Palm South University Season 1 Omnibus (29 page)

Nothing can bring us down.

I’m well on my way to a nice buzz when Skyler and Adam challenge me and Jess to a game of beer pong. We claim one of the empty tables and Adam and I grab beer while Jess and Skyler set up the water cups. We haven’t talked since the night of semi-formal, and I feel an awkward tension set in between us as we reach the kegs.

“I heard you’re going to be the new Social Chair,” I say after filling the third cup. I move it to rest on a small table with the others and grab the next.

Adam smiles. “I’m sorry, Cassie.”

“For moving into a leadership position?”

He chuckles and it does something to my stomach that makes me falter the keg nozzle a bit. “No, for being a douche to you. I know you’re too nice to call me out on my shit, but I’m not too proud to admit I was wrong. I shouldn’t have been in your business that night.”

My cheeks burn and I shrug, topping off the last cup. “It’s whatever. I haven’t even thought about it. Really,” I lie with a forced smile. We both balance our cups, gripping them by the lips three in each hand as we make our way back to the table.

“Well, good. I’ve missed my friend. Let’s get breakfast tomorrow morning before everyone heads out.”

His dark hair has grown out over the semester and as it falls into his eyes a bit, I can’t help the grin that curls on my lips. “Okay.”

Adam and Skyler win the first game but Jess and I win the second. I learn that the more intoxicated I get, the easier it seems to be to land that little white pong ball in the cups across the table. We’re halfway through the tie-breaker game when I spot Clay sitting on the couch behind where Adam is standing.

And Paris is sitting on his lap.

Handing my ball to Jess without taking my eyes off them, I cross to where they sit and nervously fold my hands together. They don’t seem to notice as Clay’s hand moves further up where it’s resting on Paris’ bare thigh. “Hey, Clay.”

He’s mid-laughter, his mouth close to Paris’ neck when I interrupt. They both turn in unison to face me and Paris tucks a long strand of her crimson hair behind her ear, smiling sweetly at me though I feel her intentions are laced with poison. We barely talk anymore, but she knows I’ve been with Clay since Halloween, which is why this scenario doesn’t make any sense to me.

“Oh, hey Cass. What’s up?”

I shift. “Uh, what are you doing?” God, I suck at this. How do I confront him? He never said we were boyfriend and girlfriend but still, there were things said. There were things… done.

“Actually, Paris was just telling me that you two are roomies.” He turns back to her with a devilish smirk. “My imagination is running wild with that thought.”

Paris giggles, and it’s as if it breaks the fragile band that was holding me together. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I snap.

Clay’s smile falls as he looks back up at me and I realize I called attention to us, which was definitely not what I intended. Clay doesn’t seem fazed in the least. “Oh, Cassie,” he says, speaking to me like a child. “You didn’t think that because we hooked up we were…” he trails off, his hand covering his mouth a bit as he turns to face Paris momentarily before my eyes again. “Oh shit. You did, didn’t you?”

“That’s so adorable,” Paris says, still smiling. I know I’m blushing furiously as I snap my attention to her and plead with my eyes for my best friend to emerge. Where is she? Where’s the girl who was practically my sister just four short months ago? Have I lost her completely?

When she just smiles wider, revealing her perfect white teeth, I know I’ve found my answer.

I want to yell. I want to scream. I want to make them both feel small and insignificant but for some reason, tears prick the corners of my eyes instead. I whip around and storm toward the door. Adam tries to grab my arm and calls out for me but I shake him loose. When I push through the door out onto Greek row, Skyler follows closely behind me. I don’t turn around as I all but sprint to the KKB house, but Skyler still trails me. When I finally make it, I punch in our door code and immediately fall onto the couch, letting the tears fall.

I swipe at them furiously, pissed that I’m letting those two assholes affect me this way, but the rivers of betrayal just keep streaming down my cheeks. Skyler doesn’t speak a word when she enters through the door, but she sinks down next to me and pulls my head onto her shoulder. It’s such a simple and comforting move, but for some reason it breaks me more and I sob harder.

“Shh,” she coos, rubbing my back softly. “It’s okay. Clay’s a dick, Little Nug. He doesn’t deserve your tears.”

And I know that, but there’s so much more to it than Skyler could understand. She continues consoling me, attempting to make me laugh by pointing out oddities in Paris’ appearance and making fun of Clay’s “Ken Smile”. Eventually, I do stop crying, and I pull back from her embrace.

“Thanks, Big. You should get back,” I say, nodding toward the direction of the O Chi house. “It’s the last party of the semester. Don’t miss it on my account.”

“You don’t want to come back? Prove to everyone that you couldn’t care less about those two twat-lickers?”

I force a small smile, but it falls too quickly. “I just want to be alone. Can I sleep in your room for a while?”

“Of course,” she says, pulling me in for another long hug.

After Skyler leaves, I crawl into her bed and curl up in the covers, facing the wall. I close my eyes, steady out my breathing, and clear my head, but still, sleep doesn’t come. Instead, I feel an overwhelming emotion take hold that I’ve never experienced in my eighteen years of life. It’s something I hoped I never would have to feel, especially not this intensely. But, here it is, washing through me and leaving a sticky residue behind.

Regret.

I WAKE LATER, my eyes puffy and my cheeks still hot as I lean up and check the clock on Jess’ side of the room. She’s absent and Skyler is in her bed. It’s just after five in the morning.

