Our Friends From Frolix 8 (8 page)

‘Council Chairman,’ Barnes said, ‘this is Alice Noyes, the special occifer who has been in charge of obtaining material relating to the moral habits of your wife.’

‘I’ve met you before,’ Gram said to her.

‘Correct, Council Chairman,’ Alice Noyes said, nodding.

Gram said calmly, ‘I want my wife murdered, by Eric Cordon, on live world-wide TV.’

Barnes stared at him. Peacefully, Gram stared back, the look of animal cunning still on his face.

After a pause Alice Noyes said, ‘It would, of course, be easy to snuff her. A fatal squib accident during a shopping tour to Europe or Asia, she makes them all the time. But by Eric Cordon—’

‘That’s the inventive part,’ Gram said.

After a pause, Alice Noyes said, ‘Respectfully, Council Chairman, are we supposed to work out the project or do you have ideas as to how we should or could proceed? The more you tell us, the better our position, operationally, would be, all the way down to the working level.’

Gram eyed her. ‘By all that, do you mean do I know how to do it?’

‘I’m puzzled, too,’ Director Barnes said, at this point. ‘I am trying, first of all, to imagine the effect this would have on the average citizen, if Cordon did a thing of this sort.’

‘They’d know that all the love and gift-giving and mutual help and empathy and cooperation among Old Men, New Men and Unusuals — they’d know it was so much bombastic bilge. And I’d be rid of Irma. Don’t forget that part, Director; don’t forget that part.’

‘I’m not forgetting that part,’ Barnes said, ‘but I still don’t see how it can be done.’

‘At Cordon’s execution,’ Gram said, ‘all top officials of the government will be present, including wives – my wife. Cordon will be brought out by a dozen or so armed police guards. The TV cameras will be getting it all; don’t forget that. Then all of a sudden, by just one of those flukes that happens, Cordon grabs a hand weapon from an occifer, aims it at me, but misses me and snuffs Irma, who will of course be sitting beside me.’

‘Jesus God,’ Director Barnes said heavily; he felt enormous weight gather over him, bowing him down. ‘Are we supposed to alter Cordon’s brain so he’s compelled to do it? Or do we just ask him to, if he’d mind—’

‘Cordon will already be snuffed,’ Gram said. ‘The day before at the latest.’

‘Then how—’

Gram said, ‘His brain will be replaced by a synthetic neuro-control turret which will direct him to do what we want him – or it, rather – to do. That’s easy enough. We’ll get Amos Ild to install it.’

‘The New Man who’s building the Great Ear?’ Barnes asked. ‘You intend to ask
him
to help you do this?’

‘It’s like this,’ Gram said. ‘If he doesn’t, I’ll cut off all funds for the development of the Great Ear. And we’ll get some other New Man capable of scooping out Cordon’s brain—’ He halted – Alice Noyes had shuddered. ‘Sorry. Remove his brain, then, if you prefer it put that way. In any case, it’s the same thing. What do you say, Barnes? Isn’t this brilliant?’ He paused. There was silence. ‘Answer me.’

‘It would help,’ Barnes said carefully, ‘to discredit the Under Man movement. But the risk is too great. The risk outweighs the possible gain; you have to look at it that way… with all due respects.’

‘What risk?’

‘First of all, you’ll have to bring a top-level New Man into this, which makes you dependent on them, which you absolutely don’t want to be. And those laboratory synthetic brains they’re making in their research centers – they’re not dependable. It might go berk and shoot everyone, including you. I wouldn’t want to be out there when that thing emerges
with a gun and starts through its programming; I want to be a million miles away, for the sake of my own hide.’

‘You don’t like the idea, then,’ Gram said.

‘My statement could be so construed,’ Barnes said, pulsing inside with indignation. Which Gram, of course, picked up.

‘What do you think, Noyes?’ Gram asked the police-woman.

‘I think,’ Noyes said, ‘that it’s the most fantastically brilliant plan I’ve ever encountered.’

‘See?’ Gram said to Barnes.

Curious, Barnes said to her, ‘When did you arrive at that conclusion? A moment ago when the Council Chairman talked about—’

‘It was merely his choice of words, that to-do with scooping,’ Noyes said. ‘But now I see it in perspective.’

‘It’s the finest idea that has ever come to me in all the years I’ve spent in the Civil Service and this top office,’ Gram said proudly.

‘Maybe so,’ Barnes said wearily. ‘Maybe it is.’ Which, he thought, is a commentary on you.

Picking up Barnes’ thoughts, Gram scowled.

