Part-Time Devdaas... (10 page)

“Its okay, you don’t need to keep saying sorry,” she said leaning back. “Anyway what’s the plan?”

“Let’s go to Raghu’s place. His house is a lodge for next two weeks.”

“Cool...”

Whenever Raghu’s parents were out on a vacation, his house became a bunkhouse. Large-hearted Raghu would let random people come and stay over. Once he met a cyclist at the naka.
This guy had ridden all the way from Delhi to protest against fuel price hike and had no place to stay. Raghu brought him home and offered him the couch to sleep for a night.

I was a bit skeptical when I rang the doorbell. A half-naked sweating Raghu opened the door.

“Wrong timing, man!” he complained.

“Why what were you up to this time?” I asked.

“I was just about to enter...” he swallowed rest of the sentence when he saw Hrida behind me.

“Hey! Hi!” He nervously faked excitement to cover up what he was up to. “Forgive my nakedness. Miss Bapat. Please have a seat. I’ll be back.”

Hrida giggled looking at him.

“And don’t you dare disturb me for an hour,” he whispered to me gritting his teeth and rushed back to his bedroom leaving Hrida and me in splits.

“You hungry?” I asked as I sat three feet away from her on the other end of the couch.

“Depends on what you have to eat.”

“Nothing, was thinking of calling for a pizza.”

“Hmm...
chalega.
”

“What will you have?” I found the menu under the table and began to read it. “There’s spicy chicken, cheese and barbecue chicken...”

“I’m a vegetarian,” she said cutting me short.

“Oh, okay. Sorry.”

She’s a vegetarian!
A voice screamed inside me.

We were halfway through eating the pizza when Raghu appeared from the room with a girl behind him. Raghu’s ruffled hair and the girl’s red neck told the story of what had transpired in the room.

“Hey, you want to have a bite?” I asked

“Yuck… veggies! Why are you pushing veggies down your throat?”

“Hi...” I said looking at the girl.

“Hi...” she said coyly.

“This is Rinkie my girlfriend. This is Arjun and that’s Hrida.”

The way Raghu introduced her, I was sure he’d break up with her in the lift on his way down.

“I’ll drop her and be back in a bit. Please order something edible for me,” he said grumpily and left.

I gathered the pizza boxes and dumped it in the kitchen. Hrida flipped a few channels on the TV before switching it off. I came back to the couch and sat a feet away from her. I stretched my head on the couch and stared at the ceiling. There was a long silence in the room. I slowly slid my hand on the couch and cupped Hrida’s hand. I turned my head to look at her and she was looking at me with a mild smile, her eyes trying to read my mind. I smiled at her and hesitantly pulled her towards me with slight force. She shifted towards me and I put my left arm around to hug her. Her smell intoxicated me and my heart began to beat so fast that I could hear my heartbeats. I let her go and stared at her. Then after waiting for a second, I kissed her on her cheek. She closed her eyes. I slowly moved sideways and placed my lips on hers. I kissed her still lips for a couple of seconds before she reciprocated, her hands holding my face and her fingers gently whirling through my hair.

“I love you!” I said taking a moment from kissing her.

“Thank you,” she smiled and bit my lower lip. Shivers ran down my body. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t kissed anyone before, but all those carnal pleasures didn’t match up to the way Hrida made me feel.

“I have to tell you something,” she whispered in my ear still hugging me.

“Oh no, what now?” I said with closed eyes.

“I won’t be meeting you for a month,” she said quietly.

“What?” I said looking at her. “Why?”

“I’ve got my finals coming up in fifteen days.”

“But I can drop and pick you up during the papers, right?”

“Yes, you can, but one smile from you can toss all the data out of my brain,” she jutted her lower lip. “You don’t want me to flunk, do you?”

I didn’t say anything. “Do you? Do you?” she pushed making faces till I smiled.

“No,” I muttered under my breath putting my arm around her shoulders.

“And by the way, who gave you the right to kiss me?” she said with a straight face.

“What do you mean?” I asked in a worried tone, in spite of knowing that she was messing around with me.

“You still aren’t officially my boyfriend,” she continued staring at me.

“I… I am sorry.” By now my mind had given these words lifetime membership on planet tongue. I began to remove my hand resting on her shoulder. She could not keep a straight face any longer and burst into laughter.

