Paradise Fields (15 page)

‘Why don't they go consecutively?'

‘Because if I get rid of one, or it collapses, or something, I don't want to renumber them all. So?'

‘Well, Jake insisted I stayed the night. He bullied me into it,' Nel said defensively.

‘I'm not blaming you for that. God, you wouldn't want to spend all night on the platform at Paddington!'

‘Paddington has been done up. It's very salubrious, and it would have been a great deal better if I had spent the night there!'

‘Nonsense! You could have been kidnapped and taken to cardboard city.' Vivian had clearly forgotten her bees for the moment. ‘So did he just say, “How about it?” and you said, “Why not?” and there you were?'

‘Of course not! We were arguing, and he kissed me, and one thing led to another.'

‘There's a whole lot in between you've missed out, Nel.'

‘You know the facts of life. You can fill in the details for yourself.'

‘I suppose so. But why did you leave so early in the morning? The mornings can be really good, you know.'

‘I do know, but I didn't share his bed.'

Vivian looked as astonished as Jake had.

‘Why on earth not?'

‘I was so embarrassed! I made him promise never to mention it again, and, in a minute, I'm going to make you promise the same thing.'

‘Why in a minute? Not that I would promise. I have
every intention of mentioning it as often as it takes to get the details—'

Nel interrupted. ‘We didn't use a condom.'

‘Oh.' Silenced, Vivian looked down at the super she had been examining, then replaced it. ‘That is quite bad. Where are you in your cycle?'

‘I have no idea!'

‘Really? I always know, but then I'm in perfect sync with the moon.'

‘You would be.'

‘Being an older woman, you are less likely to get pregnant.'

‘Plenty of women get caught on the change.'

‘You're nowhere near your menopause!'

‘Well, thank you for that, but it means I could get pregnant.' Fighting panic, Nel took a deep breath. ‘Viv, I need the morning-after pill. And you have to get it for me.'

‘Why!'

‘Because I can't go into the chemist and ask for it!'

‘Why is it any better for me?'

‘Because you're younger, and lovely, and are always having affaires.'

‘I don't have unprotected sex, though.'

‘You'd have to if a condom split.'

Vivian sighed. ‘OK. I'll come with you. We'll go to Gloucester where no one knows us.'

‘How do we find out which chemist is open?'

‘They have it on the doors of all the other chemists.'

Nel paused. ‘Why do I have to come with you?'

‘I could say so you accept responsibility for what you've done,' she said sternly, ‘but actually, because there are bound to be instructions. You'll need to listen.'

‘Oh, I see,' Nel said meekly.

‘So why don't you want to see him again?'

‘I would have thought that was obvious!' She could feel herself getting worked up again. ‘Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to stop talking about it!'

‘Nel—'

‘No, really. I'm fine, or at least I will be, but I would appreciate a change of subject.' She paused, hunting for one. ‘What about the petition? Have you had much support for our petition?'

Vivian examined Nel for signs that the subject of her sex life was really over. Resigning herself to the fact that it was, she answered, ‘No, actually. I mean the people I've told about it have signed the form, but we've had no publicity.'

‘I think we need to launch a campaign, get the press involved, all that stuff,' said Nel.

‘Yes. The trouble is, how to get the press interested? The local press wouldn't be a problem, but we want national coverage. I know!' Vivian put down her smoker. ‘Our four-year anniversary on Thursday! Let's turn the celebration into a big party! Get some entertainment, invite the local TV and radio bods! Mind you, there'd be no guarantee they'd come. But you could make a cake! You're good at that!'

‘Make a cake?'

‘You know, in the shape of a steam launch or something. Like you used to do for the kids' parties.'

‘Right, yes, good idea. I'll do that.'

‘There's that extraordinary committee meeting this week, but we can't wait till then to raise it: I'll ring round everyone and get their OK. I can't see why anyone would object.'

‘Well done, Viv. That's a really good idea. Give this campaign a bit of oomph. Sometimes I think we're the only committee members really committed to saving the meadows. The ones I've talked to have all just assumed the building is inevitable.'

