Operation Christmas (7 page)

“She’s not ready to date.”

“Uh-huh. Since when you let
not ready
stop you?”

“I don’t want to push. She’s special.”

“Ah. Special. As in long-term relationship special?”

“Yah. Long term. So stay out of it. See you December twenty-seventh?”

“Can’t wait. And, thanks. I appreciate cutting my drive time in half.”

“Just don’t think you’re going to run my love life.”

“Who? Me? Never.” She hung up with a laugh.

Jess knew better. She would interfere. In fact, she
was
interfering by throwing down the gauntlet with a challenge. He did kiss on the first date and intended to get a second chance. He pushed back from his desk and grabbed his coat as he headed out to Nancy’s desk. “Stop accepting interviews. I’ve hired. We’ll need to send letters to those I’ve already seen.”

Nancy leaned back in her chair with a furrowed brow. “Please don’t tell me the ditsy redhead.”

“What? She was smokin’ hot.” Jess grinned openly then raised his hand at Nancy’s protest. “I hired Tamara Johnson.”

“We didn’t interview any Tamaras.”

“You’re right. I did. I’ll be back in twenty minutes.”

With that, he headed for the warehouse. His truck was parked out back. As he drove to Madeleine’s office, which turned out to be five streets north of his own business, he wondered how Tamara knew the right buttons to move him off his butt.
Since when you let
not ready
stop you?
Once the “old Jess” knew what he wanted and set his sights on the prize, he hung on like an aggressive dog with a meat bone.

With persistence, he could woo Madeleine into seeing him as a good guy. Then she wouldn’t notice his missing arm. It amazed him how having the right woman in his crosshairs put aside his insecurities. At least, for the moment, while a good dose of brazen insanity kept them beneath the surface. Where’s the risk, he asked himself. Rejection he couldn’t overcome? Somehow, he knew this risk worth taking a chance.

Computers That Run sat in a row of nice brick-faced offices in a slightly classier area than his tool and die shop. He entered the front door and wiped his feet on the floor mat. An empty receptionist desk faced him. The area was corded off from the rest of the office with cheap fabric panels so he couldn’t see beyond where he stood. The place smelled brand new.

Where was everyone? He would never stand for this at his place. About to call out a “hello” he checked himself. What was he doing here in the first place? Tamara’s challenge had propelled him into action. Foolish action. He turned to leave.

“Jess?” He swiveled around to see Madeleine’s beautiful brown eyes wide and full of surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh, I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d see if you’d like to get some lunch.” Her glance at a wall clock made him realized the day had barely begun. “Uh, I mean later. At lunchtime. Say noon? Or any time you can get away.” Yep. He should have turned tail the moment the instinct to leave swift kicked him in the rear. Her pink face and lowered eyes only made matters worse. She set a stack of papers on what he thought might be her desk. She picked up a ringing phone. Maybe she did reception and accounting? He felt as confused as she looked as she transferred the call. Her body language screamed what part of “she’s not ready to date” didn’t he understand? Oh, he got the message loud and clear. He just didn’t have the common sense to accept it.

She hung up the phone and gave him a hard, emotionless stare. “Can’t. Sorry. I’m behind on the end-of-month reports and plan to eat at my desk.”

Madeleine’s discomfort made him go the opposite direction. Cool, calm and collected. “Maybe another time.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Her head snapped toward the cracked door and the male voice calling her name in a harsh tone. “I’ve got to go. That’s my boss.”

Jess set his jaw. He saw her spine straighten. If that’s how the idiot talked to his wife, no wonder there was trouble in paradise. He had never spoken to any woman for any reason in that manner. He envisioned a drill sergeant he’d not particularly liked whose image still managed to get under his skin.

“Thanks for stopping by,” she said and made a quick exit behind the partition.

This. Was. Not. Over.

Jess became more determined than ever to minimally get a cup of coffee with Madeleine. See what lurked behind the partition with the guy who had BOSS engraved on his nameplate. Besides, too much of a connection flowed between them Saturday night to believe he turned her off. Down but not out, something twisted in his heart. He understood what type of battle she fought. She couldn’t let go of the past to live the future. And now Jess couldn’t let go of the future he saw with Madeleine and to hell with the past.

Three stints in Afghanistan gave him an appreciation for life most men of twenty-eight didn’t possess. He would not blow this opportunity to bring meaning into his life.

Back in his office, he removed the prosthetic arm and tossed it on a file cabinet in hopes the pressure would relieve phantom pain in the limb missing from below the elbow. Today his invisible fingers tingled. He gave a vigorous rub to his upper arm wasted and smaller than his right bicep. Part of him wanted to attribute her rejection to his missing arm. Nah, even he couldn’t buy that sorry old excuse he used to torture himself. Her fear of loving another man besides Danny seemed the real issue. How did you overcome someone’s love for another?

Luckily, he saw something Madeleine didn’t see, or want to see. She showed signs of being ready to move on. She slipped in and out of wanting a future with the ease of a ballet dancer. His job would be to nudge her in the right direction—his direction. Before some other guy got bitten with wanting her and beat him out. It felt right.

The only doubt lurking deep in the recesses of his mind came from that bad date several months ago. Still, Madeleine’s rejection of him came from a different place—one not driven by fear of appearances or selfish needs. He hoped. Who knew the mind of a woman? Which he admitted played to his advantage. After all, he could keep deluding himself he had a chance with male ignorance.

Madeleine was the one. Deep down, she knew it too or she wouldn’t be running scared. His gut instinct said so. That same gut feeling that saved many a life with an unpredictable enemy in the desert. Until that instinct ran out of luck one fateful patrol.

