilot when I was ten. There's a lot of written material, but I got through it.”

She shifted so she was facing him on the sofa. “Why do you love it?”

“Part of it is growing up in Alaska. There are lots of places that you can only get to by boat or plane. Some of the towns in the far north are only accessible by plane.”

“Or dogsled,” she teased.

“A dogsled only works in the winter.” He put his hand
on her leg. “Every day is different. Different cargo, different weather, different destination. I like helping people who are depending on me. I like the freedom. I'm my own boss.”

“You could be your own boss anywhere,” she said.

“I could,” he agreed. “As much as I like Alaska, I'm not one of those guys who can't see himself living anywhere else. There are things I like about being in the city. Maybe not a big one. But there's something to be said for tradition. My grandfather started the business. It's been in the family ever since. Sometimes there's a partner, sometimes it's just us.”

Dakota knew all about belonging to a place. “My family was one of the original families here in town. Being there from the beginning can make you feel like a small part of history.”

“Exactly. I don't know what's going to happen with the company,” he admitted. “Sasha's not interested in flying. I always thought Stephen would take it over, but now I don't know. Bill, my business partner, has a younger brother and a cousin. They both want in. Right now they're flying for regional carriers. That's why he couldn't hire them to help while I'm down here.”

He leaned forward and picked up his wine. “Sometimes I think about selling out. Taking the money and starting over somewhere else. It used to be important for me to stay in South Salmon, for my brothers.”

“Less of an issue now?” she asked.

He nodded.

Dakota told herself not to read too much into the conversation. Finn was just talking. The fact that he wasn't determined to stay in Alaska forever didn't change their circumstances. He'd made it clear several times he wasn't going to stay in Fool's Gold. When a man spoke like that, he was telling the truth. It wasn't code for “try harder to change me.”

But there was a part of her that wanted it to be. Which made her foolish, and Dakota didn't like being a fool.

“You don't have to make a decision today,” she said. “Even if you don't stay in South Salmon, there are other parts of Alaska.”

He glanced at her. “Trying to make sure I don't change my mind about leaving? That sounds a lot like ‘don't let the door hit you in the ass.'”

She laughed. “I would never say that.”

He chuckled. “Thinking it counts.”

He put down his wine, then pulled her against him. She went willingly, enjoying the feel of his body against hers. As always, the combination of strength and gentleness aroused her. The man could make her melt without even trying. How fair was that?

He brushed his mouth against hers. “Dinner's in the oven?”

“Uh-huh.”

“How long do we have?”

She glanced at her watch. “About fifteen minutes. I was going to make a salad.”

“Or you could spend the next fifteen minutes making out with me.”

She wrapped her arms around him and drew him closer. “Salad is very overrated.”

He pressed an openmouthed kiss against her lips. She parted for him, enjoying the slow, enticing strokes of his tongue. Wanting grew. He put his hand on her knee, then moved it steadily up her body until his fingers caressed her breast.

Her nipples tightened and the pleasure began. Between her legs, she was already wet and swollen.

Were they really that hungry, she wondered. Couldn't she pull the chicken out of the oven and let it finish cooking later?