Paradigm (Travelers Series Book 3) (13 page)

“I… what… ” I stammer. I’m not used to being put on the spot. Who is this person anyway? I mean, she’s obviously Jenny, but at the same time, she’s not. And just like with everyone else, there’s no way I’m admitting to her that I have freak powers. I’ve kept it a secret for so long, Sometimes, I almost forget I even have them. But I’m not lying about this. As far as I know, I don’t have the ability to astral project. Cooper did mention something about it that night at my aunt’s house, but I figured he was mistaken.

She eyes me carefully. “I’m betting you know exactly what I’m talking about. I can see it written all over your face. Anyways, because of your telekinesis you also have the gift of astral projection.”

Unfortunately, my powers of telekinesis is something I know all too well. I grew up with the ability and I’ve spent most of my life trying to control that part of me, but astral projection? As far as I’m concerned, this is new territory, but I put it aside for the moment. “What does that have to do with how we got here?”

She leans in close enough to whisper in my ear. “I have a gift too, Etta,” she says, pulling away. “I’m a medium. I have the ability to speak to those who have crossed over to the other side.” I look up just in time to see her wink. “It’s not as cool as moving stuff or being able to be at two places as once, but my power does have its perks.”

“Oh God, are we dead? Is this why I’m here? We’re in some twisted version of purgatory aren’t we?”

“Relax. I was just getting to that. I don’t just speak to the dead, Etta. I speak to their living soul.”

“I don’t get it.” Now Jenny is just talking in riddles.

“When you astral project, a part of you leaves your corporeal body. Since I’m able to communicate with spirits, I’m also able to speak with the part of you that leaves your physical form. Like I said before, I simply tapped into your power and voila! We’re in Vegas!”

“Holy crap, you’re serious aren’t you?”

Jenny smiles. “I know, right? I couldn’t believe it at first either, but the Dyson twins did some kind of study a couple years ago when we tried to come up with a way to use our powers more efficiently. Personally, I don’t really get it, but whatever. Linking our powers is kinda cool, huh?”

That’s why she led me out of the cab herself. I’m not in physical form! I was so awed by our sudden arrival in Vegas that it didn’t even occur to me that I wasn’t in my own body. “How do I even respond to this? Do you know how crazy this all sounds?”

“Um, yup. I do, but it’s true. Come on, don’t you want to see what you look like on your wedding day?”

“Why do you keep insisting that I’m getting married?” Am I marrying Alex today? As much as I love Alex, deep down inside I know that he’s not the one I’m supposed to end up with. That night at Alessandro’s confirmed that. And it’s only right now, at this moment that I realize this. But if Jenny is telling the truth and we are here to witness what’s supposed to be the best day of my life, I should feel some sort of excitement about marrying Alex. But the truth is, I just don’t.

“Because then this whole trip would be a complete waste of my time if you weren’t,” she says to me as she has me follow her down the hallway. “You can’t tell me you aren’t the least bit curious about seen yourself marry Cooper. Well, it’s not actually you, but the Etta that traveled to her right destiny years back. You, my friend, took a wrong turn somewhere along the way, and now here we are,” Jenny explained. “Interested in seeing what happens?”

I marry Cooper? Well, I guess that makes sense since he all but told me we were together in the future. I have to admit, seeing myself get married to him is too much to pass up. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just a little bit curious. What the hell, I’m game. “Sure. But hey, how are we going to watch without being noticed?”

Present Reality

I
marry Cooper. I’m still confused as to whether or not this is something that still happens or if this was something that was supposed to happen, but isn’t anymore because I didn’t go with Cooper when I was supposed to all those years ago. What scares me the most is that I’m hoping it’s the former.

I’m still stunned by what I just witnessed. Married. I get married! Well, I don’t know if I actually get hitched now in the present reality. I still don’t have a grasp on how this whole shift in the timeline works, but what if this is still part of the grand master plan? Maybe this, along with everything else, is still part of my destiny. Part of the grand design.

