Authors: Samantha Towle
“I guess not.” I shake my head. “It’s just pulling them away from their lives. Your dad leaving behind the farm. It must be killing him; I know how much that place means to him.”
“But that’s what you do for family. You drop everything to help them.”
t="0" wers v> I know your dad’s doing it for you, I get that, but you’re doing this for me and that’s makes me feel like utter crap for creating the domino effect.”
He casts me a surprised look. “I didn’t mean just me. You’re his family too. Craig and Scarlett. We’re all a family.”
A sudden rise of tears, warn the backs of my eyes. “We are?”
“You remember back when I was being a bastard in Scotland, and I said you didn’t have any family left? Well I was talking shit, as usual. I said it to hurt you because you were trying to leave me, and I was scared. I didn’t want you to go.”
He lets out a small laugh. “You know, because back then I thought being a complete and utter shit to you would make you want to stay.” He raises his brows at me. I actually have to let out a little laugh at that one. “You have family Alex, the same as you did back then. You have me. Us.”
He thumbs behind him.
“Family isn’t always blood. It comes from friendships. When people care for one another. That’s what makes family. Just like Carrie and Angie and Tom were. And well, those lot in that car back there, are doing this because they care about you, because they love you. Just like I do,” he says.
“Maybe not Scarlett,” I say, trying to lighten my own heart. “I think she’s pretty much confused half the time about what’s going on. Living in her own world. Which is probably a good place to be right now. I might ask her if she fancies a trade.”
Nathan laughs, “Yeah, we’re a pretty fucked up weird kind of family – two shifters, the only female Vârcolac in existence, an outcast werewolf, and an ex-street girl. But we are family. I guarantee you that.”
I laugh again. But inside I’m all types of fuzzy feelings, because the word ‘family’ has coated me, wrapping around me like a life-jacket, helping me bob up to the water’s surface I keep feeling like I’m been pulled under, with the ever strong current, and Nathan has just resurfaced me.
Kissing my hand one last time, he releases it, and says, “I need to make a call.”
He pulls his phone out of his pocket. “I promised dad I’d make sure the animals left on the farm are sorted and cared for,” he says when he sees my puzzled expression.
“Oh okay, sure.”
Scrolling through his phone book, he dials a number, then clicks the phone into his hands-free kit on the dashboard.
It rings a few times, before answering.
“Nate?” comes the female voice down the line. I noticed how surprised she sounds to be hearing from him.
“Hi Beth.”
I notice the change in his voice. For some reason it bothers me.
“It’s been a long time,” she says. “How are you?”
Her voice is lovely. Soft and nice sounding. I don’t like it.
“I’m good, thanks. You?”
I feel like I’m listening in on a conversation I really shouldn’t be listening to.
“I’m well, thanks,” she sounds distracted. “Look Nate, I’m really glad you called. I’ve wanted to speak to you for a while now, I mean the last time we spoke, and well, what I said, I just want you to know–”
“You’re on speaker,” he cuts in. “And I’m not alone.”
Silence.
I don’t know if he said that to spare me, or her.
And now all I want to know is who the hell Beth is, and what did she say to him the last time they spoke?
I’m guessing she was more than a friend once upon a time. Just how long ago was she his ‘non-friend’? Was it in the six months I was gone? I mean, we’ve never discussed what, or who, he did while I was away. I never wanted to ask in case I didn’t like the answer.
Also I hate the way she calls him Nate. Only his family and close friends call him Nate, but to me he’s Nathan. I hate the ways she’s so familiar with him. And more to the point why couldn’t he wait to ring her when I’m not here listening. I know this is something to do with the animals and the farm but Jesus Christ. And now I’m just really irritated.
“I need you to do me a favour,” he says.
“Okay,” Beth says. “What is it?”
“We’ve had to leave the farm unexpectedly.”
“Is everything okay?”
She sounds concerned, worried. I actually want to punch the phone to silent. I never knew I had such a jealous streak.
“Yeah. Kind of. Nothing to worry about, it’s just there’s no one there to take care of the animals. Would you be able to move them off the farm and find them a good home?”
“You going to be gone a while?” she inquires.
“Yeah. So can you make sure they get good homes? Another farmer, give them away, it’s no problem.”
“I can take them in. I’ve got the space, and then you can get them back when you come home.”
“Thanks. I’ll reimburse you for any cost.”
“Don’t be silly,” she says. “What about Honor?”
“She’s with me.”
“Ah. Okay.”
“You’re sure you're fine with doing this?” he confirms.
“Of course.”
“Will you let me know when you’ve got the animals?”
“Sure.”
“And Beth, don’t go there yourself. Send one of the collection guys to get the animals – actually send a few of them, and tell them to not go anywhere near the house. And when they get there, if there are any cars parked on the drive, tell them to turn around and drive away, and not to go back – ever. Okay?”
“Okay,” she says tentatively. “Nate.” Pause. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
I can hear the worry in her voice. Again, I don’t like it. It tells me more than I think I want to know.
“I’m fine.” His tone is soft with her. I hate that even more.
I really wish this phone call would end. I can feel my heart pumping hard against my chest.
“Okay,” she says. “I’ll go now and call you later when I’ve moved them.”
“Thanks.”
He clicks off.
There is absolute silence in the car, except for the sound of my pumping heart. I know she’s doing him a favour, and I have no clue who she is, but I’m feeling kind of irrational at the moment. And I’ve got a thousand questions reaming through my mind, I’m just not sure which one to start with.
