Our Gods Wear Spandex (5 page)

Egyptians were extremely syncretic in their religion. They absorbed gods and goddesses from other tribes and cities, even from other nations. It is now believed that Horus was actually imported into Egypt by tribes of chariot-driving warriors who came down from Mesopotamia.
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Horus then absorbed the roles of earlier gods and came to be closely identified with Ra, the primeval god of the Sun.

Today, Egypt's power over the popular imagination is undiminished. Since the discovery of the Rosetta Stone in 1799, an astonishing number of texts left from ancient Egypt have been translated. We see Egyptian iconography everywhere, not just on the back of our dollar bill. The greater legacy of Egypt, however, is in its role as birthplace of the mystery religions. The pyramids and tombs of Egypt were places of initiation for scholars all across the ancient world. Isis eventually became the supreme goddess of Rome. The trinity of Osiris, Isis, and Horus became central to the Hellenistic mystery cults, and some would say to Rosicrucianism and Freemasonry as well. For thousands of years, esotericists have sought to resurrect the Egyptian mysteries so that the power that built those inexplicable monuments can be harnessed once again.

The early Greeks and the Romans worshipped roughly the same pantheon as the Egyptians, albeit under different names. Gods like Zeus/Jupiter, Hera/Juno, Hermes/Mercury, and Helios/Apollo starred in fanciful dramas that were depicted in murals, friezes, pottery, poems, and statues. The gods fought epic battles against their predecessors, the Titans, and later interacted with humans in allegorical parables. Each god was assigned mastery over a specific art or science, or facet of nature. Their icons and images persist to this day, especially in our modern superheroes.

The epic myths of the Greeks all centered around godlike superheroes. The outcome of the Trojan War hinged, not on the armies of Greece and Troy, but on the mighty warriors Hector and Achilles. Odysseus lent his name to the title of
Homer's epic poem,
The Odyssey
, which is still used as a synonym for high adventure. Hercules and his Twelve Labors were a favorite in the classical world, as were the stories of the great sea captain, Jason, and his brotherhood of warriors, the Argonauts. To the Greeks, these heroes were essentially demigods. Reverence for Hercules as a hero developed later into cult-like worship.

The same is true of real-life heroes. Alexander (356–323 B.C.E.), the Macedonian prince who had conquered most of the known world before dying at the tender age of thirty-three, became a superhero in the ancient world. Every would-be conqueror in antiquity measured himself against Alexander. Julius Caesar (100–44 B.C.E.) came on the scene when historians were far less likely to deify their subjects, but he still set a standard to which alpha males have aspired ever since.

The question is raised: were the ancient myths that developed around these superheroes ever meant to be read the way Christians read their Scripture? Were these stories all considered sacred, or were some meant simply as entertainment? The people of the Hellenistic world were not naïve. Their culture produced great thinkers on whom we have built our modern society. It's unlikely that educated Greeks took the gods and their myths at face value. It's far more probable that these stories simply supplied a cultural context that allowed the Hellenes to metaphorically interpret the meaning of life and the world around them, much as Aesop's or Jesus' parables did.

Gradually, the Greeks and the Romans turned away from these imperfect gods in favor of more idealized deities, particularly the great mother goddesses like Cybele and Isis, and dying/resurrecting solar gods like Mithras and Adonis. The merging of these pagan cults with Platonic philosophy and Hebrew morality resulted in the emergence of Christianity, a cult that eventually dominated most of the Western world. In retrospect, it all seems inevitable. The old gods were too fanciful and the mystery cults too abstract. Yet, Hellenes like Luke and Paul simply drew upon this same blend of myth and morality to spin their own tales. And the history of religion always comes down to who tells the best stories, doesn't it?

The Hebrews were always great storytellers, expertly embroidering myth and parable into their tribal history. In many ways, the great prophets of the Old Testament
are the small “g” gods of their monotheistic culture. They were supermen who had a sort of bat-phone to the divine. Unlike the Greek heroes, however, their power was not their own. It was granted to them by Yahweh, and their feats were meant to bear witness to his wrath.

The contribution the Jews made to Western mythology was to present heroes worth emulating for their morality, not merely their strength or courage. Heroes like Moses, David, and Saul were warriors, liberators, and kings, but they carried the added burden of having to adhere to the incredibly complex Mosaic laws of the Old Testament.

Many theologians have pointed out the essentially solar nature of heroes like Elijah and Samson, both of whom are thought to derive from stories of Hercules. Like Hercules, Samson (whose name means “Of the Sun”) was betrayed by a woman. Hercules created the two pillars named for him by smashing through a mountain that sealed the Mediterranean at Gibraltar. Samson destroyed the Temple of Dagon by knocking down two pillars. Like Hercules, Elijah wore animal skins. Hercules was often identified with the Sun, and Elijah ascended to heaven in a flaming chariot identical to that of Helios, god of the Sun.

Following the Babylonian captivity, later prophets were portrayed as seers, which some scholars believe shows a Zoroastrian influence on Judaism.
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They also express an increased messianic expectation. Zechariah 9:9 prophesies that the Messiah would ride into Jerusalem on two asses, a colt and a foal, which Christians cite as a prophecy of Jesus. The “manger” (
Praesepe
) and “the two asses” (
Assellus Borealis
and
Assellus Australis
) are stars in the constellation of Cancer, which the Sun enters on the Summer Solstice.
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This may show that Asian solar traditions had a definite impact on Hebrew iconology. Many alternative historians believe that the solar traditions had an especially strong influence on the Jesus stories as well.

