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Shit my two trifling ass brothers? Dante' has been locked up for the last two years, with two more to go. Dante' got caught out there dealing these damn drugs thinking he's a Don. Trying to call my phone every other day asking if I can put some money on his books. Lamont is running his ass around here somewhere making a baby anywhere he can. Lamont has 3 baby mamas and I can't stand but one ! My nephew Lamont Jr’s mom Sherica is cool as hell. She comes by and visits with me a lot. But she's the only one I let come over. Those other two seem to think I'm either going to babysit or give them some money Lamont
ain’t
giving them. I don't think so.

One thing I am proud of though is I did start and complete college. I real y hadn't made any plans for myself after high school but Jazzlyn was so geeked about going to col ege. Besides in her house it was a given you were going to college. Jazzlyn was filling out applications for me. Student loans, anything I needed to do to get in,she made it happen for me. At the time I really didn't know where I was headed. Quite honestly I don't know where I'd be without a friend like Jazzlyn in my life. Her family as well. Many times they stood in as family for me when my own didn't give a damn. So it's crazy why I would be going behind her back fucking and falling in love with
her
boyfriend of four years...for the last year.

I can't lie. I'm in love with Darien. As far as I'm concerned I've loved him longer! I actual y knew Darien first. We used to work together and I had a serious crush on him. I guess where I fucked up is I never told anyone about it or acted on it. So when I invited Jazzlyn to come with me to our company Christmas party and introduced them to each other, they hit it off within seconds. I was literally and figuratively screwed.

Darien and Jazzlyn had been exclusive every since or so I thought. I was at a club with some other friends almost a year ago and ran into Darien who was pissy ass drunk so I offered to give him a ride home. Darien claimed he was cool but I insisted. The truth of the matter is I was watching him for a while in the club with his fine ass. I saw him flirting and touching women on the ass and thought to myself why not me? I'm pretty, sexy so I've been told, I feel like I'm a total package...so why the hell does it seem as if every other bitch out here was getting what they wanted in the love game but me? Don't I deserve to be happy? I drove Darien home, walked him up to his place and even though I know he was" drunk talking" when he asked why I had never gave him any play, I flirted back with him. I let his ass know I always thought he was fine as hel . Both of us were laughing talking mess to one another, then one kiss lead to another kiss.

Afterward one fuck lead to another fuck.

Darien was everything I'd imagined him to be as a lover. I'll never say I couldn't stop messing around with him. I don't want to stop. Until he loves me back as much as I love him. Now that Jazzlyn has dumped him all I need to do is make sure they never get back together. They've fought before throughout the years and I know for a fact he always makes his way back to Jazzlyn. I just need to make him not want to go back again. Jazzlyn has talked to me so many times about how unhappy she is with him that I really think once she finds someone else and is happy she wont care if Darien and I get together. Jazzlyn doesn't really date just anyone, but when she does they all fal in love with her. It's always been that way for her. Some of these fools have dated Jazzlyn a year without more than kissing her. Jazzlyn always said she wanted to wait until she was married before she had sex but I guess Darien changed her mind. After I slept with him I could understand why. I think if I just give it some time I can finally have it all.

Darien as my man and keep my best-friend Jazzlyn.

Family Ties

" Mama! Where you at? " Tyson James yelled as he walked through the door of his mothers house. "Mama!"Tyson called out again.

" Boy if you don't stop all that daggone yelling I'm gonna get you!" Tyson’s mother Renee said as Tyson walked into the kitchen. Renee couldn't keep the smile off her face as she looked at her son.

" It's about time you came over here to see about your Mama. I haven't seen your behind al week. Come give me a hug."she said.

"Ahh Mama you know you're my favorite girl and I'm not going to go too long without checking in on you !" Tyson said as he walked over to the stove and picked up his short 5'4 mother and wrapped her in a tight hug with a kiss on the cheek. " What are you cooking? You got it smel ing good up in here! I came just in time."Tyson said.

