Pariah (The New Covenant Series) (14 page)

And besides, we didn’t consummate our union last night. We were
interrupted. I don’t know if it would have ultimately happened or not, but it didn’t. And I really was sorry that Faric saw me mostly undressed and saw Wes and I together in such an intimate way. Vulnerable.

He raised his brows and his arm
s in surrender. “You don’t have to apologize to me. He’s your husband, Solara. I don’t need an explanation.” His teal gaze refused to meet mine.

“I know. I just...never mind.” I gave up. Nothing was coming
out of my mouth right anyway. The tension between the two of us was palpable. “Hey, why couldn’t Lil and Wes come with us? Why did they have to drink that stuff?”

“Not enough room for four
in the wagon. I had to smuggle you out unnoticed. Two more people would draw unwanted attention. They had to drink it so that they wouldn’t follow us, or know where I was taking you. If they don’t know, they won’t be able to tell anyone else. So, no one can follow us. No one knows where we, or you, are. It was all done to ensure your safety.” I nodded. It made sense.

“We should get going,”
he announced, striding over and sliding his fingers through the horse’s silky mane.

“What’s his name?” I asked.

“Her name. And I don’t know,” he admitted. “She’s the trader’s horse. He didn’t say.”

“Hmm. We should give her a name then or a nickn
ame anyway since we don’t know her real one. How about—”

“Juniper,” he offered. I liked it.

“Juniper it is.” I smiled. I stepped over and stroked her strong muscular back. She glanced back at me in appreciation. “Hey, do I have to cover up this time?” I asked, praying I wouldn’t have to.

“No. But if someone shoul
d approach, I need you to clamp these on your wrists,” he said, handing me a pair of iron handcuffs.

“Why? Why would I ha
ve to wear these? Do you expect someone to approach us? I mean, this is the forest. No one’s out here right?”

“There are people. Mostly
outcasts from the kingdom. The trader said they do approach him sometimes to make exchanges for their settlements.” He put his hands in his pockets.

“Oh. I didn’t realize there were settlements at
all. So why the cuffs?”

“They will believe you are for trade,” he admitted, head down.

“For trade? Me?” What was he talking about? People weren’t traded, were they?

“Look, the trader said that occasionally brides are secured
from other kingdoms, and the trader oversees their journey. He gave me these and said that if anyone approached, you should put them on and pretend that you’re being traded as a bride to the seafarers. I suggest we listen to his advice. He knows more about all of this than we do.”

I was flabbergasted. I n
odded and climbed in the wagon, clenching the cold iron in my lap. The horse jerked us forward, and we continued toward our destination. I kept looking at Faric and his dark coffee hair and broad shoulders being jolted from the trail’s bumpiness. He seemed distant since the weddings took place—not the same person who sat with me in his garden, not the same man who held me in his arms after the Altair incident.

The only time I’d
seen that Faric was at the wedding after Altair threatened me. After riding awhile, I cleared a seat on a bench of wooden crates near the wagon’s front. The fabric separating us was untied and fastened back. “Do you mind if I sit here and talk to you?” I asked, tired of the silence and awkwardness between us. I hoped to mend it. He looked back and smirked at me. “So do you have any siblings?” I asked.

He looked forward, steering the wagon through a shallow
stream. The entire rig rattled and jolted, moving over the smooth stones. The cool water flowed through the wheel spokes and splashed the wagon’s undercarriage. “I have a brother, but we do not speak,” he said, tilting his fuchsia mouth in my direction.

His lips looked as if they’d been
stained with a sensuous mixture cherries and red grapes.
Mmmm. Stop it, Solara!

“What about your parents?” I asked.

“I don’t speak with my father or brother, and my mother left when I was five. I was raised for a time in the kingdom by a very kind man and woman. They are my true family.” He pulled back on the reigns, and Juniper trotted to a stop. He lashed her to a tree. Walking around the rear of the trailer, he began to rummage around before saying, “Are you going to get out? Juniper needs a drink, and we could use one as well. We’ll take a short break here for lunch
.

Lunch? Was it lunch time al
ready? I jumped down and looked toward the sun, which had positioned itself directly overhead. It was noon, and I marveled at how fast the last leg of the journey had seemed.

I walked barefoot over to the stream and knelt down, watching
the crystal clear water as it cascaded over perfectly polished stones of every color and size. I cupped my hands, sipped greedily. Clear rivulets ran down and off my chin, falling on the fabric covering my thighs. I was thirsty, and it was so delicious. After gulping my fill, I brought the cool water to my face, washing away the previous day. My spirits lifted. After midnight, we could return, or maybe we would wait for Wes near the second well since he might be on his way. I wasn’t sure where the second well was. I hadn’t even seen the first.