The Norse had a pantheon that included a father deity (Odin), a mother goddess (Frigga), a goddess of love and sex (Freya), a dying/resurrecting Sun god (Balder), and a warrior god (Thor). Like the Greeks, the great gods and heroes of the North were warlike, and their greatness was proven in battle. Mortal men earned their way into the Nordic heaven,
Valhalla
, by proving their courage as warriors.

The Norse myths deal with the gods and their battles against demons, giants, witches, and mythical monsters. In addition to their gods, however, the Norse revered human heroes like the dragon slayers Sigurd and Siegfried, the martyred king Volsung, and the great warrior-maiden Brunhilde. The Norse hero Beowulf was celebrated in an epic poem that is acknowledged as the first great literary work in the English language. Later, English author J.R.R. Tolkien drew heavily upon the Norse sagas when creating his epic story-cycle,
The Lord of The Rings
.

Like Judaism, the Norse religion is apocalyptic and linear. All of history is a progression toward
Ragnarok
or the “Twilight of the Gods.” Ragnarok is the final battle between the forces of order (led by Odin) and the forces of chaos (led by Loki), followed by the end of creation. Like the Hebrew prophecies, which promise a new heaven and a new Earth,
Ragnarok
is to be followed by a golden age in which all men and gods will live in peace.

The Norse legends had a major influence on modern comic-book superheroes. In many ways, the ancient Norse heroes are the closest in spirit to the superheroes in their noble and self-sacrificing warrior ethos. Two of comics' most important creators, writer Stan Lee and writer/artist Jack Kirby, drew heavily on the old Norse epics and legends for their hero, the Mighty Thor. Many of the gods—Balder, Sif, Odin, Loki, and Heimdall—became regular characters in the Marvel Universe, where they play the same kind of role that the Greco-Roman gods played in Fawcett's
Captain Marvel
stories.

All of these ancient gods and heroes took a long and circuitous route back to cultural prominence in the modern world, when the social upheavals of the Industrial Revolution finally summoned them from their long and fitful slumber.

In the 19th century, the Industrial Revolution powered a rapid expansion of the British Empire under Queen Victoria, as indigenous spears and swords were overcome by mechanized firepower. England's imperial reach was such that their motto became “The Sun never sets on the British Empire.” The common British citizen didn't benefit greatly from this imperial expansion, however. Conquered nations were difficult to keep conquered, and the spilling of British blood was needed to hold faraway protectorates. Military recruiters enticed men with the promise of exotic delights in balmy lands. This had a particular appeal for the working classes trapped in the cold, rainy, dirty, and repressed British Isles.

Even if it didn't always benefit its citizens financially, Western imperialism bore fruit in the looted cultural treasures brought home to museums and universities. For along with colonialism came a relentless, worldwide campaign of archaeological exploration. Discoveries in Egypt rekindled an interest in Egyptian mysticism, particularly in Britain and France. One of the most important Egyptologists, Sir William Matthew Flinders Petrie (1853–1942), was responsible for excavations at sites like Abydos and Amarna. Petrie discovered the “Merneptah Stele,” an account of the military conquests of Pharaoh Amenhotep III, who ruled in the 14th century B.C.E. This stele is called the “Israel Stele” because it is the earliest known text to mention the kingdom of Israel.
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Another famous Egyptologist was Sir Ernest Alfred Thompson Wallis Budge (1857–1934), who is responsible for many of the translations of ancient Egyptian texts still in print today, including
The Papyrus of Ani
, better known as
The Egyptian Book of the Dead
. Budge also wrote extensively on Egyptian religion, influencing writers like William Butler Yeats and James Joyce, as well as occult groups seeking to revive the Egyptian mystery religions. Sir James Frazer drew extensively on Budge's work in his landmark work on mythology,
The Golden Bough
.

The most important event in modern Egyptology is the discovery of the tomb of the young King Tutankhamun (better known as “King Tut”) in the Valley of the Kings in November 1922. Led by British Egyptologist Howard Carter, the excavation of Tut's untouched burial chamber produced an amazing wealth of artifacts. The discovery of the tomb reignited the Egyptology craze, just in time for the rise of the pulp magazines. The early deaths of Carter's patron, Lord Carnarvon, and others involved in the Tut excavation had a powerful influence on pulp fiction, since it was widely believed to be the result of “the Curse of King Tut's Tomb.” Cursed tombs soon became a staple in pulp and comic-book stories, and figured in the origins of Golden Age superheroes like Hawkman and Doctor Fate.

The Victorian Era also saw a craze for all things “Oriental.” At the forefront of this movement was Sir Richard Francis Burton (1821–1890), a soldier, mercenary, explorer, writer, translator (he reportedly spoke twenty-nine languages), and diplomat. Not surprisingly, he was also a Freemason. Burton was best known for
extensive travels in Asia and Africa, traveling to Mecca in Arab dress and leading an expedition to find the source of the Nile in 1856. He also became famous for his translation of
The Arabian Nights
. Burton made the Orient seem alluring and intoxicating, and by doing so helped loosen the stranglehold that Puritanism still had on British society. Burton's promise (or implied promise) of high adventure in foreign lands became a major influence on the globe-trotting heroes of popular fiction.

Adding to the social ferment in late 19th-century America were a number of radical political movements. The Woman's Suffrage movement, led by activists like Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and the Civil Rights movement, led by men like Frederick Douglass and Booker T. Washington, came to prominence at the same time that political movements like anarchism and socialism arrived on the East Coast with waves of immigrants from Europe.