Our End Of The Lake: Surviving After The 2012 Solar Storm (Prepper Trilogy) (40 page)

“Now let me get this straight, gold was over $1500 an ounce and silver was about $50 when this shit hit and you want to re-price everything down? He said flabbergasted at my notion.

“Look Donnie you are talking Fiat dollars, backed by nothing and not worth the paper it was written on. I will buy whatever you got with the green backs I got left at your prices if you want?” I said raising my eyebrows at him, to which he shook his head negatively.

“No I didn’t think you would want to do that. A fine suit used to cost 1 ounce of gold in the 1930s at $35 an ounce, you used to be able to get a fine tailor made one for the same ounce of gold when the price was $1500 an ounce. What difference does it make if I want to trade at a lower price as long as the received value is the same?” I said to him and sat back looking at an amazed Jack and a confused Donnie.

“Well I sort of see your point but I bought the silver as an investment that appreciated in value you see so I was prepared to pay for the higher prices of goods and services for times like these. But if you are saying your Beef is worth less instead of more now for some reason, I expect we can still trade in the crazy way you suggest” Donnie said, still unclear at the method to my madness but seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

“Donnie prices are irrevalant now, how much would you give me for my house and supplies versus that mansion you live in with no supplies? How much is one of these vacant houses worth to us except for what is inside of them if we don’t need another shelter?” I stated a bit strongly and calmed myself by nursing my drink.

“I see your point, I guess, so how much for the Beef” he said trying to get the conversation back on the track that he wanted to barter for some food.

“The price is what people can afford Donnie based on the economy me and you are about to create off this first transaction. That is the price Donnie. When me and you are out of goods or silver to trade how much is a deer that I hunted worth in relation to the number of hours you would be willing to work at say gardening for half of it? 10 cents an hour in old mercury dimes is about $2.50 at $35.00 silver I think, its 3.61 ounces to a $5.00 roll of them. If I sold you a chicken for a silver dime at $2.50 that would be a cheap chicken either way, but if you only worked an hour for it and I paid you the dime to buy it, AM I BEING FAIR? If I sold you that same chicken for a dime and you could sell it across the lake for 15 cents would you consider yourself making a good profit and have a business now?” I declared to make my points sink in before carrying on.

“Jack told me you walked right by a bowl of rotting fruit and were not even looking in the garden sheds before we told you to hunt for weed eaters and such. Jack brought back that bowel of rotting fruit, got his hands dirty and used his head for more than a hat rack and took all those seeds out from them which we will use to start our orchard. I think one peach pit by my calculations with supply and demand put them at 5 cents of old 45% Silver War nickels now. Here is my point Donnie, depending on what you got and I got, we are the new bank on this lake if we try to do any trading. We can create our own economy based on our reserves, set exchange rates and unless you sitting on a million in silver over there we cant do this unless prices are very low.” I told him establishing the basis for a new venture.

“We don’t know how much or what quality of gold and silver everyone that will be trading with us has to offer. They might have different ideas on pricing.” Donnie said pondering my notion and his mortgage based realtor brain coming into play.

“That just means Donnie we do not have to buy or sell to them if they do not meet our set values. Gold is $35.00 an ounce today and silver is $3.50, agreed or I could go lower?’ I suggested and awaited his answer.

“ I agree, never thought I would be sitting on the board of a metals exchange” he said shaking my hand and gesturing if he could help himself to another drink which I told him to just help himself too.

“Now then are you buying Beef for personal use or are you buying to resell if this little Turkey day party works to open up some new markets. When they finally get this grid back up in a couple years Donnie, you wont have to look back on loss of value or have been price gouging anyone and you going to sleep better at night knowing this .” I told him and asked Jack to confer with the girls on what they thought we could spare for this business transaction food wise and not what they thought their cut out of my proceeds would be, before I even got done negotiating. He really didn’t want to stick his head in that beehive but dutifully went off to assist me knowing he would be well taken care of if I was successful.

“If we are going to be a bank as you say, how are we going to handle those people that ask for credit” Donnie said stroking the stubble on his chin. Nobody put too much importance on shaving these days and Jack always had a beard anyway so that Miami Don Johnson looking scruffy unshaved appearance was in for now.

“We issue script of some sort I guess to them, call them Bernie Bucks, or Roland Rubles the real value backing them is the vegetable seeds, beef and whatever else I could convince that team of horse traders to trade us for the value of our silver, the labor of the people and whatever else we got entrepreneur about doing for ourselves.” I said dreading the conversation I would have with them by presetting the metal exchange rates and values to be based on the lake rate of exchange.

“Donnie the price of beef on lesser cuts fresh is 15 cents, Best steaks is 22 cents, we lose some in the smoking process and have to add some cure and labor, I am up for 20 cents of hard money or I guess we ought to value green backs as something, how do we rate of exchange before the collapse say $5.00? Heres the thing, most folks still have some paper but no silver; think about the civil war and confederate money. We can not declare it totally worthless all at once, there needs to be a transitional period during our little reconstruction phase out here, and who knows what Bernie and Roland think of it, until I manage a meeting.

Jack wandered in from the hen party looking the worse for wear but carrying 3 bags of beef.

“The clan agrees to 25lbs mixed, two pounds of the high grade, 23lbs of the three different flavors, and a free pound and a loaf of bread for Donnie to carry home to his wife so he don’t catch hell for that sandwich and drinks he had negotiations over.” Jack said looking worriedly back at the door to be sure that the girls hadn’t sent an emissary after him that would not have been well received by us at this point.

