OVERTIME (19 page)

Chapter 11

Jagger’s entire body felt warm and relaxed, the alcoholic liquid courage doing the trick for him like he’d hoped it would. They were on the air mattress on the open deck of the boat and Colton’s body was close enough that his delicious heat was tempting Jagger to be brave, just like Colton had dared him. He was so accustomed to denying himself any fun. It found strangely naughty to even allow dirty thoughts of touching the man next to him to enter his mind. He breathed in deeply, inhaling Colton’s masculine scent and loving how it aroused him in an instant.

When they’d returned to Island House, he’d quickly ordered one drink right after another—loving the delicious feeling of reckless abandon that it created inside him. He felt invincible. The urge to try new things, experiment with the dark thoughts that had slunk around in the corners of his mind for year after year, had grown with each and every drink.

The video room? Fuck - that was about the only word that would come close to describing it. They’d watched gay porn…and then watched strangers fuck. His cock had been so hard that he feared it might literally break off if anyone had bumped against him. Of course, nobody did. Colton’s eyes sent out warning after warning to anybody foolish enough to want to try and hit on the new guy. Rory and Riley had made fun of his jealous overprotectiveness. Jagger had loved it. Hell, he’d loved everything about the entire night. He was ready
…

“Your friends are nice,” he said to Colton. His voice was slightly slurred and when he heard it, he laughed, or giggled, rather. Fuck, he sounded like a drunk idiot. If he wasn’t careful, he could find himself using his liquid courage as a crutch to help him through life. He still couldn’t believe he’d missed this wonderful feeling all through his boring college life. Hell, he and Tara Reid could conquer the world! He wanted to be able to forget it in the morning, pretend like it never happened and he was pretty sure he could do it with the help of the warm sloshy feeling in his stomach. He would be able to walk away from Colton and step right back into the life plan he had set for himself. If he couldn’t remember, he would be able to survive going back to what he was.

“They’re great; a big hot mess, but great.” Colton nudged him with his shoulder. “They liked you. It was nice to see you open up and have some fun. You’re really hot when you smile and laugh. It’s something I could get used to.” Colton winked at him. “That jealousy thing with Mason was fucking hot, too.”

Jagger felt Colton watching him but, for once, he allowed himself to not hide his emotions behind his cool, boring facade. He turned and looked him in the eyes, took a breath for courage, and then eased up on his elbows. The boat felt like it shifted and swayed and he grabbed Colton’s arm to steady himself. No, the boat hadn’t shifted. He was drunk off his ass. He was also hornier than hell.

“Easy, wildcat,” Colton warned. “I think you’ve had one too many. Wherever you think you’re going, you need to rethink it and stay right here with me.” Colton was trying not to laugh, but failing miserably. He clearly thought loopy, drunk Jagger was breathtakingly cute.

“Nope, I’m not going to rethink anything. I know what I want and I’m going to take it,” Jagger slurred out as he moved even closer to Colton, leaning over him until his lips were only inches away from Colton’s chest. He licked his lips. “I’ve wanted to see if you taste as good as you smell since about my third drink. Do you?” He asked as he dropped his head the final distance and flicked his tongue against Colton’s nipple. His tongue swiped and then he sucked hard, drawing a moan out of Colton, followed by a curse. He tasted so fucking good. His head swayed and explosions started going off inside of him. Hungry for more, he flung his body on top of Colton’s and began kissing the nipple he’d just teased and then started working his way downward.

“Fuck, Jagger,” Colton cursed again. “You’re killing me, babe. Don’t do this, okay?” He pleaded as his hands gripped Jagger’s face, preventing him from dropping any lower…dying on the inside because he was having to stop him from doing what he’d fantasized about for his entire life. His hands tangled in Jagger’s silky hair and held him steady.

“What?” Jagger asked, drunken confusion marring his perfect features. “Don’t do what?”

“Come on, Jag. Lay down next to me. You’re drunk right now. We don’t do this for the first time when you’re drunk.” He tried again to pull Jagger’s face up closer to him, anything to get them away from the danger, no-turning-back zone.

Colton watched as Jagger met his gaze. His blue eyes could barely focus, but there was no hiding the hurt that was suddenly there because of him. Fuck!

