Out of the Ashes (23 page)

“You brave girl.  I would
n’t have blamed you for staying home but I am so glad you are here.”

“Thank you.  I am too.  I admit I was hesitant but I really wanted to see you and definitely wanted to meet the
spectacular girl that pulled all of this off.”

“Oh
, I know! Isn’t my Claire wonderful?  Now if only her brother could get it together…”  She trails off before continuing, “I have no idea how she did all this and kept up with her class load but it is so beautiful.  Her taste is impeccable.  But then look at who her mother is.”  She says this last part with a wink and I definitely know where Ian’s sure-of-himself attitude comes from.  Dropping her voice some Marlene continues, “Now don’t you worry about that boy of mine.  I warned him that I expected his best behavior tonight.  Far be it from me to interfere in whatever is going on, but frankly he’s being an ass.  Someone as sweet as you wouldn’t walk away because of anything less.  I told him that if he wanted to speak with you to do it properly and tonight wasn’t the time for that.  You deserve to have a good time and enjoy the festivities.  So,” she says pulling me along by the arm, “let’s get started.  Celeste, I would like you to meet Claire.”  Marlene guides Gavin and I over to a smaller table set with desserts and before me is the younger version of Marlene.

She appears to be about my age, maybe a year or two younger, her caramel hair descending in waves to her waist.  Her skin glowing in the remnants of sunshine coming through the windows at the back of the house.  “Claire, I
’d like you to meet Celeste Brooks and Gavin Shaw.”  I notice the blush in her cheeks as she takes his hand in greeting.  Yes, Gavin has that effect on people.  Pulling her gaze from Gavin, she looks over to me.  Her eyes are also a clear blue but not exactly the same shade as Ian’s; they are a bit lighter with flecks of green in them. 

“I
hoped that you would be here tonight.  Ian’s told me so much about you and I’ve just been dying to meet you.”  I felt my chest tighten at the mention of his name but my smile never falters.  Claire is perfectly genuine in her sentiments and that makes me like her all the more. 

“I
’m glad I came too.  I’m nervous with everything that’s happened in the last couple of days,” I look up to gauge her reaction, not sure how much either her or Marlene knows about what happened between Ian and I.  “But I decided celebrating Marlene’s birthday was more important.”  I smile and give Marlene another hug.  I’m truly at ease with them; the feeling is wonderful though I’m barely holding it together. 

Gavin seem
s to sense my impending break down and steers me away from Marlene and Claire.  “I’m sorry to steal her away when you have only just met but I need to get this woman some champagne.  We’ll see you at dinner.”

“Oh yes, I have you sat at our table.”  Claire’s eyes are sad and for a moment she looks worried.  “I hope that will be okay.  If not I can rearrange a couple things and move you to a table close to ours.  I had done the seating chart before, well several weeks ago.”  She turns her gaze to her shoes. 

“Claire,” I say taking her hand as she looks up at me, “you have done a beautiful job preparing this party for your mother and Gavin and I would be delighted to sit with you at dinner.”  Claire’s mouth turns up in the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.  I guess this would be the female version of the panty-dropping smile.  The similarities between her and Ian are uncanny.  It’s very easy to tell the two of them are siblings and have a very close relationship. 

Gavin t
akes my hand and places it on his arm as we leave them to get a drink and mingle with some other people that Gavin knows.  “I’m sorry if this is awkward.  I never even considered seating arrangements.”  Gavin gives me a thoughtful look. 

“It’s fine.  I should have suspected since Ian and I were together when he RSVP’d but honestly
it’ll be fine.  Like you already said, I can’t avoid him forever.  He is my boss after all.  Now if I am going to make it through tonight it’s going to be your job to ply me with drinks, lots and lots of drinks.”  I smile playfully at him and we make our way to the bar.  We chat happily until dinner snagging some hors d’oeuvres from the passing trays then make our way into the dining room just as dinner is announced. 

