Our Song (10 page)

Chapter Thirteen

Becca

Since I slept almost the entire day away, I can’t sleep now. I’m still feeling totally wiped out, but my brain just won’t shut off. What if Trip finds me? What if he hurts me? What if he hurts Asher? Or my parents, or my sister…I can’t let that happen. But how on earth would I stop him?

The tears start to drip down my face, one at a time. After all of the crying I’ve done today, I can’t imagine how there are any tears left inside my body.

Pressing charges
. Those were the words my dad spoke to Trip’s parents just before he made me block Trip in every way possible. He even called the cell phone company and had my phone number changed.
He’s threatening your life
, he said. Which we apparently need to take seriously. When Dad called Trip’s parents to let them know what was going on, they actually searched his room. And what they found…it gives me the heebie jeebies.

After Trip and I weren’t together anymore, I didn’t see him. Ever. Not even in the hallways at school. He never tried to talk to me. Or contact me in any other way.

But he was watching me. He keeps a journal; I didn’t know that. When his parents read through it today, they got worried…for me.

When I first separated myself from Trip in April, he wrote in his journal that he was very depressed, questioning whether or not he wanted to live. Then he started writing ways he thought he could get me back. Things he could say or do to convince me that we should be together. That in itself wouldn’t seem so bad. But then he started expressing his hatred toward me for not only leaving him, but because he believed that I was spending time with other guys; specifically, that I had been spending a lot of time with Asher. One day he even wrote the first stanza of the lyrics from “Run for Your Life” by the Beatles. I wouldn’t even have known that was of any significance…but my dad has the
Rubber Soul
album on vinyl, and I’ve been listening to it for most of my life.

In Trip’s desk, they found, printed out, everything that was posted on my Facebook wall, and my Twitter feed, highlighting anything to or from a member of the opposite sex, from April 11th to yesterday, which is the day before he left to move into the dorms at UW. Which is only an hour away from here.

Trip. Here. That possibility is almost more than I can handle.

And then, when I found out what he'd done to Livvie? I wanted to go find him myself and murder him in his sleep. There was a reason Livvie said she didn't want to get involved if she didn't have to. And it makes me sick.

Back in February, Trip gave Livvie a ride home from school one day when I had to stay late for an extra band rehearsal. When they were a few blocks from our house, Trip put his hand on her thigh, and made a move toward more inappropriate places. Livvie flung his hand from her, and asked him what the hell he thought he was doing.

When he pulled into the driveway, he grabbed her face with his hand, and told her if she ever told anyone about it, he would kill her. And she believed him...as she probably should.

I haven’t said anything aloud, or made any other indication that I’m even awake. But as if Asher could hear every one of my thoughts, he reaches his arm over the edge of his bunk and hangs his hand down to me, silently offering me a lifeline. I look to the other side of the room where my sister is in bed. It’s obvious she is out like a light, so it’s not like she would see. When I don’t make a move to take his hand, he wiggles his fingers toward me. When I still don’t reach out to him, he leans his face over the edge of his bunk, looking right into my eyes with his eyebrows raised. My eyes begin to well up with new tears.

I don’t know what I’m doing, but I can’t help but accept the comfort he is offering me. I’m not sure exactly what this means for me, for us. But I don’t think I can do this alone anymore. And I don’t think I want to.

-----

Asher

Thank God.
For a minute there, I wasn’t sure she was going to accept my help. And I am feeling pretty helpless. It may not seem like much, but holding Becca’s hand is about the only comfort I can offer her…well, at least with her sister sleeping in the same room.

I’m pretty sure Becca doesn’t want me to see her crying, so I slide back over on my bed until I can lay my head back down on my pillow, without letting go of her hand. I wish so badly that I could climb down there and hold her. Kiss the tears off her cheeks. Whisper in her ear that everything will be alright. That I’m here for her, no matter what.

I squeeze Becca’s hand, to let her know I’m still thinking about her. But then I can feel her pulling against me. Not like she wants me to let go, but like she’s shaking. Hard. I pull myself back over to look down at her, and she’s on her side, sobbing.

Screw Livvie sleeping in here. I don’t even care if she tells all of our parents. They’ll understand. And if they don’t…well, I just don’t care. I refuse to let Becca feel even remotely like she’s alone in all of this. I squeeze her hand again, to let her know that I’m not letting go for good, then release her hand so I can climb back down from the top bunk. I pull back the covers a bit so I can slide in with her.