“You’re turning me down?” Jagger whispered in shock and shame and then burst out laughing—a disgusted, self-loathing laugh that broke Colton’s heart. “Perfect, Colton. You win; you got me. Has this been great fun for you? Toying with the straight poor boy until his head is completely fucked up?” He scrambled off of Colton, falling backwards and banging his head against the side of the boat. “Fuck!”

“Please, Jagger,” Colton pleaded. “I’m not turning you down. I would never turn you down. I’ve wanted you forever.” He got up and tried to reach for Jagger, only to have his hand knocked away with a snarl. “You’re drunk, babe. I don’t want to do something to you that you might regret in the morning. Please don’t think it’s anything other than that.”

“Fuck you, Colton! Get the fuck away from me. You take me to the damned airport right now,” he practically screamed. Embarrassed fury was the only thing driving him at the moment. Fuck it, but nobody wanted him. His mother had run away in her shiny red convertible and his dad had used him for a punching bag or a gopher to pick up cigarettes or beer. What the fuck was wrong with him?

Where was his blessed numbness?

Colton reached for him again, determined to calm the man he’d been infatuated with for years, but Jagger had other ideas. Before Colton could even register what was about to happen, Jagger’s fist swung back and connected with his jaw with enough force to send him flying backwards. The last thought he had before his head connected with the railing was that he’d hurt the person he cared most about pleasing. After that, everything went completely black.

It seemed like everything moved in slow motion as Jagger watched his fist connect with Colton’s jaw, saw Colton’s shocked and sad expression, saw him lose his balance and fall backward…saw the back of his head connect with the railing with a deafening thud. He sat there, struggling to breathe, and waited for Colton to sit up and scream at him for cold-clocking him or maybe even lunge at him and beat the shit out of him. Neither happened, though. Colton just lay there, looking deathly pale and lifeless.

Shit! He scrambled clumsily across the deck and grabbed Colton, pulling him up against him. His fingers trembled as he frantically felt for a pulse and then breathed a sigh of relief when he picked up on the strong and steady rhythm thumping beneath his fingertip. “Fuck, Colton, I’m sorry,” he mumbled in drunkenly slurred words. “I…I thought you wanted me.”

His hands stroked the side of Colton’s face. His warm skin and evening stubble felt perfect and he wanted more. He was alone, completely alone and could do whatever he wanted and nobody would know. This was probably the last chance he would ever have to touch Colton and his body screamed for just a sample to take home—something to keep him warm at night or another fantasy to use when he tried to fuck a woman. There wouldn’t be judgement or denial. Slowly, because he wasn’t even fucking brave when it was just him, he allowed his head to drop lower and lower until his lips were less than an inch away from Colton’s. One last time and then he was gone. Colton would be a mere memory and he would be right back where he belonged.

His lips dropped to claim the prize. It was a gentle, almost virginal kiss but it meant the world to him. “I always wanted to be your friend, Colton. I was just ashamed. I’m still ashamed. I can’t be brave.” He kissed him one more time and saw one of his tears splash onto Colton’s cheek. He hadn’t been able to shed a real tear in years. He supposed they’d all been frozen up inside of him. “Thank you for our date.”

Gently, he eased
him back down to the deck and covered him with one of the quilts. He knew he wouldn’t be passed out long, so he needed to move and move quickly. With one last look, he stood up and had to grab for the railing to keep from kissing the deck. Fuck, but he was drunk. A hell of a lot of good his liquid courage did him. Instead of tossing all his reservations and fear to the wind and having wild passionate sex with the man he had always wanted, the alcohol was only going to make his run-and-hide like the pussy he was even harder.

He fumbled for his cell and dropped it onto the deck twice before he finally got a good grip and managed to dial Riley’s number. Instead of the easing up, he felt drunker and drunker by the second. The fucking boat was rocking and spinning in drunk circles. He closed his eyes, hoping that would ease the swirling in his head and the pitching in his stomach. It didn’t. He was in so much fucking trouble. A moan from Colton behind him heightened his urge to disappear, so he trapped the cell between his shoulder and ear and used his hand to hold to the railing and start shuffling toward the escape route.

