Part Time Marriage (19 page)

`Pretty much,' he replied with an answering smile. He paused then, before he added, `I've a full day on Friday too, but after that I'll get back on Saturday, and plan then to have more time for me.'

`No more gallivanting all over the place?' she somehow managed to tease.

`Somebody else can do it.'

That surprised her; she had thought he loved it. `You've had enough?' she queried seriously. `There are other things I want to do,' he answered.

But having a child, being afather, isn't one of them, Elexa thought sadly, and, having said she was too full for a pudding, a short while later they left the restaurant and Noah took her back to her apartment.

She did not invite him in; she saw no point. Nor did he ask to come in, or even hint as much. He, equally, she realised, saw no point. `Best of luck in Vienna,' she bade him with a cheerful smile.

`I won't wish you luck with your interview-you'll get the job,' Noah stated as, almost toe to toe, they stood at the outer door of her apartment building.

There seemed nothing more to be said. `Goodnight,' she said quietly, suspecting that nothing would ever be the same between them again.

For answer Noah gathered her into the circle of his arms, and she had a moment's heartsease when he held her close up against him. `Goodnight, my dear,' he replied softly, dropped a light kiss on to the top of her headand went striding away. Elexa climbed the stairs to her flat, choking back tears. She loved him so much, but that kiss just now ...it was almost as if he had said it, as if it had been no more than an It's been-nice-knowing-you-but-what-we-had-is over kind of kiss.

Elexa went to bed and lay there wide awake and trying not to cry. But she had never felt so wretched, and a few tears did escape. Were it not for the baby, she would never see Noah again.

Given a choice she would prefer not to tell him at all, but knew that some time, though perhaps not for a month or two, she would have to tell Noah about his baby. She knew for certain that she wouldn't be able to keep it from her mother for too long.Which meant that as soon as her ecstatic mother knew, she would most likely be on to the other set of soon-to-be grandparents. Elexa couldn't do that to Noah- let his parents inform him that he was to be a father.

Having thought she had never felt so wretched, Elexa went to get out of bed the next morning and the floor came up and hit her. She felt dreadful as, clutching onto furniture, she made it to the bathroom. She eventually staggered out again with her intelligence telling her that this wasn't just a queasy tummy-this was morning sickness with a vengeance.

So much for `morning' sickness, it stayed all day. She fell into bed that night exhausted and, while not wanting to be a nuisance at the doctor's surgery, she needed to know if she should be feeling this ghastly. She also needed to know if her baby was all right. From nowhere, she was suddenly feeling fiercely protective.

The next day was no better, but she struggled into work. She visited her doctor later in the day and was assured that all was well. Her doctor offered to prescribe something to help, but Elexa decided she would get through without it, and returned to work. But for the first time ever she watched the clock. Promptly, at five, she went home to bed.

Her doctor had said it would soon pass, but the next morning, and the next, it took all of Elexa's power of will to stay vertical. How soon, she wondered, was soon?

`You look awful!' !'Carol exclaimed, coming in to the cloakroom on Wednesday and catching her after another wave of nausea.

`Stomach upset,' Elexa explained.

`Why don't you go home?' Carol urged. It took a tremendous effort of will, but Elexa managed to find a smile. `Never,' she answered.

She awoke on Thursday morning and was afraid to stir. She did not want to get up and felt so tired it was as if she had never been to sleep. Carefully she slid her legs out of bed and gingerly stood up-and it started.

The bathroom seemed to have become her second home, but eventually she was able to stagger back into her bedroom. Today was the day of her interview-oh, grief. She had to be bright and alert-and she felt like death. She had to smile, answer intelligently in-depth questions, and find some intelligent questions to ask of her own-and all that was in her head was the hope that she didn't have to dash out of the boardroom to part with whatever sustenance she had thus far managed to hold down.

Fortunately she had a wardrobe full of smart businesslike clothes, so pulled out the nearest to hand. But by the time she was dressed and ready she was already running a half an hour late. She was still feeling groggy when she went to the door of her apartment. She was halfway through the door when a stray waft of someone cooking bacon for breakfast finished her.

