Oppression (20 page)

“Wait,” I breathed.

His reaction was quick. He pulled away, eyes wide and filled with regret.

“I’m sorry,” he stammered.

“No.” I shook my head. “Don’t be.” Clearly I was the eager one, moving things faster than I even knew how. “It’s just, I’ve never done this . . . with anyone. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I mean, you were my first kiss, so I don’t really know what I’m doing.” I was rambling now. Clear things up Elyse, get to the point. “I’m just new at this—”

“Hey,” he cut my rant short. “It’s okay. We’ll go slow.”

I took a deep breath. “Okay.”

I knew we were supposed to be soul mates, but everything had just moved so fast. William sank back against the wall, propping himself up with pillows, and I followed, laying my head against his chest.

“So, I was really your first kiss?” he asked, running his fingers through my hair.

“Yeah, pathetic huh.”

“No. You’re a good kisser, actually.”

I looked up at him. “Really?”

“Yeah, my first kiss was with Sue Crape on a dare. Trust me, it wasn’t pretty.”

“Have you ever had a girlfriend or anything?” I asked, eager for more juicy details of his love life.

“Once,” he admitted.

“Well?” I prompted, poking him in the side.

“Well . . .” he repeated. I could tell that he was smiling. “It was Juliet Harrison. She’s living in a different community, but people here know her. I’m not too proud of it.”

“What happened?”

“She’s manipulative,” he sighed. “Her bloodline is Athena, and being descendant of the goddess of wisdom, she sort of knows everything. Can you imagine how irritating it would be to have a girlfriend who claims she knows everything and actually does? She basically convinced me that we were supposed to be together, which in the end obviously was a lie.”

I had questions, but I kept quiet.

“I should probably take you home,” William said, when I didn’t say anything. “I feel weird sleeping in the same bed when my parents are here.”

I lifted my head and pushed myself up. “Why do you still live here, anyway?”

“Why do you think? All they think about is war and the prophecy. They’re too paranoid to let me leave.”

Lying next to William in my bed an hour later kept me distracted for a while, but when he fell asleep, my conversations with Iosif, the Nickels, and Anna began to play over and over again in my head. I watched William’s peaceful face as he slept, not wanting to confront the fact that time was not on my side. I tried to remember to enjoy these moments, even if they were slipping away like water through sand.

19.

I WASN’T AWARE of how comfortable I’d gotten to William’s warm body beside me in bed until I woke up to the feeling of his absence. All he’d left was a note on his pillow with the words, “I have a plan. I’ll be back on Monday. Be careful.”

Immediately, I thought of Anna. I hadn’t seen her since I’d found out about the cancer. I explained to her it wasn’t safe, but safety wasn’t the only reason I’d been avoiding a visit. Once I saw her, I would be forced to face everything I’d been pushing into the back of my mind. William’s protective presence was the perfect excuse not to go, but now that he was gone, I knew I had to.

I thought about what William would say as I drove my neglected Nissan over the bridge to Oakland.
What are you thinking?
I imagined his worried expression. I was a little nervous about the repercussions, but we were both flagged. If I didn’t go now when I had the chance, I knew I’d regret it later.

It wasn’t until I pulled off of the freeway that I realized I was being followed. I recognized the black Lincoln from the start of my trip as it exited after me and mimicked my right turn. The car stayed close behind as I made my way to Anna’s without the slightest attempt at being inconspicuous.

I began to worry. Something wasn’t right. Instinctively I took a wrong turn, diverting the pursuer off the road to my friend’s house, and seconds behind, the vehicle followed. I drove steadily, slowly, not sure what to expect. My mind was frantic.

In my panicked state, I began to speed up from 35 to 40 and then to 50 zipping through the residential neighborhood. I turned down every other street, hoping to lose them, but the Lincoln stayed persistent and determined. The adrenaline seemed to take control of me, the fear acting on my behalf. I was too paralyzed with fright to cry or to react in any other way than to run, but when I glanced in my rearview mirror to judge the distance between us, the car was gone.

