Passion Follows Pain (Passion Series Book 3) (19 page)

He waited for her response, watching various expressions cross her face. Suddenly her eyes shot to his. “Is this your own private bedroom?”

Lucian nodded. “Yes it is. I would never take you to the communal room baby. Now I need those few minutes alone.” He had to get himself in the bathroom and make himself come quickly. With the talk of the communal room and sex it made his imagination work overtime and all he could think of was being buried deep in Arissa. If he was hard before, he was painfully hard now, so much so he could no longer wait for her to go home, he needed the relief immediately.

“Will you be gone long?” She asked and he had to fight not to let his impatience show with her. He needed to get away from her before he did something stupid like yell or perhaps say to hell with it, mind control her and fuck her until he couldn’t see straight any more.

“No baby.” He ground out through clenched teeth and before he said or did something stupid that would set him right back with her, he walked into the bathroom, his back rigid, his movements stiff from his discomfort and quietly closed the door.

Arissa

I watched Lucian walk into his bathroom and close the door. I felt a little hurt that he’d been obviously fighting anger before he’d left me and I worried that I’d done something wrong. Would he punish me the way father had always done if he’d been mad at me? Maybe he wanted me to leave? It was getting late after all and perhaps he was tired? He was a vampire though; didn’t they stay up all night and sleep during the day? Ok they all had the tattoo to allow them to be out in daylight but I’d never seen any of them getting around in the middle of the day.

Suddenly I heard a crash from the bathroom as if something had been broken, followed by a string of curses. God what had he done? Had he hurt himself? I rushed to the door and knocked. “Lucian, are you ok?”

“Fuck, shit, dammit!” I heard more swearing, then silence for a minute. “I’m alright.” He finally called back, but something in his tone didn’t sound right. He sounded strained as if in pain and suddenly worried about him, I barged into the bathroom. I stood in the open doorway for a moment wondering why I’d done that. I’d never have been this brave with my father. I tried to stay out of his way as often as possible, but he’d still come after me and hurt me.

Perhaps rushing unannounced into a bathroom with an angry man inside was a risky move on my part, but a potentially dangerous one given it was the bathroom of a vampire. It was only as I stood inside that the scene in front of me finally registered.

Lucian was hunched over on the floor picking up glass which appeared to have cut him as there were drops of blood on the white tiled floor. I glanced up, seeing the room for the first time. It was a stunning bathroom. White tiled floor, but the walls were a gorgeous tranquil blue/green, an aqua colour, with diamond shaped patterns of tiles in white, strategically positioned around the room. The shower was huge, with four shower heads and the vanity had his and her basins. God, everything about Fabian’s home was big, beautiful, and extravagant.

Then my eyes shifted to Lucian and I saw him, really saw him this time. I gasped in shock because although he was still dressed, his jeans were open and the biggest, longest, most gigantic penis I’d ever seen was sticking out through his open fly. My eyes widened at the sight of it but then he shifted, straightening, as if finally realising what I was looking at. He hastily pulled his silk shirt over it in an attempt to hide it from me, but not before I’d seen the glint of silver piercing the head.

“Arissa what are you doing in here. I told you I was fine.” He went back to picking up the glass and wouldn’t meet my eyes.

“I heard something break and I was worried you might have injured yourself.” I said quietly.

“It was a glass, that’s all. I accidently knocked it down. You can wait in my room for me, I won’t be long.” Still he picked up glass without looking up at me.

“What is wrong Lucian? Are you angry with me? Why won’t you look at me?”

Finally he raised his eyes to me and straightened, dumping the pile of glass in his hand into the nearby bin. “I’m not angry with you, I’m looking at you now and you want to know what’s wrong?” He walked up to me, not breaking eye contact. “You really want to know what’s wrong?” He bent closer until we were nearly nose to nose. “I’ve been trying to spare you so I don’t upset you but you just won’t let it go will you Arissa? You just won’t give me the time I asked for.” He growled.

