Ordinary (Anything But) (20 page)

“That’s…I’ll let Superior August know.”

Natasha rubbed her arms with her hands, like she was cold. Ryder didn’t understand that since it had to be close to eighty in the building that had no air conditioning. “Doesn’t he creep you out a little?”

Ryder went still, felt ice chips cool his eyes. “No. He was there for me when my father died. He’s a good man. You should be careful what you say about people, Natasha, and who you say it to.”

Natasha stared at him like she was finally seeing him for the first time. Good. Let her be wary of him. “Right. I’ll remember that.” She spun on her heel and hurried from the school.

Ryder turned back to the emptying hallway, away from the door, and headed for the bathroom. He needed water. His throat was dry, parched. He pushed the door open as someone pulled and was surprised to see Honor. Ryder looked at the blue walls to make sure he was in the right room. She wore a pink top and shorts and smelled like summer. As always, when he looked at her, he thought one thing and said another.

He thought of how pretty she was, how beautiful her blue eyes were. They looked like a crystal and forever sparkled with heat, be it with sorrow, anger, or sympathy. Honor’s eyes told all with one look. What he said was, “Hello, Honor. Were you waiting for me?”

She
got that annoyed look Ryder associated with her view of him. “Yes. I was waiting for you, in the boys’ bathroom, hoping you’d show. I know it’s your most favorite place to be. Glad I got to see you. Now, please move.” Her voice trembled, showing she was upset about something.

His heart gave a twinge, so of course he smiled mockingly. “You know you want me. Don’t deny it. I’d
want me too if I was a girl.” What? Had he
really
just said that? He’d exceeded
beyond
the definition of stupidity with those words.

“Do you know how disturbing that sounds?”

Ryder leaned forward, smelling her sweet skin, and said quietly into her ear, “I’m a disturbing kind of guy.”

Honor jerked away, her eyes large in her pale face.
“That’s the first thing you’ve ever said that is actually true.”

“Ah, come on, Honor, I say all kinds of factual stuff, most obvious the line about you wanting me.”
Moron.

“You have a problem.”

He cocked his head, striving for a confidence he really didn’t feel. “I do? What’s that?”

“You’re egotistical and rude and conceited. You think everyone wants you.” Her words built steam as she lashed out, “You
think
you’re
perfect
.”

No, I don’t. I am the
opposite
of perfect, the opposite of
all
of that.
“That’s a problem?”

“Only you would think it isn’t.”

“I’m hurt.” He coaxed his lips into a pout he really didn’t feel like displaying, but he had to keep up the act, always. Some days he didn’t even know why he was still doing it. “And here I thought we were friends. You mean all those times you smiled at me were a hoax? I kept those smiles close to my heart. You didn’t mean
any
of them? I am literally crying on the inside.” He flicked an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye.

Her face went red. “I will
never
be your friend and I
don’t s
mile at you.”

Closing the distance between them until her back was flat to the wall, Ryder placed his palms on either side of her head, leaning down to place his mouth close to hers, holding her gaze. His body tensed; he wanted so badly to kiss her. “Oh, Honor, you
so
smile at me.” She didn’t, not really. That was something he longed for and never received: Honor’s smiles.

She stared at him like he was some kind of monster. Maybe he was. R
yder wasn’t really sure at that point. He slowly backed away, letting her pass. She practically ran from the bathroom. “Be seeing you, Honor,” he called after her, feeling like an astronomical ass.

***

“Are you there, son?”

Ryder gripped the cell phone tight against his ear. “I’m here.”

“They’ll be collecting her tomorrow. I want you at the facility. She knows you. Might be good for her to see a friendly face.”

He rubbed his forehead and leaned his backside against the kitchen counter. The housekeeper had put a pan of lasagna in the oven and the garlic cheese and sauce mixture filled the air, remindi
ng him he hadn’t had any lunch. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

“Why’s that?” Superior August barked from the other end of the phone.

“Honor doesn’t exactly like me.” He thought back to their exchange in the boys’ bathroom after school. Even when he wasn’t trying to make her mad, Ryder managed to. His mouth spewed forth offensive words without any effort on his part. Apparently it was a gift where she was concerned.

“Nonsense.
All the girls like you. She’s being coy.”

“I think I know what that means and it’s not the same as what she’s being.”

Superior August chuckled. “I’ll be seeing you soon, son.”

“Goodbye, sir.” Ryder turned the phone off.

Superior August would never be able to replace Ryder’s father, but he was a good surrogate. He’d known what to say, what to do to bring Ryder back from the brink of self-pity and disillusionment. He’d made him train, made him learn everything he needed to know to survive, to advance, to better himself as a UDK. Ryder had Superior August to thank for showing him how to turn his grief into retribution.

***

Ryder was there when they brought Honor in, watching her on a camera in a room of laptop computers. It was used as a classroom for the newbies during the weekdays and as a surveillance room at all times. She was fighting. He’d kind of suspected she would. Respect and pride filled him as he watched her verbally scrap with Burns and Nealon.

“They must not have told her anything,” Natasha commented. She was leaning against a desk, watching over Ryder’s shoulder.

Ryder straightened in the seat, his eyes trained on the screen. “Don’t do it, Honor.”

She did it.

Honor elbowed Burns, the one man she did
not
want as an enemy, and took off running.

“She is so dead.”

He tended to agree. Ryder got to his feet, grim. “Come on, we might as well see if we can help any.” He wasn’t sure exactly who he would be helping, but one of them.

