Paradise Found: Cain (Paradise Stories Book 2) (25 page)

Instantly, she stepped back, just as my hand rose to take out my own brother. Sofie walked into the line of fire and paused. Hands on my chest, she gripped my t-shirt with delicate hands.

“What are you doing?” she growled in my face. “He’s your brother,” she added.

“I don’t want him touching you. I don’t want any of them touching you,” I defended.

“We’re only talking,” she exhaled.

“I don’t care,” I hissed, rubbing a hand over my head. I was losing control. I needed to rein it in, or I was going to scare her away. She was standing in front of me and I couldn’t lose her again. My hand came down to rest on her arm.

“I’m sorry,” escaped from my lips. “I’m sorry,” I repeated. It wasn’t for reacting to the guys touching her. It was for everything. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, pulling her close to me. She fumbled at the force of my pull and fell against my chest. Wrapping my other arm around her, I held her close to me. She was tense and reserved, and I didn’t like the feeling. I didn’t want her hesitation, but I knew where that came from. It came from me.

“Don’t give up on me,” I muttered into her hair. “Please, hold onto me, Sofie.”

“I need to go,” she muttered into my chest, pushing back from me.

“No,” I bit. Taking a deep breath, I tried again. “I mean; you just got here. You’re having fun, right? Stay. I’ll … I’ll just …” I stepped away from her. I wanted her to stay, even if I couldn’t have her. I wanted to envision her in my space. I had imagined it, but tonight dreams were coming true. She was here.

I put my hands up, as if to surrender, then rubbed once again across my head. I retreated slowly, one deliberate step at a time. My hands dug into my jeans and I spun to walk away. It was the hardest step I’d ever taken, but if I didn’t walk away I couldn’t be held responsible for what I’d do next.

It was more difficult than I expected to see him. Some sick sense in me wanted to witness what he’d done. Abel kept me subtly informed, telling me about the gym, the improvements, and the hard work Cain had been putting into getting the place up and running. His dedication was impressive. His determination to get things finished, and quickly, was astonishing.

The harder part was how good he looked. So fit. So strong. Still so damn tempting. I couldn’t be near him, despite my anger at how he behaved and what his father had done. I wanted to hate him, and in many ways, I did. My body just hadn’t gotten the memo. The pull to him was strong and I didn’t trust myself to speak. His warm hand on my back radiated heat straight to the core of me. The rhythm of my heart increased as he led me around the room.

Jealousy had already taken over me, and I promised myself I wouldn’t give into that evil again, but when he showed me the bedroom, my mind imagined all the things I’ve been trying to block out over the last month. Him wrapped in the long legs of a large snake, specifically those of that tramp from the fight. I didn’t want to think of it. I’d worked so hard avoiding the media, not wanting to know who he’d been doing this past month. His fingertip on my chin wasn’t enough. My body hummed to be close to him. Foolishly, I wanted him to wrap me up and apologize. I wanted him to tell me I was wrong in all the terrible things I thought, but it wasn’t right. We weren’t right. His father killed my parents. He kissed a girl in front of me, in front of everyone. I was his wife. The thought made me sad, actually.

I’d taken the step to question Kursch about those infamous divorce papers. They were somewhere, signed, and waiting. He couldn’t give me a good enough answer as to why Cain kept holding onto them. Cain had asked me to stay married to him, and I tried not to think about that second proposal because it only brought on more tears. First, they were tears of anger, just like before, when he left me at my grandparents’ inn. Then the tears turned to reality: heartbreak. Again. He’d done it again, only this time, he ripped my heart out. The cobra struck and its venom stilled my heart instantly. I didn’t want to hate him, but I did. It was easier to tell myself that, than to admit I had loved him, and he hadn’t loved me.

He walked away at the grand opening, and I remained on edge, finally asking Abel if he could take me home. He was relieved to leave as Elma was getting hit on by both Malik and Ray. It was like the two were battling to hold her interest, more in competition with each other than concerned about keeping Elma’s attention. Her sunny smile was blinding to both boys, but their focus was on getting it to beam on one versus the other. I could almost imagine the struggle Cain might have to train those two. They were natural rivals.

Lindee Parks had been an intermittent source of support. It was through jagged sobs I finally admitted my defeat to her – I’d married Cain. The quiet that surrounded those words, once I poured them out, was a weight so heavy I cried harder. Strangely, she took pity on my embarrassment over a failed marriage that I didn’t know existed and a broken heart for a man I’d never understand.

“I saw Cain,” I said, sighing through the phone when I called her the night after the opening.

“And what didn’t he say this time?” Lindee snipped. Despite all the unanswered phone calls, and texts on my end, my friends thought Cain should have done more when it was me who ignored him. They didn’t know Cain like I did. Sometimes it was in the things Cain didn’t say, his body language, the way he held himself back when he wanted to move forward that spoke volumes. His natural instinct was to strike without thinking, and the wound would go deep.

“He told me I was beautiful,” I exhaled, “and he said he was happy I was there.”

“Words, Sofie, honey, just words,” Lindee reminded me, reminiscent of her lecture about loving a fighter. The promises made in words were intense, just like everything else they did. They fought hard; made love harder, but their words were half-truths.

When I confessed that Atom Callahan had killed my parents, a strange sympathy came from Lindee. She wanted me to accept that the sins of the father did not reflect on the son. Lucie felt it explained the depths of Atom’s ruthlessness. Elma thought I should reopen the case for investigation. Honestly, I didn’t have the energy. If I sent Cain’s father to prison, what would it prove? My parents were dead. Atom had been free for years at this point.

That night, I also spoke to Jacob, who was
giving me a lecture about slowing down,
while I paced my small living space, staring out into the cloudy night. The storms had been intense lately, and the sky was an electrical display at the moment. Rain was coming, based on the direction of the trees, which were almost horizontal in the wind.

