Authors: Samantha Towle
“So Erin had a girl,” I say, smiling, at the happy news Jack just shared with me. I hide the little drop of sadness I feel deep inside that I wasn’t around when she was born.
Jack nods, beaming proudly. “Ahh she is beautiful, Alex. Looks just like Erin.”
Good thing, I think to myself. Let’s just hope she’s all parts Erin and no parts Cal.
“What did they call her?” I ask.
“Rose.”
“Beautiful name. I’d love to see her,” I say more out politeness, even though I know that’s probably not a good idea. I do miss Erin and I would love to see little Rose, but Cal, not so much.
“Oh, they’re not here at the moment love. They all went to stay with Erin’s sister after – you know … Sol.”
The temperature suddenly drops by about a thousand degrees.
“Oh.”
“When they come back, then for sure, I know Erin would love to see you,” he says, trying to ease the situation.
I offer a smile. “And how is Cal?” I have to ask. It’s kind of hard to care after what he did to me, but he is Jack’s son. I wrap my arms around myself, more for something to do with them.
A pause. “He’s ahh … you know.” A shrug.
Silence hits us. Cal, not a great topic of conversation. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned him.
“So, Scarlett’s still living here. That’s great. And Craig’s here too.” I could sense them both in the house. They were still sleeping when we left, thankfully. I don’t think I can facbefor’s e them just yet.
“Yeah.” Jack sounds happy to talk about them. “Scarlett’s a great kid. She’s had a rough life, never knew her parents, in and out of foster care all her life – then onto the streets, where those fuckers picked her up from.” The hairs on the back of my neck prickle and a shiver slides down my back. “It took a while, you know it was a big shock to her, finding out the world wasn’t exactly as she believed it to be, but she coped well, and she’s good now. She helps me here on the farm. Craig does too. He’s back and forth from his law practice in Leeds, helping me out. He’s a good kid. And I’ve appreciated his help, both their help to be honest. It’s been tough you know – Sol’s passing, Cal leaving, and Nathan’s never here…”
“Wait.” I stop walking. Jack stops too; turning back he looks at me. “What do you mean Nathan’s never here?”
He gives me an uneasy look. “Alex love … he’s been looking for you ever since the day you left.”
I feel like I’ve just been hit by a freight train. Twice.
“He’s been looking for me?” I can barely get the words out.
Jack nods.
“And … when exactly did he stop?” I have a feeling I already know the answer.
Jack gives an unnecessary look at his watch. “As of about four o’clock this morning.”
“Oh.”
I don’t know what else to say. What can I say? I think I may have actually gone into shock.
“He’s been home, maybe, what, two weeks in total out of the last six months you’ve been gone. Just a couple of days at a time he stays home, before he takes off again. He literally just got back yesterday morning. Luckily really that he had, you coming home ‘an all.”
My mouth forms an ‘O’ again, but nothing comes out this time.
He’s been looking for me for all this time. Why? He’s clearly pissed off with me for leaving and then coming back, but yet he’s been searching for me. I get in the beginning why he’d look for me. Nathan’s got a lot of pride and he’s stubborn, it would have hurt his control freak side that I’d taken charge and left. But to look for me for six months … I just don’t even know what to think about that. Or feel to be honest.
I don’t think I’ll ever understand him, or his motives.
“Are you okay?” Jack asks concerned, at my clearly odd behaviour.
I haven’t moved, or blinked, or spoken, for several minutes now.
Blinking, I say, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little confused, I guess.”
“Welcome to life with Nathan,” he murmurs, a little chuckle, and he’s carries on walking to the woods.
Finding my feet, I catch pace beside him.
We enter in through the trees. I feel the temperature drop at the loss of sunlight. It’s not long before I see Sol’s grave.
A feel the inevitable lump in my throat. There’s a beautiful headstone on his grave now. I wonder when they got it.
Jack walks over and kneels down at his grave. I sit beside Jack.
Turning to me, he gives me a sad smile. “Nathan blames himself for Sol’s death.”
I look at him.
“Just like you do you,” he adds.
I look to the floor. My guilt is etched all over my face.
“There’s not a single day that passes where I don’t wish I’d made Sol stay home that night,” he says.
“You couldn’t have stopped him,” I say quietly. I bite my lip wondering if I should have said that at all. Maybe I overstepped my mark.
“You’re right. Doesn’t make me think it any less though.” He exhales deeply. “I guess we all blame ourselves for Sol’s death.” He looks directly at me. “But it was none of our faults. We couldn’t have prevented it. And I never blamed you, Alex. Never. Or Nathan. Or Cal for that matter. I just wish Nathan didn’t blame himself.” Another heavy sigh. “I’ve lost Sol. I’ve as near as good lost Cal. I can’t lose Nathan too. He’s all I have left.” There’s real desperation in his voice.
I feel panic rising in my chest. “Why would you ever lose him?”
“He’s broken, Alex. Completely. Worse than when he came back from Iraq. Broken over Sol. Over you. I don’t mean to lay any guilt on you. I get why you left, I really do. And I admired you for it. I’m just praying you coming back fixes this a bit. Fixes him.”
“He’s broken, how?” The fear is tightening across my chest.
“The drinking’s bad – no it’s worse,” he highlights. “He doesn’t sleep. Barely eats. He’s lost weight. Basically he’s driving himself into the ground.”