Knocked sideways, Elexa made it to the bathroom just; nausea such as she'd never known was in charge. She spent the nexttenn minutes recognising she had never ever felt so ghastly-or so miserable. She wanted her mother. She wanted someone to come and take charge. She wanted someone to make her feel better.

But most of all she wanted Noah-and Noah was in Vienna, getting ready to make that most important speech. But, anyway, even if he wasn't far away in another country, he wouldn't want to know.

Suddenly nothing mattered. Not her job, nothing. She staggered to her bedroom without sufficient energy to get undressed, and collapsed on to the bed, fate laughing hollowly. So much for her telling Noah at the outset that she could easily cope with pregnancy. Her pregnancy was in its early stages yet-and already she was breaking her never had-a-day off-work-sick record!

Elexa surfaced some while later and summoned up sufficient energy to dial the offices of Colman and Fisher to say she wasn't feeling well.

`For you not to be feeling well must mean you are really laid low, particularly on a day like today,' Clive Warren said, sounding very concerned.`Have you called your doctor?"

'I've seen her,' Elexa replied, but, wanting nothing more than to put the phone down and to get some sleep, 'I'll be in tomorrow,' she promised. `You stay exactly where you are until you're feeling better. I'll do what I can about your interview.'

Elexa lay down again the minute the call had ended. She closed her eyes but was awakened just after midday by the ringing of the telephone. Immediately she thought of Noahand could have wept because she always did think of him. Only it wouldn't be him-it would never again be him. Why, for goodness' sake, would it be him? He was too busy preparing for that speech he would give at four o'clock to so much as give her a thought besides, as far as he knew, she was at her office.

She did not want to talk to anyone, and was glad when the phone finally stopped ringing.

She dozed off again and awakened just after two, trying to convince herself that she felt better.

For the baby's sake she forced down a couple of biscuits and drank some water. Tomorrow, she promised, she would really get herself sorted out. If she couldn't eat breakfast or lunch, she would make up for it in the evening. Just thinking of food sent her reeling to the bathroom again. When later she seemed to have an ounce more energy, Elexa thought she might feel better if she freshened up a little. To that end she cleaned her teeth and got out of her clothes. Then she took a brief shower and got into a fresh nightdress. After which she felt so exhausted again she went back to bed.

She glanced at the clock.Just coming up to four. Noah would be about to start his speech. Oh, how she wished she could be there with him. Oh, how she wished he could be here, with her. She loved him so much. Already she loved his child. She also knew that, whatever agreement they had made in the past, or would make in the future, she did not want to be parted from their baby.

Elexa was suddenly consumed by a feeling of anxiety. He wouldn't take the baby away from her, would he? Could he? She didn't know. She felt sick again. Then was startled out of her panic and misery to hear the door of her apartment being quietly opened!

She wanted to get up and run, to barricade herself in from the intruder. But she felt paralysed, and could do nothing but, her eyes enormous, stare at the door as the handle began to slowly turn. Someone was entering her bedroom!

Helplessly, her heart thundering, Elexa stared at the door.Stared as it slowly, quietly, opened further. She had thought she was about to faint from the knowledge that she was in no fit state to do battle with the burglar. But, as a tall, dark-haired, business-suited man stepped in through the open doorway, Elexa felt she would faint from shock!

Her heart didn't merely thunder as he quietly closed the door and began to approach her bed, it thrashed about violently. 'Noah!' she gasped-and felt certain she must be hallucinating.

CHAPTER NINE

HER eyes were enormous as Elexa watched Noah come closer to her bed. `W-what are you doing here?' She managed to string a sentence together as she struggled to sit up in bed.

`I might ask you the same question,' Noah replied evenly, his tone controlled as his stern glance raked her ashen face.

`Y-you're-supposed to be giving a speech-right now,' she mumbled, feeling totally bewildered and half ready to believe she really was hallucinating. Was Noah really here?

`And you're supposed to be having an interview for a job you prize more than anything,' he reminded her, his keen grey eyes taking in the darkk shadows beneath her eyes. `What's wrong, Elexa?' he asked quietly, kindly.

