Outcast (21 page)

My parents were invited into the room next, and it felt how I imagined it must feel when you’re a bride showing off your wedding dress. Could we just get this all over with, please? I swear my mother practically had tears in her eyes finally seeing her daughter wearing something she’d bought her. Daddy just gave me a big hug. Finally they said they were going to stay out of my way and go to their room so Gabe and I could meet up and leave without it being all awkward with them watching us.

“That’s so cool of them,” said Lacy as we headed downstairs. “My mom would’ve been there with a camera. My dad with a shotgun.”

I laughed, and it was a good thing I did too because I didn’t notice that we were in the main hall at the top of the stairs now, and that Gabe was standing at the bottom looking up at me.

But then, of course, I did notice. I’d never felt more self-conscious walking down a flight of stairs before in my life. I think for a moment there I actually forgot how. Thank god for banisters.

I had to avoid eye contact with Gabe. I noticed the paintings on the walls for the first time in years, how the carpet really needed to be washed, that the window above the door had a little crack in it.

“Hey, sweetheart,” said Gabe when I reached the bottom.

I finally looked up at him but still not directly in the eyes. He was in dark jeans and one of the shirts my mother had got him for Christmas too. Her evil plan was apparently going perfectly. On top of that was his leather jacket, and I had to admit that we looked pretty darn perfect together.

“Hey.”

“You look pretty darn perfect,” he said.

“Thanks. You look good too.”

“Not as good as you, but you make me look better, so that’s all that counts. Nice necklace.”

“You like it?” I asked with a grin.

“Kinky.” He gave me a wink. “Hey, Lacy.”

“Hey, Gabe,” said Lacy with a smile. “Doesn’t she look fantastic?”

“Damn straight. Come on,” he said and took my hand. I felt that same kind of electric shock as I had that day out in the front when he’d escaped from the shed. This night was going to be unbearable.

He led me out the front door and onto the veranda, where his bike was sitting waiting for us. Well, I guess, yeah, it made sense. And it was time, too. Despite my protests, I really did kind of want to try being on a motorbike, and tonight was very much a night of firsts.

“She can’t get on the bike!” Lacy came up from behind and pushed her way protectively between us.

“Sure she can. You ain’t scared, are you?” Gabe looked at me with a slight smile.

“No…” Maybe a little.

“Gabe, we just spent an hour getting her ready for this, doing her hair, her makeup, you can’t just put her on the back of a bike!”

“Lacy, it’s okay, don’t worry,” I said.

“No, it isn’t okay,” she replied turning to me. “I put a lot of work into this.”

“And I’m grateful. But it’ll be fine. Thanks a lot for all the help.”

“Fine, whatever, but don’t come crying to me about helmet hair.”

“That really won’t happen.”

“Fine.” She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.

“Thanks, Lacy.” I leaned in and gave her a hug.

“Whatever.” She gave me a quick hug back then pulled away. Then she shook her head at me and stomped down the front steps, over to her car, and took off in a flurry of dust. It seemed a bit of an overreaction to me, but I guess making me over was a bit more work than she’d expected, and now she thought it was all going to waste. I made a mental note to try to keep everything in place for as long as it was possible. Which would be hard as I was already finding the lip gloss a little too sticky for my liking.

Gabe practically skipped down the stairs to his bike. I wanted to follow him but I just stayed were I was. I felt stupidly uncomfortable. I felt so uncomfortable I debated just turning around and running back inside. My face was hot, my stomach was all twisted up in knots. It was one of those run-up-to-your-room-and-dive-under-the-covers-and-hide-till-everything-was-safe kinds of situations.

“You coming?” asked Gabe.

“Yeah, of course.” I still couldn’t make eye contact with him.

“’Cause it looks like you’re just standing there.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Just like Lacy, I stomped my way down the stairs. When I made it to the bike he handed me a helmet.

“Thanks.”

“Riley?”

“Yeah.”

“You okay?”

“Sure, why?”

“Uh, because you haven’t made eye contact with me once.”

Oh so
now
he was ready to be perceptive.

I examined the helmet carefully and didn’t answer.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

I felt stupid. Evidently I was way more comfortable with the idea of leading armies and shooting non-angels than going on a date with a boy.

“I can’t do this.” For the first time I looked up at him. When I did I realized why I’d instinctively avoided looking at him. His eyes just melted my heart. I felt so…vulnerable.

