Out Of Place (Face the Music Book 2) (9 page)

“Must be hard.”

She nodded, her throat closing up for a moment. She hadn’t expected him to understand—or pretend to understand.

He paid the bill without accepting her offer to pay her share. When they walked out, he was on her bad side and could only see him when she turned her head, and that looked odd. So she didn’t.

He moved, she turned and what should have been their first kiss became an awkward miss. The ground didn’t swallow her the way it should have. Instead she was left blushing on the footpath while people moved around them.

“I’m sorry.” She had to tell him, saying nothing would be worse. He might think that she didn’t want to kiss him. “I have no peripheral vision on that side.” She touched her right cheek.

He’d wanted to kiss her and she’d botched it. What a loser.

Ed took a step and stood in front of her. His fingers grazed her jaw. “I didn’t know. I thought it was my pizza breath.”

She almost laughed, but it was kind of choked. “You’re not supposed to know.” She didn’t want people treating her differently.

He was still touching her. “Can I try again?”

“Yes.” It was hard to say no when he was standing so close. When his eyes were bright with desire and her skin felt as though electricity was dancing over her with every heartbeat.

She swallowed and held his gaze. He really wanted to kiss her. She’d been thinking about what it would be like all through lunch.

He leaned in and his lips brushed hers. She held her breath, needing more. For a few seconds they were the only two people in the world and she could pretend that she was desirable. Her toes curled against her sandals. She wanted more than a simple kiss. The dam was starting to break and all the lust she’d bottled up was ready to spill over. Her hand lifted, grazed his chest and landed on his shoulder.

His tongue flicked against her lip, but before the kiss could deepen he pulled away and she became aware of the bustle on the street around them. He was standing so close. One tiny step and she’d be pressed against him. She shivered despite the heat of the day.

“I’ll come and see you after a surf next week.” He gave her hand a squeeze and then walked away, leaving her wanting more.

Sunday dinner was at Julie’s house. Once a month the family got together. This time it was Julie’s turn to host. She’d done the usual, apologising for the mess because everything was so hectic at the moment—Olivia had looked hard to try and find the mess and had failed. Nothing was out of place. It was like walking into a picture in a magazine. All that was missing was the little notation about what each item was worth and where it could be bought, although she was sure Julie would happily share that information.

Julie had already reminded Olivia to keep Ethan away from the precious trinkets she had scattered around the place. Somehow Julie managed to look at Ethan like he was an annoying speck of dirt while managing to sound polite.

Shaun, Julie’s fiancé, was still in his business suit and so was Julie. Once Olivia had dressed up, but it wasn’t what she wore that was the problem. It was that she was there. That somehow she reflected badly on Julie because she wasn’t on the career fast track. As Olivia sipped her wine and made sure that Ethan didn’t accidentally wipe his hands on the white fabric of the chairs—one day Julie would have kids and watching her freak about the mess would be awesome—her thoughts slid away to yesterday and the kiss.

The way Ed’s lips had brushed hers.

It had been as though a thousand tiny suns had been born and died inside of her in that moment. The first kiss could never be taken again. And while the first attempt had been a disaster, the first kiss had been perfect. Enough to make her want more, just enough uncertainty that she knew he was as nervous as she was. Her toes curled at the memory. She should’ve gone back for the second kiss. Done something other than let him walk away.

Now she was worried that he wouldn’t call and that there would be no second date.

She must have smiled or frowned or something because the next thing she knew her mother was asking her a question. “Sorry, I was miles away.”

Julie put her glass down. “Can’t we have one dinner without mentioning him?”

Their mother ignored Julie. “I asked if you needed me to babysit while you do the hair and makeup trial that Julie was talking about.”

Ah crap, had she accidentally agreed to something awful?

“Of course she does. Without you doing everything for her she wouldn’t be able to get out the door.” Julie picked up her glass and lifted an eyebrow as she looked at Olivia.

Olivia opened her mouth, but her mother got in first. “And I’ll do the same for you when you have children.”

Julie pressed her lips together as if she didn’t believe it.