“Jesus, Solara!” Faric yelled, causing me to jump back from the
water. I didn’t know he was right behind me.

“What?” I stood up and looked all around me.
Is it the outcasts?
I couldn’t see anything. He stomped back and was digging in the back of the wagon. He pulled out a gray wool sweater, walked over, and threw it at me. I caught it and immediately was enraged.

“What is your problem, Far
ic?” He wouldn’t face me, but I could tell he was dragging his hands over his face. Pacing back and forth, he stopped and said, “Look. You need to cover yourself until we can find you something decent to wear. I can’t stand it.”

What? He can be such a jer
k. What was so wrong with how I looked? He was just like Aria—had to degrade me and shame my body at every opportunity.
My hands began to shake with anger. I dragged the itchy gray fabric over my head and slid my arms through the sleeves. This fabric was far too hot for the summer heat and humidity. I clenched my teeth. When he thanked me, I lost it. I stomped over to him and shoved him backward with both palms, catching him off guard. He fell back landing on his hind end. I stepped back waiting for him to retaliate. I knew he had a temper from his run-ins with Altair, and I braced for the worse. But I was way too stubborn to back down.

A tentative smile tugged
at his lips and slowly began to expand. He let out a short laugh and then clenched his stomach and laughed so hard he fell over. “What is so funny?” He ignored my question and wiped the tears from his eyes. He laughed hysterically.

“I don’t think this is funny
at all. You’re a real jerk!” I screamed. How dare he laugh at my body. It wasn’t that bad. Wes apparently liked it. I took off, made my way across the soft rocks of the stream, and continued to follow the trail in the direction we’d just come. Footsteps approached quickly from behind, and he grabbed my elbow, still trying to stifle his giggling fit.

“Stop. Solara, please. Stop,
” he begged, smiling broadly. I jerked away from him and kept moving forward.

“Leave me alone. I’m going home.”

“You have no shoes on, and there is no way you’d make it out of this forest alive,” he said, trying to keep pace with me as I retreated. By the way, character flaw—the easiest way to get me to do something is to tell me I can’t.

“I certainly
can
find my way home. I’m not stupid, and I don’t care if I am barefoot. I would rather walk barefoot through these briars than spend one more second near you! Now leave me alone!” I screamed.

That wiped the smile off of
his face. “You’re serious?” He followed me silently and then said, “Look, I’m sorry, Solara. Please stop. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

I stopped and cocked my head to the side. “You didn’t mean to
offend me? Really? Would it offend
you
if I made fun of the way you look or the clothes you wore? Your body? Would you want to be anywhere near me if I humiliated you?” I asked, searching his eyes. “You are just like her,” I muttered and started walking again, slower.

“Wait. Like who? Who am
I like?” He asked, grabbing my hand to stop me. I turned and said, “Aria. I’ve put up with her degrading remarks about my body for fifteen years, and I shouldn’t have. I should have put her in her place long ago. Instead, I stayed quiet, assuming she was right. Well, guess what? I am not going to let anyone make me feel bad about who I am and what I look like ever again. And that includes you, so if you will excuse me.” I tried to pull away, but he held my hand tight.

“Solara,” he said, trying to cat
ch my gaze. I avoided his eyes, blinking back tears. I would not let him see me cry. “Solara, look at me,” he said softer. “Please. Let me explain. I never meant to hurt or humiliate you. Please. Let me explain for one minute, and then if you want, you can leave. I won’t even try to stop you. I promise.” I looked at him and cursed silently as a tear escaped from my eye and quickly ran down my cheek. I brushed it away and hugged myself, arms covered in thick gray wool. He dragged his hand over the dark stubble that had formed over his jawline.

He cleared his throat and looked at me. “I never meant to
hurt your feelings. You were bent over the creek, and that dress is cut low. You’re hot, okay?” He looked back at me from under his dark lashes.

I quirked a brow. “Wait, you mean you were checking me out?”

“Yep. Yes, I was. Sorry. I mean I’m married to Lil now, and you are with Wes, and I didn’t want to think about you like that anymore, and I saw you and then—”

“Anymore?” I raised both brows
. He hadn’t insulted me at all. He thought I was hot! I couldn’t believe it. Had he thought about me like that before? Realizing that my mouth had dropped open, I closed it, clenching my teeth.