Returning to my apartment had been difficult at first. Nothing remained but the sublease. Then one day, a new double bed, a small couch and a television arrived. Kursch showed up on campus one afternoon offering me money for necessities, like bedding and clothes. I refused the offer. I’d already replaced my computer and school supplies. I ate out of take-out containers most nights, if I ate at all, so I didn’t bother replacing kitchen essentials.

Jacob wanted me to come visit him and my cousin, Ella, in Michigan. It had actually been years since I’d seen either of them. He was cousins with my father, and they had fond memories of being on my grandparent’s property with their own parents as children. He was always apologetic that my parents had died, and he was too young to have done anything about the trouble my father was in.

After learning the true cause of their deaths, I asked Jacob about it. There had to be more to the story. There was always something missing in the explanation of their killings. A senseless act was explainable, but what they were doing in an alley behind a lower-end casino was unanswered. Jacob finally admitted my father had a gambling problem. It was one reason we lived so close to my grandparents. His wins were random and we occasionally needed my grandparents’ support. Without Atom Callahan’s confession, I don’t think I’d ever understand the depths of their debts or the connection with my mother’s involvement. She stepped in front of my father, but why? To beg for forgiveness? To offer herself? Admittedly, there were some details I’d never have answered and didn’t care to know.

“Sofie?” Jacob questioned through the phone, and I realized I wasn’t actually listening to him. Something outside on the lawn caught my attention. I stepped closer to the window to inspect the image outlined in the tumultuous lightning display. My forehead came to rest on the cool pane, while the sky cracked and the heavens opened. The rain came down like a waterfall, cascading in thick streams from the heavy clouds. The lightning struck again and an image was illuminated. A man was standing in the middle of the yard below. His outline was large. Without fully seeing him, he had to be drenched by the deluge, but he made no motion to move out of the pouring rain. In fact, he remained perfectly still. The sky burst into light briefly and I noticed he was facing the direction of my side of the building. In fact, I felt like he was staring at me.

“Okay, I think I’ll let you go, as you’re obviously preoccupied,” Jacob teased through the line.

“I’m sorry. I am … distracted,” I replied, squinting to get a better look at the person outside. I stepped to the side of the window, worried the person was watching me. Growing nervous, recalling how my apartment had looked after the break-in, I began to shiver. The room was warm enough, but my body tremored, as if I stood in that cold rain.

“Okay, love you, little girl,” Jacob said through the line.

“Love you, too, Jacob. Kiss the baby for me,” I said. Jacob and his wife had a little boy, and another on the way.

The yard illuminated again and the person still remained. My heart hammered in my chest. I needed to make a decision. I squinted as lightning struck again, highlighting the figure. I sucked in a breath as I realized who stood below. It only took a heartbeat before I raced for my door.
What was he doing here?
My body shook with annoyance, and something more, hope. I pushed through the front door and stalked out into the pelting rain. The droplets were like ice crystals, cold and sharp as they hit my face and bare arms. I shook instantly, uncontrollably, but it was more than the rain that chilled me.

“What are you doing?” I yelled over the thundering pulse of the drops.

“It’s dangerous out here. Get back inside!” he shouted back at me. A large hand came forward to comb soaked hair out of my face. It made no difference. In seconds, I was just as wet as he was.

“Not until you tell me what you’re doing,” I snapped, my voice straining again over the loudness of the rain. He continued to stare at me.

“Get out of the rain!” he yelled. “You’re going to drown out here.”

It was a bit absurd and overly dramatic. It was only rain, but there was a lot of it. My feet were soaked just from standing still in the thin grass; my shoes filled with water. I laughed, but it was only in bitterness. I wasn’t going to take orders from him. I wanted an answer.

“Not without you,” I hollered again, reaching out to grab his jacket. Wet leather filled my fingers as I tugged at the opening. He hardly budged. Why would he? He was so much larger than me
.
I tugged again in anger.

“Dammit!” I screamed, uncertain if I was mad he wouldn’t move, annoyed he was watching me, or overall pissed off because his being here showed he still cared. On some strange level, Cain still cared about me. Yanking on his jacket so aggressively, I was the one to rock back and forth. Finally, he moved forward. It was the slightest hesitation and I stopped. I gentled my tug and he followed my lead. We took two steps like this, a dance of sorts, with me guiding him to follow. The sky cracked again and I screamed. Whatever trance he was in broke, and he spun me, forcing me to run toward the door with him directly behind me.

Inside the entryway, I didn’t stop. I reached back blindly for him, and he took my cold hand, wrapping his warm one around mine. I led him up to my apartment as we literally dripped like a faucet in the stairwell. Once we reached my place, he stopped just outside the doorway.

“I can’t come in. I’m too wet,” he said, his teeth chattering as the cold settled on him. I reached a hand out for his jacket again and tugged him forward.

“I’m soaked, too. I don’t think it matters anymore.” The force of pulling him drew him close to me and his warm breath mixed with mine. His mouth was inches away from me, and for a second, I prepared for the collision of lips. But Cain held steady. He breathed me in, inhaling my oxygen, but not drawing closer. His throat rolled; the only sign he was affected being so close to me.

“We need to get you out of those wet clothes,” I said quietly, my voice shaking from a mixture of cold skin and warm Cain. His eyes opened wider, the dark brown turning darker. Desire. On so many occasions, I’d witnessed the look, but I didn’t want him to only desire me. I didn’t want him to be tempted by the fruit he couldn’t savor. I wanted him to cherish me. I wanted him to love me, like the vows intended. I stepped back instantly, realizing I wanted from him something he wasn’t capable of giving.