She didn't want him being kind-it melted her backbone, and she needed all the stiffness she could find. 'Nothing's wrong!' she denied, and knowing that there was only one reason why he had come to see her, albeit that she was utterly confused wondering why he had chosen a time when he should be elsewhere, addressing some vast conference, `You've come to discuss our divorce,' she stated wearily.

She caught his look of astoundment, quickly hiddenn though it was. `Are you delirious?' he questioned.

She wondered that herself-he shouldn't be here, but he was. `Why else would you be here?' she asked.

'I'm here because Clive Warren said ...' 'Clive Warren! My boss?' she exclaimed. `What-'

`I rang your office.' Noah forestalled her question and, coming closer, his eyes still fixed on her,he sat down on the edge of her bed.

Good heavens! Surely he wasn't that keen to get divorce discussions started that he had rung... `Where did you ring from?' she questioned abruptly as the thought landed.

`From Vienna,' he answered, his eyes never leaving her face.

`You rang my office from Vienna?' She was having difficulty taking it in. It was of no help to her powers of comprehension either that, as the shock of seeinghim so unexpectedly started to recede, Noah should be sitting so close to her.

`I thought I'd wish you luck with your interview after all,' he replied.

`Oh, Noah,' she said softly. `That was kind of you.' He shrugged that away. `Only you weren't there. Someone said you were off sick.' 'Ah,' she mumbled.

`So I rang here...'

`Was that you?' she exclaimed.`Around midday?'

Noah took on board that she had been in, had heard the phone ringing, but had obviously decided not to answer it. `When there was no reply I rang your mother...' Her eyes shot to his in alarm, until he continued, `And tactfully discovered you weren't there.'

'She'd have had a fit if you'd told her I was off work sick but that you couldn't find me!'

`That's what I thought, so I rang Clive Warren for more information.'

Noah had made two calls to Colman and Fisher! When he was so very busy, he had taken time out to... `Oh, Noah, I'm so sorry I put you to all that trouble.' It sounded as though he had been quite worried about her. But surely he hadn't quit the conference purely on her account!Ridiculous. She didn't believe it. Though-he wasn't due back until Saturday. He had told her that only last Saturday.

`Warren said you were ill. In his view you must be extremely ill-you'd never taken so much as half a day off for sickness in all the time you've worked for the firm.' Noah paused, and then quietly asked again, `What's wrong, Elexa?"

'Nothing, honestly,' she replied, aware that her lie didn't look good, not with her nightdress-clad and sitting up in bed at four o'clock in the afternoon.

`Nothing that is so bad you've called a doctor in to see you?"

'I didn't call a doctor in-I went to see one,' she quickly contradicted.

`And this was because there is nothing wrong with you?' Noah took up, starting to sound tough. `Look at you, your eyes as big as saucers, not a scrap of colour in your face,your ...'

'I'm feeling much better,' Elexa assured him hurriedly, and, given that she wasn't yet ready to test her feet on the floor, and given that she was feeling extremely anxious, she realised she was feeling better than she had all day. `I've rested all day,' she told Noah truthfully, 'and...'

`Are you in pain?' he questioned urgently.

`No. Not at all,' she denied swiftly.

`What does your doctor say is wrong with you?' Noah wanted to know.

Elexa racked her brain for some minor ailment. She wasn't flushed and there wasn't a sign of a cough or a cold about her. `Women's problems,' she brought out of thin air, and felt certain that would kill that particular line of enquiry. But-it didn't.

`What sort of women's problems?' Noah seemed determined to know. Stubbornly, she refused to answer. `This is the first time you've ever had to take time off work because of them,' he pressed.

She didn't want this conversation. He was getting close. She should never have said `Women's problems'. What had she been thinking of? 'Please-drop it, Noah,' she requested huskily.

`How can I, my dear?' he asked gently. `I know how very vital this promotion interview is to you. Yet suddenly, when everyone seems to know you are never ill, you are too ill to attend.'

Elexa stared at him and loved him so much. He had to know about the baby, she knew that he did, but not yet-she needed time to think. She had only just discovered herself how much she wanted to keep her baby, and while Noah had begun to think the idea of him being a father was not the best idea he'd ever had, she wasn't ready to take the risk of Noah deciding she must stick to their initial agreement and hand the baby over to live with him.