Authors: Kimberly Schwartzmiller
“You
won’t
see me again
,
Delaney. I told you,
I don’t want you to wait for me. I mean it. Move on with your life!”
“I can’t.
Please don’t shut me out
,
” I said, as the tears started again.
“You have to go…now. I’m married, and even though I don’t love her, I’m bound by that contract.
”
“So you have to follow the rules, but she doesn’t?” I said, angry now.
“What she does is irrelevant. The fact remains, I took an oath, and I won’t break it.”
“I’m not asking you to
break anything
. Just please don’t…”
“Don’t what? I don’t have
the
right to have any feelings for you, not while I’m with her.”
“But you’re not with her. You don’t love her.”
“You have to go!” He turned toward a door and held it open f
or me. Th
e
look was one I recognized. I wasn’t going to get anywhere with him now. I sighed and headed out the door.
We walked into the garage and parked next to the
car that he always drove to school, was another car
, a
very expensive car
..
.
t
he car I’d seen around my house and in town. The car I thought I saw as I walked on the beach with Brian. I stopped and stared at it. “It was you?”
“Delaney, please just get in
,
”
h
e said, looking embarrassed that his secret was out.
“
This is
the same car I saw at home and at the beach last
night
. Why were you following me?”
He sighed and said, “I wanted to see you,
to
be close to you. I knew I really hurt you that day that you asked me to
the movie
, and I wanted to apologize and explain, so I went to your house
,
but I couldn’t bring myself to knock on your door. I didn’t want to tell you about Martina
.
I wanted to say yes, to be
able to say yes. So, I found myself following you. I’m sorry.”
I sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window
.
I was shocked by his confession, but very flattered.
I was trying to come up with some way, any way to stall him
, to make our time together last a little longer
. Finally I said, “I will wait for you, whether you want me to or not
.
”
M
y tears were silent
as they streamed down my cheeks
.
“Want isn’t the issue, Delaney.
I told you, w
hat I want is irrelevant.”
“Do you think your mother would want you to spend three years in misery with a woman you don’t love
…a
woman
who’s carrying another man’s child? She gave the company to your father because she loved you. I can’t believe she would want you to do this.” I had to pull out all the stops now that we were getting close to the dock.
“My mother’s company is all
that’s
left of her. I have to do whatever it takes to save it, and I won’t drag you into this.”
He reached into the back seat and grabbed Brian’s jacket and handed it to me.
We pulled up to the dock then. I could see Brian pacing back and forth in front of the ferry. I turned to Logan and said, “I don’t care what you say, I won’t lose you again!”
He leaned over me and opened my door, “You already have.”
His words hit me like a ton of bricks. I could feel the rejection wash over me
. M
y head was spinning and I was frozen
in the seat
. I couldn’t move and then suddenly Brian grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the car.
I heard Logan
say
, “Take good care of her.”
“I will
,
” Brian said, looking extremely confused.
Brian closed the door and I watched
as
the love of my life dr
o
ve away. The pain I felt was worse than any pain
C
had had inflicted on me. I was too numb to cry. I was too numb to do anything. Brian led me to the ferry and I
went with
him because I didn’t know what else to do.
He sat down next to me and said nothing for a while. The ferry left the dock 30 minutes later and still I hadn’t
uttered a single
word.
Once the ferry was out to sea,
Brian turned to me and said, “Delaney, I can see that you’re very upset. I won’t ask anything right now.
I’m just so relieved and happy that you’re safe.
But, I think I deserve some sort of explanation about where you were last night and how you ended up with
…
h
im
.
But
I’ll wait until
you’re up to talking about it
.”
I looked up at him then, and finally the tears
came
and I couldn’t stop sobbing. I knew I had let everyone down. I had hurt everyone I cared about; Brian, my parents, Molly and Logan. My grief was unbearable and although I knew I didn’t deserve comfort from anyone, Brian pulled me into his arms and held me while I cried the rest of the way home.
Chapter
Five: T
he Wrath of Molly
Brian
led
me to Molly’s car, knowing I was too distraught to walk
on my own
. I clung to him as he tried to put me in the passenger seat. “Delaney, let go. You’re fine
,
now. You’re home
,
”
h
e said, sounding angry. Why shouldn’t
he
be angry? He didn’t know what had happened, what I
had been
through. He only knew I was gone all night while he searched the island
for any sign of my whereabouts, o
nly to find me with the one man he knew I couldn’t resist. If I were him, I’d hate me
,
too.
