Max had vowed that he would get to the bottom of the break-in. And he would keep that promise.
His laptop still sat on the island top. He checked the alarm and cameras Alex had given him access to.
The blinking red light showed him that one of the balcony doors was open. He frowned. He grabbed his water and hurried down the hall. All of the interior doors were still closed. Not wanting to go into Cassie’s bedroom without invitation, he paused at the studio door.
He listened but couldn’t hear any sound coming from inside.
Slowly, he turned the knob and, as silently as he could, pushed the door open. The first things he spotted were several large canvases tossed on the ground half-completed. One of the easels held a blank sheet and paint lay scattered around on the wheeled table.
He peered further in the room and spotted her.
She did, indeed, have the balcony doors open as she sat on the deck leaning against one of them.
Max stepped into the room. He hadn’t expected to really find her there. He’d thought she’d left the door open by mistake. Now he wasn’t entirely sure he should disturb her.
“Couldn’t sleep?” she asked quietly, not even turning her head.
“No,” he replied. Since she’d spoken first, he decided to take a chance. He walked closer. “I see you started working.”
She snorted. “It was all shit.”
The anger in her tone surprised him. He strolled forward then paused in the doorway. She looked a little lost holding an empty wineglass and staring out into the night.
“I’m sure it will take a bit to get back into the rhythm.”
She shook her head. “Fucking sucks.”
Max wondered if she was drunk. He crouched down beside her. “What?”
She turned her head to look at him.
He saw frustration in her eyes. “I can’t reproduce what I lost, never have been able to. I paint…what I feel at the time. And right now I feel nothing, so all that”—she waved a hand back into the studio—“was just a waste of time.”
Unable to offer much in words, Max decided just to listen to her talk. He didn’t know much about art. However, even he had heard about Cassie’s work. She’d been scared, but if he were honest, he preferred the fury he now heard. He stretched his legs out and mirrored her position against the second door.
“I wonder if they knew,” she continued. “Whoever did this shit—did they know that I would never be able to make up what I lost?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yeah.” She sighed. “I guess it doesn’t matter anyway.”
When she didn’t say anything else, he racked his brain on what he could do to help. “Tell me about your favorite painting.”
Her eyebrows drew together. “Favorite?”
He nodded. “Yeah, out of everything you’ve ever done, what’s your favorite?”
She smiled. “Jacob and Peyton’s wedding present.”
“Tell me about it.”
“About six months until the wedding, Peyton and I went for a run. She was getting nervous about everything left to do for the wedding and I’d just finished my first showing and was exhausted.”
She paused and looked at him. He inclined his head for her to continue.
“We drove farther into the canyon where no one else would be. We shifted and… God, I still remember it. It had been so long since I’d transformed into my wolf. The freedom… I remember thinking that if I never turned back it would be okay.”
She laughed then. “But Peyton was still all tied up inside, so we ran. It must have been for hours. It was still early when we’d first started out, and even when it got dark, we didn’t stop. We chased turkey and a few small critters, but we weren’t after any of them. We just needed to let loose.”
Max could see it. He could picture it perfectly as she shared her memory. He’d never experienced for himself what she spoke about. Although listening to her, he felt closer to another shifter than he ever had in his life.
“Alex and Jacob must have gotten worried. They followed our trail and found us. I knew Alex was mad, so I shifted back. But Jacob just went over to Peyton and buried his muzzle into her neck.”
Her voice softened. “It was then that I realized how much they really loved each other. Watching Jacob and Peyton together, I could feel my fingers wanting to reconstruct that moment. Alex and I left the two of them alone and I came straight here. I painted the two of them in a couple of days. Didn’t eat, didn’t sleep, I just had to get it down on a canvas.”
Cassie met his gaze with tears in her eyes. “It was perfect. The moment that I saw, and I gave it to them. They both cried they loved it so much.”
Max wished he could see the painting she was talking about so passionately.
“That was my favorite.”
Since she was smiling, he was glad he had asked.
“Can I ask you a question?” she said.