Although I only observed the ceremony from the sidelines, I could tell how happy I was to be marrying Cooper. The way he looked at that version of me, it was as if no one else was in the room but them alone. Even though it was me, it was like watching an entirely different person up there, taking their vows of love and honor.

What’s wrong with me? I don’t even know if I’m still destined to marry him and here I am contemplating our wedding. We’re not even the same people anymore, not in this reality anyway. Things changed and not for the better. I’m not going to get all worked up over Cooper when I don’t even know if it’s going to lead to anything. He’s professed his love to me, but can I rely on that alone?

But I know what I have to do. I think I’ve known for awhile now, but I can only ignore my gut feeling for so long before it starts to consume me. And Jenny’s little side trip, as much as it pains me to admit, only helps confirm this.

I’ve come to the realization that you can’t avoid the inevitable and you can’t ignore your instincts. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a fool. I’ve put off doing the right thing for months and if I want to take control of my life, this is a step in the right direction. Certain things aren’t worth pursuing if it serves as nothing more than an obligation.

While I know I’m doing the right thing, I head on over to Battle Grounds to meet Alex. My footsteps along the sidewalk sound like heavy bricks against the cement, their weight holding me back from doing what has to be done.

I can already see Alex waving at me and with each step I take towards the table, I become brave and meet my obstacle head on.

“I was beginning to think you were ignoring me.”

If there’s ever a time when going to my favorite coffee shop was appropriate, today is the day. Battle Grounds. A suitable name, given the pending topic at hand. There’s nothing in this world I crave more than stability and what I’m about to do will change all that.

“No. Nothing like that, at least not intentionally. I’ve had a lot of things to think about this last week and I guess I’m just not going about things the right way.”

“Etta, what in the hell are you talking about?”

“Us, Alex.”
Just do it quick like a Band-Aid.
“I don’t think I can see you anymore.”

“Is this about the cooking classes? I didn’t think you’d take offense.”

Has he always been this dense? Okay, that’s not fair to Alex. He’s probably just ignoring the obvious on purpose. “No, it’s not about that. I just can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what? I love you, Etta. What’s going on? I didn’t want to bring it up, but you’ve been a bit distant lately. I know I’ve had my hands full with class, but it’s like we’ve been apart for weeks, not just days.”

“No, it’s not that. You’ve always been there for me and you’re right. It’s me that’s been distant. This just isn’t working for me anymore.”

“What isn’t? Us?”

“The pretending, Alex. I wish I can say that I’m
in
love with you, too.” If I did, I wouldn’t be wishing for the wedding day I knew would or wouldn’t happen with Cooper. Even if things don’t turn out the way I planned with him, I can’t string Alex along, knowing how I now feel about Cooper. I know my feelings are premature. I hardly even know Cooper, but in my heart I know I’m doing the right thing right now regardless of what the future may hold. The one thing I am sure of is that Alex is not part of that future.

But I’ve always known. It was all just a childhood fantasy, thinking I could be with the captain of the football team. We spent a year together because I thought this was the guy that would make me happy. It wasn’t all a façade, though. I really did have fun with Alex and I love him in my own way. I guess just wasn’t being honest with myself.

Alex stays quite for a moment. I know what I just said was a low blow, but I can’t lie to him. I still care deeply for him, and he deserves the truth. I am just not in love him anymore—if I ever really was. Maybe my desperate attempt at a normal life, with the high school football star, was a step in the wrong direction.

“Is it someone else?” he finally asks.

Yes.
“Of course not. I just think… I don’t know what I think.” I don’t need to tell him the entire truth. That will just devastate him. Knowing I’m leaving him for someone I barely even know isn’t going to make the situation any better. That, and I can’t very well tell him about me marrying Cooper in another reality.

I’m not entirely convinced that I’m destined to fulfill the future the others insist I claim back, but breaking up with Alex is a step towards that future. Any future. Seeing myself get married to someone other than Alex made me realize that we just aren’t meant for each other. I wish there were a way for me to convey that to him. Maybe it would hurt a little bit less.

“I see. Well, I guess there’s nothing more to say, is there? I knew something was up these last couple of months. You don’t have me over anymore, you brush off any attempts to get close to you, and I don’t mean physically. If you don’t know what you want, I can’t make that decision for you.”