He bit the inside of his cheek a
nd said, “Yeah. Well, I applied for
your
hand. Not Lillian’s.” He looked down, refusing to meet my gaze.

“What? You didn’t apply
for Lillian’s hand?” How was he assigned to Lil if he’d applied for me? Maybe he applied for both of us. Maybe he’d even applied for Aria’s. That thought made me nauseous.

“No. Only yours. I don’t kn
ow why they assigned me to Lil, and to my knowledge, it’s never been done. You are only to be given the hand of the one you apply for, if the council approves the match. Not paired with another eligible for which you did not apply. But I couldn’t exactly argue with them,” he shrugged.

“Besides, you seemed happy with Wesley, and I thought that by
being with Lillian, I could at least see you once in a while.” I gasped. He said, “Look, forget I said anything. Wear what you want. But we should get going soon.” He turned and walked back toward the wagon.

I stood still and watched him re
treat into the woods as I tried to wrap my mind around what he’d just said. Faric had applied for my hand. He wanted to marry me. He didn’t apply for Lillian’s but was paired with her. This made no sense. Then it dawned on me the reason for his distance. I remembered his face when he walked in and found me with Wes, sans my dress. I heard his voice call for me, “You coming or what?” I’ve heard of people getting butterflies in their stomachs, but I was certain that mine contained hawks, a flock of angry ones or maybe love-crazed-ready-to-mate ones.

“Yeah,” I yelled back, starting in his direction, rolling the
wide itchy sleeves above my elbows as I walked. I stopped at the stream for a last gulp of water and then hopped in the rear of the wagon. Reigns in his hands, I jumped in, and we started toward our destination, which I prayed was the second well. I just wanted this over with. I didn’t take my seat on the crates. I needed some distance, so I arranged for some space toward the rear of the wagon and tied the fabric back so that I could see out into the forest.

The canopy, ominous and thick, pressed down on us from
above. The undergrowth pushed up from beneath. Though the afternoon sun shone brightly, I couldn’t help but feel as though we were being watched by the shadows. They seemed alive, something writhing in their darkness. I gulped. If it felt dark in the forest in the midday sun, it would certainly overwhelm tonight. The only light would be provided by candles, campfire, and the first full moon of the summer season. As we traveled deeper into the dense wood, the shaking of the wagon lulled me to sleep once more, my head propped up with a blanket.

I
combed the forest floor
for kindling of dried dead wood and leaves. Night had almost swallowed the earth, only leaving a hazy deep blue in the western horizon. I could hear Faric breaking dead limbs off a fallen tree nearby, but I couldn’t see him. Being in the forest without fire was like being in a cave with no light source. I took all that I’d scavenged to the rear of the wagon and waited for Faric as the stars began to flicker delicately in the clear night sky. It had gotten quite chilly, and I became fast friends with the sweater I had loathed in the overwhelming heat of the day.

Soon, the fire was blazing, its
flames licking and tasting the wood we had procured for it. We feasted on remnants that Faric had taken from the wedding feast in preparation for our journey.

The fruits—apples, oranges,
and berries—were sweet and ripe to perfection. The rolls were still soft and moist. We had barely spoken since our awkward exchange this afternoon. I hated it. I liked him and didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable around me, and as he was Lil’s husband. We needed to get along since Lil and I would always be friends.

“Faric, how did you smuggle this food from the banquet?”
I smiled up at him, taking a bite from a succulent strawberry. I felt a drip run out of the corner of my mouth. Before I could reach for it, Faric brushed his thumb over my skin, wiping the juice from my skin. His eyes met mine, and I was amazed at how the fire reflected in the unique color of his eyes like fire meeting water, undeniably attracted to its adversary.

He smiled and said, “W
ould you believe that I stuffed my pockets?”

“No. I didn’t see anything strange about your pockets.”

“Solara, I’m a married man.” He smirked. “You shouldn’t go around looking in the region of my pockets in such a vulgar manner.” His face screwed in mock disgust. Raising my brows in surprise, I giggled when no sarcastic response came to mind. I just smiled and shook my head at him.

“Thanks for the sweater by the way. It’s been handy tonight.”

“Please keep it on or else—” He stopped short.

“Or else what?” I goaded, raising a brow.

“Or else I’ll have to stare at your fine back side, Miss Solara,” he said, never blinking but looking satisfied at the blush he’d coaxed from my cheeks.

