Pale Rider: Zombies versus Dinosaurs (3 page)

“You didn’t pick the wrong spot, Pale Rider.”
Solomon was leaning forward, trying to catch a glimpse of
something. “Here comes some company now. I can see the trees
moving. Best prepare yourself!”

I looked the direction he had been leaning
towards. Nothing came to view. I was holding my breath, though out
of instinct. As if preparing to drown myself in the next few
upcoming moments. The mind had to be clear and ready. I tightened
the reigns in my hands, making sure they wouldn’t fall to the
ground. I have to be clear and ready… clear and ready… clear and
ready.

A giant green something poked above the trees
and then was gone again. I hadn’t been looking up, so I didn’t
catch a good look at whatever that was. Maybe it was some bird or
something. Something turned out to be the correct guess, as the
same brontosaurus from earlier crashed through toward us. The blues
still bit at the animal, but the dinosaur was distinctive in its
pattern. The beast focused on stamping us out of existence. As we
fled to either side, the lumbering giant swung its head like a
club. Avant was knocked back 15 feet and collapsed in a heap. The
sickening crunch of him landing told me he would not be getting
back up. His sudden death was a stark reminder why men like us
shouldn’t have families.

I then saw something I shouldn’t have.
Something I knew was impossible. The zombies were not all biting.
Some were just clinging on while the ones on the other side were
biting. Several detached and ran towards my friend's corpse,
devouring him. Were they riding the dinosaur? Dumb, mindless
killing machines had figured out a way to ride a dinosaur?

Perhaps they tapped into some predatory
instinct. Perhaps they knew how to make the dinosaurs flock.

“Move! Move!” came a distant voice.

Perhaps they had a way of motivating the
beasts in a way no sane person would ever try. After all, who in
their right mind would try biting a dinosaur?

“For all the peace! Move Pale Rider!” came
the voice again. It was Solomon up in the tree.

I snapped out of my curiosity and pushed my
beast away from the brontosaurus. I chose a path to the left that
was cut when we first swept through the blue brain zombies. The
brush was clear and perhaps the beast wouldn’t pick up the sound as
much as cutting a fresh path would. My hands tightened on the
reigns until my knuckles were white. I had a feeling my name, Pale
Rider, was well deserved at that moment. I broke free to a valley,
hoping to have a moment to think.

As I turned to look back, a head above the
trees was looking at me. Of course! The dinosaur is tall enough
that it can look above the trees to see where I was going. I
decided to bail into some brush and try my luck at not getting
stepped on.

It took little persuading my triceratops to
flee. I forcefully chose a path with lots of bushes and hedges.
When I felt the tree canopy was thick, along with the brushes, I
leapt off the dinosaur. I landed on a hard rock that felt like a
punch to the ribs. If I were lucky, I would escape this encounter
with just a few bruised ribs. I ran away from where I had landed. I
only had moments before my landing spot was stamped down into the
earth. I froze in place, eyes wide looking at where I had just
been. If I had been even a half second later, I would be human
paste. I froze like a statue, partly to minimize sound, partly from
panic.

The brontosaurus caught up to my ride and I
heard a brief squeal as it got clubbed on the side. Not sure how
blues figured out this trick, but they had done so in spades. They
knew these dinosaurs far better than we ordinary humans. A chill
went up my back at that moment. Maybe they were clearing the land
of us. I knew that this land was too good of a deal.

Cursing myself, I moved through the trees and
brush as quietly as possible. I wanted to reach where Solomon was
last at. Perhaps his plan B or D or E or whatever, was something we
could use. Perhaps he just had a way to escape and leave this land.
It would be a long trek to get back home.

It took the better part of a tense hour to
get back the ground my triceratops had made in minutes. I
discovered the tree he had been up in. Thankfully, the tree was
still upright. Yet, he was nowhere to be seen. There was only one
option left open to me.