Ten minutes later Ryder found himself holding his bleeding, throbbing nose. He hated her. Any nice thoughts or feelings he
’d ever had for her were gone—finished. Honor Rochester was a psychopath. He glared at her from where he crouched, the haze of fury weakening as she fought so hard, as she wouldn’t give up. Ryder’s nose throbbed like he couldn’t believe. Warm, red blood slipped between his fingers, down his arms, staining his shirt, and Ryder couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. That ferocity in her, it was awe-inspiring. Nealon carried her away, Honor kicking and screaming and promising revenge the whole way. She was him. She was him if he’d ever let himself feel anything other than a sense of responsibility, if he’d ever let his emotions take over him and lose control.

***

The days went by fast, especially with Ryder wearing himself out shifting between loathing and admiration for Honor. She didn’t know what her father had done. She didn’t know he’d taken Ryder’s own father away from him. Ryder wanted to stay away, he told himself not to care, but he couldn’t, and he did. Something inside him pushed him to push her, to prepare her. Honor had to be ready, she had to make it.

Superior August was there every day, telling him through the phone to remember his cause, to remember his promise to his father. Ryder was getting sick of him checking up on him, watching him, making sure he never stepped out of line. He was starting to feel suffocated. Especially now, with him droning on and on about the
same things he always told him.
What do you really know about him?

“Your father was a good man, Ryder, a brave man. He died fighting for the organization. He died protecting innocent people from a monster. Are you listening to me?”

Ryder looked up and met Superior August’s chilly blue eyes. Maybe Natasha had been right; he was a little creepy, especially looking at Ryder the way he was. They were in his office at the Owl Mountain UD Headquarters. It was white-walled and had a desk in it with a computer on it, two chairs around the desk. It smelled bad in the office, like decay, or something rotting. He wondered what caused that smell, if it was Superior August. Ryder had been there numerous times in the past and he’d never realized it before. His stomach turned and he swallowed.

“Ryder. Are you listening to me?”

“Yes,” he said, swallowing again. Ryder was sweating in the cool room.

“You’ve done well, befriending Honor, getting her to trust you. Good job, son.”

He’d always felt proud when August had addressed him as such, but right then it felt wrong, like a betrayal to his father.

“But now I’m telling you that’s over with.”

Ryder’s eyes flew to his cold face. “What do you mean?”

“She’s in cahoots with the UD, may have even helped him escape.”

That wasn’t possible. Ryder knew it wasn’t. “No. Honor wouldn’t. It’s not even possible.”

August leaned back in his chair, folded his hands over his stomach and directed his gaze at Ryder. “You don’t know that.”

“You don’t know she did,” he argued, shooting to his feet. Ryder stared down at the man he’d looked up to for two years. He thought maybe he was finally seeing him for what he was and he didn’t like what he was seeing.

He til
ted his head. “Don’t I, Ryder?”

Ryder’s brows lowered a
s his confidence wavered.

“You’re going to promise me something.” August placed his hands on the desk and straightened. “If you see anything suspicious when the UD is found, if she seems at all to be aiding the UD, says anything or makes any kind of action to make it seem that way, you’re going to shoot her.”

Ryder stumbled back, unable to believe what he’d heard. “What?” he whispered.

Superior August slowly stood;
all pretense of anything good or nice or fair to him gone. His face was hard, his eyes unfeeling. “Don’t pretend you didn’t understand, Ryder. That was an order. You want to be something, to make something of yourself? You follow orders. Shoot…her. You can shoot the UD while you’re at it too. Kill two birds with one stone and all that.”

The room spun. Ryder shook his head, sick and dizzy. “Why?”

“That’s not for you to know. Now go. They’re waiting for you. Oh, and Ryder?” Ryder paused by the door. Superior August smiled, showing large, white teeth. “You don’t shoot her, someone else
will
be shot. Someone close to you.”

Ryder left the room in a haze of misconceptions and doubts and a strong sense of betrayal. Had he really ever known the man? He didn’t think so. Everything Ryder had thought he’d known since his father’s death, his whole world, had been shattered and the truth glared him in his face, sho
wing him what a fool he’d been. He couldn’t shoot Honor. If he didn’t, August had pretty much guaranteed someone else’s death. Nausea washed over him and he stopped walking to put a hand against the wall. Superior August had just told him to murder someone, maybe two people. Ryder lifted his head, stared at the white wall across from him. He hadn’t said to kill her. He’d said to shoot her. The relief he felt made his legs shake. He closed his eyes, drawing a steadying breath. The thought of even shooting her was repulsive, but if there was a way out of killing Honor, of course he would take it. Ryder would rather have her wounded than dead any day. He’d rather have her alive and capable of hating him instead of under the ground and not able to do anything.

Nealon, Burns, and Honor were waiting for him in the dark by a tan vehicle.  It was cold out, chilling Ryder. The stars and moon were covered by swirling, filmy clouds. The air was fresh, cleansing. Ryder inhaled deeply, struggling for self-control. Honor frowned when she looked at him and for one second Ryder thought she somehow knew everything Superior August had said to him.

“Are you okay?” she asked, touching his arm and quickly dropping her hand.

I’m okay. I just have to shoot you. No worries.
Ryder had a crazy urge to burst out laughing. “How about you worry about yourself, newbie,” he said just to piss her off. Pissed off Honor he could deal with. Affectionate, caring Honor he could not. Plus it was better for her to hate him.

Ryder turned from her eyes that saw too much. Nealon watched him, his face its usual expression of nothingness, but his eyes were trying to delve into Ryder’s brain. His eyes were trying to pick his mind apart and find what secrets he kept.

He got into the SUV, thinking about how wrong he had been, thinking about how easily he’d followed August’s requests without questioning them, without allowing himself to think things through and decide on his own if they were right or wrong. What if he’d lied to him about his father? What if Honor’s father hadn’t killed his?