I
haven’t seen Ian yet but know he’s here.  The air seems to change whenever he’s near me, in the same room as me.  It’s like a current runs between the two of us, connecting us, alerting us to the other’s presence.  I stamp down my apprehension, still worried over him bringing someone else or worse him being here with
her.
  God, if she sits down at the table with him, I’ll have no choice but to get up and leave.  It would be very ungracious but there’s no way I can sit with the two of them all night.  I straighten my spine as we make our way to the table refusing to cower to him.  My eyes lock on the four empty chairs.  Thankfully Gavin graciously seats me next to Claire placing himself between me and whoever will fill the empty seats.

Gavin and I s
it for a few moments talking with Marlene and Claire.  As I reach into my clutch for my lip-gloss, he walks up to the table.  Without looking I know he’s there.  I’m powerless to the pull he has on me.  I look up and my eyes meet his.  I see a sadness there that I’m sure is reflected in my own gaze.  What does he have to be upset about?  Probably just not used to only banging one woman at a time, my snarky attitude chimes in.  Ugh, why did I have to go there?  I watch as he takes the seat next to his mother, directly across from me, leaving the chair next to Gavin empty.  Great, now I’ll have to look into those eyes all night.  As he speaks with his mother and sister, his eyes never leave my face.  It’s impossible to pay attention to what’s being said around me as I’m lost in his eyes.  I find myself longing for something that I cannot have.  I wish we could go back and have all the beautiful words and promises he made to me be true; I wish I could have shared my whole self with him and in turn he with me.  But that will never be.

I wait for his companion to join him but when the first course arrives and no one has come over, I realize that he
’s here alone.  My eyes mist over.  My heart and body yearn for this man but my mind is screaming warnings.  I need to get away from his intense gaze for a moment and take some time to think.  Before the tears that are threatening spill, I excuse myself and make my way to the restroom.  I make my way through the powder room into the bathroom and lock the door.  The tears I’d been holding in come cascading down.  These aren’t hard sobs, just tears of lament that pour silently over my cheeks.  Using a tissue, I blot them as they fall thinking of Ian; confused about everything that’s happening.  When I feel they are under control, I go to inspect the damage.

Opening the door to the powder room, I
’m confronted by a sight I hoped to avoid.  Rebecca sits on a small divan applying lipstick in the mirror.  “I thought I saw you come in here.  I think it’s time that you and I had a little talk.”  I guess my assumption that he’s here alone was wrong. 

“Rebecca,” I beg
in, “I don’t really think there is anything for us to discuss.  I think, for once, things are perfectly clear to me.  Now if you’ll excuse me.”  I reach for the door handle but her hand wraps around my wrist and pulls it back. 

“No, it’s clear that you don’t understand.  You
will stay away from him.  I don’t want to see you at the office anymore and you’ll have no more contact with him of any kind.  Is that clear enough for you?” 

My anger burst forth and I see red.  Who the fuck does she think she is? 
“I’m sorry but I don’t think you have the ability to fire me.  Only Ian can do that and since he hasn’t mentioned anything, I fully intend to return to my job.  If you have the kind of power you claim then you should have no trouble persuading him to fire me and then you can have everything you want.  But until then…”  I glance down at the hand wrapped around my forearm.  “Please let go of me.”

“You stupid little bitch.  You thought you could come in there and open your legs and he would fall at your feet.  But no, he
’s loved me all along and will always be mine.  You were nothing but a distraction for a few fleeting moments and now I’ll have him forever.”  She holds up her hand and I stare open mouthed at the diamond wrapped around her ring finger.  “That’s right,
sweetheart,
” her voice drips with sarcasm, “Ian proposed and I, of course, accepted.  So there’s nothing more for you here.”

“Congratulations.”  I spit at her trying to pull my wrist from her grasp.  I need to escape this room, this party, this night.  If I could I would escape this life as well but that cannot happen.  “Now if you
’ve finished I need to leave.”

“I need you to understand something.  I
’ll kill you before I’ll let you have him.”  Her steely gaze meets mine and she is completely serious in her words. 