Quietly, I slip out of Skyler’s soft lavender sheets and tiptoe out of the room. After slipping on my Keds, I start walking down Greek Row. It’s pitch black outside and cool, but there’s a hint of dawn on the horizon and I let it comfort me as my feet numbly carry me to the Alpha Sigma house. When I’m finally standing outside his window, my stomach flips, but I softly rap on it with my knuckles anyway. It only takes a minute for two chocolate eyes to peer out at me through the blinds.

When the blinds shoot up, Adam stands in their place in nothing but green and blue plaid boxer shorts. His hair is disheveled, his eyes squinted from sleep, and his brows slightly furrowed as he takes me in. He lifts the window and holds out his hand, helping me climb inside. I kick off my shoes and crawl into his bed first, pulling the covers up and over my shoulders and facing the wall just like I did in Skyler’s room. His sheets smell like him, a mixture of mint and his Burberry cologne, and I inhale deep as he slides in the sheets behind me.

Hesitantly, he snakes his arm under mine and pulls me into him, aligning his body with mine. Even though I can feel every muscle of his abdomen pressed against my back, it’s still a friendly gesture, and I don’t feel uncomfortable or like we’re doing anything wrong. He holds me like a friend who knows he may be the only person who can keep my cracking pieces from splitting completely right now.

“You were right,” I whisper.

He sighs and I feel the air softly blow the back of my neck. He holds me tighter around my middle and buries his head into my back, his lips just barely touching the skin left exposed from my tank top.

“I wish I wasn’t.”

For a moment he just holds me, neither of us saying anything else. I know I’m not falling asleep anytime soon and I feel like Adam isn’t either, but we don’t make any moves to get up and do anything else. When he does speak again, his voice is softer than before.

“Skyler and I made things official.”

I swallow and he waits for me to respond, but I’m not sure how to. I know they’re together. They’ve been together for a while now. Yet somehow, hearing that they’re official hits me hard in the gut and I curl up into myself tighter. Adam doesn’t release his grip on me though, which comforts and confuses me both.

I could comment on what he said, but what do I really say at this point? I’m happy for them, Adam knows that. He knows I would never say otherwise. At the same time, I feel like he’s waiting for me to say the words I haven’t even quite formed on my own yet.

In the end, I don’t speak again. I just nod and smile, which Adam takes for what it’s worth. His thumb lazily rubs against my lower stomach and I close my eyes tight, one lone tear escaping and falling to his pillow silently and without him noticing. Even though Skyler comforted me earlier, for some reason having Adam hold me makes me truly feel like everything will be okay. Even so, there’s still something neither of them know that is the reason for most of my tears tonight.

I’m upset that Paris is no longer my best friend. I’m confused about my feelings for Adam. I’m hurt that Clay spoke words to me he didn’t mean before laying me down in his room just a few feet down the hall from where I lie in Adam’s right now. But, more than that, I regret that I didn’t listen to Adam that night when he warned me. I hate myself for giving something so precious to someone who feels absolutely nothing for me. Clay wasn’t just the first guy at Palm South I’ve had sex with.

He was the first.

Period.

“I’M GOING TO MISS YOU GIRLS!” Erin pulls us each in for a hug, squeezing us a little too tightly.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure you’ll be thinking of us every minute while you romp around Europe over break,” Jess says sarcastically.

“Hush, you. I’m serious. Promise me you’ll all call.”

“We will,” Skyler assures, throwing one arm around Cassie’s shoulders. Cassie’s eyes are dark, her face long. I don’t talk to her much – hell, I guess I haven’t really been around enough this semester to form much of a relationship with anyone – but even I can tell she’s not okay right now. Hopefully winter break in Phoenix will help her get back on track.

Erin’s town car pulls up just as she hoists her bag up onto her shoulder. She offers one last wave before climbing inside. Jess leaves next, blowing us all a kiss and then flipping us off as she climbs into her Beamer. Clinton pulls up not too long after in a cab and Cassie and Skyler climb in. They’re hitting the airport for Cassie to catch her flight and Skyler to grab a rental car for the trip home. Bo and I wish her luck at the tournament and then it’s just us.

“I’m going to miss you,” I say honestly, tucking my pinkie into her front jean pocket. I consider asking her to go back in the house with me to properly say goodbye, but her parents will be here any minute.

“I know. It’s only a few weeks, though.”

She’s so damn beautiful. Her dark hair is pin straight and shaping the thin features of her face as her almond eyes appraise me. It’s like she’s trying to figure me out. Or maybe, how she feels when she’s with me.

Lord knows it’s not an easy feeling to digest.

Life has been a whirl since semi-formal. We took what we have – whatever that is – to the next level, for sure. Yet, at the same time, we still haven’t really talked about what that means. Still, staring at her now, beautiful smile wide on her face, I don’t really care what we are – as long as we’re something.

“Uh, Lei?” she asks suddenly, her face falling. “Is that…”

I turn to where her eyes are focused and my heart stops before hammering in my chest. Kya is standing on the other side of our front yard, leaning against her black Jeep. She’s dyed her hair a bright pink and streaked it with bleach blonde since the last time I’ve seen her. Even leaned up against her car, she’s still as tall as Hayden and intimidating as hell. Her green eyes are fierce, yet turned down as she waits for me.