“Is it ’cause of Chris?”

“What?” Oh, that’s what he was thinking. “No, no. I mean…look I wouldn’t have said yes if I didn’t think it was time, it’s just…”

“What is it?” He took a step toward me. He never seemed to appreciate just how overwhelming those little steps toward me were.

Fine, he wanted to know, fine.

“Well, what it is is this. I’m scared okay? I’m scared.”

He laughed. “What the heck is there to be scared of?”

“Of you, you idiot!”

Gabe opened his mouth and then shut it again. I’d definitely silenced him. We stood there staring at each other in quiet. It was much easier to make eye contact with him in anger.

Finally he spoke. “Of me?” He said it really quietly. It was almost adorable.

“Yeah.”

Gabe nodded a few times and then turned toward his bike. “So you still don’t trust me.”

What? “What?”

“Even though we figured out I’m not an angel after all, even though I’ve been helping you out with all of this stuff…you still think I’m trying to trick you.”

Oh, for the love of…why were boys so dense? “Gabe, it has nothing to do with the angel thing.”

“Yeah, right.”

“No, it doesn’t.” I came up beside him and rested the helmet on the seat of the bike.

“What does it have to with then?”

“Me.”

“You.”

“Yeah, me. I…I’ve never been on a date before. Chris was my first kiss, and even then it was sort of out of the blue. We were just friends at the time. I’ve never got all dressed up like this, I’ve never…” I paused. “Well, like I said, Chris was my first kiss. My only kiss. My only…anything. I don’t know how to do all this, and I should, you know? At my age. I like being good at stuff, and I’ve no idea what I’m doing. And you’re like…the total opposite of me with all this, and I don’t want you to judge me…”

“I wouldn’t…”

“I feel…ridiculous. Like I’m just pretending. To the rest of the world it’s just a date, but it’s my first time, and so it’s…special. And for you it’s just another date, and…” I noticed I was hyperventilating.

“Okay, okay, calm down.” He placed his hands on my shoulders and lightly directed me to lean against the bike. “First of all, anyone can date.”

“I can’t.”

“Riley, you’re being stupid. You can, and I’ll prove it to you. Second, you’ve really got to start trusting me a bit.”

“I already said that wasn’t the issue.”

“Actually what you said was that I’d judge you. Don’t sound like trust to me. And lastly, with all that date being special and everything, Riley I want to go on a date with you because I really like you.”

“Yeah, right. You date everyone.”

“Sure. But this is different.” He said it like it was so obvious.

“Why’s it different?”

“Because we were friends first. It’s always different that way. You can’t just casually date a friend…Riley you’ve gone all pale.”

“So what, is this serious? I don’t think I can do serious. I mean, this is just a first date, I mean…I…”

Gabe started to laugh, which I thought was really annoying.

He grabbed me by the shoulders and playfully shook me. “Riley, you’re nuts.”

Yes, okay, I realized that.

“I’m scared.” It was all I could think of saying.

“Well, let’s work on that.”

I nodded.

“Okay. First of all, it’s just us. We’ve been hanging out for almost a year now. Riley…” he leaned in a bit and lowered his voice, “you’ve seen me naked.”

I nodded and felt my face get hotter. From pale white to bright red, awesome.

“So we’re just hanging out like every other time. My treat. Is that cool?” He squinted at me as if to convince me it was cool.

“That’s cool.”

“And second, let’s just take everything one step at a time, stop looking at the bigger picture ’cause that don’t even exist yet. The first step is for you to get on the back of the bike.”

“Right.”

“So you gonna do that?”

“Yes.”

“Put on your helmet.”

I did, feeling my hair flatten as I did so. Poor Lacy.

Gabe climbed onto the bike first and I followed his example. I’d never ridden one, but I’d seen him and my dad playing around with it enough to get the idea.

“Nice job!” he said as he kicked up the kickstand. “And in a skirt too. Very impressive.”

“Don’t try to flatter me…”

“Hey, trust, remember? I was actually impressed. Not every girl’s that smooth at gettin’ on a bike. Just say ‘thank you’.”

I sighed. He was making all these good points. It was really annoying. “Thank you,” I said through gritted teeth.

“So you gonna grab on or what?” he asked turning around to look at me.

