Passion Follows Pain (Passion Series Book 3) (11 page)

Lucian froze, shock making him unable to do or say anything for a moment. “What? You can’t be serious? No, no, you have to be wrong. What you are suggesting is completely abhorrent to me.” He raked a hand through his hair, his face pained. “No, god no; surely you are wrong. Her own father? He couldn’t, he wouldn’t.”

“I’m sorry son but it happens to children more than most would realise. We will find out if I’m wrong and for the record, I hope I’m wrong because this young woman should not be a victim of abuse, but we shall see. Hate me for getting Sirene to cast this spell on her, but let us at least see what is going on with her and be honest, wouldn’t you like to cut class and find out what you need to do to get closer to her; what you need to do to bed her, since you seem reluctant to use mind control so you can fuck her?”

Lucian’s eyes searched his sire’s looking for something to indicate this was a trick, or a way to use Arissa for his own amusement. Not for sex; Fabian would not try to fuck her. He was a one woman man since he’d met Sirene. She had tamed him quite a bit in the time they’d been together, and she’d brought out traces of a softer, kinder man. Despite that, it didn’t change the fact that his sire could and would occasionally mess with their minds; his way of keeping them all under his control, under his command.

The only ones he didn’t control were Dominick and Allegra but that was because they’d reached a tenuous level of respect for one another. Fabian had tried to have Dominick and Allegra killed and failed. Dominick and Allegra knew and yet they had saved Fabian’s life. With time, they’d all reached a kind of understanding. It was a case of ‘I won’t fuck with you, if you don’t fuck with me,’ which seemed to work for them all. Of course it helped that they didn’t live in Fabian’s house too. Dominick had his own home and he and Allegra lived there.

“You won’t hurt her?” He finally asked, his hand reaching out to push a strand of Arissa’s pale blonde hair back from her face.

“I’m not a monster, of course I will not harm her but you need to prepare for what we learn from her. It could be hard to listen to, and are you sure you will be able to look her in the eye afterwards and not be influenced by it?”

“I can do that; now please, begin. Let me learn the truth about Arissa. I hate to see her so timid all the time. Now that you’ve chosen to do this, I too am interested to find out what she holds locked away inside. I just hope you’re wrong with your suspicions.”

Chapter Seven

Lucian

“We’ll start with some easy questions for her Lucian and work up from there. I need to ask her things we know the answers to so we can be sure Sirene’s spell is working on her.” Fabian said. He touched Arissa on the shoulder so she would know he was talking to her. “What is your name?”

“Arissa Petros.” She replied.

“Let me ask her something please sire.” Lucian shifted closer to this woman who drove him crazy. “Where are you from? Where was home before you came to Tasmania?”

“The Central Coast of New South Wales.”

“Are you a virgin?”

“No.” Lucian’s mouth dropped open in surprise at her response. She acted like a virgin, he’d been sure she was one.

“Who took your virginity?” He asked, feeling himself tense as he waited for her reply.

“Father.” She replied, just one word, but that one word caused his stomach to twist, tension tightening in it, before rage began to simmer in him, building up and up until he shook with it. He stared at her, his expression tortured as his eyes travelled over her, her fragile, too thin form and he felt pain stab at him for what she had suffered and what that suffering had done to her.

“Oh god sire, you were right. How, how can her father have done this to her?” His eyes met Fabian’s briefly before turning back to Arissa. He reached out and brushed her silky soft hair back from her face.

“When did you lose your virginity Arissa?” Fabian asked.

“When father told me I was a big girl and needed to become a woman. He said I was ready. He said there is more to sex than just touching one another. I became a woman when I was 10. Father wanted me to lose my virginity on his birthday, I was his birthday present. Mummy was gone, she went to heaven and Father was lonely.” She said in such a matter of fact voice, like it was completely normal and Lucian struggled to keep himself under control. His hands curled into fists by his side. He wanted to hit something, no fuck it, he wanted to hit someone. He wanted to beat the shit out of the man who should have protected this girl but had used her and abused her for years.

“Oh god Lucian, I’m so sorry that this woman you have come to care for has suffered horribly.” Sirene’s voice was gentle as she placed a hand on his arm, seeing how tense he was, how tightly he held his body.

Fabian put his hand on Arissa’s shoulder and leaned closer to her. “Tell us what life was like growing up with your father little one. You are safe here. No one will judge you, no one will hurt you and your father can’t hurt you. He’s not here. You are safe.”