Eventually, I have to ask, “Who’s Beth?” Before I bite my tongue off.
“An old friend.”
“Oh.” I start to fiddle with my necklace, holding the pendant, sliding it around the chain. “She an old friend, of the old girlfriend variety?”
“Yes.”
“Is she the last girlfriend? The serious one?” I remember him telling me there was one serious girlfriend that time in the Dalby Forest, the one who left him because she didn’t like who he’d become after leaving the army.
He looks at me. “Yes.”
“And why did you just call her exactly?”
He gives me a ‘were you actually listening to the conversation’ look.
“Because she’s a vet, and she is the only person I know who can take the animals, and more to the point won’t ask too many questions.”
“Oh – wait, is she the one who you got Honor from?”
“Yeah, she works at the RSPCA, well she volunteers actually.”
Great, so his ex-girlfriend is a saint. She volunteers her free time to sick and injured animals. I drink blood from animals, and kill them.
And I’m on the run from some of the world’s most dangerous supernatural creatures, and have dragged pretty much the remainder of his family into running with me, and they’ve all lost their home because of me. And his ex-girlfriend, Beth, who clearly, if I’m reading her tone right, still has feelings for him, is doing the good Samaritan bit.
Brilliant. Just bloody fucking brilliant.
Okay, I know this is probably the worst time to start feeling jealous, but honestly I can’t seem to help it. I’m putting it down to recent events absconding with any sense there was in me.
“Have you seen her recently?” I finger the lapel of my jacket.
“No.”
“In the last six months?”
He gives me another slow look. “No.”
“So what was she trying to apologise for?”
“I don’t know”
“You must do.”
He grips the steering wheel, harder. “No, Alex, I don’t.”
“So why did you stop her from talking then?”
“Because the reason I called her was not to rehash the past.”
“So you did know what she was going to say?”
“No!” He’s getting frustrated.
So am I. Jealous and frustrated. I didn’t know it was in me to feel this level of envy. I guess it shows how much he means to me.
“Did you call her to punish me?”
He looks at me surprised.
“For Zeff turning up,” I add, like he didn’t already catch my meaning.
His face hardens. “Are we really going to do this now?”
I shrug, feigning indifference, but clearly I’m up for it.
“You’re pissed off because of a two minute phone call to an ex-girlfriend so I can get the animals safely off the farm and cared for, because we are now, yet again, on the run for your life. Hmm…” He drums his fingers against his lips. “Yeah, sure I get why you’re pissed off,” he says sarcastically.
“Fuck off!” I curse at him. “You’re such an arsehole at times!”
“And you’re irrational. Come on, it’s hardly the time to have a conversation like this. I mean, how do you think I’m feeling right now? Not so fucking great. But I cast it aside because there are bigger things to worry about at the moment.”
I turn to him, feeling a wave of guilt.
“I’m sorry you’ve had to leave the farm again because of me,” I say quietly.
“That’s not what I meant.” A sigh. “I’d leave there in a heartbeat for you. I did leave there in a heartbeat for you. None of that matters if I don’t have you, Alex … it’s just.”
He sighs again. “Don’t you think I don’t hate this.” He jabs a finger ahead in Zeff’s car's direction. “Don’t you see it’s hard for me to accept that we are going to be with
him
for an infinite amount of time, because we have to be, because I can’t protect you enough, not in the way he can. You think that I don’t feel completely fucking useless?”
“You’re not useless,” I say emphatically. “You’re the strongest, bravest person, I’ve ever known.”
“Aside from superman there in front us.”
“He might be strong, but he’s no hero.”
He snorts a really pissed off sound. “Yeah and neither am I, Alex. You just like to think I am. And you think I don’t see that he’s got feelings for you.”
“He hasn’t got feelings for me,” I laugh.
I hear the break in my voice, so I know he does too. I don’t want to lie to him. But I also don’t want to upset and piss him off more than he is right now. And the fact Zeff made a declaration of love to me a few weeks ago is of little consequence to me.
“Don’t treat me like an idiot. The guy’s clearly in love with you. I spotted that the second he put his eyes on you. And he wouldn’t be doing this if he wasn’t. Remember who he is.”
“Whatever reason he is doing this is nothing to do with me. He’s doing it for his own reasons from the past, between him and his brother – whatever they are.” I’m not sure if even I believe that statement fully, so I know he’s not going to. “Whether he’s in love with me or not, is irrelevant.”
“Is it?” He looks at me, a mixture of fear and anger in his eyes.
“Yes.”
He looks away. “The irrelevance depends on whether you have feelings for him or not.” His voice has dropped a few decibels lower.
“I don’t have feelings for him. I’m not having this fight with you again.”
“Alex, I know you feel connected to him. I see it in you. I have from the moment you got back. And I get it – I do. It’s taken me a while, but I’ve accepted it. He’s your maker. God, I saw how you reacted to Craig the first time you met him.” He releases a humourless laugh.
“I didn’t react to Craig in any way at all!”
I’m angry now.
“And so fucking what if he’s–” I jab a thumb at Zeff’s car in front of us. “My ‘maker’.” I air quote. “I am not in love with him!” I hold my breath for a moment, tears in my eyes again. “He’s not you.”
I can hear Nathan’s own breathing. It’s ragged. He glances steady eyes at me.
The cracks are starting to set in between us again, and we’ve only been driving for half-an hour. We’re going to end up right back where we were six months ago.
Our honeymoon period sure is over.