I kept my foot on the accelerator, still too nervous to slow down. I had to make sure I had lost them. I turned randomly down street after street before I made the decision to stop the car in an alleyway behind a row of houses.

The panic began to slowly fade with each second that the black car failed to appear. Was there someone really after me, or was it all just a prank? Maybe they had realized they had the wrong person, but considering my situation, that would be unlikely. I shuddered at the thought of not knowing at that very moment where they were, or worse, what they were plotting.

I turned around in my seat to look out the back window, not trusting the mirrors. My wide eyes searched, and I waited, but still there was no Lincoln. I sighed heavily, wrapping my hands tightly around the steering wheel and leaning my head back against the headrest.

I was still on edge when I left, but I couldn’t hide forever behind those houses. Besides, it would take me another hour or so to wind my way out of the maze of streets I had burrowed myself in. A pursuer would have no idea where I was headed.

By the time I arrived at Anna’s, after a lengthy journey including two stops for directions, I was so grateful to be there that I didn’t think to approach the place cautiously. I parked the car, grabbed my things, and was already heading for the door when I caught a glimpse of the black car waiting for me a few spaces down across the lot.

I went rigid at the sight of it, almost not noticing the slender figure leaning against the wall nearby. I could tell it was a woman by her petite frame, which made me feel foolishly more at ease, but her face was cast in shadow from the ledge above. I wondered, as I stood unmoving, whether or not it was the same car that had followed me, whether or not the girl was just waiting for someone. Maybe that someone was me. I told myself nothing was wrong, to remain calm, but just as I made my first decisive effort to continue on, something blindsided me, knocking my senses—a voice.

Elyse
.

My own name sounded in my head like it had been spoken deliberately into my ear, familiar, but unrecognized. I immediately whirled around expecting the girl to be standing right behind me, but she remained still and unchanged beneath the overhang. Fear began to seep through my pores, forming tiny beads of sweat that chilled my skin, and although she hadn’t advanced, I could tell she was looking in my direction. My eyes combed the lot for some reasonable explanation, but there was nothing suspicious about the scene, nothing but her. As she emerged from the shaded wall into the sun, I made the connection. It was Kara.

I smiled with relief, and immediately perked up as she walked to meet me. At least it was her and not Ryder.

“Hey,” I beamed, but she didn’t reciprocate my excitement at all. Her face stayed flat and serious, almost, professional.

Her clothes were much more formal than I remembered. A sleek black skirt and suit jacket fit her body nicely only to be contrasted by the same rough looking army boots she liked to wear. Her eyes, done up with dark rebellious makeup, stayed locked on me with intensity.

“Hey,” she returned with detachment. Her voice matched the one spoken in my head. “Do yourself a favor. Get back in the car and go home.”

“Why?” I asked, thrown off by her unfriendly tone. “Why are you still following me?”

Don’t be stupid
.

Her lips didn’t move. The words were spoken in my head like they had been uttered through a set of invisible headphones. Suddenly things clicked into place. The black Lincoln had been her all along.

I disregarded her last statement. “If you knew where I was going, why would you chase me down, Kara?” My words sounded accusatory and aggressive. I had thought of her as a friend after she saved me from Ryder, but apparently deception came easy to these people.

I was hoping to scare you off, to keep you from coming here in the first place.

“Get out of my head, and talk to me like a person,” I spat. I felt angry and defensive, and apparently those emotions were enough to break through my nervousness. I didn’t feel scared of her, though maybe I should have been.

“Don’t get snappy with me, Elyse. I’m trying to make sure you don’t get yourself killed.”

“I thought I was flagged, and so is Anna. So what are you here to do? Arrest me?”

She laughed a short breathy huff as if that was a ridiculous idea. Her black curls bounced around her face as she shook her head.

“Well, what then?”

“I just don’t understand why you’d do something you know would put you at risk with The Council. People are stubborn and stupid. I see what happens when you cross them. Trust me. Don’t.”

“How am I putting myself at risk? I’m going to see my sick friend. Frankly, I don’t see what is so taboo about that. I’ve done nothing wrong.”