Lucian stepped closer to her and put an arm around her thin shoulders. “No sire. Do you think that’s wise? She might not be able to handle telling her story.” He paused for a moment, his eyes haunted. “I might not be able to handle hearing her story. I’m so angry, I just want to kill that bastard who did this to her. Ten, she was ten fucking years old when that fucker raped her, her own fucking father. That bastard will die, he’s going to fucking die!” He stormed off, circling the room like a caged animal.

“Calm down son. As hard as this is to hear, it will help you understand why this girl is the way she is. Trust me, her father, or that bastard whose seed made her will be punished. You will get your chance for revenge, but you must be patient, we all must be patient. If you want this girl, you will have to tread carefully with her. She obviously has no trust of men, why would she? We represent pain to her. She has probably suffered horribly at the hands of her father. You must prepare for the fact that she might never accept you son, she might never trust you, or allow you to bed her. She may well be too damaged. If you want this girl you will need mind control or perhaps Sirene can cast a spell on her to make her more.” He paused. “Accommodating.”

“I’m not using mind control on her sire and I don’t want Sirene to use witchcraft. I like this girl, I mean I really like this girl. I want her to come to me, to want me without it taking something to force that decision on her. Her own fucking father has been taking advantage of her, her whole damn life. I won’t do it to her too by forcing her to do what I want with mind control. Not with this woman. I can’t do it to her, I just can’t. I will wait for her and try to gain her trust.”

“I can see you care deeply for this young woman, but can you wait as long as it might take to make her yours Lucian? You’re a walking mess of sexual frustration now. This could take weeks, months, years or even forever.”

“I can wait sire.” Lucian said but inside he wondered if he could. He wanted her so much. He’d spent several weeks already trying to make progress with her and nothing. Well, she’d agreed to coming out with him on Saturday night, but he already knew that would mean a chaste kiss at the end of it, and he’d have to walk away, his body aching and needy for her yet again.

“I think we should proceed with our questioning of this girl.” Fabian said. “We can’t keep her here all night. The old woman will wonder where she is.”

“Let me speak Fabian.” Sirene interrupted. She turned to the young girl seated, still under her spell. “Tell us when this first began with your father. How did your mother die?”

“I was six years old. Mummy started getting sick when I was.” A frown marred her forehead. “I don’t remember how old I was, but Mummy just suddenly stopped wanting to play with me. She was coughing and she got thin and so sick. She was always in bed and then one day not long after I turned six, she was gone and father told me she was in heaven.

Father didn’t do so well with Mummy gone. He cried a lot and called for her, wishing she’d come back to him. He loved her. He started coming to me at night saying he missed her and he needed me to comfort him.

I didn’t like that though. He would press up against me, and hold me so tight I couldn’t sleep properly and his breath would be hot and loud in my ear. He drank too and smelled of alcohol. It was awful. It made me feel sick.

Father, he insisted I call him that started to get really angry and mean. I couldn’t seem to do anything that made him happy and I tried, I really tried. I wanted him to be happy so he wouldn’t hurt me. It never seemed to work though. He’d get angry and then he would beat me. He’d start by slapping me, but if I was really bad and needed to learn my lesson, he would punch me. He had all sorts of scary, painful things to use on me, so he could ‘beat the bad’ right out of me. He told me I was bad and needed it beaten out of me to make me a good girl. That’s when he would really mean business and start using things to hurt me, like whips, his belt, the buckled end of his belt, bamboo, the vacuum cleaner hose, anything really. He loved to lie on the floor by my feet and make me stand on one leg, and then beat me across my feet when I overbalanced. I’d try, I’d try so hard to stand on one foot but I couldn’t and I’d eventually go over and then Father would punish me.

As I got older, it seemed I couldn’t do anything to please him. He beat me a lot. He locked me up in a room with just one tiny window. I hated that. It was so dark and I got scared sometimes. I had no pretty things, no nice toys and hardly any books or anything to do. My room had a tiny bathroom with a toilet and a wash basin. Father would only let me have a shower a couple of times a week but I got good at cleaning myself in the basin.

When I turned ten, he came to me one night and said since it was his birthday it was time I gave him a birthday present, and he said I had the perfect present for him. He wanted my virginity. He said that since we only had one another, we should be together, forever, every way possible. I wasn’t sure what that meant exactly but he showed me.” Lucian watched her face buckle up in an expression of agony and his hands curled up into fists again.