“I’ve seen people hold on like this.” I was holding onto the underside of the seat.

“It’s not as safe that way…”

“I like to live dangerously.”

“Fine.” Gabe started up the engine. With a roar he was speeding down the driveway—and my arms were fast around his middle. I couldn’t tell, what with the vibrations of the bike and everything, but I was pretty sure he was laughing.

Whatever, I just didn’t want to die, okay? He didn’t have to take it as a sign that I wanted to touch him or anything. And then I remembered I was on a date, and it was okay to let the guy know I liked him. Man, I sucked at this.

It turned out that I kind of enjoyed being on a motorbike. At first everything felt different, like we were going twice as fast as a car, but that was just because you could feel the air rushing against your body and hear the motor so loud. Turns were my favorite, when we’d lean a little to the side. It felt so effortless. I also liked that you really couldn’t talk on a bike, so I could just sit there, holding onto Gabe, and look around. We were in town in no time, driving through Main Street. A few people waved. They recognized Gabe and his bike, of course. Some of the older folks gave us looks of disgust, and I couldn’t help but feel awesome that for once I was doing something that grownups didn’t approve of. Well, okay, so my mom thought it was cool, and my dad had helped build the thing, but other grownups.

I really wished I could take off the helmet, so people could see it was me. Then again, did I really want to be the gossip of the town…I wondered if Lacy would tell anyone. She’d been pretty good not spilling about the army thing. But this was dating, a totally different animal.

Soon we’d passed through town and were making our way along that tight claustrophobic road that could either lead us into the swamplands or out of the town. It’d been a year since I’d been out, and when we hit the main highway, I felt a wonderful sense of freedom. And also a little bit of terror at being so exposed on a bike passing semis and fast cars.

Hartwich wasn’t too far from New Adamstead. About twenty minutes. We got into town, and Gabe found his way to the central parking lot. The town was maybe twice the size of ours, but that still made it small compared to any normal city. There were a couple strip malls on the outskirts, but the downtown area was pretty well confined to a dozen or so blocks.

Gabe turned off the engine, put down the kickstand and got off the bike. He offered to help me down, and I was about to say no when I realized maybe I should just let him. So I did. I removed my helmet and handed it to Gabe who had his hand outstretched to take it.

“So,” I asked, shaking out my hair, “how much damage? Will Lacy kill me?”

Gabe was looking at me funny, and I worried for a second that actually the answer was yes. Which kind of was a horrible thought as it meant I was both destined to be killed by a cheerleader and had terrible hair on my first date ever.

But Gabe finally shook his head no. “No. It looks great. You look great.”

“Thanks.” I found myself avoiding his eye contact again.

Gabe noticed because he then said, “Okay, so step one complete. Step two, walk over to the restaurant.”

I smiled and looked at him again. He locked away my helmet in the small compartment he’d attached to the back of the bike, but he had to carry his with us. As we were walking up the few steps to the main street he grabbed my hand. I pulled away quickly.

“Oh, sorry,” I said when I realized what I’d done. I let him take it and felt stupid again. “I thought you said step two was walking to the restaurant.”

“It is. Step two point five is holding hands.”

“Warn me next time, please.”

“I think I will.”

“Thanks.”

I didn’t know where we were going, so I just let him lead me along the main street and then up a smaller one. We turned down what I thought was an alley but turned out to be a very pretty courtyard with lanterns hanging across between the buildings. At the far end was a small Creole restaurant with a terrace. It seemed to be a pretty empty place, but it was still early for a Saturday.

“I guess you like this kind of food,” I said, remembering all the meals Etta Mae had served us.

“You don’t mind, do you? Thought you did too?”

“No I don’t mind. How’d you find this place?”

“Asked your dad.”

Oh god, that was embarrassing, asking Daddy for dating advice.

“And look! Steps two and two point five completed!” he said as we approached the door.

“Look at that,” I replied and we stopped walking.

“Step three…”

“I get to eat something?”

“We both get to eat something.”

We went inside where a very energetic young man came rushing toward us saying something so fast that it took a moment to realize he was asking us if we wanted to sit inside or outside. We chose outside.

We sat down at the table and were given some water right away, as well as some bread and crabmeat dip with our menus.

I was relieved that I got to do something aside from thinking about the date and took a careful look at what was on order.

“You wanna do something neat?” asked Gabe.