I kept sneaking down the path we had cleared
previously. Perhaps if I was quiet and consistent with my pace, I
would get out. Soft groans came from behind me. Of course! The
blues who were eating my fellow rider. Apparently they wanted a
taste of both of us. There weren’t many, but I didn’t know if they
had a way to signal more dinosaur riders. We knew that their moans
attracted more, but would it bring those riding the dinosaur? I
tried to move quicker and made some darting movements around
shrubs. Hopefully, I could lose the zombie tail I had gained. When
I thought I was far enough away, I zipped into a small dark cave.
It was risky because I wouldn’t know who was inside. Still, zombies
liked shambling in the daylight. More prey outside than in caves. I
took a vantage point near the opening of the cave to look out.

I saw my tail break through the brush. They
had a pretty good scent for me. They didn’t appear to know where I
was at for the moment. The only thing near me was the dripping of
water. I knew that light sound wouldn’t cause suspicion, so I kept
still. They pawed at the ground in an odd manner. Why did they
touch the ground? Perhaps they saw a squirrel or an unusual indent?
The dripping water behind me seemed to get a little louder. I
looked back, but couldn’t spot where the drip was coming from. I
didn’t see any streams or rivers near here, so I wasn’t sure why
there would be dripping water. I heard it again, this time right
beside me. An injured blue had been slowly scraping closer to me,
and I had assumed it was water. The creature swung its jaws in my
direction just as I moved my leg. That was close.

The other blue darted their heads in my
direction. It was time to move again. I got about ten feet away
from the opening of the cave, when the whole thing collapsed. A
giant bang had caused the ground to move. Some distant boom toward
the left was causing things to shake. I froze again. It couldn’t
be…

The green dinosaur head appeared in the
distant trees. It looked like the creature was head banging to
music. Or perhaps it was fighting something off. I didn’t want to
know what was going on. This time I used my adrenaline to the full
advantage and moved out of there. I no longer cared about how much
sound, or lack of sound, I was making. I had to get out. I had to
get safe. I had to get home.

I zipped by several blue eating a deer. Only
one looked up at me as I went past their feast. I didn’t care if
they tailed me. I could outrun the blue horde for now. My legs
started to burn from all the movement. I knew that I needed shelter
and quick. I also knew that any idea of shelter would mean death.
Zombies clung to the idea of shelter as if it were a ripe fruit.
They just grew their numbers around any shelter and slowly clawed
their way in. I didn’t know how long I could hold out this pace
though. I stopped for a second and panted. My head began to swim as
I saw white fuzz cloud my vision. If I passed out now, I wouldn’t
wake up. Had to fight that white fuzz in my head and my eyes. I
can’t pass out. I decided that a tree would be my best bet. Perhaps
I could get high enough to hide under the leaves. Once I was sure I
could move without passing out, I found the closest tree and began
to climb. My zombie tail decided my shoes were not meant for
climbing and pulled them off. They then went for my socks, hoping
to get the foot next. I got up in the tree far enough where I could
be safe, if just for a brief moment. I kept climbing.

I had found an excellent spot where two thick
branches met and made a natural seat. I sat there, breathing hard
and doing my best to keep conscious. If I passed out now, I would
fall, and the zombies wouldn’t be the cause of death. That notion
struck me as funny, and I laughed. It was a crazy hopeless laugh.
That being surrounded by zombies and attacking dinosaurs, my death
would come from falling out of a tree. The chuckle grew louder in
my throat. To anyone listening it would sound like a mad cackle.
Some crazed fool was laughing at the top of his lungs. I didn’t get
long to enjoy this new flavor of insanity before the next one came
crashing through.

I didn’t notice the branches above me thin
out; I just saw them violently shake. I then saw a green flash and
the branches near my feet disappeared, snapping and breaking free.
The brontosaurus had heard my laughter and was now eating the tree
I was in like corn on the cob. I scrambled into the middle of the
tree, hoping to both escape notice and consumption. The pace set by
the dinosaur felt hurried and unnatural. I saw most of the branches
were not being eaten, but rather broken and spit out. My cover
started to dwindle quickly. Once I was exposed, it would be a
simple matter of a forward bite to end my life. With few options
left, an idea came to my head. If I had blood left in my face, it
would have drained at the idea. However, with all the desperation,
massive risk was no longer something to be weighed out. Finding a
way to live was going to take a lot of risks, with steep
consequences. I inhaled, squinted, and jumped blindly into the
air.