“What’s up, Jagger? Please don’t tell me you’re calling for some pointers? You seemed to really know what you wanted when you and Colton left the bar.” Riley answered on the second ring. “I hope you’re being a good boy for Colton.”

Riley sounded so excited, so happy for him. The poor fool thought he was a fucking match-maker instead of a Jagger heart-breaker. Shit, it was hard to walk when the whole world was spinning like a top.

“I need your help, Riley. I need help really badly, man. Can you call and get me a flight out of here tonight? I swear I’ll pay you as soon as I get back. I just…I’ve got to get out of here. Now.” Almost there…seven more steps maybe. He could do this. “Yeah, I need a ride to the airport, too.”

“How drunk are you?” Riley demanded sharply. “You sound drunk off your ass. Where’s Colton? What’s going on, Jagger?”

“Yes, I’m drunk. I’m drunk off my ass, but that isn’t the problem right fucking now. I need a flight out of here and I need it tonight! Can you help me or not?” He stumbled and nearly went down. A string of curse words spewed out of his mouth and then the damned phone slipped and fell to the boat’s deck with a thud. “Shit! Fuck it!” Leaning over but with one hand still gripping the railing, he tried to grab for the fucker but could have sworn it was jumping around like a damned flea…always right out of his reach. He could still clearly hear Riley screaming at him from his end of the call.

Finally, it stayed still long enough for him to wrap his fingers around it and bring it back to his ear. His stomach was rolling and pitching worse than the boat. His skin felt clammy and there was a horrible taste in his mouth. Saliva kept puddling and he kept trying to swallow it down.

“Stop screaming, Riley. Can you help me, or not?”

“Of course I can help you, Jag. I’m using Landry’s phone right now to make a flight reservation for you. Can I talk to Colton? Is he fucking sober? I need to talk to somebody that has a clear head and I don’t think you are that person.”

“He doesn’t want me,” Jagger spit out. “It’s been a fucking joke the entire fucking time. Colton was fucking with me for fun.”

“Put Colton on the phone, Jagger. Now!”

Jagger could hear the anger vibrating over the phone. Riley was furious. He’d seen Riley pissed over ballgames and poor athletic performances when he knew they could do better. He’d even witnessed Riley get edgy with Colton, but he really couldn’t remember him ever sounding this mad. He knew the poor guy had to be wondering how the fuck Jagger had been able to
screw things up so royally since everything had appeared to be going fucking awesome when he and Colton had left them at the bar. Hell, he wasn’t even sure himself. All he knew was that he’d done it—he’d given his heart away to someone who didn’t want it and he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to get it back. It was this very reason why he’d always fought to stay away from any type of relationship—man or woman, friend or lover.

“Colton can’t come to the phone right now,” he slurred out. “I clocked him. He’s passed out cold. Hell, Riley, he made me want him and…and…”

About a second too late, he realized he was going to throw up. He barely managed to get his head over the railing before the vile liquid courage came hurtling back and into the ocean water…along with his cell phone. Fucking perfect. He swore he could still hear Riley screaming before it disappeared completely out of sight.

Colton’s cell lay innocently a few inches away from where he was leaning, trying to steady himself since the boat was suddenly going topsy-turvy. Just for the general purpose of being a dick-head, he tossed Colton’s phone right over the side so it could drown a slow death right next to his. In his drunken state, it only seemed fair and to be perfectly honest, it made him feel a hell of a lot better.

Fuck it. He didn’t need anybody’s help. He’d always had to depend on himself for everything so he could depend on himself for this. With sheer determination and a heaping helping of self-pity, he managed to get off the boat. With slow, steady steps he walked the length of the docks, staying as close to the center as his drunken steps would allow. People looked strangely at him, but most stepped out of his way. Yeah, he had the worldwide look of drunk-dude-about-to-puke that everyone recognized and feared. One brave asshole had the nerve to stop him and ask where Colton was, a worried look on his face. Jagger was pretty sure he puked on him; not one hundred percent sure, but pretty damned sure. Whatever happened, dude let go of him pretty quickly and Jagger kept shuffling along. He didn’t have a fucking clue where he was going, he just knew he had to get away from Colton.