Our December (2 page)

Second Impression

Alex was on his way home from school when he noticed the house across the street was being worked on, it looked like they were adding on. He stopped to watch wondering how hard it was to do the plans for something like that. Seeing the cubbies built and meeting Jared had aroused his interest in building; the amount of math involved intrigued him. Math was his passion, but equally as interesting, at that moment, was the sign on the side of the pick-up sitting at the curb,
JD Construction
. He'd seen the same truck parked outside the college library when he met Jared. Jared dominated Alex's thoughts, and he wanted to see him again. Alex thought about crossing the street to look for him, but without Clark there to egg him on, Alex didn't have the nerve. Instead, Alex ran inside his house, taking the stairs two at a time, oblivious to his mother's shout to slow down. He dropped his book bag on his desk and looked out the window facing the street. It gave him a clear view of the new construction site.

They were digging. Alex guessed they might add on a room, but he didn't have a real clue. He retrieved his laptop from the nightstand and returned to the window. He held it with one hand, manipulating the keyboard and touch pad with the other. Google could help. In the search bar, Alex typed
how to build a house
. He wanted to know what they were doing, didn't want to come off as a complete idiot the next time he talked to Jared. Alex perused the results of his search. He opened one titled
"how stuff works"
and several more on individual tabs. He skimmed the web pages before closing the laptop in disgust. He set it on the desk. Too much to remember. He wasn't any closer to understanding than before he read it. Well, maybe a little. It looked like they were digging the footing… whatever that meant. Alex sighed in disgust. He wasn't used to not knowing things. He'd look up it up again when he had more time.

Four guys worked outside, but no Jared. Alex watched for a while, but the sun shining in the window made it hard to see. About ready to give up, Alex noticed the front door of the house open and someone walk out onto the porch; Mr. Neely, the owner of the house, followed by Jared. Alex's breath caught and he thought his heart would stop. Jared talked to Mr. Neely for a few minutes, nodding at whatever the older man said. After what seemed like an hour, Mr. Neely went back inside and Jared headed down the porch steps. He called one of the men over to him, and while they talked Alex studied Jared in a way he never allowed himself to look at another man. Jared's shoulders challenged the containment of the white t-shirt he wore tucked into a pair of loose-fit Levi's, his slim waist and hips emphasized by his loaded tool belt. To Alex's young eyes, he was perfect. Jared's lean jaw, strong hands, and the quiet confidence in his movements awed the fifteen year old. Alex couldn't imagine ever being that sure of himself.

Finished giving instructions, Jared headed for his truck. He fished a two-way radio off the seat and stuck it in his back pocket. Tucking his hard hat under one arm, he wiped the sweat off his forehead on the sleeve of his shirt, oblivious to the hair falling in his face. It made him look years younger and the color, caught in the light of the setting sun, blazed like an autumn maple. The sight stole Alex's breath and his fingers itched to touch it.

Unable to believe what he was seeing, Alex closed his eyes, but when he opened them Jared was still there. He was real and not the figment of an overactive, hormone driven imagination. Jared ran a hand through his gorgeous hair, brushing it away from his face, and tied a bandana around his forehead. He replaced his hard hat and the approachable boy was gone, transformed back into a man. Alex couldn't tear himself away. The revelation that Jared might not be as unattainable as Alex first believed transfixed him.

Rainy Day Opportunity

Jared watched the men pack up the job site, hurrying to finish for the day. He didn't like exterior jobs. He preferred inside work because the weather didn't interfere. He glanced up, noting the blacker than ever sky and the wind was kicked up. It tugged his clothes and sent debris skidding across the ground, giving every indication a huge storm brewed. Normally he didn't stop work unless rain actually fell, but all signs pointed to the bottom falling out. He had no desire for it to land on him and, apparently, no one else wanted to be outside for the action either. Tools were stored in record time. Jared watched carefully, he didn't know all the men working for him on this job and equipment didn't come cheap. Another problem with bigger jobs. When forced to hire more men, or contract work out, he didn't always know what he was getting. He waved to the men as they piled into Jimmy's truck. They carpooled from the office every day. Jared would've enjoyed the camaraderie of the ride, but he drove alone. A twenty-year-old boss couldn't afford fraternization.

Fat raindrops started falling as the taillights disappeared around the corner and Jared headed for his truck. He turned up his shirt collar and bowed his head against the wind as he ran. The rain thumped steadily on his hard hat when he reached the truck and Jared nearly ran head first into a kid blocking the door. He stopped just short of plowing the boy over, the rain falling harder, and Jared felt a drop run down the back of his shirt. Annoyance flared.