“Brian, I’m so sorry
,
” I finally said, holding onto his arm.
“I told you I wouldn’t stand in your way
,
Delaney. But you could have told me he was there
. Then
at least I wouldn’t have worried all night.”
“I didn’t know he was there
,
” I said.
“But you spent the night with him
,
anyway.”
“No, not like that
, i
t wasn’t like that. Please believe me.”
“You need to go home. When and if you want to see me, you know where to find me.”
“Here’s your jacket
,
” I said, handing it to him.
“Keep it.”
He closed the car door then and
walked over to talk
to Molly
. They spoke for only a moment, and then Molly got into the car.
I had never seen her so angry. I had made her
angry
on many occasions, but at that moment, she was livid with rage. I knew I had to tell her something, but I couldn’t tell her what really happened. I couldn’t face re-living not only what Chad had done, but worse, Logan’s
rejection
.
“I called your mom and told her you were staying another night at my house
,
”
s
he said, keeping her eyes on the road,
and
away from me.
“Did she ask where I was?”
“I told her you were in the shower and it was my idea for you to stay.”
“Thank you
,
Molly
,
” I said, and laid my head against the cold window.
“
This isn
’
t like you
,
D
elaney. How could you do that to Brian?
T
o me?”
I
didn’t have anything
to say in my defense, so I
sat there, and said nothing
.
“GREAT, more silence. What the HELL is wrong with you?”
s
he asked, not expecting an answer this time.
There was no way I could use the ‘Best Buddy’ thing, and there was no amount of pleading that was going to get her to forgive me and let me off the hook
this time
.
We drove the rest of the way in silence. She seemed to know not to push me just then. I knew I was in for it later, but right now I needed a hot shower and time to think.
When we got to her house, I asked her if I could take a shower
.
“
Fine!” s
he snapped.
“Thanks
,
” I said, trying to break through the wall she’d put up.
“Where did you get those clothes? I’ve never seen you wear anything like that before. Wow, those are Christian Dior!”
s
he said, stunned by the name on the front pocket of the blouse.
“They are?”
I said, looking down at the label.
“You didn’t know?”
“I didn’t pay any attention. He handed them to me and I put them on
,
” I said, not thinking.
“Who handed them to you and what were you wearing in the mean time?”
s
he asked, knowing she had me.
“It doesn’t matter
,
” I said, looking down.
“You can’t lie to your best friend, straight to her face and then expect her to believe you. I’m not stupid
,
Delaney. I’ve known you long enough to know you’re lying. You have to tell me the truth! I deserve to know the truth, and frankly
,
so does Brian. You hurt us both and you scared the
h
ell out of us.
What happened
to you last night
?”
s
he demanded.
“I’ll tell you, but p
lease let me take a shower first?
” I pleaded
, still
feeling like
I
hadn’t
been able to completely rid my skin of Ch
ad
.
“You have 20 minutes, that’s it!”
s
he said, and stormed out of the room.
True to her word, she was back in 20 minutes with two plates of food in her hand.
“Okay, spill it!” s
he said, handing me a plate.
I set the plate on her dresser and sat down next to her on the bed. I didn’t know where to begin, so I started from the balcony when I started feeling really sick.
I told a form of the truth, minus several details
; i
mportant details. When I got to the part about Logan
though
, I wasn’t sure if Brian had said anything to her or not, so I took a chance that he hadn’t and
kept my
‘
knight in shining armor
’
an
onymous
. I knew I was treading on thin ice by lying again. And if she already knew or ever found that it was Logan, then I was risking our friendship. Something told me that Brian didn’t say anything about Logan, and as I told her that I was sick and wondering the street and that a stranger picked me up, she didn’t flinch. So I continued, hating to lie, but needing to for my own sanity.
“What made you so sick?”
s
he asked.
“I don’t know. Food poisoning, I guess. Brian said he was sick
,
too.”
“Yeah, he was. He had passed out on the balcony. I went loo
king for you guys and found him
out cold on the deck. But, you were gone. You must have gone through the other door. You were very lucky that the man that picked you up wasn’t some rapist or murderer.”
I flinched at the word rape, but shook it off.
“No, he was wonderful
,
” I said, desperately missing Logan
.
“Why were you so upset when Brian
walked
you to my car?”
“I don’t know. I think I just felt horrible for what I put you all through.” At least that wasn’t
a
complete
lie
. I did feel terrible about what I
had
put them through.