Only Pleasure (19 page)

Falling in love sucked. She realized that the day she had known her marriage was over, which came even before the night her husband had attempted double rape, but it hadn't hurt like this.

This was all Chase wanted from her, though, and that had the power to break her.

Chase shook his head, as though bewildered.

"Look, you just need a little time." He cleared his throat and dragged his fingers through his hair as she watched him in astonishment. "You're obviously upset over that confrontation with Drew today. I know that's enough to throw you off balance. Once you figure out what we have here and that you don't want to let go, all you have to do is call me."

Call me. Khalid had made that offer. Her lips curled mockingly.

Of course, he didn't truly know why she was upset. He was a man. And this was just for the pleasure. She was just for the pleasure. She wasn't woman enough for his heart. And God help her, but she needed the emotion, the heart to go with the man.

"It won't make a difference," she finally told him softly as she opened the door. "If you change your mind, though, perhaps you could put yourself out to go to the effort of calling me."

Chase pondered her words silently. He couldn't risk it. He knew he couldn't risk it. Kia had a power over him that no other woman had ever had. Sleeping with her, making love to her—and it would be making love, he knew with an instinct he didn't fight—would bare him to her completely.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked, moving to her slowly, cupping her cheek in his hand and watching her lashes flutter in pleasure. And in pain.

"I'm sure."

She didn't sound sure. She sounded lost and alone, like a woman fighting her tears. But her eyes were dry, though her face was pale.

"Kia—"

"Just go, Chase," she whispered. "Please. Just go."

He left. He forced himself to walk through the door, forced himself to keep moving as it closed quietly behind him. Just as he forced himself to walk into the early evening cold, hail a cab, and order it to Squire Point.

But he left something behind, he thought to himself. Something he might never regain.

Cameron sat back in his chair when his brother strode into the office the next morning. Late.

In the years he and Chase had both been working for Ian Sinclair, Cameron couldn't remember the last time his brother had been late. For anything.

Chase was methodical; he liked to keep his schedule, and he prided himself on being punctual. There had been a while there when Cameron had actually wondered if his brother was human rather than a robot when it came to his schedule.

"You're late." He pointed out the obvious as Chase tossed his jacket on the hook on the wall and prowled to his computer desk.

He received some kind of grunt in reply.

Cameron grinned, sat back in his chair, and studied the enigma that was Chase. That took all of about five seconds. In the past six months Cameron had slowly been allowing that twin bond they'd once had to return. Letting go of the control he had always had over it hadn't been easy, but Jaci's love had helped. She'd soothed all those ragged, pain-filled edges and given him a reason to live again.

She'd given him the strength to take a chance on letting his brother sense his emotions, something he hadn't done in twenty years. And he'd learned it wasn't Chase sensing what Cameron was feeling. It was the other way around.

Cameron winced at the bottled emotions inside his brother, and he almost smiled. Hell, it was no wonder Chase had been amused when Jaci had walked back into their lives and proceeded to shake Cameron's little world.

It was downright funny.

To look at Chase's set, closed face no one would guess at the almost hollow anger that filled his brother, and the need. Damn, that need was enough to remind Cameron that he had a lunch date at home with his fiancée and a little afternoon love he'd been set on making.

The need trapped inside Chase was blistering hot, boiling, and threatening to explode. And Cameron had a feeling he knew exactly who it was going to boil over on. The potential for it had always been there. Even before Kia Rutherford married Drew Stanton, she had been the one woman Cameron had sensed Chase shying away from.

Chase might tell himself this was only for the pleasure, but Cameron knew better. And he had a feeling his brother was learning better.

Having a sister-in-law would be an odd experience, Cameron thought. Especially Kia Rutherford. But he imagined Chase probably felt the same way, with the wedding plans that were progressing rapidly between himself and Jaci.

He'd have his ring on Jaci's finger soon, Cameron promised himself. And he'd wear hers with pride. But that feeling wasn't helping his brother any. Chase, Cameron decided, needed a bit of help.

"You came in late last night," he commented as Chase unclipped his cell phone from his belt and slapped it on the desk.

That was another thing, Chase had worn jeans into the office. Something he very rarely did. Jeans meant he was pissed off and ready to kick ass. Either figuratively or literally. Cameron was hoping for figuratively.

"I don't have a curfew." Chase sat down and glared at the computer for a second before turning it on.

Cameron blew out a soundless breath. He only did that when he was afraid Courtney had sent out e-mails. Or perhaps more cell phone photos of Kia Rutherford buying lingerie.

Cam grinned.

"How are you and Kia doing?"

Chase froze. "There is no me and Kia," he snapped. "There never was."

"Oh yeah." Cam nodded as though remembering. "That's right. Your old motto, huh? Only for the pleasure?"

Chase's shoulders were tight. "Whatever."

"She's getting possessive, I bet?" Cam asked. "Yeah, women, they get stuff in their heads and the next thing you know, they think they own us. What's up with that?"

Personally, Cam kind of liked being owned, but the effort was pissing Chase off, and it was the best morning's entertainment he'd had outside of his apartment in a while.