"Can I talk to you?" The boy's voice was so quiet Jared almost didn't hear him over the beginnings of the storm. A gust of wind lifted the tail of the shirt he'd put on over his tee that morning, a blue plaid he wore unbuttoned and rolled up to just below his elbows. He tried to see the boy, but the kid ducked his head and Jared got an impression of dark eyes and curls.
What the hell?

"Get in," he yelled, and the boy took off around the front of the truck; the backpack over his shoulder bouncing against his back. High school kid, Jared noted, before ducking into the truck. He pulled off his hard hat and tossed it, along with his bandanna, on the back bench seat. He had barely settled behind the wheel when the passenger door opened and the slim form of a teenage boy slipped into the seat beside him. Jared took a quick inventory of the invader, Nikes, blue jeans, a striped rugby shirt, and shaggy dark hair that needed a cut and waved a bit unruly over his ears and collar. He didn't see anything familiar about the boy and wondered what he wanted, but then he met the kid's eyes.

Dark eyes, deep enough to drown in, looked back at him. Jared's mouth went dry. The boy from the library, Jared didn't want to remember how many hours he spent not thinking about this kid. He raked a callused hand through his hair, trying to decide what to do. Sitting in his truck, in the rain, with an underage boy was not a good idea. Sitting here with this boy was insane. Alex attracted Jared in a way the young man rarely found himself tempted, and there was something disturbingly intimate about sharing the inside of a vehicle during a storm. Rain pounded the metal, falling in sheets down the windows, concealing them from the outside world. Alex shook some of the rain out of his hair. Jared watched the puppyish action through cautious eyes, waiting to find out what the boy wanted.

"Hi," Alex said. That was all, just
hi
. Jared glanced at the windshield, watching the water cascade down. The windows began to fog. The temperature hadn't gone down much with the rain and it was muggy in the cab of the truck. Jared considered starting it so he could turn on the air, but decided comfort might encourage his visitor to stay. So, he let his hand fall away from the key after sticking it into the ignition. Several uncomfortable minutes passed before Jared relented.

"Hi," he said back, regretting it instantly when the boy turned his smile on him. Jared thought he was ready for that smile and the way it transformed Alex's face from average to incredible, but he was wrong. His stomach turned a slow flip and he forced himself to look away, once again staring at the water pouring down the windshield, listening to it pound the roof of his truck. He contemplated what to say, unsure he trusted himself to open his mouth.

"You don't remember me," Alex said, sounding disappointed. Jared knew the smartest thing to do would be to pretend it was true and behave as if he'd never seen this kid in his life, but the sheer desperation in Alex's voice made such an act impossible. Jared was practical, not a liar. He turned to face the younger man.

"I remember," His quiet words filled the cab with more meaning than he intended. He wished he could call them back but it was too late. Alex met his eyes with a look of such naked need that Jared's body reacted immediately, even though he knew Alex's real needs were more emotional than physical.
I'm only human
. Jared reminded himself, wrestling his lust under control. Alex was only a few years his junior. He was beautiful, brave, and sincere. Jared ached to pull the younger man's slight body into his arms, to bury his face in that dark mass of hair, and just breathe him in.

It would be easy to reach out and cup that smooth cheeked face in his hand, to capture those willing lips with his, and taste the flavor of newly born passion. Images of everything he could teach the boy filled his mind despite his efforts to reject them. It would be easy to give in, so easy to give this man-child what he thought he was ready to experience. Easy and wrong. Slowly, Jared forced the fists his hands had curled into to relax. There was only one thing he had any right to teach a boy this young and that was self-respect.

"You had a lot of questions," he teased, proving he remembered their first encounter, allowing his generous mouth to curl into a smile.

"Yeah," Alex blushed hotly at the thought of how forward he'd been with this man, someone he didn't even know. Clark had been behind that outrageous behavior, and yet, here he was again, facing Jared and saying the most unbelievable things with no Clark in sight. "I live across the street and I saw you out here the other day. I thought maybe we could hang out, or something." He shrugged weakly.

Jared studied him in silence, attempting to discern if Alex was attracted to him or desperate for someone who could relate to what was happening to him. Hanging out with him would be about as safe as navigating a field of land mines. Jared had no idea how he would maneuver without losing a piece of himself, but he couldn't refuse the hope burning in the depths of Alex's expressive eyes. Deep hazel. Tinged with green and gold. Where the hell did someone get eyes like that?