As I’m getting under the covers, Becca turns to face me, and buries her head in my chest, wrapping her arms around my torso. I pull her tighter against me, with one hand resting on the back of her head, the other on the small of her back.

And that’s how we stay, for hours, saying nothing out loud. But still saying everything that needs to be said by continuing to hold one another, until finally Becca falls asleep. I don’t want to let her go, but I know, for now at least, it’s easiest to avoid Livvie’s (and our parents for that matter) scrutiny.

As much as I want to be with Becca, I don’t want anything that she doesn’t want. So until she says the word…I guess I’ll do the best to be here for her, as her friend.

August 17, 2014

I can’t believe I forgot to pack my journal this morning before I drove up here for move-in day. I guess this notebook will have to do until I visit home. I don’t really need the notes anymore anyway.

Becca probably thinks I can’t find her now. I tried to text her again, but it bounced back to me: undeliverable. Then I went on Facebook to see if there were any more posts about where she is, or what she’s doing, but I can’t find her. Or her sister. Or that dumb-ass who thinks he can steal my girlfriend. They’re gone from Twitter too.

But I already have the address for that candy store saved in my phone. I can wait them out. They’ll have to come into, or through, town at some point.

Tuesday…Tuesday I will find her. And she will answer to me.

Chapter Fourteen

Becca

“So, since you lost—again—what are we playing this time?” I ask, with what I hope is a cheeky grin on my face.

“I didn’t lose, I forfeited. But that’s just semantics. Anyway, I think I’ve finally come up with a game that you have never beat me at. We’re going to play Phase 10. And since everyone is sort-of stuck inside, with the thunderstorm going on outside, our parents and Livvie can play too.”

This could be interesting. Although I’ve never beat him before, we all know that card games are games of luck, no matter how good our strategy is. But—“If there’s seven of us playing, what if neither one of us wins this one?”

“Ah, you seem to forget that even if we are not the person to get through phase ten first, we still keep score.”

“This is true. So, are we telling our families that there is a bet on the line before we play? Oh, and what are you playing for this time around?”

His Cheshire smile is huge on his face. “Oh, we are
definitely
telling our families that we’re betting, and what it is that we want if we win. I am thinking all of our parents, and maybe even your sister, will help me out, however they can, to make sure I win this one.”

“Oh really? And what are you playing for that’s so good it makes you think they won’t help me to beat you in this game?”

“Well,” Asher begins, “if I win, you have to bring me breakfast in bed tomorrow.”

“And why would our families help you win that?”

“Because it is a very specific breakfast you will be bringing me in bed.” Asher pauses for dramatic effect. “Blueberry breakfast cake.”

Dang.
He’s right. Our families really will want to help him win that. What could I place my bet for that might swing them my way?

Asher’s grin doesn’t go away when he says, “So. What are you gonna play for? Because I don’t think you can beat that when it comes to our families.”

I take a deep breath, but come up with nothing. “Well, I’ll be honest. I’m not sure I can beat that either. But give me a minute to think about it.”

“You go right ahead and think away. I’ll go downstairs and get the cards, and you can tell me what you want if you win when we tell our families what we’re playing for.”

As he heads down the stairs, I walk over to the couch where Livvie is hovering over her phone and pull her ear buds out. “Hey!” she shouts.

I ruffle her hair and she swats my hand away. “Calm down, Liv. We’re gonna play Phase 10, and Asher says we’re all playing.”

Livvie smooths her hair. “Oh. Well I guess that doesn’t sound so bad. It might even be fun. I do wish it would stop raining though. I’m losing hours of sunlight!”

I just smile and shake my head. “Olivia, you are plenty tan already. And it will be good for you to be social face-to-face for a while, instead of just digitally.”

She sticks her tongue out at me and says, “I am plenty social. And you know it.”

“I know,” I sigh. “But seriously, put your phone away, or at least on silent, and come play with us.”

Livvie grabs my arm and says, "Hey, Becca?"

I wrinkle my brow. "Yeah?"

"I just--I just wanted to say I'm sorry for not telling you, about, you know. The thing with Trip."

I wrap my sister up in a hug. It's not often I get the urge to be touchy feely with Livvie, so at first she just freezes. But after a couple moments, she wraps her arms around me as well.

