Outlaw (Aelfraed) (8 page)

The rest of the autumn and early winter seemed to drag on as we prepared to fight an enemy who didn’t come. We heard that William was in the south west subjugating the forces raised by Harold’s mother but we were left alone.
  For men of action it was frustrating.  Had Edwin or Morcar mobilised their forces then we could have struck south while William was engaged elsewhere.  That first autumn, a year after Stamford was the time to strike but it passed and we did nothing.

I had missed Gytha and Harold and I visited them in Fife for the winter solstice.
  I left early in January and trudged, with faithful Branton and his archers, through snow which was sometimes up to the horse’s hocks. Perversely it felt good to be fighting something, even if it was only the elements and as a warrior with a reputation, we found a friendly welcome in the homes and taverns we used heading north. King Malcolm was not in the south of the land and had gone north to watch for Orkney raiders and we reached Fife without speaking with him. 

The Lord of Fife had had word of us and he rode out to meet us with an armed escort.
  The escort was more for show than anything.  He seemed to like me and, embarrassingly, seemed to try to copy me so that his men were mailed as mine and rode with his emblem of the Raven on his shield.  I suppose I should have been flattered but I was unaccustomed to such attention from another man. He gushed about how much Harold had grown and what cheeky boys the twins were and I let it all flow over me.  I did not want second hand accounts of my son I wanted to hold him and bounce him on my knee and most of all I wanted to hold Gytha.

His castle was close to the shoreline and had a commanding view towards the north east. I suspected it had been built to counter the raids of the Norsemen and, as such, it would have been effective. It did not have a deep ditch but it was built of stone and had an inner bailey and a keep in the Norman style.
  He had built a drawbridge which helped to make it more secure although a deeper ditch would have made it more effective. It impressed me and I thought then about changes I could make at Topcliffe. The advantage he had with the keep was that he could protect all of his family and his animals should his walls fall. As long as there was a well in the castle they could keep out an enemy.

He saw my scrutiny. “Do you like it my lord?”

“It has a pleasant aspect and yet it is defensible. Does it have a name?”

He beamed happily, “It did not until my visitors arrived and now it is Queen’s Haven.”

I thought at first that it did not sound military until I remembered that the name of my manor at Topcliffe was Maiden Bower.  “A good name and appropriate. How is the Queen?”

For the first time his face became serious.
  “She still frets about the safety of the boys and yet she misses being at the heart of intrigue and power.”

I nodded; she had not had an easy life with two husbands killed but she had had a busy life.
  I could understand her frustration at being stuck in the lovely but lonely part of a land in which she was a foreigner.  I hoped that I could, in some way cheer her up, but I thought it unlikely.

As we rode through the gates the two princes raced across the snow giggling and throwing balls of snow at each other.
  I saw their nurse trying to catch them and I spied, in a window in the keep, the face of Ealdgyth watching with a smile on her face. The boys, at least, were content. Even as I dismounted Gytha had raced out and thrown her arms around me, I could hear Sarah’s voice in the background, “My lady! Your wrap!”

“I have missed you wife.”

“And I, you husband.” That was a perfect moment when time seemed to stand still as we gazed into each other’s eyes.  She was even more beautiful than she had been and I was amazed, again, that she should have chosen a rough hewn warrior like me to be her husband. “Wait until you see young Harold, he can almost walk.  Well he grabs things, staggers and falls over, but he will walk soon enough believe me.”

Sarah waved an admonishing finger at Gytha and then wrapped a wolf skin about her shoulders. “Good to see you Sarah, Thomas send
s his love.”

Her stern face suddenly broke into a smile and I wondered at her loyalty to Gytha and myself which had transcended her love for her husband.
  “Is he well?”

“He is.
  He misses you, as we all do but we survive.”

You would have thought I had given her terrible news for she suddenly burst into tears and ran back inside.
  As we followed her Gytha said, “She misses him terribly as I miss you.  Could we not return home?  Naught has happened; it must be safe.”

“We will talk later.” I was coming around to the thought that they could return.
  It seemed unlikely that anything would happen for a while. “Where is my son?”

She led me to the main hall where there was a roaring fire and a young girl played with Harold.
  He looked a healthy enough child, not that I know much of such things and he giggled much.  I was pleased that when he fell he did not cry but stood again.  He would be a good warrior who did not submit to setbacks. “Harold, come to your father.” I did not think he would remember me but I crouched down and held my arms wide. He turned to face the sound of my voice and a puzzled look came over his face.  The girl supported him with her arms. 

“Come on Harold, let us see you walk.” I grinned as I said it for I was happy and I had missed many days with my son. My joy was complete when he grinned back at me and launched himself forward. He was but two of my paces away from me but with his small legs that was a huge distance.
  Never taking his eyes from mine he lurched forwards, his arms held out and he waddled into my open arms. It was a moment  I have had never experienced before and later, when I shivered in hiding, pursued and surrounded, it was the one thought which gave me heart and filled me with hope.

That evening Calum had
laid on a magnificent feast with game and sweetmeats. He served the fiery spirit they drink in the highlands but I was always careful when drinking in company and while the other lords became inebriated I just felt warm inside. Gytha retired early with Harold and I was about to join her when Ealdgyth restrained me.  “Before you follow your lady, a word, Lord Aelfraed.”

I could not refuse her for I served as I had served her husband.
  “Whatever your majesty desires, you are my Queen and I serve you in all things.”

She gave me a rueful look.
  “Queen of what? “

“You will always be the Queen of England to me, majesty.”

She touched my hand, “Dear loyal Aelfraed.  If only my treacherous brothers had shown such loyalty or had just a small part of your bravery and backbone.”