‘Just a fleeting, dubious thought,’ Barnes said. ‘A doubt which I’m sure will presently be gone.’ He had momentarily forgotten about Gram’s telepathic ability. But even if he had remembered, he nonetheless would have thought the thought.

‘True,’ Gram said, nodding as he picked up this, too. ‘Do you want to resign, Barnes?’ he asked. ‘And disassociate yourself from this?’

‘No sir,’ Barnes said respectfully.

‘All right.’ Gram nodded. ‘Get hold of Amos Ild as soon as possible, make sure he understands that it’s a state secret, and ask him to get started on an artificial analogue to Cordon’s brain. Get the encephalograms cranking out, or however it is they go about it.’

‘Encephalograms,’ Barnes said, nodding in agreement. ‘A massive, intensive study of Cordon’s mind – brain, whichever.’

Gram said, ‘You’ve got to remember the image Irma has
vis-à-vis the public. We know what she’s really like, but they think of her as a kindly, generous, philanthropic do-gooder who sponsors charities and generally beautifying public works, such as floating gardens in the sky. But we know—’

‘So,’ Barnes interrupted, ‘the public will think that Cordon has murdered a harmless, loving person. A terrible crime, even in the eyes of Under Men. Everyone will be glad when Cordon is “killed” immediately after his vicious, senseless act. That is, if Ild’s brain is good enough to fool the Unusuals, the telepaths.’ In his mind he could imagine the synthetic brain sending Cordon ricocheting about the hanging arena, mowing people down by the hundreds.

‘No,’ Gram said, picking up his thoughts once again. ‘We’ll gun him down immediately. There’s no chance of a foul-up there. Sixteen armed men, all crack shots, will fire on him instantaneously.’

‘Instantaneously,’ Barnes said dryly, ‘after he’s managed to shoot one particular person out of a crowd of thousands. He would have to be a damn good shot.’

‘But they’ll think he was after me,’ Gram reminded him. ‘And I’ll be sitting in the front row… Irma with me.’

‘In any case, he isn’t going to be gunned down “instantaneously”,’ Barnes pointed out. ‘A second or two will have to elapse, while he makes his shot. And if he’s a little off – you’re sitting right beside her.’

‘Hm,’ Gram said, chewing his lip.

‘A slip of inches,’ Barnes said, ‘and it would be you, not Irma. I think your attempt to combine your problems with the Under Men and Cordon and your problems with Irma into one big colorful operatic smash-finale is a little too—’ He pondered. ‘There’s a Greek word for it.’

‘
Terpsichore
,’ Gram said.

‘No,’ Barnes said. ‘
Hubris.
Trying too much; going too far.’

‘I still agree with Council Chairman Gram,’ Alice Noyes said in her brisk, cold-crimson voice. ‘Admittedly, it’s daring. But it will solve so much. A man who rules, as does the Council Chairman, must be able to make such a decision,
to try daring maneuvers to keep the structure functioning. In this one act—’

‘I’m resigning as Police Director,’ Barnes said.

‘Why?’ Gram asked, surprised; obviously no thoughts passing through Barnes’ mind had forewarned him of this – the decision came out of nowhere.

‘Because it will probably mean your death,’ Barnes said. ‘Because Amos Ild will program it to get you, not Irma.’

‘I have an idea,’ Alice Noyes said. ‘As Cordon is led to the center of the arena, Irma Gram will descend from her place, carrying one white rose. She will hold it out to Cordon, and at that moment he will grab a weapon from a too-lax guard and shoot her.’ She smiled thinly, her usually dim eyes glittering. ‘That ought to undermine them forever. An act of senseless viciousness like that; only a madman would kill a woman bringing him a white rose.’

‘Why white?’ Barnes asked.

‘Why what white?’ Noyes asked.

‘The rose, the goddam rose.’

‘Because it’s a symbol of innocence,’ Noyes said.

Willis Gram, still chewing on his lip, still scowling, said, ‘No, that won’t do. He’s got to seem to be trying to get me, because he would have a motive for getting me. But what motive would he have for killing Irma?’

‘To kill she, who you most love.’

Barnes laughed.

‘What’s funny?’ Gram demanded.

‘Maybe it’ll work,’ Barnes said. ‘That’s what’s so funny about it. And “To kill she, who you most love.” Can I quote you on that, Noyes? A model sentence all school children should learn; it parses so well.’

‘Academics,’ Noyes said scathingly.

Hoarsely, his face red, Gram said to Barnes, ‘I don’t care about her grammar. I don’t care about my grammar. I don’t care about anybody’s grammar. All I care about is that this is a good plan and she agrees, and you’ve resigned as of now. So you have no further vote on the matter… anyhow, if I decide to accept your resignation. I’ll have to think about
it. I’ll tell you sometime; you can wait.’ His voice submerged itself into an autistic mumble at that point as he mulled over the matter under scrutiny. All at once, he glanced up at Barnes and said, ‘You’re in a strange mood. You usually go along with everything I suggest. What’s gotten into you?’

