Otis (21 page)

I shifted my feet to the side slightly and widened my stance. As he continued to approach me, I raised my hands in front of my chest and clenched my fists.

“You see, that’s the problem. You have no respect, no tact, and no regard for authority or anyone who’s your senior. Keep walking this direction all puffed up like that and I’ll knock your little ass out,” I growled.

He slowed his walk, but continued to advance in my direction slowly.

“I’m not fucking around, little man,” I said through my teeth.

As he continued to walk my direction, Axton dropped the microphone and began to walk in his direction, more than likely to intercept him before he got hurt.

With Toad and Biscuit standing slightly behind me telling me to
take it easy
, Cash continued to nonchalantly walk closer and closer, his chest thrust forward and his shoulders rolled back as if he was prepared to fight.

“You’re a cocksucking prick,” he said as he stepped almost close enough for me to punch.

“Don’t take another step, Cash,” I seethed.

“And...” he said as he took the last step separating us.

I swiveled my hips and swung a right uppercut into his jaw. No differently than I would have guessed, the punch lifted him from his feet, and sent him into a pile of motionless flesh a few feet behind where he was standing. As he was now clearly unconscious, and in no need of more, I took a step back and sighed as I rubbed my knuckles.

“Didn’t see that coming,” Axton said.

“Neither did he,” I responded.

“No, the vote in opposition; good looking out,” he said through his teeth as he lifted Cash’s shoulders from the ground.

Sam, now standing behind Axton as he raised Cash to his feet, stood with wide eyes and a worried face, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Guess the party’s over,” I shrugged.

Although I felt my vote against Cash’s acceptance into the club was in my - and the Sinners - best interest, it didn’t make me feel any better. Having Cash disrespect me afterward by calling me a cocksucker wasn’t
totally
unexpected, but I didn’t anticipate it either. Now feeling like I’d ruined a long awaited party, I stared down at the toes of my boots and wondered what the remainder of the night would bring.

I watched as Axton helped Cash into the back door of the house, followed by Cash’s wife. After they disappeared into the house, Axton emerged and walked our direction. As soon as it was clear he was coming to where we stood, I fixed my eyes on Sam and tilted my head to the side.

“Go back over with Syd and Avery for a bit, Sam. I’ll come over there here in a few, okay?” I sighed.

Sam was no stranger to seeing me fight. In her presence over the years we were together, she had seen me in no less than a dozen fights, maybe more. Without so much as an ounce of argument, she slowly turned around and walked away.

“God damn, Otis. So was that why you were late? Pondering your decision?” Axton asked as he stepped in front of us.

“No, just wasn’t looking forward to saying it, I guess. Hell, I knew all along – or at least for the last few months anyway – that I didn’t like his arrogance and attitude, but the deal with Gunner sealed it for me,” I shrugged, “We don’t need anybody in this club that isn’t a hundred percent.”

Axton pursed his lips and studied me for a moment. “Agreed,” he breathed.

“Otis, help!” a voice screamed from my left.

I spun toward the voice. Cash’s wife Karen stood on the back porch waving her arms and blubbering.

“Help, he’s…” she shouted as she pointed toward the door.

I began swiftly walking toward the house as Axton, Toad and Biscuit followed. Upon reaching Karen, her blubbering, crying and waving her arms did little to let us know what was going on. After pulling the door open and pointing inside, she covered her face with her hands.

After an audible sigh, she pulled her hands away from her face and exposed her quivering lip.

“In…the…kitchen,” she sobbed.

“He’s got…a…gun,” she muttered.

I glanced at Axton, uncertain of whether or not to proceed. As Axton took a deep breath, Toad shoved me to the side, pushed his way past Axton, and stepped into the house. As he quickly disappeared to my left, I yanked the door to the side and ran inside the house.

“God damn it Toad, no!” I shouted, knowing he wouldn’t hesitate to try and take the weapon from Cash.

Toad couldn’t stand to be shot again, and although I was sure he knew it, his pride and eagerness to resolve problems wouldn’t prevent him from exposing himself to harm. As I followed immediately behind Toad, Axton and Biscuit were right behind me.

As soon as I stepped into the kitchen, Toad stopped in his tracks and held his hand to his side, instructing me to stop.

Cash stood in the center of the kitchen, holding a pistol in his hand, and pointing it at his temple.

“Ain’t got nothing to say to you, Toad. I want to talk to Otis,” Cash said in a surprisingly calm voice.

“Put the gun down, Cash,” Axton said as he stepped beside me.

Cash chuckled and shook his head, “Sorry
Slice
. Don’t want to talk to you, either.”

“Why?’ he said as he turned my direction.

I shrugged my shoulders, not knowing exactly what to say, considering all things.