I felt uncomfortable for I still liked Morcar. “You
r brother, Earl Morcar, would have done more I am sure…”

“If he were not under the influence of that viper Edwin. You are a fine warrior Aelfraed but you are naïve when it comes to politics.” She held my hand in hers and I was amazed at the softness of the skin and the delicate touch. It was uncomfortable for I felt myself becoming aroused and I had to concentrate on her words. “Will my people rise against the Norman invader?”

It was a blunt question and required an equally blunt answer. “Your mother in law has raised a revolt in the south and Eadric has attacked Hereford.”

“And what of the north?”

“Aethelward has promises from many lords but the total force would be a thousand men and then the fyrd.”

“The fyrd!” She almost spat the word out.
I stepped backwards at the ferocity of her words. “They are the reason my husband is dead and I am in exile.”

“They all died majesty and they were not warriors.”

She smiled.  “I am sorry Aelfraed.  You are right and it is the words you do not say which speak volumes.  Unless my brothers rise then there will be no rebellion.” I nodded, I could not lie. “Thank you for your honesty.  When you return home I shall give you a letter for my brother Morcar.  You are the only man I trust to deliver it.”

“Whatever you command your majesty.”

She then did something totally unexpected; she rose and came over to me.  She placed her hands on my cheeks and kissed me full on the lips. “Now go to your lady’s bed before I do something I will regret and take you to mine.” I was confused by both her words and her actions but my own reaction also puzzled me; I loved Gytha and yet I had found myself wanting the woman who had been my father’s wife.

Gytha was asleep when I entered our chamber and that was a relief for I felt that I had betrayed her in some way for I had wanted to bed the Queen which would have betrayed not only my wife but my dead father. I had not known then she was attracted to me but I suppose the signs had been there as far back as the journey from Rhuddlan all those years ago. This was the start of the torment I felt.
  Each time I saw her I desired her more and more and Gytha became less desirable.  It was like the story my uncle had told me of Pandora and her box.  The Queen had opened it but I was the one who had to face the consequences. I did lie with my lady each night but it did not feel as it had before.  As she lay beneath me I pictured the Queen.

Oidhche na Bliadhn Ùir is the Scottish festival of new year and I found that they celebrated it more than Yuletide or Christmas.
  I would have left earlier but Calum insisted that I stay for the celebrations.  I wanted to leave for I found each day increasingly uncomfortable. I think that I was the only person not inebriated. It is hard to watch those you like behaving in an excessive fashion when their inhibitions are down.  There was wild dancing and flings.  Many of the lords present passed out in a drunken stupor and even the Queen and my wife were more than a little drunk. Calum had a perpetual grin on his face and he staggered around the room kissing all the ladies; apparently it was a Scottish custom.  He even kissed Gytha and the worrying thing was I felt no jealousy. He staggered off to bed, helped by his Steward and Gytha lay asleep in her chair. I was about to take her to bed when I realised that the Queen still remained.

“Your majesty, can I escort you to your chamber?”

She stood a little unsteadily.  “It appears, Lord Aelfraed, that I am the only lady not to be kissed tonight.” She lurched towards me. I felt dishonourable for I knew what she intended and did nothing to stop it.  A part of me wanted it to happen and when our lips met I held her as tightly as she held me. When we pulled away there was a wild look in her eyes which I knew was also in mine. Huskily she said, “Yes, my lord, you may escort me.” She took my hand and led me to her chamber.

When we had finished and she lay back, her eyes sleepy but content, she murmured.
  “It was worth waiting for and was everything I had hoped.”

I believed I was the worst kind of traitor as I trudged back to the hall.
  I too had enjoyed the moment but immediately it was over, I had felt such guilt that I almost fled the chamber. When I reached the hall Gytha was still asleep and I picked her up in my arms and carried her to our chamber.  I deposited her on the bed and then sat in the chair.  How could I lie next to her when I had been unfaithful? When it came to fellow warriors I would never break my word but with the mother of my child…

The next day I resolved to leave, if only to avoid a further moment of indiscretion. The Queen acted as though nothing untoward had occurred while Gytha was just embarrassed about passing out and kept apologising to me; that made the whole thing seem much worse. Calum, Thegn of Fife pleaded with me to stay
but I was able to use the excuse of the Queen’s missive and I rode through his gates desperate to be back in Topcliffe where I would not have to view the scene of my shame.

Branton was quite chatty on the way home.
  It seems the serving girls had taken a fancy to him and he had enjoyed the company of a different woman each night. I admired the fact that he had the freedom to do so and to be free from guilt. He had also picked up some gossip which I found interesting. “One of the servant girls overheard a conversation between the King when he made a visit and the Thegn of Fife. It seems that one of the Aetheling’s men visited Sweyn in Denmark.”

“Does that not seem strange Branton?
  That a servant girl should be privy to such information and then pass it on to you?”

He grinned.
  “Oh there was a reason, my lord.  She was telling me because she said that when the Danes invaded I could run north and set up house with her.”

I rode in silence as I weighed up that piece of information. It sounded true and I could not see what the girl could gain from a lie.
  What was more worrying was that the Thegn of Fife had not told me that information. It called into question our friendship.  Why had he offered to look after the Queen and Gytha?  Was he a gaoler?  His role seemed somewhat ambiguous because, unlike the other lords, he did accompany the King on his journeys through his land. It was a Gordian knot and it would need both Aethelward and me to untangle it. The rest of the journey was a pure horror of snow, ice and driving wind which ripped sleet and snow through every miniscule gap in our clothes. Even the hardy horses struggled to make it through some of the snow drifts and we were glad to see the familiar walls of home loom large in the distance.