C
onfused and miffed, I walked into the house.
“So how was the group? Did you have a good time?” JoJo asked as she removed her apron from her neck. Clearing her hands of soapsuds, she picked up her waiting mug and made her way into the living room.
“It was…okay,” I stared into oblivion.
“Just okay?” she looked puzzled
“Yeah, it was okay.”
“What the hell is with you right now? You look completely out of it. Are you having side effects from the Riluzole?”
“No. No, sorry.”
“Wait, how did you get home? I totally would have come to get you, but you bolted off the phone.”
“Lee,” was all I got out as I stared into nothingness.
“What?”
“Lee, brought me home.”
“You mean Mr. Paper Crane?”
“Yep,” I finally snapped out of it.
“Wait. What? I am so lost right now. I thought he was the mechanic.”
“He is, but I guess he volunteers to run the support group as well.”
“That would sort of explain why he was in the parking lot at the neurologists to begin with.”
“He gave me another crane,” I grinned, hoping I didn’t look like a total lunatic.
I cupped the delicate paper in my palms as I presented it to JoJo.
“What does it say?” she pleaded with anticipation.
“You are worthy.”
“Worthy of what?” she screeched as if it were a huge cliffhanger in a book.
“I’m not exactly sure, but I want to find out.”
“Mystery. Suspense. I love it,” Jo said mischievously as she rubbed her hands together. “How are you going to find out?”
“My car wouldn’t start again so he’s towing it to his shop tomorrow. Hopefully I can poke him for more answers.”
My face fell flat as my heart went from anticipation to melancholy. I could poke him, but it didn’t take away from the fact that he seemed uninterested. Why bother?
“So why do you look so blue right now?”
“I think the movies were lying to me. This is not how it was supposed to work. Boy walks me to my door, we have comedic head butt banter and he looks deep in my eyes as we lean in to kiss. Magical and perfect.”
“I think you’re just a hopeless romantic, sweetheart.”
“The problem is; my situation is anything but romantic. Who’s going to want me now Jojo? Huh? I’m nothing by prolonged heartache. I mean shit; I wouldn’t want to take on me either. I would be a glutton for punishment.”
Jo didn’t respond which was a huge indication that she agreed with me. I didn’t even have a valid argument as to why someone
should
date me.
Why did I have to like him so much? Everything made me angry right now; his stupid prefect nose, his stupid perfect beauty mark and his stupid perfect lips. Why did he have to have a stupid sexy voice and stupid sexy laugh that I could feel deep in my bones? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Then again, I had to remind myself why I thought he was everything but stupid. His dedication to his job and lecturing at the group meetings, his gentleman-like qualities, his sweet noted cranes and his southern Cajun drawl.
It’s odd how I loved to hate this guy. It was easier to blame him then it was to blame the disease –most likely the root of all this drama at the moment. A part of me was angry, like I needed to know what the hell I did to receive such a shitty rejection. If he wanted me to call him so badly, well that’s exactly what he’s going to get.
“I’m just going to go to bed, Jo. I’ve had a pretty long day.”
“Oh, well okay. I’m just down the hallway. Scratch on the door if you need me, sweets.”
Leaning over, I gave JoJo a light kiss on her cheek.
“Thanks, babe.”
I tossed my handbag over my shoulder as I trudge up the stairs to my room. My room was simplistic, but comfortable. I picked the bedframe up at an old thrift shop. It was nothing to write home about, but had an old country feel to it. It was white and worn and scuffed like antique wood. I had a simple white duvet with beige throws, but it wasn’t the bed that made the room.
The giant birch trees arced over my bed’s headboard, making it my special sanctuary. The branches were wrapped in twinkle lights. The shadows danced across the ceiling creating a whimsical scene every night. The best nights were the warm, rainy nights. The branches would sway rocking the shadows back and forth.
Taking a seat at my dressing table, I measured out a strip of sewing thread I had used the night before. Threading the needle, I set my tools aside for a moment. Retrieving my bag from the floor, I plucked the two cranes I received tonight and placed them on the vanity. I picked up the needle again and stabbed the crane in the chest watching the needle leave an exit wound through it’s back. I tied a knot to secure the string and lifted it in front of my face to see my handwork.
I set the first crane aside as I mirrored the actions with my second victim. Once I completely my masochistic ritual, I walked over to my bed. Laying the cranes on my pillow I eyed the birch branches. They had to have the perfect placement; one where the lights would weave their twinkles through the paper wings. I eyed the first crane I had strung up, admiring the dainty creation that hung from a branch.
Finding the perfect branches, I strung the cranes just right. I killed the lights and collapsed into my fluffy bed.
Man that feels dynamite.
I rested my head on a giant pillow and watched the cranes fly across the ceiling. They swung back and forth concealing a light here or there making the lights twinkle more than they usually would. If these were the only cranes I received, I would be a happy camper.
I arched my back slightly to see the birds swaying just above my head, nearly tickling my nose. A slight giggle escaped me lips as I reached in my pocket for my cell phone. Eying the underside of the first crane, I composed a text message with Lee’s phone number.
Me:
Hey.
Lee:
Hey yourself, Dove.
I didn’t want to acknowledge this response, even if it was practically immediately. There was no way he was waiting by his phone.
Me:
So, what time did you want to go get my car?
Lee:
I was going to pick it up at 6 am tomorrow. Is that not okay?
Me:
No, that’s fine. I just wanted to know when to expect to see you.
Lee:
Miss me already?