‘Chocolate cake would be nice. In the shape of a steam boat, possibly? To remind people of the jamborees, what they'd be losing if the fields are built on.'

Nel smiled. It was comforting to turn back into a person who made cakes in the shape of things. The role of a woman who had wild unprotected sex with strangers didn't really suit her. If only she could stop thinking about Jake.

‘Right,' said Vivian. ‘When I've finished here, we'll drive to Gloucester.'

Nel's dogs were very pleased to see her. She was pleased to see them. Although it was only a day since she'd last seen them, so much had happened, it seemed like a lifetime – or a good week, at least. After each one had had a chance to lick a good layer of skin off her and gone back to their chosen spot on the sofa, Nel pottered about her kitchen, doing the clearing up she hadn't had time for the morning before.

‘I'll just put last night out of my mind, like I told Jake to do. I won't think about it,' she said to Villette, the eldest, most matronly dog, mother of the other two, who'd heard the fridge door open.

Villette wagged her tail.

‘Not that you forgot, did you? After the first time you were mated, you became a complete hussy. Oh my God, I do hope that doesn't happen to me.'

The thought of herself behaving like her little spaniel,
who, in a beguiling but totally wanton way, made up to every male dog she met, was horrifying. ‘What would Simon think?'

She must have conjured him up, she thought a moment later, after she had answered the telephone.

‘Nel? Where have you been, I've been ringing for ages.'

‘I went to help Viv with her bees.'

‘Oh. What about last night?'

‘I went clubbing last night, I told you.'

‘You didn't go, did you? I thought if you had no one to go with, you'd give it up as a bad idea.'

‘Simon, you were the one who told me you thought Fleur might be on drugs. You can't expect me just to do nothing.'

‘Yes, but going to a club, on your own—'

‘I wasn't on my own. Jake Demerand went with me.'

‘And who is Jake Demerand?'

‘Apart from being chairman of the local football team and the solicitor in charge of putting buildings on the hospice's meadow.' To punish him for being so unsupportive, she added, ‘He's the man who kissed me under the mistletoe. I thought you knew all that.'

There was a short silence. ‘Well, I didn't. Why did you ask him to go clubbing with you? You hardly know him!'

‘I did ask you first. But actually, I didn't ask him. He happened to see me, and offered to come too.'

‘Oh. That was quite kind of him, I suppose.'

‘Very kind, actually.'

‘Nothing happened, did it? He didn't grope you on the dance floor, or anything?'

‘No, we just went back to his place and had mad,
passionate sex on the sofa!' The truth presented as a lie was still a lie, but Nel knew Simon would never believe this particular truth.

There was another pause, a sigh and a sort of grunting sound which could have been an apology. ‘I am very fond of you, you know, Nel. And while you must have thought it mean of me not to come with you, I thought it was a wild-goose chase.'

‘And I shouldn't be encouraged in it?'

‘Exactly. Did you see Fleur, by the way?'

‘Yes.'

‘And was she taking anything?'

‘I couldn't see. But I did see her boyfriend, which was quite reassuring. It wasn't a wasted journey.'

‘I'm glad. I must take you out for a nice meal.'

‘Why?'

‘Because I want to talk about our future. Fleur's going travelling when she's done her exams, isn't she? Having a gap year before uni?'

‘I think so. I don't know for sure. It depends if she can save up enough money.'

‘That's what I thought. It would be a good time for us to join forces.'

‘Would it?'

‘Don't let's talk about it now, you're obviously in a bad mood with me. But we'll go somewhere nice, and talk about it then.'

‘That would be lovely,' said Nel as unenthusiastically as she could without being rude. ‘But now I must go. I've got loads to do.'

‘Of course. I'll be in touch.'

Although she did have loads to do, Nel didn't do any of it. She lay on the sofa and waited for her dogs to lie
on top of her and provide warmth and comfort. Hard as she tried not to, she kept having flashbacks from the night before. She kept hearing Jake's voice (he had a lovely voice) breathing something in her ear, and seeing bits of his anatomy: a wrist, a foot, his hand on her waist. With a huge effort of will she managed not to think about any other bits of him for the time being, but keeping her mind off him completely was going to be extremely difficult. Would she be able to function at all normally now?