“You had to have a reason,” he shrugged.

I nodded my head and swallowed the lump that was quickly rising in my throat.

Still holding the pistol to his temple, he widened his eyes, “What was it?”

“You weren’t ready. Put the gun down and we’ll discuss it,” I said under my breath as I raised both my hand into the air, hoping to comfort him that I wasn’t trying to be a threat.

He shook his head, “Not ready? The year just wasn’t enough for
you
, huh?”

“That’s not it. Hell, Cash, this is just proof. Hell, you’re in the kitchen threatening suicide. How stable does that make you?” I asked.

“Cash please,” his wife wept from behind me.

His eyes widened as he tilted his head slightly to the side and fixed his gaze on me.

“Not very,” he sighed.

The repercussion from the weapon firing exploded into the room. The deafening sound, dulled slightly from the bodies surrounding him, pushed painfully into my ears. As the acrid taste of cordite filled the air, Karen screamed, and Cash fell to the floor.

“Oh my God, no! Call an ambulance,” she screamed. 

I clenched my jaw muscles and turned my head toward the doorway behind me.

No need for an ambulance.

He was dead before he hit the floor.

SAM

Cash’s suicide at the party had hit me pretty hard. The local police interviewing Otis, Axton, and the rest of the people who were in the house made me feel extremely uneasy. Although I hadn’t second guessed my decision to be in a relationship with Otis, two suicides, a random shooting, and a bank robbery over the course of six months caused me to wonder just what the future might bring.

Otis didn’t seem to be too troubled by the suicide. I realized we all deal with death and loss in a different manner, but he seemed to be more concerned with the welfare of Cash’s wife than the fact Cash had committed suicide.

He went on to explain how he felt no guilt whatsoever regarding the death, and that Cash shooting himself was further proof that his decision to oppose Cash’s acceptance into to club was warranted. Cash’s inability to handle the day-to-day pressures of being in the club, Otis made clear, was proven by committing suicide. 

I didn’t necessarily disagree with anything he had said. It didn’t, however, make the entire thing any more acceptable to me as being just another day in the life of a Sinner’s Ol’ Lady. I stared into the back yard wishing for a normal life and far less drama.

Two cups of coffee into my morning and I felt half sick. I pushed my cup to the center of the table and held my hand a few inches over the top of the table and attempted to steady it. As I watched it shaking no differently than if I was a recovering crack addict, I wondered if something might be wrong with me, or if my nerves were continuing to get the best of me.

My otherwise drama free life of the last fourteen years had been filled with the death of my mother, a suicide, and my knowledge of the other than legitimate activities of an outlaw motorcycle club. On the upside, I guessed, I had reunited with the man I so dearly loved, enjoyed time with his parent’s, and made friends with two women who I suspected would be friends for life. Hesitant to naturally accept the events of the last month as being part of
my
preferred way of living life, I found it much easier accepting them as being an extension of Otis’ life, and therefore a part of my life with him.

As I sat there feeling significantly more satisfied about it than I had felt earlier in the morning, I stared at the cup of coffee, almost repulsed by the smell of it. After deciding I was on the verge of worrying myself sick again, I decided to dump the remaining coffee in the sink and make something to eat. The aroma of the warm coffee as I dumped it into the sink caused me to gag, and within a moment’s time I was running to the bathroom.

I dropped to the knees, vomiting into the toilet and onto the floor as I attempted to position myself over the stool. Feeling as if something was undoubtedly wrong with my digestive system or my nerves, I proceeded to vomit the two cups of morning coffee I had just finished drinking. After being convinced I was done with the spectacle, I stood from the floor and cleaned my face in the sink. As I brushed my teeth, Taylor announced her concerns.

“Meow.”

Still brushing my teeth, I turned to face her and shrugged my shoulders.

“Meow.”

I rinsed my mouth and turned around.

“I know. I’ve got to get a handle on these nerves.”

“Meow.”

I stared blankly at her, still feeling queasy. As I studied her, my mind filled with many thoughts not all of which were on my list of preferred reasons for my recent bouts of sickness. I extended my shaking hand, thought of what day I had arrived in Kansas, and began to count weeks, days, and events on my fingers. 

After counting and recounting, I bit my quivering lip and walked to the kitchen. After opening my purse and staring into it for a long moment, my head began to spin again.

This can’t be.

I recounted the days on my fingers and stared down at the floor.

“Meow.”

“Shhh, I’m thinking.”

There’s no way.

“Meow.”

I clutched my purse in my hand and stumbled blindly toward the door. If my math was correct, I’d need to do something quickly and without anyone knowing about it.

Having Otis in my life was the best thing to ever happen to me.