The brontosaurus snatched branches where I
had been. I clawed at the creature's neck, trying to gain a finger.
I got a hold but was swinging violently with the creature's
momentum. This movement felt like jumping onto a moving car. A
dinosaur is not meant to be saddled in this manner, let alone with
all the beast’s power and momentum being flung around. My arm
curled in the wrong direction and snapped.

High on adrenalin, I ignored the pain as best
I could and had enough presence of mind to grab hold with the other
arm. I held through the swing but would not hold through the
dinosaur swinging its head again. Luckily for me, the dinosaur
didn’t swing its head again. Unlucky for me, the zombies that were
controlling the brontosaurus took note of me and were advancing
fast. I had found myself at the base of the neck of the dinosaur
with mere yards before the zombies were upon me. I looked down at
my broken arm. I flopped the appendage against my body several
times. Again, a mad chuckle burst through my lips, and anger filled
my eyes. Disgust filled my heart. Primal blood lust pounded in my
ears like a war drum. These blue brain bastards had awoken the
actual threat. I ran… at them.

As I neared, I leaned back and did a small
jump towards them. The dinosaur moved almost immediately after my
feet were off the rough green skin of the brontosaurus. My feet,
held together, led my momentum and hit the lead zombie in the
chest. It was a death move, falling on your back around zombies. If
I had time to calculate a strategy, I would have never chosen such
a crazed stunt. I was tired, hurt badly, and running on adrenaline
alone. My feet connected squarely with the lead zombies chest. It
got pushed back into the crowd. The shifting of position, and the
dinosaurs movement ,threw a small crowd of zombies off. I was in a
perfect position to one arm hug and hold the creature. It was an
utterly horrible position, as the panicked dinosaur saw its
opportunity to roll and smash the threat on its back. The ground
came up quickly. I tried to release my fingers but found they
wouldn’t let go.

I released too late and was thrown sideways
into the air by the downward fling. It was enough to avoid most the
damage. Unfortunately, my leg got caught under the dinosaur rolling
on the ground and was crushed instantly. Blinding pain from both my
arm and a leg crashed in. I passed out.

I don’t know how long I was out for. When I
woke up, I didn’t understand. I knew something bad had happened.
What was going on? Why was I outside again? Nessie?

A giant explosion fired above me, and blood
rained down. The brontosaurus gave a death roar as if cursing the
sky and fell on its side. Every inch was quickly soaked in the
falling blood. I was amazed at how salty this blood was. Such an
odd thought to think when your dying, how salty blood can be. I
laid there, smacking my lips in a daze, breathing raggedly. Did I
have to know what was going on? Such a beautiful day to fade off
into.

“Pale Rider!” came a voice from a red tree.
Wait, that was no tree. The head poked out from the tree trunk and
revealed a giant red t-rex. Sharp teeth and fiery eyes looked
around in hate and hunger. Upon its back was Solomon. He was
letting go of the reigns around the t-rex and was holding a red
baton. I stared at him approaching off the t-rex and passed out
again.

“…Light, if I had not seen it. I hope one of
us survives for this tale.” Solomon’s voice came through the
fog.

How had he made up so much ground? He was
just a tiny dot a moment ago. Now he was holding me and dragging me
onto the t-rex. I looked at his hand and saw the red baton. It had
string attached to it. Why was such a strong buff guy holding onto
such a feminine baton? It took my mind a few seconds to connect the
dots, but I had lost a lot of blood.

“Dynamite.” I croaked out, “Your plan D? Or
was the D for dinosaur?”

He looked down at me, smiled, and said with
calm care “Yes”.

“Crazy bastard” I commented to the sky.

“Says the man who leapt from a tree, did a
wrestling move against zombies on a dinosaur, and somehow is still
talking” Solomon retorted. “But that is not what baffles me. Men
will do what it takes to survive. What baffles me is that you were
laughing the whole time. Like this chaos was a fun enjoyable
experience. If anyone is a crazy bastard, your it.”

He had a valid point. Maybe not. I wasn’t
sure. What were we talking about again? Wrestling? Who was
wrestling in the woods?