Firmly, she directed her thoughts to Simon. She knew what he was angling for, and the thought of living with him was not pleasant; he wouldn't ever have left the mess in the kitchen in order to lie down and think. On the other hand, if she had a proper boyfriend, she probably wouldn't go about having sex with strangers. Perhaps she needed Simon to put order in her life. If her children were out of the way, they wouldn't mind who was living with her, would they?

Simon and Vivian would say it wasn't any of their business, it was her life, her house, she could share it with whomever she liked. But Nel didn't quite agree with them. She felt her young adult children needed a base as much as younger children did. Whether it was her wanting them to need it, or a real need, she couldn't decide. As her eyes closed she realised she was thinking about Jake again. She fell asleep still thinking about him.

‘Hi, Mum.'

It was Fleur, standing over her, somehow making Nel feel reproached.

‘Hello, darling! Why didn't you ring? I'd have picked you up from the station.' Nel swung her legs off the sofa and sat up.

‘My battery's dead, and I felt like a walk.'

‘Why, darling, what's wrong?' Fleur only liked walking if it involved shopping or the dogs.

‘Mum, did I see you at the club last night?'

Nel grimaced, guilt piling on guilt, unable to tell the lie she had concocted in her mind at Chill. ‘Yes, I'm afraid you did.'

‘Were you spying on me?'

Nel felt she could hardly deny it. ‘I was worried about you. Simon said . . .'

‘Yes? What did Simon say?'

‘Well, nothing really. He just thought I should keep an eye out for you, in case you'd got into bad company in London.'

‘He should have known that you always keep an eye out for me, and that my choice of company seems to be a lot better than my mother's!'

‘Sweetheart, I know you're angry, and you're perfectly justified, but let me tell you about it from my point of view. Come on, we'll have a cup of tea first.'

‘But spying, Mum! It's the sort of thing Hannah's mum would do!'

‘Would she go clubbing?'

This did make Fleur smile a little, which was a good start. Nel and Fleur usually had such a good relationship, Nel found rows not only exhausting, but very upsetting. She hoped she could avoid one now.

‘I do realise how it must look from your point of view. But you know I worry, I always have, even before Daddy died, and when Simon said—'

‘Simon said “see if she's on drugs”, so you went to spy on me!'

‘Actually, Simon said don't go, and he didn't say he thought you were on drugs, he just pointed out the item about that girl who took one tab of Ecstasy – one tab – and died. It's very scary for me, you having a life in London I know nothing about.'

Fleur shrugged. ‘London's just the same as here, only it's good. You'd really like Jamie's mum.'

‘I'm sure I would if I had the chance to meet her. Or even Jamie. That would be a start.'

Fleur sighed the deep gusty sigh of the truly put-upon. ‘Oh, OK. I'll ask him to come down one weekend. But you're not to discuss me with Simon. He's not my dad, and never will be.'

Nel had to acknowledge the truth of this, but she also had – for once – to be firm with her daughter. ‘I won't ever do it again, but you're to promise me you'll never take anything stronger than pot. I don't approve of it, but I do accept people take it without turning into dribbling idiots.'

‘Christ, Mum! They're thinking about making it legal! But if it sets your mind at rest, I'll tell you I have tried it, and I didn't like it. And I don't fancy taking anything else, either.'

‘That's such a relief!' Nel felt a bubble of happiness form in her throat. Her turmoil about Jake had overshadowed the nagging doubts about Fleur, but only temporarily: this was wonderful news.

‘Of course, what you really should be worrying about is how much I drink. Hasn't Simon pointed out that article about the boy who died on his eighteenth birthday through drinking the cocktail his mates made for him?'

‘All right, Fleur, you've made your point! How about some hot buttered toast?'

‘Yeah! Now, Mum, tell me, was that the man who kissed you under the mistletoe before Christmas?'