“Depends on what that is,” I replied. I could only trust so far.

“Your dad said that we could just ask them to bring us what they thought we’d like. He said it was cool.”

“Cool?”

“He actually said ‘cool.’”

“Well, why not? Sure. Sounds…‘neat.’”

“Riley…”

“It does sound neat.”

“I like ‘neat.’ I’m keeping ‘neat.’”

“Well, if you’re going to keep ‘neat,’ you should at least make it ‘neat-o.’”

“Maybe I will.”

“Fine.”

He dipped his fingers in the water and flicked some at me.

“I won’t try to get you back,” I said adjusting my napkin in my lap. “I know how upset splashing makes you.”

Gabe laughed, and our frantic, but very happy, waiter returned. We asked him to bring whatever he thought we’d like, and that seemed to fill him with even more joy.

“Look how happy we made him,” I said watching him practically run back into the restaurant.

“Step three seems to be going pretty well,” replied Gabe.

“It does.” I turned back to face him, and he reached over and grabbed my hands. This time I didn’t pull away. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do now, exactly, so I just let him hold them for a bit.

“You’re pretty amazing,” he said.

“Is step four ‘talk romantic?’ Because I think then I really need a bit more of step three,” I said feeling my heart quicken.

“Can’t I just say something nice without freaking you out?”

Probably not. “You said it would just be like us hanging out, and you never grabbed my hands and said stuff like that when we were hanging out.”

“Well, do you want it to just be like hanging out?”

“I want it to be as comfortable as hanging out…”

“It will be. But first dates usually aren’t that comfortable.”

Now he tells me. “You look comfortable.”

“I always look comfortable. It’s what I do.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“But I’m not.”

“You’re not?”

“Nope, you’re making me very nervous.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “But . . . I mean . . . it’s just me.”

Gabe laughed also. “And it’s just me too.”

“Okay, okay, go back, try again. You were saying I was amazing . . .”

Gabe laughed again. “You are. You’re funny and smart, and you have incredible aim, and . . .” He stopped and looked at me in that way that I never understood.

“And?”

“And you’ve made me think more about stuff, made me want to not be who I was.”

“That’s a good thing?”

“Oh yeah. A very good thing. You never talked to me like I was stupid, even back when you were explaining the time travel thing. Maybe you just thought I was clever ’cause I was an angel, but you’ve been damn swell ever since.”

“Oh . . .well . . . you know . . .”

“And you’re beautiful.”

“Gabe. . .”

“No, I mean it. I know you don’t dress like the other girls, and you’re not like a movie star . . . you’re not cute. You’re not obviously hot . . .”

“Gabe, is this a compliment?”

“Listen, okay? I’m trying to explain something. You’re beautiful. That’s different. That’s deeper. And it ain’t just your personality, not talking about that. It’s hard to describe. You’re . . .” He seemed really wrapped up with getting this right, was squeezing my hands hard in concentration. “Like tonight. You come downstairs, and you glow. And your body looks amazing . . .”

“Gabe . . .” and there was the hotness in the face again.

“And your face,” he corrected himself quickly, “your face is just perfect and . . . I can’t explain it. It’s like, with other girls, yeah they’re pretty, and you see it and you think, ‘That’s hot,’ but then you look at you and then it’s like . . . it’s like when I was little and would just look out into the bayou and just stare and watch, for hours. And my ma would get angry ’cause she thought I was lazy, couldn’t figure out what I was doing. I just wanted to look because it was so beautiful, and I thought if I looked away then I’d forget what it was like.” He stopped speaking and his body seemed to relax. Like he was finally satisfied with his explanation.

“Gabe.” I didn’t know what to say. Should I say something back? Like I thought he was so hot that every time he came close to me my stomach would get all butterflies? That the first time he’d touched my hand I thought I’d been electrocuted? But he knew he was hot. Did he still want me to tell him that? And besides, it wasn’t like I could say anything half so romantic as the staring out into the swamp thing . . .

“Step four is a pretty embarrassing step for you, isn’t it?” said Gabe after I’d been silent a little too long.

“Could have used some warning. Like with step two point five.”

“I just wanted to say it. So you knew. ’Cause I think you get how clever you are, but sometimes I think you don’t get how you look . . .”

“Well, to you . . .”

“To me. Probably to other guys too. But to me matters most, right?” he said with a devilish grin.