“And you think my being here will help him? I’m sorry Jack but I’m not sure about that. I think I’m the last person who can help him. He’s beyond angry with me right now.”
“You’re the only person that can help him. I’ve never seen him the way he is over you. If you could just talk to him, make him listen, see reason. He won’t listen to me or Craig. But I know he’ll listen to you.”
I’m not so sure about that. He’s got way more confidence in me than I have.
“I was going to talk to him anyway,” I say. “There are some things he needs to know, but I can try and talk some sense into him if you think that will help.” I don’t want Nathan to hurt in any way. Just the thought of the pain he’s been in is suffocating the hell out of me.
I reach over and pick a wildflower from out of tid tm he ground. Putting it to my nose I smell it. I hold it to my chest and stare straight ahead at Sol’s headstone.
“I do think it’ll help.” Jack nods, then reaches out and dusts some dirt off Sol’s headstone with his hand.
I was expecting Jack to ask me what else I need to talk to Nathan about, actually I’ve been wondering when he was going to ask why I came back home. But he hasn’t.
I know I should tell Nathan first. But I also should tell Jack; it’s the least I owe him.
Taking a deep breath, I wrap my arms around myself.
“You’re probably wondering why I came back home after all this time.”
He casts me a glance. “Once or twice.” A little smile.
I take a deep breath. “An Original found me.”
“Which one?” he asks calmly, no hesitation at all.
I glance at him, surprised. I expected him to be shocked, stunned. But he’s looking at me like he was expecting it all along.
“I knew it would have to be big for you to come back. I know how much you love Nathan and why you were staying away.”
“I haven’t brought the danger with me,” I say quickly. I need him to know I would never bring danger to them again.
He looks at me steady. “Like I just said, I know how much you love Nathan.”
I let out a breath.
“Does Nathan know?” he asks.
I shake my head. “We didn’t get that far.”
“You need to tell him. In fact you need to talk to him more about that than the other stuff right now.”
“I know,” I sigh. “I was going to tell him this morning, it just didn’t work out that way. He wasn’t in the best mood.”
Jack runs his hand over his hair. “He spends all that time looking for you, and the moment he’s got you back, he’s pushing you away. I know he’s my son, and I will love him until the day I die, but I will never understand that boy.”
I bring my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. “You and me both.”
There’s a small silence between us.
“So the Original, he cares for you?”
I look at him curious. “What do you mean?”
He gives me a look. A look which tells me exactly what he means.
I want to kiss you … I love you.
Zeff’s words echo in my mind.
I shrug, pointlessly. Jack already knows the answer.
“He said he was trying to help keep me safe, that he wants to continue doing so. He said he isn’t like Isaiah–”
“So it’s Matthias then.”
I nod, releasing I hadn’t told him which of the two. “He said he doesn’t want the same things as his brother and hasn’t for a long time. That he wants to protect me from him.”
“Do you believe him?”
“He hasn’t given me any reason not to.”
“But you left him and came back here.”
“Yeah,” I nod. “I was scared and confused, and I just wanted to see Nathan. And you.” I rub my tired eyes. “I guess it was the excuse I’d been looking for to bring me back home.”
“So if Matthias isn’t out to hurt you, that leaves only one. Makes things a bit easier in a strange kind of way.” He shrugs, probably as confused as I am by it all.
“Not exactly.” I turn to face him. “The vampires know I exist. Elijah knows.”
“Ah.” Pause. “Then you definitely need to tell Nathan.”
“I know. I’m just worried over how he’ll react.”
“He might surprise you.”
“You believe that about as much as I do.” I give him a tight smile.
“He’s difficult, but he’s also smart and resourceful. He’ll know what the best thing for you to do is. And it’ll give him something else to focus on instead of his of own grief. Give him something to fight for. Nathan works best when he has a cause.”
I lean over and kiss him on the cheek and get to my feet. This is what I love about Jack. You don’t need to have a big conversation with him, resulting in an argument, because he just seems to know the right thing to say, he understands. Sol was so much like Jack. I just wish Nathan had the same trait.
I dust the dirt off my legs. “I really missed you, Jack.”
He smiles up at me and gives me that wink of his.
“I missed you too.”
Chapter 24: Warzone
I find Nathan at Honor’s stable, leant up against the stable door, faced away from me. I feel guilty that I haven’t been to see her and Hope yet. I’ll spend time with theion. cam soon, but for now, this is more important.
“Hi,” I say a bit louder than necessary.
The muscles in his shoulders and back tense. His head tilts back slightly, but he doesn’t respond.
I hate this. I really hate this.
Taking a deep breath I wrap my arms around myself.
“How are they both doing?” I tilt my head in the direction of Honor and Hope's stable; I can’t see them as Nathan’s blocking my view, but I needn’t have bothered as he’s still yet to look at me.
“They’re fine,” he replies curtly. “Why are you here?”
His words slice into the quiet air with the intention he means.
Dropping my arms to my sides I curl my fingers into my hands. “Because we need to talk.”
He turns his head and looks at me. “Do we?”
“Yes.” I take a fortifying breath. “Not about me and you. We need to talk about the Originals.”
I opt to go with this first, like Jack said. We can get to us, and Sol, later.
He moves around, wipes his hands on the front of his jeans and leans his back against the wall next to the stable door. He folds his arms over his chest.
“So that’s why you’re here.” I get nothing from his even tone, or blank expression. “What’s changed to bring you back? I’m guessing it’s not great if you felt forced back here.”