Shaun put his hand on Julie’s arm. “Not everyone is as organised as you.”

Olivia was going to throw up. Not everyone was as demanding as Julie either, or as self-absorbed. When had that happened? Once they’d gotten on so well—as long as Olivia was playing the games the way Julie had wanted, listened to the same music and generally did as she was told.

She was getting rather tired of Julie making assumptions about how she should be acting or behaving. She put her glass down as fire burnt in her blood. “What would you have had me do? Put him in day care at six weeks old? I was still in hospital.” Olivia shook her head. They’d been over this ground before. She glanced at her mother. “Next year he will start day care, the year after that he’ll be at school.
At school
.”

He was growing up so fast. Months had become years…she didn’t want her life to be on hold as decades slid by. She could date without it being long-term. She didn’t have to bring Ed home to meet the family. But she needed something. She needed to feel alive. She needed to feel loved again—even if it was temporary.

This time she was ready to date. Last time all she’d wanted was to feel something other than numb—she’d ended up with hurt. With Ed it would be different. Fun. She was allowed to have fun and she was beginning to recall what that was. She wished she could skip the hens’ night and go and see Ed play instead.

“I remember watching you girls grow up. While it seemed like forever until you were talking and walking, after that it was too quick.” Her mum smiled.

Julie looked unimpressed. “Can we get back to talking about the wedding? The hair and makeup trial is booked for Friday so we can go out looking fabulous.”

“Go and have fun, Olivia.” Her mum smiled. “Your dad and I will take Ethan out for the day and once he’s asleep he’s no trouble.”

She glanced at her father. Had her parents already arranged this so she’d have no excuse not to go?

He smiled. “I can take the day off; we’ll take him to the zoo.”

“But at night…” She hadn’t left him overnight, ever. It didn’t feel right.

“He’ll be fine.” Her mother reassured her. “You girls often stayed over at your grandparents so we could go on a date night.”

But this wasn’t a date night. She wished it was.

“If we hadn’t, you’d have never got a brother,” her dad added.

Olivia tried to push that thought out of her mind. There were some things she didn’t really need to know. “Okay. Yes, hair and makeup and hens’ night. Can’t wait.”

She forced a smile despite being railroaded into going out and having fun. If she was staying out all night and going to a hotel afterwards, she’d much rather be doing it with Ed than with her sister and her friends.

“Three weeks to go.” Julie smiled at Shaun.

Olivia recognised the way Shaun looked at Julie. No matter how snippy Julie could be, he loved her. Would anyone ever look at her that way again?

She was starting to hate weddings.

Mike hung around after Gemma and Dan had left. They’d managed to start another three songs and while Gemma had come up with kick-ass lyrics, they weren’t gelling with anything. The song Mike had started was finished…except for lyrics.

“How’s it going with pretty boy?” Ed dropped his empty beer bottle in the recycling bin. Dan usually spent longer getting ready than Gemma did, although lately he’d been looking a little rough around the edges. Not as rough as Mike though. Mike looked like he hadn’t seen a razor in at least three weeks and a haircut in much longer. Coupled with his singlet, cargo shorts and boots, he did look more like a tradie than anything else. Yet for some reason girls loved him.

Mike shrugged. “I’m not seeing him much as I’ve been helping my mum out. If he trashes my place, he’s dead.”

“You let him stay there.” No one had forced Mike to extend the invitation, but they’d all realised that Dan had needed help…still needed help. He was being very tight-lipped about the whole breakup. But Ed was beginning to think that Dan hadn’t been the guilty party, although that was the official line about the breakup with Lisa.

“You want him here? I can have him packed in half an hour tops.”

Ed had offered but Dan hadn’t wanted to be here. Too much like living at home, he’d claimed. Which was true. There wasn’t that much mischief that could be got up to with Ed’s parents sleeping upstairs. Since Gemma had moved in, it would’ve been a little crowded with Dan as well. And far too much like being on the road. A little space was a good thing. “He won’t go back home?”