“Sure,” he said easily.
“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want. I’m just curious.”
He couldn’t imagine anything that he wouldn’t want to tell her. “Go ahead.”
“You can’t shift, right? Like at all?”
Surprised, Max jerked. Everyone in the pack knew he was a non-shifter. “No.”
She pressed her lips together. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”
He hadn’t meant to snap. “No, it’s okay. It’s just been a long time since anyone has asked.”
She nodded but didn’t look at him.
“Why do you ask?” He wasn’t sure why he wanted to know but he couldn’t see Cassie being cruel. There must have been a reason she was curious.
“I was sitting out here thinking,” she said quietly. “I haven’t shifted in a few weeks and was getting restless. I just wondered if you felt like that. If it bothered you?”
Max took a long drink, finishing his water. “It bothers me,” he confessed.
Her head turned back to him.
“When you spoke about what it felt like… The freedom? I want to know that.”
“I’m sorry,” she started.
He held up a hand. “I always felt left out when the pack shifted together. At first, when I was young, one of my parents would have to stay with me. Then as I got older I could be left on my own. Don’t get me wrong, everyone tried to include me, but it wasn’t the same.”
“That had to be terrible.”
Grunting, he nodded.
“Is that why you left?”
No one had ever asked him that. He was sure his parents and Chase knew, even suspected Alpha Shawn had a good idea, but no one had ever said the words out loud. “Yes.”
“But you can feel him? Your wolf?”
“Sometimes,” he admitted. “I don’t think it’s the same like you or Chase, but there have been times I’m uneasy or the animal fighting to get out. I’ve dealt with him long enough that I can ignore it but…” He wasn’t really wanting to share how much he had despised his wolf at one time.
It sucked to be different. Growing up, he had just wanted to fit in.
They sat for a few moments in silence.
“I bet he’s fucking beautiful.”
He’d been staring out into the dark night and jerked his face to hers. She was blushing, her fingers twined together, legs moving slightly.
“Yeah?” he asked, pleased.
She peeked up at him through her bangs and nodded.
“How would you describe him?” he questioned.
She bit her lip and searched his face. He didn’t know what she was looking for, but whatever it was, she must have found it.
“Black, he would be pure black. Chase has some white and gray in his coat, but you would be solid black.”
He was charmed by her. Wanting, maybe even needing more, he moved closer. “And?”
“Powerful.” She scooted the few inches that separated them “Strong and dominant, but not pushy. He’d have broad shoulders and a wide chest.”
He wasn’t sure he should find the conversation about his inner animal so arousing but it was. His cock was half hard and getting fuller by the minute.
“A born leader.” She spoke softly. “I’d follow you.”
Their thighs were touching, and he was close enough to catch that her breathing had picked up. He turned his upper body toward hers as she angled her head back to look him in the eye.
“Anything else?” he asked as he raised his hand to her throat. He ran his thumb under her chin.
“Sexy, so damn sexy. Just like you are in human form.”
There was no way he could have denied the attraction that was sparking between them. He slowly inched forward, keeping his gaze locked with hers.
Cassie didn’t back away. Their lips met with the slightest touch. He backed his head a little and watched her eyelids flutter then close.
She was the sexy one. He pressed their mouths together with more force and was rewarded with a moan from her. She gripped the back of his neck while their lips moved against one another.
He teased her bottom lip until she opened for him. Max threaded his fingers through Cassie’s hair and held her head tightly, plundering her mouth. She arched into him, opening even more.
It had been so long since he had been with anyone and never had he felt this fierce so quickly. He wanted to claim and control her.
Cassie’s fingers dug into his arms as she pushed into his hold. She wanted this just as bad as he did. It would be so easy to just roll on top of her and let them sate their hunger for passion.
But it was too soon. They still had a lot to learn about each other. Plus he really was starting to believe that Cassie was the type of woman he’d always searched for. The mate he would find himself settling down with someday. First, he had to make sure he would be able to take care of whomever he chose to mate with. He’d somehow lost himself along the way and he needed to get back the man he once was.