“ 25lbs for a one time discount of 15 cents a lb, is one point eight ounces of small silver coin only or $3.75 in silver Donnie and I wont charge you for the 25 cents worth of drinks you been sucking down while robbing me” I told him and sealed the deal with a handshake and warned him not to get crazy with his pricing on the other side of the lake even considering the security fee and ferrying costs we had yet to build in that he could take up with Jack later.

“I hope Bernie and Roland talk some sense into you about pricing but I am astounded about how fair, no, not fair, crazy you priced this to me and I thank you for giving me a business to boot. Tell you what, I will buy a round or so for all of us and make it an even four bucks, seeing how everyone is feeling generous today.” Donnie said with a smile and a toast to my glass.

“Go get Lisa, If Donnie says its ok, and we will have us a little board meeting on being a united front on this pricing structure amongst this tribe.” I said to Jack and looked towards Donnie for agreement.

“She has been dying to meet everyone; I think that would be nice. You think my house will be ok without anyone at home?’ He said looking across the far shore.

“Stick a light in the window we can see, if it moves or gets shadowed we will descend upon it like a pack of Apaches” I said feeling my oats and enjoying the little buzz I was getting from the deal and the drinks.

“So go get her?” Jack said to Donnie half way out the door.

“She is watching over here, I will go holler at her and point you coming to get her on whatever your riding. Hey why don’t you take one of the 4 wheelers if you don’t mind? I think she might get bitchy riding in the back of that lawn tractor trailer.’ He said getting up and bringing his drink with him to follow Jack.

“Don’t be saying anything like that around Louise. She still is not too happy about that ride from Clanton.” Said an indignant Jack that required an explanation to Donnie about how he had stuffed her in the trailer and she had managed to get stuck before arriving at my moms.

“HA HA! You go take that little trailer over there and get her Jack, unless David here feels like taking the tractor out on a bobsled drive with her in the back. Its about time she learns any vehicle is a good one these days and gets the hell out of that princess house and finds out how we’re living” Donnie said waving at his wife while we were trying to avoid grinning too much and the girls of my camp looked over trying to figure out what they suspected was by the mischievous looks on our faces not a good thing for someone.

“So I hit all the pot holes and washouts on the roads, right Donnie? Said Jack smirking maliciously and ready to go play race car driver with the riding lawn mower.

“Yea go have fun, but be careful, I bet she is not done putting on makeup for this first encounter and going to make you wait on her so if you find a mud puddle on the way be sure to go through it” Donnie said sniggering at his mental picture of his debutante and the wild ride Jack had promised while doing a honey babe wave across to her.

“We can’t see Jack until he turns on our road, we got time to drink one and freshen it up to go watch the show, I bet he claims the throttle is stuck or something as he goes across that washboard road coming in at the bottom of the hill.

“ Man she is going to look like one of those bobble head dolls people put on their dashboards coming across that, I cant even stand to sit on that bicycle seat with the bumps and jarring coming off those ridges” Donnie said and then turned speculative.

“David you see she has been pampered all her life and thinks the world owes her a living, part of that’s my fault but I see you and your crew sweating in the sun working that garden and wonder if and when I can look forward to depending on her to work her best on my side. A little trip to what she calls hillbilly land should do her good. That’s her words, not mine David, if you had not helped me transition I think we would have been in a world of hurt. She thinks that males are cavemen that should be able to go out in the wilderness as she paints her toe nails and bring home the bacon, She has no idea of the planning and risks we take to fulfill that function” He said chucking down his drink and pouring another.

“Let’s go watch this side show” he said and stepped out the door with me to wander a short bit up the road to watch the fun.

“Slow down, are you crazy! Watch out for the rut! BANG! Damn it listens to me! Throttles stuck hank on! We heard from the distance and then they were upon us from our vantage point at the bottom f the hill leading to my compound.

Jack had hit that rough spot In the road several times before and knew to stand up before the teeth vibrating and every thing else hard pan made you check your inside for damage and as he stood up and we got ready for the great event. Lisa made the bad mistake of trying to lean forward to tap on his back to get his attention.

Now I have seen some of the stuff on Funniest home videos that might get close to what happened next, but this was the only thing I personally witnessed that could even compare. As she leaned forward to tap jack on the shoulder and kind of scooted to the front of the trailer he hit the bottom of that hill which caused her to damn near basically stand up and slam back down into the trailer bed, while lurching him over the steering wheel and I watched jack doing the Chinese Kow Tow thing of beating his head three times on the floor but in this case the steering wheel while she had both feet up in the air trying to grab her butt cheeks and doing the wobble head thing, until he regained control of the vehicle and steadied it out.

Now two southern boys seeing such a sight and drinking whiskey tend to not to be able to control their laughter if someone’s not obviously hurt and we were not the exception. We leaned on each other, we tried to think we ought to be concerned, we even hurried in the direction that chaos of noise created concerning the women folk as Jack finally pulled up in front of them. But when Lisa finally managed to get out of that trailer with the help of Jack and the ladies and we looked down into it and saw two little butt cheeks imprinted where the buffalo butt Lois had already imprinted it and we lost it. I had tears coming out of my eyes, and nothing my mom or anybody else could say could take the humor out of it for me.

I mean a perfect imprint of a small ass fitting inside of a big ass in a trailer bed was something this old prankster couldn’t stand not to point out to everyone and enjoy the funny moment. It looked like a photo shop or a Xerox and that the bolt to the trailer bed was in the right place made me flinch with pain and hilarity when I pointed out how it was a miracle two peoples assholes could be so well aligned.

Ok, not funny for some, painful for others, but a story I was going to repeat for awhile, especially if I had a nice glass of an adult beverage.

The women sympathized and crowded around her until her true spirit rose and Lisa started complaining about the mosquito’s heat and lack of the proper company etc. But not to the chagrin of the boys watching a new fiasco we anticipated happening...