Party Poopers

Map

Morning Announcements

1.
Go, Bernie!

2.
Duck Plop

3.
My Biggest Fault

4.
Three Nostrils?

5.
Bernie Breath

6.
The Coolest Dude

7.
The Sound the Sharks Make

8.
Toe Fungus

9.
Crybabies

10.
Splat!

11.
The Big Rodent Hunt

12.
Tinkle Tinkle

13.
Egg Barf

14.
Ba-Boom! Ba-Boom!

15.
“Everybody Join In!”

16.
Good News, Bad News

17.
Jennifer Changes Her Mind

18.
In the Soup

19.
“Mmmmwwwwwaaaaaaaah!”

20.
A Deadly Tug of War

21.
Ruined!

About the Author

Other Books by Rotten School Series

Copyright

About the Publisher

Good morning, Rotten students. This is Headmaster Upchuck. I'd like to begin our Rotten day by reading the Morning Announcements. Those of you who are screaming or crying at the top of your lungs or pounding each other with your fists—please
stop
so that others may hear the announcements. Thank you.

 

The fourth grader known as Beast would like to invite everyone to the Crafts Fair in the gym. When
you go, you can see Beast's life-size sculpture of
me
—Headmaster Upchuck—made entirely from things he found in his nose.

 

Students in Ms. Sally Monella's Homemaker class will be selling used baked goods at the Crafts Fair. Ms. Monella tells me the cookies, brownies, and cakes are only
slightly
used.

 

I'm sorry to say that the Butt Sculptures molded in clay by third grader Murray Krissmus are disgusting and will not be shown at the fair. Murray's clay has been taken away from him.

 

Mrs. Twinkler announces something exciting this week: The guest speaker on Guest Speaker Day will be a well-known Hollywood chimpanzee.

 

And finally, fifth grader Harry Ahrms has been sent home for a while. He knows why.

The sun was shining. Birds twittered in the apple trees. As I trotted across the sparkling, green lawn, I sang to myself, my new favorite song….

Yes, I was making it up as I went along. I always write songs in my head. And they're usually about
one of my favorite people in the whole world—ME.

Come on, dudes—if
you
were popular and good-looking and smart—who would
you
sing about?

And today I had a
lot
to sing about.

For one thing, I love being at Rotten School. You poor thing. You probably have to go home every day after school. But Rotten School is a boarding school. I get to live at school in a dorm with all my friends—and NO PARENTS!

Cool enough for you?

Another reason I was singing: I was on my way to the girls' dorm to find April-May June. April-May June is the hottest, coolest, dreamiest, drooliest, babe-alicious girl on campus.

She's my girlfriend. Only she doesn't know it yet. She doesn't have a
clue
that we were meant for each other. But she
definitely
can't resist me.

Who can resist Bernie B.?

Don't you wish
you
could write songs off the top of your head like that?

Another reason I was singing? It was almost time for the party of the year. The All-Nighter. One of the great Rotten School traditions. Maybe you guessed from the name—the party goes ALL NIGHT LONG! We don't go to sleep till the sun comes up.

I knew April-May wanted to spend that special night with only one special person—Bernie B.

So I was trotting across the Great Lawn. I sang to myself and watched the girls come out of their tall, white dorm.

Suddenly I heard a deafening cry behind me:

Huh?

I stopped singing and hit the ground hard.