" Let's see I made some of your favorites. Smothered pork chops, rice and green beans for desert a lemon pound cake and vanil a ice cream. "

"Dang Mama! I sure appreciate it. Seems like I haven't eaten a decent meal in weeks. With everything going on, moving into the new apartment, this new job and these fools trying to test me over there."Tyson said as he walked to the stove and started lifting lids on the pots.

" Let me fix you a plate baby and you can sit down and tell me all about it"Renee said.

" OK." Tyson said and went about setting some silverware,napkins and pouring out some ice tea for the both of them. After Renee set the plates at the table she sat down.

Tyson blessed the table and they began talking.

" So baby tel me what's going on at that job? " Renee said.

" Mama you already know what it is. Same old mess. You know when I go anywhere, I always have my guard up trying to make sure I feel good about who I'm going to let in my circle ...plus you know your son is easy on the eyes. " Tyson said laughing " So the women on the job are always trying to find out about me and make assumptions about what I like...I ain’t gonna lie though it's good on my lunch budget!" Tyson said laughing."

Tyson we're going to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch. Since you can't leave want me to bring you something back? My treat!" Tyson said mocking his female co-workers.

Renee joined her son laughing and said"Now baby I've always told you, to stop taking on more than you need to. You stay on the defensive when you shouldn't. Know and be true to yourself. Like your daddy and I always taught you and your sisters. People will show you who they are instead of you waiting for people to disappoint you. " Renee said.

" Mama, sometimes you don't understand some of the B.S. I go through, you real y don't." Tyson said.

You see my mom didn't ful y understand where I was was coming from sometimes.

From the outside looking in people think I'm I total package. I ain’t gonna lie either. I kinda am. 6 ft 6 220 lbs of pure muscle. Dark brown hair nicely faded ( because I damn near keep my barber on retainer) and some of the greenest eyes you've ever seen.

Courtesy of my mom. I graduated with a Masters degree in Accounting from the University of Texas at Austin. With the encouragement of my mother and the guidance of my father who passed away four years ago I'm ful y confident in the man I am. I grew up in a supportive family who I love dearly. Though as I looked in my mothers beautiful, kind brown eyes.....I said to myself...
she has no idea what type of bullshit I go through
on the daily!

You see I'm Caucasian, but my family is African-American.

My birth mother was killed in a car accident when I was three years old. The day my birth mom Tanya was kil ed my parents stepped in and never missed a beat at loving me fully as their son. My birth mother knew my biological father wasn't about shit a year after I was born and her and my Mama were best friends. As close as sisters. So way before the car accident, provisions had been made for me in the event something were to ever happen to her. I'm talking an iron clad will and custody agreement concerning me. Both of my moms met in high school. Went to col ege together and both graduated with teaching degrees. From what I was told my mom never had it easy anyway, so there was no reliable family to take care of me in the event something were to happen to her. My birth mom didn't want me being raised by them anyway. She did have two sisters though, but they were no position to help themselves let alone take on me in the event of an emergency. My Mama being the woman she is,has always made sure I had contact with them through the years. I'm actually pretty cool with a couple of my cousins from my birth moms side of the family. I love my birth mother with al my heart for making sure I was taken care of, and would be loved should anything happen to her.

Unfortunately it did. So when she passed, I went to live with who I had up until then I had called my "TeeTee and Unk” Which later evolved to Mama and Daddy.

Mama didn't understand going to school with people and never knowing what type of slick shit might come out of their mouths at any moment. I mean she could relate a little from growing up and her best friend being white. By no means would I ever compare the racism African-Americans go through on the daily with the incidents I've had .But it damn sure ain’t the same as being one race and your
family
being another. Even when you do see families like ours it's usually black kids with white parents. It ain’t never been an issue with my African-American friends, they already knew the deal. Plus we have a huge family, so a lot of times during school when I was younger, I was in school and classes with cousins and friends of the family anyway. Hell the trouble always came with the white people. Imagine meeting a guy when I was younger and in school, thinking he was cool until he finally showed his true colors and made a racist comment ? Or we were at the mal and an black girl walked by and something racist and sexist popped out of their damn mouth, not knowing that granted she didn't give birth to me...but trust and believe I do have a African-American mother at home .I wasn't having that shit at all. So then came the fights.