"What's up with you?" Chase fired back, glancing over at him. "Nobody's getting possessive but you."

Cameron reined in his amusement until his brother turned back to the computer, then he smiled. Yeah, he was kind of possessive now. But when a man found a woman who brought out the beast, it was always better to go along for the ride. It was a hell of a lot more fun that way.

"Broke it off with her, did you?" Cameron asked, though he knew better. A man couldn't break off a relationship he refused to admit he was in.

"There was nothing to break off," Chase snapped.

"True." Cam nodded thoughtfully, as though his brother were actually looking at him. "You're better off without her anyway, probably. I mean, just think of all the complications."

Chase flipped around in his chair, glaring at him. "What complications? There are no complications."

Cam could feel said complications pouring off his brother, and it was both amusing and sobering. Hell, had he been like mat when he was fighting what he felt for Jaci? He'd have to be sure to make it up to her tonight when he got home.

"Well," Cam drawled, "there's always those little 'honey do' projects they have going on, like putting up Christmas trees, that take most of the night."

Chase frowned, his brows lowering over his eyes broodingly.

"Of course, there's the compensation later." Cam cleared his throat and let a little half smile tug at his lips. "But not all men would think that payment is worth it."

If Chase's expression could have gotten darker, it did.

"And that habit they have of wanting to chat after sex when all a man wants to do is sleep." He leaned forward as if the thought was irksome, then arched his brows and grinned. "Of course, you can learn some good secrets about them then. They like to get things off their minds so they can go to sleep." Cam made certain he had a suitably mysterious look on his face.

He was pleased to see that little flash of concern on Chase's face, as though his brother wondered if either Jaci or Kia had been discussing them at that little lunch yesterday.

Of course, Cam was betting they had. Jaci just hadn't said anything.

"What kind of secrets?" Chase asked, his voice dark, and impressively worried.

"Just girl stuff, I think." Cameron frowned. "I think it's girl stuff. I'm usually pretty close to sleep about then."

Bullshit. If Jaci was talking, Cameron was listening, simply because he was fucking mesmerized by her.

"They definitely come with a few problems." Cameron sighed and shook his head.

"Like what?" Chase growled. "Kia's not a problem."

"Well, that's true. I guess if you're just there for the fuck, then it's not that big a deal." He shrugged. "Now me, for instance. There's all the cuddling Jaci wants to do at night." He tapped his fingers against his desk thoughtfully. "But she does keep a man warm. Sharing bathroom space gets tight sometimes—all that girly stuff lying around. But she'll wash my back in the shower." He grinned. She did a hell of a lot more than that in the shower.

Chase glared at him.

"Man, monogamy can suck, I guess, and women just insist on it." He'd kill any man who tried to touch Jaci.

Despite the fact that the first part of their relationship had been spent with Chase as a third, it wasn't a relationship that had continued.

Chase's look grew yet darker.

"There's no relationship," he snapped again. "It wasn't love, it wasn't commitment, it was pleasure. That was all. Simple. Clean. Period."

Yeah, that was what he felt pouring from Chase, pure damned mad and messed-up male emotions. Simple. Clean. Period.

"Eh, count yourself lucky." Cameron shrugged and grinned again. "I guess I just got all the monogamy genes in the family. Damn. I'm a lucky bastard."

"You're definitely a bastard," he heard Chase mutter as he turned back to his computer.

Cameron had to keep his chuckle to himself. He cleared his throat, covered his mouth with his hand as he bent over the files on his desk and let a smile pull at his lips.

Man, Chase was a goner.

Maybe he should feel sorry for his brother, after all, falling in love wasn't an easy thing to do. There were all those messed-up emotions, sensations you just didn't know what the hell to do with, and the fact that a man knew, balls deep and in his gut, that he was never going to feel as much pleasure as he did with that one woman.

Chase was fighting that now. All the possessive, instinctual emotions that assailed a man when he finally touched that one woman who fascinated him were coming off Chase in waves.

Whatever the hell his brother had done, whatever he was denying, it wasn't sitting well with him. And despite his apparent fascination with e-mail, his mind wasn't really on it.

"Did we manage to get the report in on John Haggard's application?" Cam asked his brother several minutes later.

"No."

Cameron almost laughed. Bullshit. He'd seen it on Chase's desk that morning and just hadn't picked it up.

"He's going to be anxious to get his application through," Cam stated. "He's had his deposit in for a year now while we put him through the wringer. Do you think we could rush it?"

"I'm on it."

Cameron craned his neck, checked to see what Chase was so absorbed in, then shook his head pitifully.

Those damned cell phone pictures Courtney had taken of Kia going through the lingerie.

Yeah, Chase had it pretty damned bad.

He rose to his feet and moved to his brother's desk, almost grinning again as Chase minimized the screen.

"What the hell do you want?" Chase asked.

Cameron reached down to the desk slowly and grinned knowingly. "The Haggard file." He picked it up, then chuckled as his brother scowled. "She'll be at the Edgewood ball next week, I bet. Maybe you should come with us."

Chase lifted his lip in a snarl and Cameron had to snicker. Poor Chase. A goner, for sure.