"Well, I don't know. You're sorta young. What did you have in mind?" He noticed the rain finally starting to ease and watched over Alex's shoulder as the flood of water turned into a steady drizzle. Jared had no idea how young he looked; his jaw clean shaven, his overgrown hair insistent on hanging over one eye. He made it his business to project an aura of maturity and assumed that was how Alex saw him. He thought he could handle that, if he proceeded with care and kept an eye out for those mines. He brushed his hair away from his face, waiting for Alex to answer. The boy shrugged.

"What do you like to do? Bowl?" Alex asked, his eyes lighting with mischief. He startled a snort from Jared who met the youngster's eyes again; he would have to come to grips with this whole stomach thing if he was going to do this. He wondered how long it would take to get used to Alex's smile, things should get easier after that.

"You bowl?" Jared sounded surprised, and Alex laughed.

"No, but it seemed like something an old guy would like to do." This time Jared laughed too. He supposed he asked for that.

"Bowling's okay, we can do that. If you don't know how, I'll teach you. Now, the rain's stopped, and I think you should go home before someone comes looking for you." Alex glanced with surprise at the windows of the truck. He hesitated, and Jared gave in to the urge to muss his hair. It slid like satin through his fingers and he jerked his hand away. Rules, he needed a few. Rule #1: No Touching.

Aloud, he said, "There's a bowling alley down the street from the Dollar K. I'll see you there tomorrow about one. Is that good for you?"

Alex froze under Jared's touch then grinned from ear to ear. "Yes," he said, "I mean, yeah that's good." He blushed again, opening the pickup door, sliding out quickly. "See ya then." It was still drizzling and he didn't wait for an answer. Jared watched him go.

"You are going to regret this." He told himself, but the knowledge didn't stop the grin spreading across his face.

Boundaries

Jared stood in the parking lot staring at the bowling alley sign, wondering what he'd been thinking. Alex was probably already in there, renting shoes. The idea made him shudder. What kind of sport demanded a person wear used shoes? He'd never been bowling in his life. Alex's taunting made it seem like a good idea, now he wasn't so sure. Gathering the rags of his courage, he breathed deeply to calm his nerves and went into the building.

The noise level was explosive, balls rolling on wooden floors and clobbering wooden pins, people talking and laughing, and music playing loud enough to hear over all of it. Jared looked around trying to get his bearings, straight ahead was a big round kiosk. There was a register and a gum-popping girl talking to a boy. The pink bubbles were the brightest thing about her. Everything else Jared could see was black, from her badly dyed hair to the jeans hugging her hips. Earrings climbed both ears and studs decorated her brows, nose, and lips. A tattoo of barbed wire wrapped around one wrist.

Jared studied her black lips and fingernails, wondering if it was safe to approach. He walked forward slowly, and she noticed him about the time he reached the counter. She waved the boy away and turned her attention to Jared, her dark eyes speculative. Jared decided he was going to buy a t-shirt that said,
"too vanilla for you,"
and wear it all the time. The thought made him laugh and a pierced brow hiked up her forehead.

"Are you laughing at me?" she demanded, her expression suddenly stormy. Jared swallowed. He was bad at talking to girls; he always screwed it up. He shook his head.

"Not at all, I was laughing at myself." Her expression remained suspicious. Jared sighed. "Honestly, I accepted an invitation to come bowling and I've never done it before. I was wondering why I did."

She cracked a smile. "Bowling is great, you'll love it." Her enthusiasm made Jared smile. He hadn't thought of bowling as a Goth activity, but he supposed they had to do something besides sit around and brood. She appeared to be running out of piercing room. "Come on, we'll get your shoes and have you settled before your girl gets here, she'll never know."

By the time Jared had shoes, a ball, and a crash course in bowling, he decided that his shirt would have to say,
"I'm too vanilla for you, I'm gay, and I don't bowl."
He might have to gain some weight to get it all on there but it was important stuff. He watched the other bowlers, trying to memorize their movements when someone plopped into the chair beside him. Startled, he turned to face Alex, who had an odd expression on his face.

"Dirty shoes, and why are they so ugly?" Alex demanded looking down at the green and red shoes on his feet with something close to amazement on his face. Jared followed Alex's gaze, they were ugly alright.

"Probably so no one steals them," It was the only reason he could think of. Alex looked dubious.

"Steal dirty shoes?" He grimaced and Jared guessed that the fact he had them on at all was a revelation of how much Alex wanted to spend time with him or maybe it was the other way around. He flexed his toes in the shoes and suppressed a shudder.

"Maybe if we play we'll forget about it?" he suggested impulsively. Alex looked up and grinned.