And I wasn’t about to chance losing him.

Not again.

OTIS

Axton looked up from his ledger and closed the cover. I had sat quietly as he finished reciting his account of the patch in party into the book. A creature of habit, and a methodical one at that, Axton kept track of all of the major highlights of his life as a Sinner, and did so in writing for future reference. More than ten years of activities, stories, events, and strange happenings were explained in detail in the many leather bound books, but only in a manner that made sense to Axton. Some might call him paranoid, others would describe him as cautious, and a select few believed he was nothing short of a genius.

Me?

He was just Axton, the president of the club.

“Kind of nice having Sam around again,” he said as he slid the book to his side.

“Real nice,” I responded.

“So, Avery says she’s moving back?” he asked as he stood.

I widened my eyes in acknowledgement as I lifted the bottle of beer to my lips. After a long drink, I stood from my seat and turned to face the door.

“Yeah. Probably go help her get her shit loaded into a truck; might take the Toad and Biscuit with me. They don’t know it yet,” I said over my shoulder as I opened the office door.

“If you’re getting another, be sure and leave that stinking motherfucker in the shop,” Axton said as I walked into the hallway.

No shit.

I tossed the empty beer into the trash can and walked to the fridge. After pulled two more bottles from the shelf and opening one, I turned toward the hallway and lifted the bottle to my mouth. As I walked to the office, I took a slow drink of the cold beer and thought of my future with Sam, and just what it might include long term. Although she and I hadn’t spoken about it, I suspected as soon as she returned we’d end up living together.

Something I hadn’t given a moment’s thought to in the last decade and a half, I now felt almost obligated to do so – allowing us to become as close to a conventional couple as I was able. Axton sat at the table reading from the ledger as I walked in, but closed the book and shoved it aside as I sat down.

“Everything in there that needs to be,” I asked.

He nodded his head and patted his hand on the top of the book, “Looks like it. Just making sure I had everything. Everything alright?”

“Yep. Golden.”

“Well, reason I’m asking is you’re two-fisting the beers tonight and it’s mid-fucking-week. Just wondering if everything in your world’s good,” he asked as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on the edge of the table.

“It’s not your fault, you know,” he sighed.

I rolled my eyes as the corner of my mouth curled into a smirk. “Oh shit, I’m not worried about
that
.”

“Tell you what I told Sam. That fucker shooting himself provided support of my thoughts that he wasn’t going to be able to
handle
being a Sinner. He was weak,” I said as I tilted the neck of my beer bottle toward him.

“Don’t disagree,” he nodded.

I gazed down at my bottle of beer as I spoke, wondering if what I was going to say would make as much sense coming out of my mouth as it did rattling around in my head, “I think Gunner and the entire ATF thing might have made me a little more cautious about who we let in this club, Ax. It’s
our
club you know. It’s our fucking responsibility to keep it…well…you know what I mean. This place, this club, it’s my family. And it isn’t everyone that gets to pick who’s in their family. The fact we get to should mean we’ve got nothing but a good solid bunch of brothers.”

He leaned away from the table and crossed his arms.

“Two weeks ago, I would have bet folding money we had the best bunch of hand-picked fellas in existence. Now, I’m pretty sure we’ve got it whittled down to where it needs to be. And I’ve got to agree with you on Gunner, I’m still nervous about that.”

I picked up my bottle of beer, took a slow drink, and gazed his direction as I let the bottle dangle from my thumb and forefinger.

His eyes widened slightly as he cleared his throat.

“So, something’s eating at you. What’s going on?” he asked.

“Do you love Avery?” I asked as I gazed down at the bottle dangling from my fingers.

He coughed a laugh and slapped his hand lightly against the table.

“What the fuck does that have to do with the price of rice in China?” he asked.

I lifted the bottle toward my lips, paused, and allowed it to dangle beside in front of my mouth.

“Come on, Ax. We ain’t sitting here Slice and Otis. This is Steve and Axton from back in the day - the same two motherfuckers who used to walk to school together every day and have rock kicking contests on the way. Do you love her?” I asked over the top of the bottle.

“That’s a good question. I ought to come back and ask you to define love, but…” he paused as he began to rock back and forth in his chair.

“I
do
love her. May not be in the same way you love you mother and father, but it’s love, that’s for sure. Hard for me to explain, brother,” he sighed.

As I exhaled and leaned forward, he raised his index finger in the air to stop me from speaking.

“Here’s the deal. I can’t fucking imagine, no matter how hard I try – and believe me, I’ve tried – living life without her in it. This stays right here,” he said as he pointed his finger back and forth between us.

“No shit?” I chuckled.

He clasped his hands behind his head and leaned back in his chair. As his mouth curled into the first smile I’d seen on his face in quite some time, he began to speak.