“Well, since you have the ring, I
’d think you have nothing to worry about.”  I wriggle free from her grasp and run for the door throwing it open.  Thankfully there’s no one outside to have heard our exchange.

I quickly make my way back through the tables trying to keep my emotions at bay only to be confronted by Ian.  “Celeste, are you alright?”  His tone is concerned but I don’t give a damn anymore. 

“No, I’m not fucking fine.  Your crazy ass fiancée just trapped me in the bathroom to threaten me.  Then there’s you; you’ve been sitting across from me all night making me feel like I owed you some explanation when this is all what you wanted in the first place.  So please just go to Rebecca and leave me the fuck alone.”  I storm past him as Marlene walks up.  I was shouting and probably caused a scene but I can’t take one more minute of him and Rebecca.  I gather my things and Gavin, understanding the situation better than anyone, makes our excuses and follows me out of the house.

“It seems I
’m forever apologizing where he’s concerned.  But I truly am sorry, Celeste.  I didn’t know it would be like this.”

No longer able to contain myself I cry into his shoulder.  “He asked her to marry him.  She showed me the fucking ring.”  I
’m vaguely aware of Gavin ushering me into the car, a string of curses dropping from his lips and the door to the house opening behind us. 

Gavin turns around, “Just don’t.  She doesn’t need this shit anymore.”  Ian is standing there but
I can’t bear to look at him.  Gavin is very near violence now and is having trouble controlling himself so I pull him closer to me, comforting him and myself at the same time.  I feel him relax some before he continues, “Marlene, I’m very sorry for the evening and I’ll speak to you next week.  You,” he says “leave her the fuck alone.  She’s been through enough and doesn’t need this shit from you.  I thought you cared about her or I would never have allowed you to get so close.  Well, you fucked this one up.  If you come near her again, I don’t care who you are, you’ll have to answer to me.”  Gavin pulls me into the car with him and slams the door.  I stare at the back window as we drive away watching their shrinking forms.  Ian appears to slump into his mother and she holds him in her arms as any mother would to comfort their child.  I wouldn’t have thought my life could crumble any further than it has but as I sit here I see I still had further to fall.

Monday morning comes all too quickly and while I’m still not sure this is the best idea, I wake up early and make my way into the office.  Today will be the deciding factor on my job and fully expect to find my things boxed up.  Or perhaps he would rather fire me in person.  He seems to thrive on my misery lately, rubbing it in my face every chance he gets.  The office is quiet when I arrive.  As I make my way to the penthouse, I mentally prepare for the task that’s before me.  Walking through the office, I find myself staring longingly at Ian’s desk, remembering how he made love to me Thursday night just before everything fell apart.  Stop it; that will do you no good and will only leave you weak and open to him.

I figure the best way to get through the time is to stay busy.
  There’s plenty of work left over since I wasn’t here Friday.  I sort through all the emails and messages so I know what needs to get done first. Then I prepare Ian’s schedule and make sure he has all his meeting materials for the day.  It feels weird being in here but I did it as just a job once before and I can do it as just a job again until I can find something else.  I’ve already called my contact at KPMG to see if they may still have an opening for me.  They were supportive of my move after the internship so hopefully will still be willing to hire me.

I
’m just sitting down with my iced coffee when Ian walks in the office.  He stops dead in his tracks and stares at me.  Clearly he wasn’t expecting me to come in; well if he wants to be rid of me, he can fire me.  Until then I’ll be the best damn assistant he’s ever had.  My resolve made up; I stand and walk over to him with his things for the day.  “Mr. Jacobs, I have your schedule prepared and I’ve made all the copies for the meeting this afternoon on the warehouse development.  I also have everything from Friday sorted and will get started on it right away.  Is there anything else I can get for you before I do?” 

I’m trying to remain very professional and distant with him but it
’s taking all of my control not to break down right in front of him.  “I see you are feeling better.”  He says in the cool tone.  I wonder if it’s as difficult for him at all.  He fucked someone in a bathroom hallway and then got engaged to a crazy bitch; I would say the answer to that is probably no.