"Livvie, there's nothing to apologize for. He threatened you, and that's not okay. And I know I may not say it much, but I love you, and your life is worth much more to me than anything you did or didn't tell me."

Both of us let go, and she says, "I know. But I'm still sorry. And I love you too, even if you are my bossy older sister." Each of us breathes a sigh of relief and we grin at each other.

We both walk over to the dining table and she helps me clear it off without me asking. She really is a good kid, even if she is my annoying little sister. “Livvie, I need some help. Asher and I have a little…bet going on. And when one of us wins a game, we get whatever we put up for the bet before we play. Asher is asking to be served blueberry breakfast cake for breakfast tomorrow, and he thinks everyone will help him win because they want to eat it too.”

“Mmm. That does sound good. So what do you need my help with?”

I pick up the salt and pepper shakers and move them to the counter. “I need to bet something that everyone will help me win, instead of breakfast.”

“Becs, that’s going to be a hard sell. Everyone loves your blueberry breakfast cake. Including me.” She grabs the newspaper and moves it to the end table in the living room.

“I
know
, Olivia. I’ve been trying to come up with something since Asher told me what he wants if he wins, and I’m drawing a blank. Can you think of
anything
that at least might make it a fair game?”

She pauses, tapping her index finger on her lips. Then her eyes shoot wide open. “I’ve got it!”

Right when I’m about to ask Livvie what she’s thought of, taking the centerpiece off the table to move it out of our way, Asher gets to the top of the stairs, followed by all of our parents. “I scrounged up some players for our game,” he says with a grin.

“Scrounged up?” I ask. “Or told your evil plan to make everyone help you beat me so that I have to make everyone’s favorite breakfast?”

“That’s for me to know, and you to find out. Did you finally decide what you want if you win?”

“Yes,” Livvie jumps in. “She did. If Becca wins, Asher has to go into Rush and get everyone a half pound of their favorite fudge.”

“Hey! I only said that Becca had to make me breakfast, and serve it to me in bed. How come she gets to request it for everyone if she wins?”

“Asher, Asher, Asher,” Livvie says, shaking her head back and forth. “You know that if Becca makes blueberry breakfast cake,
everyone
is going to get to eat blueberry breakfast cake. She needs to fight fire with fire.”

Asher puts his hands up and sighs. “Alright, alright. I don’t want to start a fight with you, Olivia.”

She grins. “No, you certainly don’t; I would win.”

Everyone laughs at that as they take their seats around the table. Asher and I are sitting directly across from each other, and shockingly my
mother
sits down right next to him. Cupping her hand next to her mouth to supposedly stop the rest of us from hearing, she stage whispers, “Don’t worry Asher, we’ve got this in the bag. Rich doesn’t even really like fudge. And I really want that breakfast cake.”

“Mom!” I fake scold. “How could you abandon me in my hour of need?”

“Sorry Becs. I love you, but I love your blueberry breakfast cake more.” She winks, and all I can do is laugh.

“Okie dokie, everybody. Enough with the smack talk. I’m dealing first,” Livvie says, tapping the deck on the table twice, wearing a very stern look on her face. As she shuffles she reminds everyone, “Phase one is two sets of three.” Livvie begins shooting cards to everyone in a clockwise pattern. Once everyone has their ten cards, she turns to her left to face me. “Becca,” she says in a very serious, yet very haughty voice. “You are up first. May the odds be
ever
in your favor.”

Everyone except Asher’s dad immediately cracks up. Robert’s eyebrows are drawn together, and he looks around the table at everyone. When the laughter has almost died down he asks, “Why is that funny?”

A few more giggles escape Livvie and me while Laura pats him on the shoulder. “Never mind dear. Let’s just play the game.”

-----

Asher

“This could be it, everybody!” Livvie squeals. “It could be the last round! Mom is on phase ten, and Asher and Becca are only twelve points apart.”

It’s been really fun seeing Livvie so invested in who wins this game. Olivia and Becca don’t hate each other or anything, but they aren’t exactly best friends either. And the smile that pops up on Becca’s face each time her sister does something to help her out is priceless.

