Over the Fence (39 page)

He collapsed on my chest and the only sound in the room was our ragged breathing. I lifted my hand and caressed his hair as he lay on top of me, his weight warm and solid. After a few minutes he pulled out of me, rolled to the side and dragged me to his chest, his arms holding me snug as he nuzzled his lips in my hair.

“I love you, Kourtney.”

I snuggled even closer, his quiet declaration making me feel complete. “I love you,” I said, trying to stifle the yawn that escaped as I spoke.

“Sleep, my sweet girl.” His voice was tender and amused. “I’ll be here when you wake up.” His arms tightened around me. “Promise me you’ll be here when I do.”

“I will. I’m not going anywhere.”

He sighed. “Good. I need you with me.”

I smiled as I drifted into sleep.

He loved me.

He needed me.

Me.

This perfect man.

Perfect for me.

And the other voice . . . was finally silent.

Kourtney was sleeping, her body curled into mine. My fingers stroked her thick hair spread out on the pillow as I gazed down at her. Her self-image was distorted, she couldn’t see it, but she was beautiful—and so vulnerable and broken. I smiled sadly, thinking of the fact I had just experienced the most meaningful sex of my life; with a woman who was completely convinced she wasn’t good enough to be loved by anyone, yet deserved to be loved more than any person I had ever met. I hadn’t meant to tell her I loved her today. I didn’t want to do that until she knew who I was and what I was hiding from her. But seeing her pain earlier, her panic at allowing me to see her fully, I had to let her know how I felt about her.

I had thought she was really shy, but there was so much more to her fears than I had realized. Hearing the fact she cringed away from my touch, fearing a negative reaction, had caused my heart to ache. My fingers cupped the back of her head, as I remembered the pain in her eyes when she looked at me, expecting rejection and coldness, while she at last revealed her fears to me. She would never get either from me. I had fallen in love with her spirit, her giving, thoughtful ways and her physical appearance was only enhanced by what I knew lay underneath. To me she was perfect. And I would do whatever it took to help her see herself the way I saw her, not the image she had been forced into seeing all these years.

I knew from the things she had told me, she had spent most of her life knowing only criticism and the feeling of never being enough. I frowned as I thought about her loneliness and isolation, of the constant denial and neglect she had experienced. How the effects of the treatment she’d experienced had lingered, causing her to shy away from people since she now expected rejection.

My rage was huge toward the people who caused her to feel she wasn’t enough. I thought of the times I had been told I was loved: by my parents, by Sophie and Trevor, even the occasional friend threw it out there. The fact she had been denied those words
all
of her life made me furious. How could they not see the wonderful,
stunning
, giving woman in front of them? How could they have ridiculed and berated a young girl to the point she stopped believing she could ever be enough for anyone? That she was worth less than them?

I could feel my wrath building as I thought of my sister Sophie. All my life I had protected my younger sister and I couldn’t understand how Kourtney’s brother had been the one causing her pain, joining her tormentors at school and in public, then continued his callous behavior behind the closed doors of their house. Or her own father, who not only allowed him to hurt her, but joined in on a regular basis. I couldn’t fathom how they lived with themselves and what they’d done to Kourtney.

I wrapped my arms back around my sleeping girl and brought her closer. Would I ever be able to make her fully see how infinitely precious she was to me? She would never be denied warmth, caresses or loving words. She would never again be subjected to treatment like that. And I would protect her against anyone who tried. Silently, I promised to safeguard her. To be everything she had never had growing up.

To love her unconditionally.

Closing my eyes, I drifted off, wrapped up in the warmth and scent of
her
. My Kourtney.

Kourtney’s gentle hand was running over my chest and shoulder, tracing my tattoo over and again. I opened my eyes to watch her touch my skin; her bottom lip caught up in her teeth as she studied the movements of her hand. I had to smile at the look of concentration on her face, and as if sensing I was now awake, her gorgeous eyes flew to mine and she withdrew her hand.

I shook my head and released one arm still wrapped around her. I placed her hand back on my chest. “Don’t stop. Touch me, Kourtney. I love how it feels when you touch me.”

She smiled nervously, but went back to her loving caresses. “I like touching you,” she whispered.

I hummed. “That’s a good thing.” I ghosted my hand up and down her side, relishing the feeling of her warm, supple skin stretched over her curves. “I love touching you. “ I murmured. “Your skin feels like silk.”

I felt her stiffen, but she didn’t pull away. I continued stroking her, silently willing her to relax. To accept my touch as it was meant—a way of showing my adoration. “I love your curves, Kourtney. I love how you feel under my fingers.” I grinned and shifted, pinning her underneath me, chuckling at her quiet gasp. “I love how
you
feel under me.” I nuzzled my face into her neck, kissing and nipping my way up to her ear. “I love how I feel inside you, how you feel wrapped around me. Nothing compares to the sensation of being buried inside your warmth,” I groaned.

I saw the look of nervous want on her face. She still couldn’t believe someone could find her desirable or I could find her sexy. I stifled a sigh, knowing I had to be patient and show her until she
knew
without a doubt how amazing she was; as a friend, a lover and a person.