“You haven’t proposed to me yet,” she said as she stretched up a bit and kissed my right cheek. The remaining hours of that afternoon were spent smiling, kissing, and cuddling.

“Dev, guess what?” I screamed into the phone.

“You are in love?” Devika replied.

“You know already?”

“I’ve had my share of such calls from you. Shoot the details,” she said.

“Hmm… her name is Hrida. She is Neha’s friend...”

“Who’s Neha?”

“Shashank’s new girlfriend.”

“Oh! Sachdev’s hooked again. Man, I’m missing out on a lot of stuff.”

“
Abey
listen
yaar
.”

“Sorry, continue.”

“So ya, I met her four months back.”

“It took you four months to tell me? She’s been keeping you that busy?” 

“Aww, someone’s jealous!”

“Ya right!”

“But seriously, this time it’s different than always.”

“Looks like it, just don’t waste time. Tell her how you feel.”

“I have, actually... there’s more...”

“There’s more? I have really missed out on too many things. I’m coming there right now,” she said sounding really annoyed.

Incoming message from Hrida buzzed my cell phone.

“Dev baby, I’ll call you back. Bye, bye… bye.” I hung up.

“Yippie, vacations”
her message read. I desperately dialled her number, she cancelled the call, and messaged back –
“still in college, don’t call. message me the plan.”

“Movie?”
I replied.

“Works for me.”

“I’ll pick you up then.”

“No don’t bother, Neha said Shashank’s coming to pick her up. I’ll come with them, you get the tickets in the meantime.”

“OK, See you soon. Love you!”

“Thank you.”

We were twenty minutes late for the show, yet they started the movie only after we walked in. It felt like the film was being screened specially for us. The total number of people in the hall including four of us was six. There was one more couple sitting at the extreme left corner of the hall. I concluded the guy was clearly interested in something else for two reasons: One, from the looks of him, I doubted if he could recite all the alphabets in English, forget understanding the whole movie in English; two, both of them were sitting on a single couch. Shashank and Neha took the right corner and almost instantly got down to business. Hrida and I sat in the centre seats. She got lost in the adventures of the ogre and his donkey. Waiting for the right moment, for an hour I pretended I loved it too. But the stabbing thorns of the rose I had hidden in my T-shirt began to wear my patience away. I was almost about to give up my stupid juvenile plan of proposing in a movie hall when the ogre jumped to my rescue. He kissed the princess and proposed to her. I took the opportunity and pulled out the rose.
The thorns, the thorns you idiot
my mind yelled but it was too late, I had generously scratched myself. 

“Princess... would you like to be this ogre’s girlfriend till its time to get married?” I asked melodramatically holding the rose in my hand.

“Yes yes...” she said giggling and nodding her head vigorously. I took her hand in mine and we got back to watching the movie.

“Please don’t smell that rose. It might smell a bit sweaty,” I said muttering the last part under my breath.

“I don’t mind,” she said as she cuddled up to me.

“I love you,” I said and kissed her.

“I love you too.”

Proposing after hitting first base felt extraordinarily retarded, but when you fall in love, you somehow find logic in all the mindless things you do. Besides, everything with Hrida was different than the rest of the affairs I’d had. So officially, on 18 February 2002, Hrida became my sixth and the
last
girlfriend. Or so I thought.

18
February, 2010.
I read the date on the call sheet for the shoot as I walked in on the set. It would have been eight years had I been with her. Everyone around me was happy for it was the last day of the shoot. But I wished the work wouldn’t end. It had been almost two months since my return from Goa. I had deliberately gotten myself immersed in work. It was the only thing I loved left with me. Somehow the film sets masked all my miseries and made all the hurt disappear. The larger than life houses, the lighting, the rains, the romancing actors, their emotions, their fake tears, ultra glamorous costumes, the songs, the dances – there was this honesty in the pseudo atmosphere that gave me hope like millions of other people in our country. The day ended with a lot of jubilation. A smiling director, a relieved producer and an exhausted dancing crew. When you work at a certain location twenty-four-seven, you are bound to get attached to it. I looked around the house for one last time realising that the next time I visited the floor, there would be something else in its place.

“Hey, aren’t you waiting for the wrap party?” Ashwin, my first AD asked.

“I have plans, I got to meet someone.”
Who?
a voice yelled inside me.

“Oh, so there
is
someone,” he smiled. “Let’s meet this someone someday.”

