Our Favorite Days (My Favorite Mistake #3) (6 page)

“What are you two up to?” she asked, as I moved the guitar aside so she could sit with me on the chair.

“Just trying to figure out how we can get Dusty to move in without Renee finding out about it,” I said. Taylor snorted.

“Well, good luck with that. You’re lucky she lets him spend the night now,” Taylor said to Jos.

“I know, I know. I’m lucky and blah, blah, blah.” Whatever else she wanted to say was interrupted by the arrival of Darah, then Mase, then Paul. Renee had a late lab, so she was going to roll in after most of us had gone to bed.

“If you want to talk to everyone about it, this is your chance,” I said in a low voice to Jos. “Just an idea.” She bit her lip and then got up to go give Dusty a kiss. He wrapped his fingers in her hair and beamed at her.

“Hey, Red.”

“Hey, Dusty,” she said, gazing up at him. He held her and kissed her thoroughly before they headed downstairs together. I didn’t need more than one guess to figure out what they were going to do before dinner.

“S
o, do you have any ideas?” I asked Taylor that night when we were in bed. These were my favorite times. When she was soft and warm and in my arms. I could talk about anything with her, and it was amazing.

“I really don’t know. Renee is a tough cookie to crack. She’s just so overprotective, which is a good thing and a bad thing to have in an older sister.” She rolled her eyes and I chuckled. I still remembered the first time I’d met her older sister, Tawny. I’d been wearing a towel and she’d threatened my junk with irreparable harm. She still wasn’t a huge fan of me, but we got along okay. It was as good as I could expect, probably.

“I could talk to her, I guess. But then I’m worried that she’ll go after Jos and we don’t need them fighting again. It’s miserable around here when they’re at odds.” It was moments like these when I knew, without a doubt, that she was going to be an amazing mother. Hell, she already mothered most of us anyway.

I couldn’t wait to be married to her. To be living in a house together and to see her with our first child. Fuck, that was going to be amazing. Part of me wanted to fast-forward to that and part of me wanted to freeze this moment just the way it was.

“We’ll figure it out,” I said, adjusting my arms around her. Some of her hair was in my face, but it smelled so good that I didn’t want to move it.

“Yeah, I guess. Are you feeling better today?” I took a deep breath.

“I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out if I have another nightmare.” I definitely wasn’t looking forward to trying to fall asleep. I’d debated trying to stay awake, or taking some medicine so I would sleep. Maybe everything would be fine. I hoped so.

“Well, if you do, I’ll be right here to wake you up,” she said, tilting her head up and kissing the underside of my jaw.

“You take such good care of me.”

“Same, Hunter. Same.”

H
e had another nightmare that night. And the next. I had no idea what the hell had triggered them, but neither of us was getting much sleep and I was starting to get crabby and pissy with everyone and the dark circles etched under his eyes were worrying.

At a loss for what to do, I took a moment between classes and called Hope. The only people who knew Hunter better than I did were his family. I’d thought about talking to Mase, but I just needed to talk to… a mom. I needed to talk to a mom who would have excellent advice. Hope definitely fit that description. She was the textbook definition of a mom. She could bake dozens of cupcakes for the PTA, organize a fundraiser, wash laundry and look fabulous while doing it. She was incredible.

The phone rang twice before she picked up.

“Taylor, how are you?” Her southern drawl was a ray of sunshine. I just adored her.

“I’m good. I just… I wanted to talk to you about Hunter.” There was a sharp intake of breath. “If you have time. You can just call me back if you’re in the middle of something.” Now I felt like an idiot.

I heard her say something in a low voice.

“Hold on, I’m just at lunch but I’m going outside.” I started to tell her that she didn’t have to do that, but she ignored me.

“There. Now, what can I do for you, honey?”

This had been a bad idea. Now she was going to worry about him when there really wasn’t anything to worry about. I didn’t think.

“He’s been having nightmares again, and I’m just worried about him.” She sighed sadly.

“Oh no. I’d thought he was getting over those. They were so bad when he first moved in. I don’t think I slept for two whole months for worrying about him.” I could picture that. Hunter may not have been her biological son, but that didn’t stop her from treating him like one of her own.

“He had them here and there when he first moved into the dorms, but they mostly stopped. He hasn’t had any for a while and then they just started up again. He’s also been getting distracted and he seems, I don’t know, distant? It’s probably nothing, but I just wanted to ask you if there was something I could do for him.”

“Oh, sweetheart. I know how much you love him. It’s one of the reasons we love you. You’re a part of our family now, and not just because you’re marrying Hunter. Have you talked to him?” I told her about my conversations I’d had with Hunter and what he’d said.

“Well, I think the only thing you can do is be there for him and tell him how much you love him. Would you like me to call and check in on him?” Those were the magic words.

“Would you? And if you can leave the fact that we’ve had this conversation out of it, that would be great.” It felt like lying, but I didn’t want him to know that I’d gone behind his back like this.

“Sure, honey. I’ll call him and ask him if he wants to come down for another visit. Harper is always dying to see him. And we’d love to see you to, Taylor. You’re welcome anytime, with or without him. You know that, right?” My eyes got a little damp.

“Thanks, Hope. That means a lot. Thank you so much for everything.” I wiped my eyes and sniffed a little.

“Oh, Taylor, you call me whenever you want. Day or night. Or you can just show up on my doorstep and I’ll make you a glass of sweet tea.” Before I met her, I didn’t know that sweet tea was such a big deal in the south.