I shivered my heart beginning to pound loudly in my chest. “I...I’m…I’m sorry. I...I was…I was worried about you. I didn’t…didn’t mean to upset you.” I started to back away.

A tortured look crossed his face; just a fleeting look and briefly he closed his eyes. When he opened them again, his pupils were so dilated, his eyes appeared black. With a groan he grabbed me pulling me into his arms, his lips slamming down on mine. I tensed up, that familiar burst of panic filling me but then his lips began to move, forcing mine apart, and his tongue slipped into my mouth. As quickly as the panic hit me it was gone as excitement took over. This was Lucian not my father.

God the brush of his lips, the feel of his tongue licking at mine, his taste, his scent, was intoxicating. I felt his arms tighten around me, sliding down to cup my buttocks, dragging me against him.

My hands rose, pushing into his silky hair, raking over his scalp before trailing my fingers down the back of his neck. I moved my hands over his shoulders feeling his muscles flex under my fingers. He felt so strong, his body hard to my touch.

He pulled me into him harder and suddenly I felt him, I felt it. He was so hard and pressed into me, his hips moving restlessly, he felt so big, huge in fact. I panicked at the feel of his erection and thrust my hands against his shoulders, wrenching free of his arms. Hastily I backed up gasping for air, and saw him watching me closely, so still, so silent. It was a little unsettling how he made no sound, he didn’t breathe.

“I warned you to stay away from me baby. I told you to leave me alone for a little while, now maybe you will understand why. I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to frighten you and I meant it when I said I would not force myself on you, but I’m a man and I have needs. As a vampire I have needs. I need blood, I need sex. I can get one need from you, but you are not ready and may never be ready to give me that other thing I need. I am trying not to frighten you but when I say leave me alone, I mean, leave me alone. I need to get some relief. I need to ease the pain and discomfort I’m feeling. This hurts baby.” He waved a hand at his erection. “When I’m near you or I think of you, I end up like this. You have tied me up in knots with desire since I first met you” He tipped his head back, eyes shut, the strong column of his neck exposed, the veins standing out. I could see the agony in his expression and suddenly and inexplicably, my fears melted away.

I don’t know why they did, why his words didn’t scare me, why his erection wasn’t making me run out that door and from the house like I was on fire but for some reason, I wasn’t scared. Maybe it was him, the look in his eyes that changed how I felt. He didn’t have that mean, intimidating, cruel look in his eyes. Lucian was looking at me with pain, desire, frustration, but most of all, he was looking at me with concern. He really did care. No matter how badly he wanted me, and I was no fool, he wanted me. That huge erection of his was hard to miss, but the fact that he was more worried about me, that he wasn’t looking to satisfy his own needs, made me care for him that little bit more, and made my fear at seeing him so highly aroused, fade away.

I wanted to help him. I wasn’t sure that I could. I’d been forced to meet my father’s needs, beaten and abused into submission with him. I knew the mechanics of it all, to bring a man to orgasm but this was not like being with my father. Lucian was the first man I actually wanted to please. I wanted to make him feel good, to reach his release, but I’d never attempted to seduce a man before, to caress him, to coax him to the ultimate conclusion. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I wanted to at least try.

Tentatively I stepped towards him and saw him tense, his eyes widening. “I…I wish I could help you Lucian. I wish I could let you do what I know you want to do. I think…I think I will, well I hope that one day I will be able to give you what you want, but for now let me help you. You need help and I need help, I need help from you to make me see your thing doesn’t have to be scary to me. I need help because I want to do something to help you. Show me. Show me what I need to do to help you, please.” I raised my eyes to his, pleading with him. “Show me.”

“You want to see my cock?” He asked incredulously. “Is that what you’re asking me?”

“Your cock.” I tried out the word, repeating it, accentuating my pronunciation of it.  I looked up at him and saw he was watching me with a hint of amusement in his eyes. As I stared at him, they got darker and darker until they looked black and I knew he wanted me. I felt my nipples harden as he watched me and I was getting wet. The tension was building between us, I could feel it, the air crackled with it and I licked my lips nervously as I waited to see what would happen next.