I learned a long time ago to hold off on counting any white people as
really
good friends until I could determine where their head was at. Same goes with dating. More than a few white women have gotten their feelings hurt and dumped simply by running their mouth before they had the pleasure of meeting my family. Let me be on a bul shit tip when it happened and I may lay a mean sex session on her ass before I dumped her

.Black women have messed up with me too, making assumptions on who and what I like. I'll remind them in a minute as well that a beautiful white woman gave birth to me.

Even though a beautiful black woman raised me. It's crazy how so many women get caught up in stereotypes. It's not always men. My favorite thing to let them all know about me is that I'm a man first. Period. So while yes I'm a good guy, when need be I have some player ass ways as well and I don't like to be fucked with. But I try to keep it at a minimum and remember the good home training I have.

Best Friends Forever

"Girl where your ass been? " Trevonne said as I walked toward our favorite table at Cool Beans our favorite coffee bar. "I saw I missed your call and by the time I was able to call you back, I could never get a hold of you and damn that was Friday. Boo-Boo it's Tuesday now so what's going on? "Trevonne said.

" Girl there was a bit of drama on Friday when I first called you but when you didn't pick up. I went ahead and decided to just have a weekend completely to myself.

Pamper myself and the whole nine yards .I called my parents and let them know I was going to be incognegro and I was out!" Jazzlyn said.

"Well girl you look good but what happened in the first place?" Trevonne asked knowing damn well she already knew the reason that Jazzlyn had been trying to reach her.

" Girl the same old mess with Darien. Long story short, since I just had a nice relaxing weekend that I
refuse
to mess up by speaking on bullshit ,is that we broke up. For good this time and I mean it."Jazzlyn said.

" Oh girl please! How many times have I heard you say that in the last four years you two have been together. Y'all will be booed up again by this Friday!"Trevonne laughed.

" No Tre I'm serious this time. Really. I know we've done the whole back and forth thing at times but I'm tired of that. Among other things. I had just come from the grocery store, car ful of groceries I spent my hard earned money on for the weekend
he

promised we'd spend together and I had to beg him to bring them in the damn house?

What kind of shit is that?” Jazzlyn asked getting angry just thinking about it.” Tre he wasn't going to make a move until he was ready because the game was on .It didn't matter all the effort and money I'd just paid to make sure we had a nice weekend and cook al his favorite meals. But it's always like that. Me doing everything to make the relationship go smoothly." Jazzlyn said.

" Girl please! I aint gonna let something as sil y as groceries make me lose my good man!” Trevonne said cutting her eyes at Jazzlyn."Hell he went and got them didn't he?"

Trevonne asked.

" Ummm NO! Hell I went down to get them myself. Lucky for me my neighbor with his fine,
fine
ass was right there and helped me bring everything on up." Jazzlyn said.

" Fine huh?" Trevonne said "Girl I don't mean no harm, but you had fine and you threw him away behind some grocery bags! Ain’t too many brothas out here finer than Darien!"Trevonne said with conviction.

" Oh he ain't a brotha. He's a white dude. A fine ass white dude at that! I mean if I went that way, I'd be knocking on his damn door with a welcome to the ParkCrest View complex cake!" Jazzlyn said and they both burst out laughing. "Girl hush these folks are looking at us!" Trevonne said still giggling as she looked around the cafe'.

" No seriously Tre. Everyone has another side to them .I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means, but so many people think just because Darien is fine I should put up with his mess...hell I'm fine too. I deserve to be treated well and I've never asked Darien for anything I wasn't willing to give. It just seems like the down times were out weighing the good. Four years into this and I can't honestly say where we were headed. Then when I would ask him point blank, he'd try and act like I'm pressuring him. I just feel like if the love was real y there,he'd be able to answer me without feeling pressured. Truth be told I don't even know if he's been completely faithful to me during our relationship." Jazzlyn said.