‘3XX24J,’ Barnes said.

‘What’s that?’

‘A sample Under Men apartment we’re watching. We’ve been doing a statistical analysis with the Wyoming computer as to the characteristics of those who come and go.’

‘And you just got news you don’t like.’

‘I got a very small piece of news,’ Barnes said. ‘One average citizen, who apparently heard that Cordon is going to be executed, all at once stepped across the line. Someone we had just tested, as a matter of fact. The computer didn’t like that at all. Such a swing, such amplitude in loyalty, and in such a short time… announcing Cordon’s execution may have been a mistake – a mistake which we can still redeem. The “judges” could change their minds again.’ He added sardonically, but straight-faced, ‘I have an idea of a minor alteration in your plan, Council Chairman. Have Cordon’s weapon a fake, too, along with him. He points the gun and “fires”, and then at the same moment a sharpshooter hidden nearby Irma takes the actual shot at her. That way the chances of hitting you can be reduced practically to zero.’

‘A good thought,’ Gram said, nodding.

‘You would take such a suggestion seriously?’ Barnes asked.

‘It’s a good suggestion. It overrides the element which you brought up, as to what—’

Barnes said, ‘
You must untangle your public life from your private life.
You’ve got them all mixed in together.’

‘And I’ll tell you something else,’ Gram said, still red-faced and hoarse. ‘That lawyer Denfeld – I want some Cordon tracts and pamphlets planted around his apartment and then I want to see a burst where he’s caught red-handed. And we’ll stick him away in Brightforth Prison, along with Cordon. They can talk to one another.’

‘Denfeld can talk,’ Alice Noyes said. ‘And Cordon can
write it all down. And the rest of the prisoners can read it.’

‘I think,’ Gram said, ‘it’s a masterstroke of my innate genius to solve my public and private problems with one act, it fits the requirements of Occam’s Razor, if you see what I mean. Do you see what I mean?’

Neither Barnes nor Noyes answered. Barnes was wondering how to withdraw his resignation – made hastily and without thought for future possibilities. And, as he thought this, he realized that, as always, Willis Gram was listening in.

‘Don’t worry,’ Gram said. ‘You don’t need to resign. But you know, I really like that touch about a sharpshooter placed near Irma and me, ready to pick her off when Cordon fires his fake gun. Yes, that appeals to me; thanks for the contribution.’

‘You’re welcome,’ Barnes said, and held down his aversion and his rapidly boiling thoughts.

‘I don’t care,’ Gram said, ‘what you think. I only care what you do. Feel as hostile as you want, it doesn’t matter, just so long as you give this project your complete and immediate attention. I want it done soon… Cordon might die on us or something. We need a name for the project. A code term. What’ll we call it?’

‘Barabbas,’ Barnes said.

‘I don’t catch the meaning, but it’s fine with me,’ Gram said. ‘All right; from now on it’s Operation Barabbas. We’ll absolutely refer to it as that in both written and oral interchanges.’

‘“Barabbas,”’ Alice Noyes echoed. ‘That was a situation in which the wrong one of two people was murdered.’

‘Oh,’ Gram said. ‘Well, it still sounds good enough to me.’ He plucked fretfully at his lower lip. ‘What was the name of the person who was innocent who they snuffed?’

‘Jesus of Nazareth,’ Barnes said.

‘Are you drawing an analogy?’ Gram demanded. ‘That Cordon is like Christ?’

‘It’s been done,’ Barnes said. ‘Anyhow, let me make another point. All Cordon’s writings have opposed force and compulsion and violence. It’s inconceivable that he’d try to kill someone.’

‘That’s the point,’ Gram said patiently. ‘The whole point. It will discredit everything he’s written. It’ll show him up as a hypocrite; it’ll undermine all his tracts and booklets. Do you see?’

‘It’ll backfire,’ Barnes said.

‘You really don’t like my solutions to things,’ Gram said, gazing at him searchingly.

‘I think,’ Barnes said, ‘that in this case – you’re being highly injudicious.’

‘What’s that mean?’ Gram asked.

‘Ill-advised.’

‘Nobody advised me, it’s my own idea.’

Director Barnes gave up at that point; he let his brooding thoughts take over and his tongue became silent.

Nobody seemed to notice.

‘So it’s on with Project Barabbas,’ Gram said heartily, and smiled a wide, happy smile.