As I shuffle the deck, I take a peek at Becca. She’s spinning her ring around her finger again, which means she is definitely nervous about not winning. For a while, Becca had been leading in the phases. I was beginning to think she was never going to miss a phase, and apparently she had thought so as well. For the first four phases, she had been so worried about completing it and going out before everyone else that she would hold her entire phase in her hand until she could lay it down
and
go out. A good strategy to throw everyone off, but not-so-good when you’re stuck with three wild cards in your hand, and your mom shocks everyone by going out in two rounds. Up until then, Becca had been kicking butt and taking names. In fact, everyone had begun teasing her that she was cheating. Then her mom pulled a Becca and laid down her entire phase four
and
went out before anyone else could finish a phase. Man, you should have seen Becca’s face! Seventy-five points just from her wild cards, not to mention the rest of her cards were ten counts. She went from zero points to 145, and has been battling to not let it get any higher ever since.

The cards are dealt, thanks to Livvie, and everyone goes quiet. We’re all holding our breath, as if someone where diffusing a bomb around us. The cards in my hand are almost comical. I try not to smile as I look up and see Becca’s eyes wide with sheer horror. I know that look; nothing goes together. For me, it’s the exact opposite. Phase eight is one of my favorites: seven cards of one color. And today, my favorite color is blue. I have two wild cards, a red 7 and 4, a green 2, a yellow 9, and four blue cards.

“So,” I say, breaking the silence. “How come none of you ever told me about Becca’s mad skills at Don’t Break the Ice?”

Amy busts out laughing, and Rich has a huge grin on his face. Looking Becca right in the eye, Rich replies, “I take it our vow of silence no longer applies?”

“Oh hush, Dad.” A blush is creeping up Becca’s neck and onto her face.

“Becca swore us all to secrecy when she was, oh, about nine I think? So I suppose that’s how you never found out about it,” Amy says now that she’s stopped laughing.

Becca shakes her head, taking a card from the pile, and exchanges it with one of her high cards. Amy is next and grabs the high card, smiling, and then discards a green 9.

“That’s not very helpful, Amy. I thought we were trying to win some blueberry breakfast cake!”

“I’m trying here, Asher. Plus, you really want me to finish this phase, unless you have really bad cards in your hand.”

I choose not to answer her as I draw a red 6. I place it in my hand and discard my green 2 in case someone else lays down red cards that I can play on later. Rich and my mom take their turns, and then Dad draws a card and discards a blue 3. Livvie whoops and hollers while she picks up the blue 3 and lays down her phase, seven blue cards.

Crap!
This is not a good sign. I can’t believe we were both looking for the same color. I really hope I can find another blue card before she goes out for this hand! Play continues around the table with people drawing and discarding until it's Becca's turn again. She draws a card and immediately throws it down in a huff. Obviously not what she wanted. Her mom swipes up the card Becca discarded and smiles wildly. She pauses for dramatic effect, lays out her tenth phase, and then discards a skip card.
Craptastic!
“Again, Amy.
Not. Helpful
.” Now all I can do is hope no one else gets the cards they need to go out before I finally get another turn. Livvie gets a wild card and plays it on her phase, but luckily she can't go out.

Just as I thought things were looking up, both Becca’s dad and my mom, who have been pretty quiet throughout the entire game, lay down their phases as well. Mom had eight red cards, but obviously no blue ones, because she would have thrown one on Livvie's cards and gone out. Becca's dad is a phase ahead of me so he lays down five 5s and two 9s and then discards a skip. By now Becca is outwardly flustered. Nothing is going her way and three people have completed their phases. Amy picks up a card and immediately discards it. It's a blue 7! Wait a minute. That means I have five blue cards, plus my two wild cards so I can complete my phase. But not only that, I also have two red cards and a yellow 9. The smile on my face grows so wide I can't contain it.

To go out I have to discard so I lay down my phase first. “Tardis blue, baby.” Then I lay down my red 7 and 6. I pretend to be looking at my last two cards to determine what to discard, but then surprise everyone by laying down the yellow 9 on Becca's dad's cards and discarding my red 4. “Boom! Game over!”

***

After being cooped up all morning, Becca and I decide to take a little walk now that the rain has stopped. We’ve been walking through a wooded area for a few minutes when we come up on running water. I lay my sweatshirt on a downed tree, and we sit watching the little creek run by on its way to the lake. We’re both quiet for a long moment. But it’s not an uncomfortable silence. With the exception of the last nine months or so, this is the way that we’ve always been. Relaxed, content, even when no one is talking.