“Yeah, sure.” I offered a shy smile. “And, uh . . .”

“Yes?”

“You’re pretty cool too.”

Gabe laughed again. “Coming from you, that’s a top compliment.”

Fortunately the waiter returned with our first course at that moment and we could let the subject drop as we enjoyed the food. It was beyond amazing. The chef was clearly a real artist.

We ate our way through some Oysters Rockefeller and then turtle soup. It was an excellent distraction from the date itself, as all we felt like talking about was how fantastic the food was, which was being delivered to us fast and furious. We’d share bits of what we were eating with each other. I even found him feeding me once and I didn’t think it strange or anything at all. By the third course we were stuffed, but the food was still coming. More customers had arrived at this point, and a band had arrived that started playing a mix of Zydeco and jazz. It was fast and lively, just like our waiter. In fact our waiter had taken to dancing his way out over to us now.

“You’re very good!” I said as he placed two steaming plates of Jambalya in front of us.

“Thank you. I’ll show you!” He grabbed my hand, and before I could say anything I was up on my feet.

“I’m really not a dancer . . .” I said. Also there’s no one else dancing and this is pretty embarrassing.

“Don’t think, just dance.”

Easy for you to say. I held onto his hand as he jumped around. I started to move a little and glanced over at Gabe who looked like he was about to die from laughter.

“I’m . . . I’m really full . . .” I said when the waiter grabbed my other hand to try to get me more into it.

“Will help the digestion.”

I wasn’t so sure about that. He turned me around, and now I was facing the musicians and they were all watching me. The guy on the accordion gave me a big wink.

“She don’t seem to like your moves, Leon,” said the guy playing the guitar.

“Maybe she’ll like mine.”

I felt two hands on my waist, and I was spun around and there was Gabe, facing me. He took my right hand in his, and placed the other around my waist. I almost died right there.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I said. “We don’t really dance like this . . . now.”

“Don’t worry about it. Step five. Show Riley how they did it back in my day . . .”

He started to move in rhythm to the music, a quick kind of two-step thing. I looked down and watched his feet for a second and tried to copy him. Suddenly he pushed against my waist and I was spinning out beneath his arm without even having to try. He pulled me back in, and I looked up at him with a big smile on my face.

“See! You’re a natural.”

“That was fun!”

“You sound surprised.”

I was. I’d never been to any of the school dances, and anyway, nobody danced in couples like this. Dancing always seemed, again, like something other people did. But it really wasn’t that tough. It was actually a lot of fun.

We danced and danced. Song after song. If my hair hadn’t been ruined by the helmet, it must have been a total disaster now, the way I was tossing it around. I didn’t even care that our food was getting cold, and I cared a lot about food usually. Other patrons of the restaurant were up and dancing with us now, and soon we had this big group. It got really tight on the dance floor, and Gabe pulled me close. I didn’t think it had anything to do with saving space.

Finally I felt my legs start to get tired, and I realized, crazily, that I was actually hungry again, so we went back to our table outside.

Our food was cool now, and the waiter whisked it away, replacing it with a dessert of pecan pie, which tasted just heavenly after all the exercise.

“You’re a really good dancer,” I said taking another fork full.

“Well, I really love music,” he replied.

“Yeah I know.”

“You know?”

“Yeah, you like to sing to yourself sometimes.” It was true, whenever he needed to focus on anything he’d start humming, sometimes even saying the words. “You really like that Cadillac song.”

Gabe laughed. “Oh, that one. Yeah, that’s a good one.
My baby has a bright blue Cadillac
. . .” He started to sing.

Normally the idea of him singing in a crowded restaurant would have totally embarrassed me, but tonight it just seemed right.

“Wait, how does it go?” I asked.

“Repeat after me…” He talked me through the chorus and then every time we came back round to it I sang it with him.

When we finished, a couple of the tables near us applauded. I grinned.

“They’re being nice. I’m not that good,” I said.

“Well, I am,” replied Gabe, and I laughed.

I was feeling totally comfortable now. All the fears and worries had slipped away. We just talked about stuff as we finished dessert. Stupid stuff. We didn’t even once bring up the Taking and that it was just a week away. For this one night, it was like we were a normal couple, eating a normal dessert, having a normal date.

Couple.

Date.

Normal.

Was there anything weirder?