I drew her mouth to mine, kissing her deep, drinking in her taste. I didn’t stop until I felt her relax under me, until I knew she was as lost with my kisses as I was with hers. I swept my hand over her, my mouth never leaving hers as I touched and caressed her entire body. I slid my fingers along the warmth of her skin, as I slowly stoked the growing fire between us. I ground my aching cock into her, needing her to feel my want. The want I had for her. Only for her.

Her touch was hesitant at first, but became bolder as we lost ourselves to each other. Light, tender caresses became firmer and more confident; her hands began pulling me down to her, molding my body to hers as she began rocking up against me. Nestling between her legs, I felt her heat and wetness, desire coursing through me once again.

Her head fell back with a sexy, passion filled moan. “Take me, Nathan. Make me yours again,” she pleaded.

Growling low in my throat, I eased my aching cock into her warmth, stilling at the feeling. She arched up, taking all of me and groaning at the connection. I wrapped her up, and without breaking contact, rolled us so she was on top of me. Her eyes flew open as she sat up and stared down at me in shock; her hands crossing over her chest as she stilled. “What are you doing?” she whispered, panic evident in her voice.

I sat up, pulling her mouth down to mine, kissing her hard. “
You,
Kourtney, take
me
. Make
me
yours,” I commanded softly as I lay back down, watching her with hooded eyes. “Show me you want me as much as I want you. Take control—” I urged.

Her wide eyes met mine. I loosened her arms she had folded across her chest. “Don’t hide from me, Kourtney. Don’t cover yourself up from my eyes.” I held her hips tight as I thrust upwards, watching her eyes widen again at the sensation. “Trust me. Be with me . . . give me this. Please.” The last word was a low groan as I felt her clench her muscles around me with her desire.

My thumbs traced small circles on the flesh on her hips. “I love how soft you are here. How you fit in my hands.” I leaned up, wrapping her in my arms. “How your breasts sway as you move . . . it’s so fucking sexy to me, Kourtney. How you flow into me . . . it drives me wild,” I murmured huskily into her ear, loving how she shuddered at my words before I laid back down, watching her as she struggled to let go of her fears.

“I want you, Kourtney. All of you. Have me now . . . make me yours,” I pleaded with her, arching back up into her again. “Ride me, Kourtney,” I groaned, pleasure spiking through my body.

Her face changed, her uncertainty lifting as pure desire lit her face.

“Yesss . . .” I hissed as she began moving over me, filled with need at the vision before me. Slowly she built a rhythm, and I followed her actions, letting her control both of us. Watching her as she writhed above me, I moaned in satisfaction. Her hair floated past her shoulders in a dark cloud, her breasts jutting out as her head arched back and she started riding me in deep, languid movements, her hips rolling smoothly as she pushed and pulled, building the heat and pushing my need for her to the limit.

Sitting up, I yanked her close, lowering my head and using my lips and teeth on her full breasts, cupping them as I kissed and teased her hard nipples. Her panting breaths in my ear as she clung to me turned into a low gasp as her body went taut, and she shuddered as she found her release. My name fell from her lips as she convulsed around me, causing my own orgasm to tear through me as I crushed her to me. I thrust up into her one last time, riding out the spasms before I stilled, holding her tight. I couldn’t stop myself from trailing kisses over her rich hair or my fingers from running up and down her back as we clung to each other in the moment.

Gently, I held her with me as I lay back down, keeping her close when she tried to move off. “Don’t even think about it, Chefgirl,” I warned softly. “And stop thinking what you’re thinking. You’re perfect where you are,” I mumbled into her hair, refusing to let her move, loving the feeling of being wrapped up in her. She allowed herself to relax and we both sighed in peace.

“I love you,” I breathed as I grazed my lips across her crown yet again, unable to stop kissing her.

Her arms tightened on my shoulders. “I love you, Nathan.”

“That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, Kourtney.”

She lifted her head from my chest and I propped mine up to look back at her. Her voice was shy when she spoke. “Really?”

I nodded, lifting her hand to my mouth to caress it. “The woman I love, trusting me—that itself is a turn on . . .” I stared, watching the color creep onto her cheeks as my voice dropped. “But watching you ride me, Kourtney? Fucking hot. And something I want to see again and again. You’re so sexy; you have no idea.”

She chuckled and boldly pressed her hips down where we were still joined, causing a small groan to escape. “I think I may have a pretty good idea how turned on you were,” she whispered as she waggled her eyebrows at me, making me chuckle along with her. Her hand reached up and gently traced my lips. “You make me feel . . . sexy, Nathan.” Her cheeks deepened again as she shook her head in wonder. “I’ve never felt like that before,” she added.

“You are sexy, Kourtney. I thought it the first time I saw you and I think it now. It isn’t going to change.”

“Be patient with me, please,” she whispered. “This is all new to me.”

I rolled us over, and gathered her into my arms. “I will be, Kourtney. Please trust me. I love you.
You.
Not your dress size, not the imperfections you see when you look at yourself. Just you. Understand?”

She nodded against my chest.

“I’ll try.”

I held her closer.

“That’s all I ask.”