Yet
. The word pushed through my thoughts, obtrusive and unwelcome.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Do you think I can’t see what you’re considering?

My promise to Anna rushed to the forefront of my mind, and she nodded her head confirming that was what she had meant.

“What does it matter to you? It’s none of your business.”

It’s my job. The Council makes it my business.

I wasn’t sure what to do, or if her involvement would mean there would be consequences.

“What will they do to me if I see her today? They can’t punish me for just visiting, can they?”

Ryder’s on a job. He’ll only know what I tell him
. A defiant grin crept to her lips, and she seemed pleased with the fact that she had some of the power to herself.
Consider this a warning
.

She turned away from me without a goodbye and walked toward the Lincoln.

“Kara,” I called after her. She stopped but didn’t turn back. “Thanks.”

***

“You know, normal people like to use bookshelves,” I teased from the couch in Anna’s living room. William hadn’t called me all morning and I was starting to worry, but at least it gave me more time with Anna. The more time I spent with her, the more I realized I couldn’t trust what she said about her condition. She would always brush things off light-heartedly like they were no big deal. I could tell she was twisting the truth.

I picked up an old copy of
Moby Dick
and thumbed through the worn pages. “I thought you didn’t even like to read.”

She laughed as she dug through a box at her feet. “Yeah, when I was twelve.”

“True,” I said with a smile.

Her hands shook as she shuffled through the dusty memorabilia—a music box, some photo albums, a round tin full of trinkets. Her breath was shallow and labored, and I could tell she felt tired, but I kept quiet. I knew what sort of response I would get if I were to offer help, suggest rest, or ask if she was all right—a stubborn smart alec remark that would play it off as nothing.

“I know they were in here,” she mumbled to herself.

“Who cares, Anna? You don’t need to find them right now.”

Seeing her work so hard to do the smallest of things made my stomach cinch up with knots. She was getting worse.

“Here they are,” she said, completely ignoring my concerned eyes. “I can’t remember the last time I looked in these yearbooks.” The smile that stretched across her face was worth the trouble to find them. “Wow.”

“What?” I asked, moving to share her recliner.

“Look at us. We were so cute.”

She was looking at an old grainy black and white photo. We were in line for recess, arm in arm, jump ropes in hand, and happy as two kids could be.

“Is that Collin in the back?” she pointed.

Collin. The name surfaced like a bubble of air in water. His hair kept long in the winter would whip back and forth as he ran the black top at lunch, hypnotizing me with fascination. I had forgotten about the boy. He was only there for a year before he moved.

“We sure spent our share of nights on him,” Anna laughed.

“Days too,” I added.

Days were simple back then. Well, maybe they were never simple, but they were a little easier for a while.

Next, she pulled out the photo albums. “I’ve been looking through these a lot,” she said with a reminiscent smile, “after Chloe goes to sleep.”

I sat with her as she relived the bitter sweet moments of her life. She was so beautiful in her wedding dress, her face youthful with a healthy glow, and full of life. Her smile seemed to stretch across the room, she was so happy. She wore her hair up in curls that billowed around a veil trailing down her back. The dress revealed strong arms and a neckline that didn’t expose her collarbone the way it stuck out now. “Too bad the jerk left two years later when Chloe came. Some men just can’t handle the joys of life. It’s been twelve years, and he still hasn’t even called her.”

“I told you, I had a bad feeling about him.”

“Well, at least he gave me my daughter. Everything happens for a reason.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that’s true.” Everything did happen for a reason, and as I watched her look back on her unfinished life, saying goodbye to her memories, I considered maybe my ability to heal happened for a reason. Maybe I was given this gift for one reason only, to save her.

“Okay, here’s me pregnant,” she laughed. “Not quite as flattering.”

Her face was round and rosy to match her belly, which pushed the middle section of her overalls to the max. Her pant legs were rolled, and she was barefoot with a paintbrush in hand. She was painting the walls baby girl pink while her husband stood stone faced in the right corner of the photo.