My body was telling me to be sweet and respond accordingly, but my bruised ego thought otherwise.
Me:
I mean about picking me up to go get my car. You can’t possibly think I’ll just let you go without me. That’s my baby.
Lee:
Then why did you give me the keys tonight? I think this is just an excuse to spend more time with me.
I hated that he could peg me so well, so quickly. It was annoying, really.
Me:
Hardly. Why would I want to spend more time with you?
Lee:
Because you like me.
This man. I don’t get him. He flirts, yet he denies me when I try to do something about it. Perhaps he was the cuckoo one.
Me:
Says who?
Lee:
Says your lips, and the way you were begging me to kiss you.
Yes, I did want to kiss him, but this is embarrassing. He knew I wanted to kiss him and yet he still rejected me. What kind of guy would do something so hateful?
Asshole!
Me:
I was not. You’re delusional.
Lee:
So you didn’t want to kiss me then?
Me:
You’re…
Lee:
Awesome, handsome…sexy?
Me:
An arrogant asshole.
Lee:
Well, that was uncalled for.
Me:
You’re right. That was uncalled for. I’m sorry.
Lee:
Apology accepted.
Me:
Let’s start over. Lee, would you please pick me up tomorrow so I can wait for my car at your shop while you work on it?
Lee:
I don’t know. It could take days. Are you sure you want to spend that much time with me.
Sadly, I would gladly spend every second with him if I knew he cared for me that much. But I was no fool, I saw him recoil tonight.
Me:
I trust it won’t take that long.
Lee:
You never know. I charge per hour including parts and labor. I may just bleed you dry.
Me:
Now who’s the hustler?
Lee:
Good catch.
Me:
Please, pretty please don’t hustle me. I’ve had an enormously shitty couple of weeks.
Lee:
Oh come on. It would be funny.
Lee:
I would never do that to you, you really can trust me Kat. I’m not a bad guy.
He asked for it and I was curious.
Me:
Then why did you back away when I wanted to kiss you?
Lee:
So you admit you tried to kiss me lol?
Me:
Whatever. So what? You’re probably a shitty kisser anyway.
Lee:
That’s not what other girls tell me. Not to toot my own horn or anything.
Me:
Something tells me you don’t mind tooting your own horn. And how many girls have you kissed. Lip whore!
Lee:
Enough to know I don’t suck, Dove.
Dammit. Why does he keep saying things like that? I hate it, but I love it. I hate him, but I don’t.
Me:
…
Lee:
Kathryn Dove, Are you at a loss for words? I am speechless.
Me:
You’re a deflector.
Lee:
I wasn’t deflecting, only stating the truth.
Me:
That’s deflecting.
Lee:
Why are you so worried about it? Does it matter that much to you?
Me:
It doesn’t. I just wanted to make sure I hadn’t lost my touch.
Lee:
Is that so?
Me:
Of course. That, and I’ve never been shut down before I…
Lee:
Assumed.
Me:
Assumed what?
Lee:
You assumed it had to do with the ALS.
Me:
No.
Lee:
Yes.
Me:
Well, maybe.
Lee:
Trust me, it had nothing to do with the ALS.
Me:
Then what? Am I repulsive? Are you gay?
Lee:
Definitely not gay.
Me:
So, I repulse you? Is that what it is?
Lee:
Far from, Dove.
Me:
Then why???
Lee was getting under my skin in the most irritating way. I just wanted a simply answer and yet I wasn’t even sure why I was pushing so hard for an answer. The pause between texts was excruciating. Instead of waiting for a response, I tied up my hair into a lose knot, changed into simple boxers and an 80’s t-shirt, slipped on my leopard slippers and padded my way down the stairs and into the kitchen.
The house was dark leading me to believe Jo had gone to bed. Navigating around the dark halls, I hit my knee on the coffee table, cursing under my breath. Not receiving the text from Lee ticked me off and banging my knee didn’t help either. I hobbled my way to the kitchen, flicking on the lights to avoid any more injuries. I opened the refrigerator, prepared to make a sandwich.
My stomach growled as I place two pieces of bread on a plate while retrieving the peanut butter and a bag of chips. I took my time spreading the perfect amount of peanut butter on both sides of the bread. When I concluded that it was evenly distributed, I opened the bag of ruffles potato chips. Plucking a chip from the bag I popped it into my mouth, crunching away. Some may question my nutrition regimen, but I plop a handful of salty chips on the bread. I place the peanut butter coated slice on top and squish it down.
I was just about to sink my teeth into my ‘samich when I received a text. Nearly scaring the shit out of me, I dropped the sandwich on the floor.
Fuck! I really wanted that too!
Lee:
You still awake?
Me:
Nope. I got tired waiting for a valid explanation. You left me hanging too long.
Lee:
Why did you text me back then???
Shit! He had me there. I should have just ignored the text, but something inside me couldn’t stay away. I just wanted to hear his voice or look into those amazing brown eyes right now.
Me:
Whatever. I’m going to bed, I’m really tired.
Lee:
Then why are you making a sandwich right now?
What the fuck? How did he know that? I started a subtle surveillance the house, searching every nook and cranny.
Lee:
Warm.
Me:
What? Are you going to ask me what my favorite scary movie is next? I would make a pretty pathetic Drew Barrymore.
Lee:
No, never. I see you more as a Neve Campbell lol
.
He responded as I checked behind the couch. Making my way to the back door, I peeped through the back window, slightly terrified.