“So what exactly is it you want me to show you agapi mou? You do know what I’m in here to do don’t you? I can’t fuck you, so I need to take myself in hand, to masturbate. I don’t really think you want to be here for that, so I suggest you go out to my bedroom again and wait for me.”

“I don’t want to leave.” I whispered and in a bold move, I stepped up to him, pushing his shirt aside, hearing him gasp and his stomach muscles tense when my fingers brushed his skin. My eyes lowered to him and it was my turn to gasp. My god but he was huge. I’d never seen anything like it before. Ok, I didn’t have much to compare him to, but he was big, long, thick, quite simply, he was huge. He was so much bigger than father’s had been and whereas I’d thought father’s cock was an ugly looking thing with his wrinkled, sagging balls, Lucian’s cock was straight and had such a nice shape to it, his balls firm, round and…blue? They looked blue, well sort of a blue anyway. That couldn’t be right, blue testicles?

“Why...are...your...balls...blue? Are you sick or something? Is that because you’re a vampire?” I asked and Lucian chuckled.

“No, obviously you’ve never heard of blue balls. It’s because I’ve been sexually aroused for several hours or so and haven’t been able to come that they’ve gone a sort of bluish colour. Having you trust me enough to allow me to bring you to orgasm was incredible baby, but you have no idea how hard it is for me to touch you, caress you and not have you touch me back, to not be able to make love to you. Now, again, I need you to leave me so I can relieve my case of blue balls.” He tried to make light of it but I could see just how hard it was for him. There was a lot of tension in his face and the strain was showing in his eyes.

“Can I watch?” I asked, holding his gaze despite the heat I could feel rising in my cheeks.

Lucian closed his eyes and swallowed noisily. When he opened them again I could see his expression was tortured. Did the idea of me being with him repulse him that much?

“It’s ok, you don’t want me here. I’ll go.” I turned to leave but Lucian’s long fingers closed around my arm halting me.

“No baby, you got it wrong. I don’t want you to leave, but I hope you know what you’re doing. Can you help me? Will you let me touch you, caress your breasts while I take myself in hand? Will that be too much for you given your past? I don’t want to scare you or make you uncomfortable and I sure as hell don’t want you comparing me to your father. So, you tell me, do you still want to stay?”

I thought about what he was asking me. He wanted to touch me while he masturbated. Could I let him? Was I ready for that? I looked up into his gorgeous face and realised that yes I could, it was Lucian. He’d already proven to me that he could touch me and not attempt to force himself on me, and I had liked it very much when he’d touched me before. He was nothing like my father but sadly my father was all I had as a comparison. I lowered my eyes to Lucian’s cock which still peeped out from his shirt, so long and big with that metal glinting in it. How had he taken that? It must have hurt surely?

“Ok, I would like to stay and if touching me helps you then I’m ok with that. I know you’re not my father, you’re nothing even remotely like him but he’s all I know. I’ve never been with another man before, and I’m only just learning things about you now. I do know that you are very big and it is beautiful, but not just because it’s pierced. Did that hurt? Of course it hurt, it has to have hurt, didn’t it? I never thought I would think a man’s thing was beautiful but yours is.” I said, raising my eyes to his.

Lucian shook his head at me and I realised I’d just bombarded him with a stack of questions. I couldn’t help it with him though. He made me nervous but at the same time I trusted him, I liked him, no it was more than that, I was falling for him. I loved who he was, what he was and I loved his patience with me. I loved that he wanted me to want him, when all he had to do was mind control me and I’d be none the wiser, but he wouldn’t do it. I wasn’t even sure what love was really; not down deep inside, but if caring deeply about someone else was love, if wanting to please someone else, even if it went against my natural instincts at first was love, then I was falling in love with him. I knew he didn’t love me, I wasn’t expecting it, but I knew he cared and that was enough for me.

“I’m sorry I ask too many questions.” I mumbled, suddenly self-conscious when he remained silent.