He struggled to contain the fury he felt when he saw the pain on her face as she remembered what that bastard had done to her. The more she spoke and the more he learned of what she’d endured, the more determined he was, that he would find the bastard who called himself her father and tear his head off his fucking shoulders.

“Father told me it was time for me to become a woman but becoming a woman hurt so bad.” She began to cry, yet no sound came from her. She was silent, the tears rolling down her cheeks as she obviously re lived every horror of that night she’d lost her virginity to her father.

Lucian listened to her describe in graphic detail what had been done to her; the pain, the violent invasion of her body and every grunt, every thrust, every hot rasping breath from the animal who had raped his own daughter. As she spoke, he noticed that her voice was changing. It was as if she was regressing, her speech more childlike.

“Why does she sound like a child sire? It seems that as she talks and reveals more, she is reliving it, she is becoming a child again.”

“It’s the side effects of the spell Lucian.” Sirene said. “She is telling the story of her childhood but in her mind, she isn’t just seeing it, she is reliving it. Because of that, she will sound more childlike and may even adopt some childlike mannerisms so don’t be surprised if she does.”

“Father would get so angry with me sometimes.” She continued. “I’d get so scared. He was angry with me if I cried or tried to make him stop. He would hit me if I didn’t do things the way he liked. Horrible things, dirty things that made me choke or want to be sick.” She shuddered and Lucian’s eyes closed briefly when he realised what she was referring to, what her father had made her do to him.

“The worst times with father were the times I got pregnant. I was thirteen the first time and you have no idea how angry he got when he found out. He used to do awful things to me to make me lose the baby.” Again she shuddered violently with remembered fear and pain and Lucian’s teeth snapped together so hard, he was surprised he didn’t break them.

“Eventually I never got pregnant again, so I think something must have happened; probably one particular time when father performed an abortion that hurt worse than the other times. I got really sick too. I hurt so badly and I would be hot and then cold and I couldn’t eat. After that, I never had a baby start to grow in me again.” A fleeting look of sorrow crossed her face and Lucian felt unfamiliar tears prick at the back of his eyes. God how she’d suffered and yet she was so strong, so beautiful, so sweet.

When he looked back at Arissa, tears were rolling down her face too and he reached out, gently wiping them away but they kept coming faster, too fast for him to stop them.

“How many times did you get pregnant little one?” Fabian asked his hand on her shoulder.

“Four times I got pregnant before there were no more. I don’t think I can have babies but that’s ok. I won’t be having sex with anyone anyway.”  She said with such conviction in her voice that Lucian winced despite the seriousness and horror of her revelations.

When he looked up, Fabian was watching him, one eyebrow quirked and Lucian knew from that look on his sire’s face that he was questioning whether he would want to persevere with her when she’d just said she’d never have sex again. His eyes dropped to Arissa’s pale blonde hair and he studied her fragile features, the high cheek bones, her full lips, those stunning blue eyes of hers and he knew, despite what she’d just said, he couldn’t give up. If anything he wanted to be the one to show her that sex didn’t have to mean pain.

He wanted to show her what pleasure unlike anything she’d ever experienced felt like. He would have to be gentle with her and not fuck her hard like he so badly wanted to. No he would need to be gentle, he would need to make love to her, something he hadn’t done in decades. This would be about making her feel, it would not be for himself. Silently he groaned. Was he just determined to make life fucking hard for himself? Did he get off on the slow torture? He must, to be even considering slowly bringing Arissa back to life, the old fashioned, painful way, with no tricks, mind control, nothing but his slow, gentle wooing of her. He’d better get used to the blue balls because he was pretty confident it was a condition he was going to become extremely familiar with.

“Did you go to school?” He asked needing to learn more from her before Sirene lifted the spell.

“Oh yes, father insisted I go to school but he would drive me and pick me up to make sure I always came straight home again. He didn’t want me having anything to do with boys or anything like that. Girls who hang around with boys are dirty girls.”

At her words he exploded. “Fuck! You have got to be kidding me! That fucking prick told her dirty girls hang around boys? What the fuck did he think it was for him to be raping his own fucking daughter? Where in that twisted motherfucker’s brain did he decide it was ok to do what he did to her?”