He leaves his coffee on the table, and without so much as a glance back at me, he walks out the door. Never have I felt more alone than I do at this moment. Did I just make a huge mistake? After a second, I think no. He doesn’t even fight for me. We were together a year and he doesn’t even try.

“His loss. But it’s a step in the right direction, I’d say.”

I spin around to towards the voice behind me. “Cooper! Were you listening to our conversation?” How embarrassing is that? That and I don’t even want to talk about our future nuptials. I can feel my face flush as I recall the wedding scene I just witnessed.

In return, I get a sly smile and a new table mate. Looks like he’s back to his normal self since that night outside my apartment. He looked like he’d lost his best friend, coming over and apologizing. Now, he seems to have reverted to his annoyingly charming ways.

“No, but it’s not hard to dismiss your body language. As for that last comment muddling around in your head, I was close enough to hear that as I made my way to join you.”

“Did I say that out loud?” I know I hadn’t. I don’t make it a point to talk to myself in public. At least not out loud. But for some reason, he always seems to know what I’m thinking.

“No, but I’m a telepath. Didn’t I tell you that?”

All thoughts about our kiss momentarily go out the window. “As in telepathy? Hearing other peoples’ thoughts?” I say loud enough for the other coffee shop patrons to hear. “You can read minds?” I ask again, only my voice is down to a whisper.

“Yup. But don’t worry, I only listen in when it’s something juicy.”

The man can be infuriating sometimes. Did I really just break up with my boyfriend for him? No, I made the right choice, even if Cooper does drive me nuts. In fact, it wasn’t about Cooper at all. It was about making the right decisions for myself.

He can hear my thoughts again. “Don’t think of it as breaking up. Think of it as starting anew.”

“Stop doing that!” Does being with Cooper mean I have to deal with his constant prying into my mind? If we are supposed to end up together, do we ever reach a point of neutrality? One in which he doesn’t invade my brain?

“I’ll try. And no, I don’t usually go snooping inside your head. I’m just having a bit of fun. Sorry. Just so you know, I’m not being as callous as you think. Alex and I have a past, in another reality of course, so let’s just say I’m not entirely too bummed to see him walk out that door.”

I slump in my chair, not knowing how else to respond. “So, what? You’re just going to sit here and gloat? I broke up with a great guy because you and your friends have me so confused about who I am. Is that supposed to be funny?”

Cooper wipes the smile off his face. “You’re right, it’s not funny. I guess I’ve just been down this road with you too many times to take them seriously.”

I have to admit, I do like the carefree attitude of his, which is an improvement over the sullen mood he was in the other night. It’s one of the things I like about him, but still. Right now I’m just not in the mood for jokes.

“Isn’t it? You tell me my life here is a lie and that I’m destined to become this leader in a future reality. That isn’t serious?”

“Of course it is. And so is the way I feel about you, all jokes aside. I’ve loved you in every reality, Etta, but I’m willing to accept the fact that you may never feel that way about me, especially now, the way things have turned out in this timeline. But if there’s one thing I have to convince you of, it is that I’m not the only one who cares. You have a team back in that future, waiting to have you as their leader.”

Again with this leader thing. This is the second time he mentions my being a leader, and that guy Chance said something about that. Is this why he’s so intent on getting me to go with him? I can’t be a leader. A leader of what exactly?

“The Council. You lead us in overthrowing Oliver Thornberry.”

I ignore the blatant disrespect for the privacy that is my thoughts. “What Council? And I don’t have any experience in leading anyone. I’m a paralegal with no college degree. Not exactly leader material.” Then I think back to the conversation from the past Chance showed me. “I have a score to settle, don’t I?”

“You do indeed. I don’t have time to get into all the details. The faster you can trust me, the better off our future world will be.”

I give up. I’m tired of being expected to just believe and take everything with a grain of salt. It’s not that I don’t believe, I just don’t think it’s fair that I have to make snap decisions. “I just don’t know, Cooper.” Isn’t it enough I broke up with Alex?