We hung up and I did feel a little better. Still, I wished I could do more. If only there was some way I could reach into Hunter’s dreams and fight his battles for him. I would do it. I’d do anything for him.

I
didn’t want to be obvious in asking if Hunter had heard from Hope, so I just did a lot of lurking and waiting the next few days. We were both crazy busy with projects, work and, in Hunter’s case, the Steiners. He’d been trying mashups out on us for days, but wasn’t satisfied with any of them. I’d agreed to sing with him and, hours later, was now in danger of losing my voice.

To make the process more scientific, Renee had suggested that we write down each combo and then rate them on a scale of ten. Of course then Mase went and made paddles for everyone to hold up, like it was some kind of reality show. It was all fairly ridiculous, but Hunter was taking it very seriously.

“I just want it to be perfect,” he said, frowning at the list.

“It’s not going to be perfect, Hunter. Nothing is perfect. You just have to find two songs that don’t seem like they’d go together and then make them go together. Kind of like us. Doesn’t seem like we’d go together, but we do.” That made him smile and kiss me, which had been my goal.

“Hey, have you gone on YouTube and looked up other mashups?” Jos suggested. “I can search for you if you want.” She dashed downstairs and was back with her laptop.

“Thanks, that would be amazing, Jos.” Hunter said. She grinned and shoved her headphones on her ears and got to work.

“Well, that was fun, but I have to go back to reading about diseases,” Renee said with a sigh. I shared a look with Hunter. Jos still hadn’t talked to Renee about Dusty moving in. I understood why she was scared, but it was only going to get worse the longer she put it off. It was a real possibility that Dusty’s apartment was going to fall completely apart sooner rather than later. That place was a hazard.

Hunter’s phone rang as he was plucking our a few chords and he smiled when he saw who was calling.

“Hey, Hope,” he said, getting up and heading toward the stairs to give the rest of us quiet to work on our homework. I wanted to go with him, but there wasn’t a way to do that without making it obvious I had asked her to call him. Too bad this wasn’t like the old days when I could just pick up another phone in the house and listen in. We didn’t even have a landline here.

I waited several agonizing minutes until I couldn’t take it anymore, then I headed upstairs. If I got busted, I was going to claim I needed something in our bedroom. If Hunter was a normal guy, I’d just say it was period-related, but nothing about menstruation scared my fiancée.

I paused just outside the bedroom door, but I didn’t hear any conversation. He must have hung up. I pushed the door open and pretended to be startled to find him in the room.

“Hunter?” I asked. He was sitting on the bed, staring off into space, the phone right next to him. “Hunter?”

He blinked and looked over at me.

“You’re so worried about me that you called my aunt and asked her to check on me?” Uh oh. This plan was starting to blow up in my face. Time for damage control.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to help you or what I should do and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone behind your back, but I was desperate.” I threw myself on my knees in front of him, reaching for his hands. Maybe it was a bit dramatic, but I was so scared of ever losing him.

His eyes were unreadable, but then his face softened into a smile. I thought I was going to faint from relief. Taking my hands, he kissed my palms.

“Missy Girl, you are too much sometimes.” I fell into his arms and we ended up sprawled on the bed.

“I really am sorry,” I said, touching his face. I shivered at the slight stubble that met my hands when I stroked his chin.

“I know. And I can’t say that if I were in the same situation, I wouldn’t have done the same thing. But there’s nothing that you can do. Short of inventing a time machine or something, going back and changing the past…” he trailed off.

“I just hate when you’re hurting.” He kissed my forehead.

“I love that you tried.” I held up my hand and he slapped it with his.

“High five for trying!” I said and he laughed.

“Good effort.”

I nestled against his chest.

“So what did Hope have to say?”

“Nothing I haven’t heard before. She suggested that I try therapy again, or go to the group for kids who have lost their parents. I don’t know. I mean… I just really don’t want to go back to that. It’s like ripping the bandage off a wound and reliving everything all over again. I know I’ll never get over it, but I’d like to think I can at least try and live as normal a life as I can.” I put my hand on his heart.

“If you asked me to marry you right now, I’d say yes,” I said.

A chuckle rumbled through his chest.

“Good thing I already did that.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right! How could I forget?” His fingers brushed against my left hand where my ring lived.

“No idea. It was pretty epic.”

I
wasn’t angry with her for going behind my back. I was more… frustrated with the whole situation. Pissed that she’d even had to do that. Pissed that my past was such absolute shit that she got dragged into. Taylor had her own past to deal with. She didn’t need mine on top of it.

The nightmares came again that night and she woke me up even though she was as exhausted as I was. If I didn’t deal with this, it was going to come between us. Taylor was sweet and understanding and an absolute rock, but she couldn’t keep doing this forever. I wouldn’t let her get dragged down into my darkness with me.

So with shaking hands and a lump in my throat, I walked into the campus health clinic.

“Yeah, I’d like to make an appointment,” I said in a low voice, as if someone was going to catch me in the act. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I could be here for any reason. Still, it was a challenge not to keep looking around to make sure no one saw me. I had an excuse all ready to go in case I needed it.

“Okay, what did you need to make the appointment for?” the sweet receptionist asked with a wide smile. She had just a smidge of bright pink lipstick on her teeth. I tried not to stare at it.