“Perhaps you should be bring
ing Lillian’s fine back side to forefront of your mind, sir.” I quipped, satisfied with myself for drawing his attention back to his wife.

“With all due respect,” he said
, taking a bite out of a bright green apple, “Lillian’s back side is fine. But it’s not positioned in front of me at the moment.” He sipped from a small silver flask that I hadn’t noticed before.

“What’s that?” I nodded toward the flask that
he failed to hide. “Are you drunk? No wonder we’re discussing back sides.”

“I am
not
drunk. Yet. And my drinking has nothing to do with my appreciation of Lillian’s or your back side.” He smiled lazily and reached the flask toward me. The cool liquid blazed a fire down to my belly, and I gasped and coughed. Faric laughed heartily and so did I, but I took another large gulp before handing it back to him.

“That is some terrible-tasting stuff.” I laughed. I sat on my knees and was trying to reach an orange but couldn’t reach it. He was tipping his flask back again, not paying attention. So I didn’t interrupt him. I scooted over next to him, grabbed the orange, and lifted it to my nose. I closed my eyes and let the sweet smell invade my senses. When I tried to move back to my seat, Faric grabbed me by my waist and jerked me down beside him and laughed. I laughed too and swatted his hands away and tried to move over again. He held me by my waist and laughed, refusing to let me go.

I grabbed his flask from him. “That’s enough for you, big guy.”
I smiled and took a drink but didn’t cough this time. My belly felt warm. I kept sipping periodically. Faric talked about how he liked to draw and wanted a dog and how his favorite color was green, and he had no idea how to cook. I giggled as the warmth of the liquor eased my worries and inhibitions. An hour later, he had stopped giggling so much, which I found hilarious, and took the flask from me in a moment of intervention. “You’re going to feel like crap tomorrow if you don’t stop now,” he warned.

I made my saddest pouty face when he took it from me and
then broke into a fit of giggles. I’d never felt like this before. All was right in the world. I didn’t have to worry about the stupid tower or their stupid rules or Aria’s stupid mouth. I didn’t have to worry about being a wife or cooking, which I had no idea how to do, what stupid job I would be assigned to, or any stupid thing

I decided. In a moment of fuzzy
joy, I grabbed a strawberry and leered naughtily at Faric. “What?” he said, unease filling his face.

“I wanna feed you this strawb
erry. Okay?” I slightly slurred and then giggled.

“I think you probably sh
ould go lie down, lightweight,” he teased.

“No. I’m fine. I just wanna feed this strawberry to you. Please?”

I begged. I got on my knees and inched closer to him, holding the strawberry by its green leaves and stem.

“If I let you feed one to me, will you then go lie down?” he asked.

“I’ll think about it,” I squinted back at him.

He blew out an exasperated breath and then said, “Fine.” He held his head to the side defiantly and clenched his teeth. I inched closer to him on my knees, my lace dress, dragging on the ground behind me. I lost my balance trying to get closer and almost fell into him. He caught me before I fell, and I righted myself and focused on the task at hand. I tried very hard to concentrate on his mouth, my vision blurring slightly.

The strawberry looked
amazing next to his full lips, the shade of sinful perfection. I eased it toward his mouth and opened my own, encouraging him to unclench his teeth. I opened mine wider to try to get him to do the same. He refused. “Come on. You said I could,” I smiled. His lips parted, and I giggled. I inched the strawberry closer and moved closer myself to get a better view.

I raked my bottom lip across my
upper teeth in anticipation and smiled. His eyes locked onto mine. When I touched his bottom lip with the red temptation, he flinched and took a shallow breath in.
Hmmm. He likes this.
I dragged the succulent berry across the length of his lower lip and smiled as he fidgeted. “Shhh. Stay still,” I whispered, my eyes transfixed on the berry, his lips, and his body’s reaction from the combination. I dragged the berry across his top lip, and he closed his eyes and breathed in.

“Hurry up. Let’s get this over
with,” he said, squirming away from me.

“
Shhhh
. This is neat,” I said in awe. “Hey, calm down and let me play, and I’ll let you feed me one, too.” His eyebrows raised, and he took a deep breath in and settled down. I smiled, inching closer to see better. He had his hands propped up on his bent knees, and now, I was positioned in between his knees, standing on my own, my body slightly taller than his now, providing me a great view. He wetted his bottom lip, and I immediately but slowly swiped the berry across the lingering moisture.