“Someday, sure!”

“Okay buddy, you have fun.” He hugged me and left.

As I sat on the bike, a sudden wave of emptiness hit me. After working nonstop for two months, there was nothing to do now. My next assignment wasn’t due for two months. I hadn’t taken a break for the past two years hence I had deliberately planned this break so that I could go on a vacation with Hrida. In the blink of an eye, however, everything had changed. I was left with sixty-one days to kill and had no clue how. I checked my watch; it was 1.30 a.m. I needed a drink and the only place in this city that could get me inebriated at that hour was Pyaasa.

Bada Anna had diligently designated Fridays as ghazal nights at Pyaasa. Since the time I met Hrida, I had hardly been there. Life had changed so much in the past seven years that switching back to my old college life wasn’t going to be easy. The watchman parked the bike as I got off it.
Subbu welcomed me at the gate and warmly shook my hand.

“Long time no see, boss!!” He said smiling. One of his central incisors had given way to a black hole.

“What happened to your...” I asked pointing to his teeth.

“Teeth?” he chuckled. “Time for retirement.”

He shook my hand again and asked the waiter to take me up.

The whole floor was part of the huge
mehfil
, a make shift stage placed in the centre surrounded by tables that were dimly lit by red china balls hanging over it. The session was already in full form and most of the patrons were flying super high. I sat alone on the corner table and ordered my drinks. My body hadn’t intercoursed with alcohol since new year’s eve so as soon as the waiter brought my drink, I swilled a nice half-a-glass down my throat in a clichéd broken heart lover style. I suddenly felt a hand heavily landing on my shoulder.

“How long, has it been, my friend?” he asked me in a slurred voice, I turned to see who it was.

“For what?” I asked resentfully.

“Not too long it seems.” He smiled. “Hi I’m Shekhar...” He said extending his hand. “Phadke...”

“Hi.” I said shaking his hand. The singer sitting on the make shift stage switched to another song by effortlessly playing hard notes on the harmonium.

“Waah waah.. waah waah,”
the whole crowd screamed unanimously.

“Can I sit here?” Shekhar sat before I could say no. “Happens you know… this anger, helplessness,
hota hai
...” Trying to convince me, he began to shake is head like a cow trying to get a bug off her neck. “What’s your name, by the way?”

“Dil ki choton ne kabhie.. chain se rehene na diyaa..

Jab chali sard hawa maine tujhe yaad kiyaa..”

The singer crooned.

“Waah waah.. waah waah..”
The crowd said in unison.

“Arjun.” I said before listening to the rest of the ghazal.

“Hum ko kiske gum ne mara, yeh kahani phir sahi…

k
isne toda dil humara, yeh kahani phir sahi.

Dil ke lootne ka sabab poocho na sabke saamne,

n
aam aaega tumhara, yeh kahani phir sahi.”

“What are you drinking?” Shekhar almost snatched my glass and smelled it. “Repeat...repeat...” he said snapping his fingers at the waiter standing close to us.

“So... I was saying... four years back...” He took another sip from his glass. “I was sitting where you are right now.” God knows how he remembered that.

“Nafaraton ke teer khakar doston ke sheher me,

Humne kis kis ko pookara yeh kahani phir sahi,

Hum ko kiske gum ne mara, yeh kahani phir sahi...

“
Waah waah
…
waah waah..
” Only I screamed and some of the lesser drunk people who were still in their senses turned towards me.

“Kya bataye pyaar ki baazi wafaa ke raah me,

Kaun jeeta kaun hara yeh kahani phir sahi…”

“Do you know how it feels to see the person you love get married to someone else?” Shekhar started again and looked at me pensively. He finally managed to get my attention.

“No, I don’t.” I was petrified with just the idea of seeing Hrida getting married to someone else.

“Hum ko kiske gum ne mara, yeh kahani fir sahi..

Yeh kahani fir sahi… yeh kahani phir sahi..”

“What made it worse was that the someone else she married was my best friend...” he swigged his drink down yet again.

“I was in Delhi for a conference when she broke up with me onthe phone.” He smiled. “I wasn’t emotionally mature enough for her, she said.”

“I’m sorry... I don’t know what to say,” I said. He began to laugh, banging his hand on the table.