He pulled back slowly and with regret.
She was still reeling from the events of the night before and he wasn’t exactly a catch with his current emotion mess.
But it was so hard to back away when she stared up at him with need written clearly across her face.
“We shouldn’t do this,” he said to her.
She frowned but loosened her hold.
“We have time. We don’t have to rush into anything.” He barely got the words out before he was on his feet and stalking away. He had to put some distance between them. He was not strong enough to resist Cassie Wilson. If he didn’t get away, he would end up claiming her for his own. And she had no idea who he really was.
Max closed his bedroom door firmly and leaned against the cool wood. For the second time in a day, he’d felt his wolf inside clawing to get out. He knew it was impossible, although if he could shift, he had no doubt he would be on four furry paws.
Running his palm over his heart, he closed his eyes, not that it would help. He could picture Cassie’s desire then her confusion. He had screwed up royally.
He slammed his hand on the door.
It wouldn’t be fair to Cassie to start something. He was still trying to deal with what had happened to him and his team. He grabbed the bottom of his shirt and whipped it over his head. Then, with determination, he walked to the mirror above the dresser.
He ran his shaking finger lightly around the tattoo over his heart.
A name and date was scrawled in black. The day that he’d lost his best friend in that hellhole.
Not being able to stop the dreams, unable to understand what had gone wrong, he wasn’t able to offer himself to Cassie. He couldn’t give her what he wasn’t sure still existed.
Chapter Five
Max managed to fall back asleep, but it hadn’t been easy. In addition to being trapped in that rundown house with his team, now the dream had Cassie there as well.
He had been trying to protect her right as the explosion had gone off.
Then he woke up.
Sweating and shaking, he stumbled to the bathroom to try to wash the dream away. The other doors in the hall were all closed, so he didn’t know if Cassie was awake yet or not.
His head might not be on straight in regards to relationships, but he would make sure that Cassie was safe so they would be able to explore the strong connection between them. Lying in bed the night before with her scent still surrounding him, he’d been happy for the first time in longer than he could remember.
Not wanting to disturb her if she was still asleep, Max quietly strolled down the hall and into the bathroom. He turned the shower knob on hot and closed the door to warm up the glass stall. He bent over to the sink to peer at himself in the mirror.
The dark circles that he had been carrying around the last couple of months were worse. His skin was too pale, plus the weight loss he’d suffered was more obvious.
He needed to take better care of himself. He couldn’t figure out why Cassie would even be attracted to him in his current state. But there was something about her. Whenever they were in the same room, he felt a pull in her direction.
There were some decisions that he needed to make. He didn’t like the person he was becoming. Now, if he could just figure out how to get back everything he’d lost in himself, he would have something to offer Cassie. He needed to be his own man again.
Determination pulsing inside him, he pushed away from his image and climbed into the shower. The almost scorching water pelted down on him and he sighed deeply as his muscles relaxed.
He grabbed the shower gel off the shelf then poured a good amount into his palm. With his other hand, he used a washcloth to scrub himself clean. He felt better and the fog from the nightmare lifted.
Max rolled his shoulders and rinsed the soap from his body before shampooing his hair. Still keeping the buzz cut from his Navy days saved him time.
Body freshened up, he fisted his half-hard cock, sliding his hand up and down slowly. He’d been somewhat hard since he’d first laid eyes on Cassie. Since he’d returned to the States, it had only been his hand he’d had as company. And that was when he could even get it up. But all of that was changing.
He tightened his hold and, stroking himself faster, called up the memory of the kisses they’d shared the night before. Cassie’s soft lips beneath his played through his mind, and the pressure of her body heightened his arousal.
He groaned and his cum squirted, painting the shower wall. It had been a long time since he’d gone over the edge so quickly. With a lighter air, he rinsed once more, making sure to clean his spunk off the wall then turned the water off. He grabbed one of the towels from the rod next to him and dried himself just as a knock came from the front of the house.