"Sure, what do we do first?" His question reminded Jared he had no idea at all. The Goth girl had put a score sheet on the table in the middle of a horseshoe of chairs. The section serviced two lanes; thankfully, the one adjacent to theirs was empty.

"Just roll the ball," he said.

Alex looked at him expectantly, so he stood up, slowly. Confession was good for the soul; he should admit that he'd never set foot in a bowling alley before this. He walked over and picked up the ball he decided was about right for him. The lane was long and shiny. He stared at the ball then looked down to where the pins stood, daring him to try. How hard could it be? He tried to copy the other bowlers. Unfortunately, he underestimated his own strength, and the ball soared almost halfway down the lane before hitting the floor. It hit hard, turning heads. It rolled slowly and nudged over one pin before falling into the gutter. He stood staring, unwilling to turn around and face Alex, who sounded like he might be choking to death. His face flamed. The ball return coughed up the ball, but he didn't move to pick it up.

Then he remembered he had another chance. Well, if they gave two chances for each turn maybe it was harder than it looked. He would be careful not to throw the ball this time to avoid the whole flying missile thing.

Reluctantly, he picked up the ball; aware more pairs of eyes were on him than just Alex's. He paused to collect his composure; he hated being the center of attention. The only way out was to do it. He managed to keep from throwing the ball, but instead of rolling down the lane, it immediately turned right and straight into the gutter, rattling its way past the pins without so much as a "how are you?" At least it was over. Alex gave up trying not to laugh and howled. Jared turned to glare at him.

"That was interesting." Alex gasped, undaunted by Jared's glower.

Jared sat down in the chair behind the scoring table. He wrote a
"1"
in the first empty place next to his name and a
"0"
in the next little box. He looked over at Alex.

"Your turn," he said, cheering considerably when Alex stopped laughing. Alex stared at him.

"Do you have something to tell me?" he asked.

Jared tried to suppress a smile but failed. "I can't imagine what, since it's so freaking obvious that I've never done this before in my life." They laughed together and Alex retrieved his ball. He hit the gutter twice, though both his attempts were more elegantly executed than either of Jared's. He threw himself down into his seat in disgust as Jared recorded his zeros.

"Let's play low score wins," Alex suggested hopefully.

Jared stood for his next round of humiliation. He glanced at the score sheet, it seemed like his one might be the only point scored in the game. He picked up his ball.

"No way," he said, taking his turn with grim determination. It turned out that grim determination was not the answer. He recorded another pair of zeros while Alex warily picked up his ball.

"You can do it." Jared tried to encourage him, but Alex cut him a look that said clearly what the boy thought of the attempt. The man suppressed a laugh. Alex did a little better that time, catching the edge of the pins on his second try and knocking down three of them. He gloated while Jared grudgingly wrote down his score.

Jared got to his feet and headed for his ball. He couldn't remember ever thinking about a ball as his enemy before, but this one lay there smug and gleaming, eager to humiliate him again.

"I'll help!" Alex announced, bouncing to his feet. Jared turned to look at him.
Help?

Well, there was no arguing with the fact that three equaled more than one. He supposed he should take what he could get. He shrugged and turned to face the lane. Alex came up behind him, too close. Jared felt Alex's breath on the back of his neck just as the boy took hold of his wrist to pull his hand back. Jared gasped every nerve ending in his body came alive, panicked he jerked away.

"Rules. You're only fifteen, no touching." Jared snapped, heart pounding he worried Alex would read his arousal for what it was. Alex frowned. Jared waited him out; if Alex pushed a friendship between them was impossible. Five years wasn't a lot, but Alex was a minor. Jared shifted anxiously waiting for Alex's reaction to what was sure to be just the first of many rules it was going to work between them.

"Whatever, but that means you have to do it yourself again." Alex smirked and sat back down.

Jared relaxed. He hadn't meant to present the no contact rule that way, it just happened, but he couldn't think when Alex was so close. Alex took it well; Jared hoped he was okay with just being friends.

Jared chose to ignore how much
he
wanted more. He wasn't stupid. He understood his standards wouldn't stop Alex from being touched, just that it would be someone else kissing him, holding him, and loving him. Something inside Jared tore at the thought of anyone else having Alex. Jared turned, took the required steps, and threw the ball as if the pins were the men in Alex's future. His strike stunned both of them. Alex
whooped
and Jared grinned from ear to ear. The boy threw himself into his arms in a hug of celebration, his delight overcoming the new boundary.

"You did it!" Alex grinned, his face shining with pride. Jared forced a grin and stepped away from Alex, his eyes shadowed.

"Oh, I did it all right," he agreed. His jaw clenched and he went to write down his score. "Your turn."