“Calm down son.” Fabian spoke quietly. “It’s pointless trying to work out how that bastard’s mind worked; how he could justify what he did. He’s a sick man; don’t try to make sense of what he did and what he’d probably still be doing if she hadn’t escaped him.”

“How did you get away from your father Arissa?” Lucian asked.

She smiled. “My best friend Debbie; well my only friend from school. We stayed in touch as well as we could once we finished school. Father didn’t like me having friends. No one was ever allowed to come to the house and I never got to go to anyone’s house. He would allow me to speak to Debbie by phone, once a week once we left school.

It took a while, but she was determined to help me. God I hate to think what father could be putting her through now, if he’s gone to her to see if she knows where I am. He’d have to know she helped, that I couldn’t have done all that alone. I feel so bad because he will make her life hell.

Father had no tolerance for people being late. He hated it and repeatedly said there was never any excuse for a person to ever be late. Now I’m gone, he had to be beside himself and so furiously angry. I remember if I was late for anything, father would beat me until I was black and blue or bleeding. He didn’t think I’d been truly punished if I wasn’t bruised or bleeding. He said that all the time.

Debbie was the only person that knew what father was like and she made all the arrangements. She paid to get me down here, she found me the job, it was her that worked out the best way of getting me away from him. I’m so scared he will find me though. He must be furious and you have no idea what he is like when he’s furious. He’s nearly choked me to death with his rage and he’s broken ribs. I have scars from him. I’m ugly; he told me I’m ugly because of my scars. He told me I’m stupid and useless and that I’ll never amount to anything.” Her voice trailed off and her face smoothed out. Her expression blank again.

“What’s wrong with her? Is she ok?” Lucian asked, worried about why she’d gone quiet.

“She’s alright.” Sirene assured him. “She’s said all she has to say I suspect or she’s lost in her own thoughts. If you need to learn more you will need to ask her specific questions.”

“Where are your scars? I’m sure they are not ugly, you are not ugly Arissa, but please let me see your scars.”

“They’re on my stomach and back, some on my legs. I am fortunate that father made sure they were not visible when I’m dressed. He was very careful to make sure he didn’t cut my skin so they could be seen over my clothes. If you lift my shirt you will see some.”

“I will do it.” Sirene stepped forward and gently untucked Arissa’s t-shirt and lifted it.

“Fuck!” Lucian whispered as he stared down at the network of scars that crisscrossed over her back. It was obvious she’d been beaten so hard, the skin had been torn open and some looked suspiciously like knife marks. She should have been stitched up for some of them but that bastard wouldn’t have done that for her. That’s why several had healed badly he guessed.

“Ok we’ve seen enough.” He pulled her shirt down again and tucked it back into her jeans, his hand lingering on her warm skin. How he wished he could touch her like this when she was conscious of it and not while under a spell.

“How old are you?” He had to know, he had to know how long she’d suffered for.

“Nineteen.”

“God, she’s nineteen?” He raked his hands through his hair. “Fucking nineteen and she’s had to endure all that shit from her bastard father. I want him, I want that fucker. I’m going to fucking kill him.”

“No you won’t son. We will take care of her father, but it will be done with care. We don’t want to leave loose ends, anything that could raise suspicions. Trust me, you will get your chance but not the way you want. There will be no rushing in to this. You must react with your mind and not your heart. Now I need to know something about this young woman, her father’s location and I do not want you present Lucian. Please leave the room until I tell you to come back.”

Lucian snorted. “You can’t be serious. I want to know where that bastard lives.”

“I told you to go and I will not ask you again. If you do not leave I will be forced to throw you out or I will get Sirene to cast a spell on you to get you out. The choice is yours. So which is it to be?”

“Fuck you.”  Lucian snapped, storming out of the room where he began to pace up and down the corridor impatiently. He was so angry, angry with his sire; angry with life, but more than anything he was angry, so fucking angry with Arissa’s father. He wanted him; he wanted him so fucking badly. He wouldn’t even feed from him. He wouldn’t want to be tainted by that bastard. He simply wanted to torment and torture him for a while; get Sirene to help with a few spells to make the asshole’s life a living hell, and then finish him off by snapping his neck, watching the life fade from his eyes.