I opened my mouth, and he followed my instruction, and I
let the tip of the berry graze his teeth gently. He took in a sharp breath and seized my wrist. “Shhh,” I said. He kept hold of my wrist but didn’t stop me this time. I eased the berry between his teeth and nodded. He bit down, taking a bite of the delicious fruit. This time,
I
gasped. I repeated this dance slowly until only the berry’s stem remained.

He didn’t say a word, reachi
ng over and grabbed the largest berry left and held the green from the luscious red. “My turn,” he said. “Stay where you are.” The combination of heat from the fire, the wool sweater, and my hormones made sweat beads on my brow. “Take the sweater off, Solara. You’re sweating. Please don’t be uncomfortable because of earlier. I’m sorry.” I nodded and shrugged out of the itchy hot fabric, used it to dab my sweat away, and threw it toward the wagon. My head felt floaty, but the trees stopped spinning, so that was good, right?

I looked, catching his intense stare, poised with his strawberry
in midair. “Come closer,” he said softly. I inched closer. “Closer,” he said. I inched as close as I could without sitting in his lap. I wasn’t about to do
that,
but after his comments about my back side, I silently giggled. “Stop laughing,” he said in a serious tone.

I giggled out loud and then pres
sed my lips together to prevent any more from escaping. I took in a deep breath and then looked back toward him. “Stop biting your lip,” he said, leaning toward me with the strawberry extended. “Close your eyes, please.”
Demanding. I like it!

I closed my eyes. I felt the ber
ry trace my lips, and its sweet aroma filled my senses. I parted my lips to ready myself for the bites to follow, but they didn’t come. Instead, Faric tilted my chin up and softly ran the berry over my neck and shoulders, gliding it over my collar bone and down my arm. My skin came alive with goose bumps, and I felt my breath hitch. “Bite,” he whispered, his breath warming my ear and throat.

I waited until I felt the berry
on my lips and bit down, savoring the sweet ripe fruit in all of its glory. It was my new favorite. I felt the moist, now jagged, fruit slide down the other side of my neck, trailing its way down my arm and back up. I kept my eyes closed and enjoyed using all of my other senses, which were on full alert.

“Let me guide you. Keep you
r eyes closed but turn around,” he said, guiding me with my shoulders until my back was facing his chest. He had risen on his knees as well. I felt his breath on my shoulder and neck. The cool fruit gently glided down my back along the plunging line of my dress. It trailed back up and over my shoulder.

Faric grabbed
my stomach with his other hand, pulling me to him. “Lay your head back onto my shoulder,” he said in a deep, smoky voice. I complied immediately, my breath becoming more labored. I didn’t know what he would do next, and it was thrilling. “Bite,” he said, softly. His breath at my ear was distracting, but I sensed the berry in front of me and bit down.
Mmmmm.
His hand was still clasped on my stomach, just under my ribcage.

I gasped as I felt the berr
y glide across my neck and over the curves of my chest. Then he stopped. I didn’t feel the berry anymore. His arm held me back against him, but I lifted my head.

“Turn back around,” he raspe
d. “But keep your eyes closed.” I walked on my knees until I felt like I faced him, his arm guiding me all the while. “Come closer,” he said. I walked myself forward until my chest touched his. His breathing was heavy.

I waited for the strawberry, but
it never came. His lips softly grazed mine, and then he kissed me, slow at first, then deeper and rougher. I opened my eyes to see his aqua gaze and sighed into his mouth at the sight of his fuchsia lips on mine. I returned his kisses with a demanding fever—passionate and wanting. His hands grazed my arms and trailed down, tickling the bare skin on my exposed back. His lips trailed down my neck and back up again. My stomach clenched in response. My hands explored his arms, the ridges of his back, abdomen, and chest.

I peeled his shirt off of him
and felt his warm skin under my palms and fingers. I left trailed moist kisses on his neck and chest before he wound his fingers into my hair and guided my lips toward his again. I expected a soft kiss but was greeted with a crushing hungry one, which I thoroughly enjoyed until he pulled away from me. Then it dawned on me what we had just done.
Oh my goodness
. I felt guilt wash over me. For Wes, for Lil, for us. I touched my swollen lips and moved over, putting space between us. It was just the alcohol.
Right?
Faric cleared his throat and stood up, walking over to the wagon. “I’m going to get some water,” he announced as if nothing had happened, and he stalked away into the darkness.

I stayed, sitting, staring at the fire, trying to process what we’d
just done. There was definitely no way I was the chosen. I was married and had just kissed my best friend’s husband. The worst thing of all—I liked it. A lot.