“Just making sure we were on the same page. But I’ll tell ya, if that girl ever left me? Shit. Not only would I be done with women, I’m afraid I’d be done living life altogether. Just watching her walk around the house satisfies the absolute fuck out of me. I keep waiting for her to do
something
stupid, and the day never comes. She keeps me young, keeps me happy, and makes me think twice about most of the decisions I’d have never even thought about a year ago. It’s love for sure, but it’s hard to explain, brother. Hard to explain.”

“Well, you just did a pretty good job of it. Makes sense to
me
, anyway. I never really talked about how
I
felt, except you know how I
used
to feel. Far as I can figure, I never fell out of love with Sam. You know, you and I been single for fucking
ever
until now. Most 1%ers have half a dozen bitches they’re fucking. You and me? Shit, for the last ten years we ain’t had one bitch on our arm. Been telling you and even telling myself I couldn’t trust ‘em. Well, being honest about it, I’d compared every bitch who even looked at me to Sam. Nobody measured up. And now? Come to find out she’s been single for the last ten years or so, and she’s felt the same way. It’s like destiny or some shit,” I shrugged.

He raised one eyebrow and forced a cough, “Destiny?”

I finished my beer, opened the second bottle and took a sip. I cupped my hands around the cold glass, hesitated, and then raised my cool hands to my cheeks.

“Yeah. Destiny,” I grinned.

“You goofy son-of-a-bitch. You’re in love like a fucking teenager. Look at you. God damn, never thought I’d see it,” he chuckled as he leaned forward.

I lowered my hands from my cheeks, realized what I had done, and shrugged my shoulders. 

“You know, about you two being apart for so long,” he paused and raised his right hand to his chin. 

As he rubbed his chin in his palm, he continued, “Being inseparable doesn’t define true love. Being separated and having nothing change between you, however, does.”

I nodded my head and thought for a long moment without responding. I truly liked what he had said, and I felt it applied to Sam and me without question.  

“Hell, there’s nothing wrong with being in love. The
right
woman will make a man a better person.
Finding
her is the tough part. In this case, you didn’t have to
find
her. Nothing changed between you two and all you had to do was admit it,” he said as he turned his palms upward.

“Something like that. I really wanted to make sure you were okay with everything, me being tied down with an Ol’ Lady and all,” I said under my breath.

He laughed out loud for a second and nodded his head.

“I’m fine with it, brother. Like I said, the right woman will make you better. For you, finding the right one would have been extra tough. It ain’t every woman who’ll let a man fuck her in in-school detention when there are three other kids in there,” he said with a laugh.

I narrowed my gaze and wrinkled my nose slightly, “You remembered that?”

He shook his head as his eyes rolled back slightly, “Remember it? Hell Otis, for us normal motherfuckers, it’s hard to forget shit like that. Yeah, I remembered it. Every kid in school probably does too. I’m guessing she’s still that way?”

I thought of the night in the botanical gardens and began to laugh.

“Just between you and me?” I asked.

“In your own words,
no shit
,” he laughed as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Fucked her in Botanica the other night. Got some kid who was wandering around to come hold her down on a concrete bench while I fucked her,” I said as I slapped the tips of my fingers against the table.

“You’re fucking shittin’ me?” he gasped.

I shook my head, “Nope.”

“God damn, Otis. Just some fucking weirdo wandering through the fucking flower garden? You walk up to him and tell this poor fucker you need him to hold your Ol’ Lady down so you can pork her? Jesus H Christ,” he chuckled.

“Kind of, yeah. Had to threaten him with an ass whippin’ to get him to do it,” I shrugged.

“God damn. Well, how’d it pan out? Did she like it?” he asked he shook his head in disbelief.

“Loved it. Hell, she can’t quit talking about it,” I responded.    

“Well, there you go. Like I said, it’s love. Fuck, you may be right brother, it’s probably that fucking thing you call destiny,” he said as he widened his eyes.

“Might be,” I sighed as I stood from my seat.

“So what did we learn from all this?” he asked as he stood.

“Just wanting to let you know she’s going to be around, and make sure you were alright with it all,” I said as I lifted the bottle of beer to my mouth.

“And if I wasn’t?” he asked.

I drank the remaining beer, reached for the other empty, and walked to the door. As I reached for the handle, I glanced over my shoulder.

“You probably don’t want to know,” I responded.

He crossed his arms and swallowed heavily.

“I think I already do,” he nodded.

I opened the door and stepped into the hallway. As I tossed the bottles into the trash, the sound of Axton’s distant voice filtered out into the shop.

“Tell her I said hello…”

Will do, Axton.

Will do.