While he was pacing up and down, the front door opened and Adrian walked in. Lucian glared at him. He didn’t want him anywhere near Arissa. The women liked Adrian, the son of Fabian and Sirene. He’d been turned adult by witchcraft after being accidentally shot in his mother’s arms as a baby when the shooters had been after her. Then they’d made him vampire but he was warlock also as it turned out. Adrian was different from the rest of them. He was vampire, but he didn’t act like one. He didn’t seem to need as much blood as the rest of them and he never brought women home, so no one knew for sure what he was doing for blood and sex. It was his looks that made Lucian feel threatened and since he wasn’t confident about Arissa, he didn’t want her seeing Adrian. She might like how tall he was, well over 6 foot, broad shoulders, narrow waist, intense pale blue/green and grey eyes plus hair as black as a raven with a few surprising streaks of a dirty blonde through it. It had been really long when he’d first been turned, falling down to his waist but he’d had it cut to a more manageable length. It reached his shoulders and was swept off his face, but one lock always fell forward over his forehead and teamed with everything else, he had a lot of appeal to the ladies. Lucian didn’t want the potential competition with Arissa; she was his, no one else was taking her from him.

“What’s going on?” Adrian asked.

“Your father is extracting information right now and I was not allowed to be a part of it.”

“What kind of information?”

“It’s a long story but it involves the woman from over the road that I have a date with on Saturday.”

Adrian’s face filled with amusement. “So she finally agreed to go out with you? Still, why are you out here wearing a track in the marble while this young woman of yours is with father?”

“Your mother has her under a spell and father is questioning her. Poor Arissa has been abused by her bastard of a father for years. I’m talking everything, he’s even performed abortions on her and from what she was saying he’s sterilised her now with his treatment of her. Fabian wants to find out where her father lives but he wouldn’t allow me to be in the room while he got that information from her. He doesn’t trust me not to go after him.”

“A wise decision by father if the anger coming off you in such intense waves is any indication of how crazy for revenge you must be. So this girl you long to make yours is damaged, emotionally and physically? You realise she may never be what you desire then? I agree with father. Rushing in without careful planning could potentially draw attention to us. We have to handle this carefully. You must know that and know that mother and father will make Arissa’s father pay, but be patient Lucian, please, listen to father.”

Lucian ground his teeth together with frustration. Everyone was telling him to be careful, that he had to act responsibly; no rushing in, well fuck it, he wanted to rush in, he wanted to tear the man’s fucking head right off his fucking shoulders. He curled his hands into fists by his side and began his restless pacing again.

“I know what you’re saying makes sense, I know what father is saying makes sense, but I don’t have to fucking well like it.” He growled.

Adrian opened his mouth to reply when Fabian suddenly appeared in the doorway. “You can come back inside now Lucian. Hello my son, you’re home, excellent timing.” He turned to Adrian, his real son, the son Sirene and Fabian conceived during the short time he’d been human.

They both walked into the room and Lucian hurried back to Arissa who still sat, an almost serene look on her face. If only she could be left like that all the time. There was no fear, no tension in her, she was the calmest he’d ever seen her.

“Is there anything you wish to ask her before Sirene lifts the spell? Once she lifts it, this young woman will have no memory of what was just done to her. It will feel like she’s dreamed the whole thing.”

Lucian decided to take a chance and ask her one question that would let him know if he was completely wasting his time or not. “Do you like me?”

“Yes but you frighten me too. You are so good looking like the men in the books that Daisy gives me to read.”

Lucian felt a smile tug at his lips at her words. She liked him but she was frightened of her feelings. There was hope for him after all. “Do you want to have sex with me?” When he asked that question, his whole body tensed up as he waited for her response.

“No, sex scares me, it hurts, it always hurts.” At her words he felt unexpectedly gutted, but then she continued. “I don’t know what it is or why it happens but when I’m around you I feel things, strange things. You make me feel funny here.” She pointed to her stomach. “You make me feel funny here.” She pointed between her legs.”

At her words, Lucian grinned, relief surging through him. All was not lost. She didn’t want sex because sex to her represented pain but she couldn’t stop her body’s natural reaction to him when they’d kissed. He still had a chance.

“If I could prove to you that it is possible for sex to be the most intensely pleasurable thing you’ve ever experienced, would you let me show you?” He asked, his body suddenly tense as he waited, his eyes moving over her beautiful face.

Finally her lips parted. “Yes.” Was all she said.

Chapter Eight

Arissa

I heard the sound of voices. They came to me, penetrating the fog in my head; voices that sounded like they were coming at me down a long tunnel. They became louder and louder until finally with a gasp, I opened my eyes.