“He won’t speak about it. It was easier for me to spend some time with Mum.”

It had been Mike and his mum ever since Ed had known him. While Ed knew that Mike’s father had taken off, that was all that was ever said. His mum had never remarried.

“She’ll be glad to see you.”

Mike nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’ve got a couple of weeks sparky work on offer. I need to take the job.”

It was Mike who was bringing the music at the moment, and now he wanted to step away? “Money that tight?”

Mike had money. His flat had been bought with a small inheritance. At nineteen he’d already grasped the significance of investing and putting aside for the future—possibly because of his mother.

Of all of them, it was Mike who was able to make extra on the side. Getting a trade instead of a degree was probably the smartest move, even though at the time it had been hellish. Mike had applied and got in to the Australian Defence Force Academy, off to be an Air Force officer. Then his mum was diagnosed with a brain tumour and he’d never gone.

The band had stayed together instead of splitting up.

If Mike’s mum hadn’t got sick they wouldn’t be sitting in the garage trying to write a second album. They’d have never written one.

“A little.” His gaze was remained on the floor. “I’ll come around when I can. I know we have to rehearse for the Basement gig.” Mike gave a wave and walked out. Conversation over. Mike didn’t usually say a lot, but Ed realised that there was something else going on. Pressing for details would get him nowhere.

Monday. New ownership day. Olivia wiped her hands on her black pants. She’d dressed up in a collared short-sleeved shirt with a faint pink pinstripe and a slight girly ruffle alongside the buttons. She’d smoothed her hair into one long braid and had copies of her qualifications in her handbag in case she was asked.

She kept hoping she’d be able to hold onto this job for a little longer. If not for another year then at least until she had something else lined up. So far she hadn’t snagged a single interview, but she was up against uni-qualified accountants who were looking for their first job. Plus it was almost Christmas.

She couldn’t have picked a worse time to job hunt—that was the problem. She hadn’t been given a choice. Part of her wanted to hate Frankie for selling; the rest of her knew that it wasn’t Frankie’s fault. Her heart hadn’t been in the café for months.

Olivia pushed down the rising panic and wiped her hands again. She hadn’t lost her job yet. Although the fact Frankie had warned her meant it was a definite possibility. As she walked into the café with a fixed fake smile straining her lips, she recognised the same tense look on all the staff’s faces. They were all casual—except for the cooks—and they could all get told, “don’t come Tuesday,” today.

As always, there were a few regulars already at their tables. Did they have any idea what was going on behind the scenes of their favourite little café? Probably not. And as long as the coffee and service didn’t go to shit they wouldn’t care either. They were here for the view. The ambiance.

She glanced out the window. It was a great view. Surfers dotted the waves. Was Ed out there? In that moment she wanted to be with him, out on the water and free—not that she knew how to surf. Until that moment she’d never had the desire to learn. But she could imagine what it must be like to have no worries for those few minutes while on the perfect wave. She drew in a breath and held on to that thought. With Ed she almost felt free. Carefree again.

She immediately squashed the thought. She wouldn’t trade Ethan or the time she’d had with Miles for anything. But that didn’t mean her life had to stop because his had. It had taken meeting Ed to make her realise that was exactly what she’d done. Touching death had made her afraid of living and taking risks. Whatever happened today she could deal with. She’d survived worse.

Her resolve and knees weakened as she made herself walk out the back to the office.

I can do this.

She pushed open the office door. A grey-haired man sat at the desk where she usually sat to work. He looked like he was in his fifties and rarely saw the sun—was this his career change? Would it be hers? “Ms Doyle, have a seat.”

She did and tried to project calm. Her body betrayed her. Her stomach was tight and her heart was beating too hard. Her mouth joined the party and went dry. This is what it felt like to sit outside the principal’s office. What talking to the police after the accident was like. She was already in the wrong and on the back foot and with nowhere to go.

No she wasn’t. She had options and choices. For half a second she was tempted to resign, but she couldn’t take that risk. She needed the job.

He gave her a bland smile that told her nothing about his personality. “How long have you worked here?”