****

Madeleine did a slow burn on the drive home from work. Tired and hungry she found herself zoning and had to jam the brake to the floor for a stop sign. Thank goodness the roads were dry and no one saw her poor driving. Again. She drove on cursing her boss.

Kurt might have a business degree hanging on his wall and another degree in computer technology, but what he really needed was a course in managing people. If his new bride was the problem then he needed to resolve the issue and quit taking it out on everyone. His mood swings and rants made her PMS days nonexistent. Couldn’t he see smart folks were jumping ship? Although she was tempted to do the same she stayed for the false sense of security the job gave her at a time when her emotional state struggled.

Her heart pounded in her chest and made her breath come in short bursts. Things were getting harder not easier. She pulled into the garage and swallowed a whimper, refusing to cry. Oh Lord, she might be falling apart. Being indecisive and wishy-washy about everything wasn’t her style, yet she seemed too insecure to do anything about the things controlling her. She entered the family kitchen and found Grams. “Where’s Mom and Dad?”

“Movies. Didn’t bother to ask me.”

“Why didn’t you tell them you wanted to go?”

Grams huffed. “Who wants to go outside? It’s freezing.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“The problem is they didn’t ask.”

“Maybe it was because they know you hate traipsing around in the cold.”

“Just because I complain about it doesn’t mean I want to be left out. How’s my Mini behaving?”

“It doesn’t like the cold either. Sometimes I have trouble getting it to start.”

“Do you pump the gas pedal first?”

“Yes.”

Grams walked to the stove and twisted the knob. The gas burner came to life under a pot of stew. Madeleine soaked in the kitchen’s country ambiance. Roosters and palest of yellow walls began to ward off the bad thoughts and injustices at Computers That Run.

Grams puttered around the kitchen, obviously in thought about her Mini and commented, “The thing never did like the cold.”

“Like you, Grams.” She let one of Tamara’s suggested broad grins crease her cheeks grateful Grams had diverted her meltdown.

“You have a good time on your date the other night with that Jess something?”

“Grant. Jess Grant.”

“Name’s familiar.”

“He went to my high school.”

“He know Danny?”

“Knew of him, but didn’t
know
him.”

“Of course not. You wouldn’t let anyone near the poor boy. Hoggin’ him to yourself.”

“Good thing given our time together was short.”

Grams clammed up giving Madeleine a chance to eat dinner. She hoped the food would help rid her of a relentless headache. Fat chance. The momentary short silence ended with loud clanging and banging of dishes. Grams unloading the dishwasher sounded like she threw the dishes into place. The noise stopped. “Can you take me Christmas shopping tomorrow night?”

Madeleine pierced a carrot laden with rich gravy Grams called her specialty. Um, the stew tasted so good. She swallowed. “I thought you had all your shopping done.”

“I do.”

“Then why do you want to go?”

“Bunko. The girls want to do a gift exchange.”

“Sure. My boss is away tomorrow. Thank God,” she mumbled under her breath. “I’ll be home on time.” The kitchen clock read seven-thirty by the time she had gotten home and sat at the table.

That evening Grams worked on a cross-stitch project and Madeleine did her best not to fall asleep in the recliner. The TV blared. She peeked at Grams from the corner of her eye. “Why not give one of your cross-stitch projects for the gift exchange?”

“Can’t. Gave one last year.” Grams picked up the TV remote and flipped through channels, stopping at a bloody sword and club battle set in medieval times with scantily clothed warriors. “If men looked like that back then, it’s no wonder the population exploded.”

Madeleine thought of Tiffany and her impending surprise pregnancy. Her husband fathered two kids in rapid succession without muscles or a massive chest. Danny would have too, if he’d come back to her. Danny definitely wasn’t the warrior hero type, yet he’d died protecting freedom. Then there was Jess. He definitely looked the part.

Ah, what to do about Jess. Arm or no arm, she knew a virile man lay beneath Jess’s cool facade. Was it his tenacious nature that kept him alive on the battlefield or luck? Who knew? More important, if Jess brought his persistent nature to the bedroom, would she be woman enough? She shook away the thoughts that brought pricks of awareness to her skin.

So many things about Jess scared her when all her experience centered on Danny. The only boy she dated in high school. Then they married. How did she move on from the one secure relationship she’d ever known without guilt and fear? She tried to rub away the pounding headache. A deep sigh caught Gram’s attention.

“Sad tonight, honey?”

“A little.”

“I’ll turn this thing off.” Grams grabbed the remote and found an old episode of Seinfeld. “You going out with Jess again?”

“Doubt it.”

“You didn’t like him?”

“I’m not ready to date.”

“You mean you’re not ready to have sex with someone new.”

“
Grams.
” Heat hit Madeleine’s face in a burst. How aggravating and embarrassing the elderly women in the house seemed capable of reading her mind. “I’m not afraid of sex
.
”
Liar. You’ve gained ten pounds over the last two years.
She made a vow to lay off the morning day-old bakery.

“Pooh. Let’s call it what it is. Don’t throw away your youth.”

Oh, boy. Madeleine didn’t like where this was going. “If this is going to be a commentary on hormones or sex, I’d rather skip it.”

“I’m too old to beat around the bush, being all nice and politically correct.” She peered over the top of her glasses. “If I can’t speak my mind to family, you might as well shove me in the ground next to Gramps.”

Okay. That did it. Madeleine hopped up from her chair to go find an aspirin. “It’s been a rough day. I think I’ll turn in early. You okay here alone?”

“Do I look like I need babysitter?”

“No, it’s just that I didn’t want you to be lonely.”

“
Lonely.
Ha. Go to bed. That’s where you’ll find out what lonely’s about.”

After a lousy day like today, Madeleine couldn’t agree more. “Good night.”

“Don’t forget you’re taking me to the mall tomorrow night,” Grams called out.