“That is what he said, when I asked him how he could stab me in back like this,” he continued laughing. “Anyway, it’s been too long, thirteen hundred and sixty nine days, three hours and...” he stared at his watch twitching his left eye, “…sixteen minutes to be very precise.”

“I know... It’s hard to forget...”

“Now, I’m just waiting that this... this...” He said tapping his finger on the glass. “Makes me forget so that I can carry on with my life.” 

“What happened with you?” He suddenly asked.

“It is fine, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Look around, you’ll see tears in everybody’s eyes.

“You see, that guy there?” he said pointing. “He got divorced six months after his wedding as his wife fell in love with her assistant at work.” His voice filled with sudden elation.

“That bald guy beside him… his wife died last year and the one sitting behind us… the same story as mine.” He took a sip from his glass.

“So you see, everyone here is heartbroken... you aren’t an exception...”

“I broke up with her,” I said.

“So
you
are the heart breaker??” He said with widened eyes.

“Yes... I broke my own heart.” I said and smirked, but the dude was too drunk to understand any kind of sarcasm.

“I don’t understand...” he said taking another sip of his rum. I had no intention of explaining the complications of my relationship to a drunken stranger.

“She...”

My phone rang as soon as I opened my mouth to tell him what happened. Yet again, Devika saved me from a situation I didn’t want to be in.

“Just a sec,” I said and walked out to the balcony to get away from the noise.

“Hey wassup?” I asked checking the time in my watch. It was quarter to three in the morning.

“Hi...”

“What’s wrong, Dev?” I asked sensing the aridity in her voice

“Can you pick me up... please?”

“Yes, where are you...”

“Juhu... beach...”

“Give me thirty minutes, I’ll be there.” I smothered the intense urge to chide her but Devika calling for help meant there was something seriously wrong.

“Ek plate nimboo.
..
” I told the waiter as I walked back into the hall. Now the immediate scourging task at hand was to shunt the high I had acquired from the alcohol.

“Heyyy, youuu areee backkk...” Shekhar said hanging on to the last syllable of each word.

“I’m sorry I have to go.” I began to squeeze the lemons one after other in my mouth.

“Whyyy?? Whattt areee youuu doinggg...” He gave me a scandalised look.

“Sorry, buddy, got to go somewhere.”

Four lemons and an extremely sour mouth later, I paid my bill. “You take care and good luck with your plan to forget her.” I said in a scorned tone pointing at his glass, knowing he was too drunk to be offended.

“No matter how heartbroken you are, you are never coming back to this place ever again.” I told myself. I tipped the security and left Pyaasa.

The cool breeze hitting my face helped me clear my mind. I don’t remember the last time Devika had asked anything from me. If it came to it, she could kick someone’s ass really bad so there was nothing to worry, but her voice sounded as if she was in pain. What could have happened?

“Maybe she got too drunk and fell off the building; she might have called before dying.” Voice One said.

“Or she got knocked down by a car,” Voice Two said.

“Someone might have mugged her and stabbed her,” Voice Three said.

“Or shot her in the head,” Voice Two said.

“Maybe she got raped or something.” Voice Four said.

“What the fuck! What the fuck! What the fuck!”

I yelled my lungs out and screeched the bike to a halt right in the middle of the eastern express highway. Thank goodness it was 3.30 a.m., else the municipal sweepers would have had to scrape my body off the road the next day. I calmly got off the bike, looked around for any speeding vehicles and walked it to the side of the road. I struggled with the helmet strap for a nice fifteen seconds before I violently pulled it out and threw it away. Throwing my hands in the air and heavily stamping my legs on the ground I began to scream hysterically, eventually rolling on the road. I was seriously losing my mind. Raghu was absolutely right, I needed a psychiatrist. I had let the hell of negativity loose on me and it was sucking me in. If I didn’t do something about it, I would soon be scribbling Hrida’s name on the walls of some mental asylum. In the past six months of the break-up, I had only grown from bad to worse. My drama concluded in six minutes or so when I realized I was rolling on the sides of the eastern express highway where toilet deprived population of the city relieved itself. Now the hysterically screaming-me became the hysterically dusting myself, turning round and round like dog chasing his tail and making sure I was clean. I pulled out the headphones and plugged it in the phone. Loud music was the only way I could block the contorted voices inside me. For the rest of the twenty minutes that I took to reach Juhu Beach, loud electronic sounds took care of the voices inside me.