Passion Never Dies (18 page)

After almost a full minute of kissing, Jake leaned away and smiled at her.

“I’ve missed your sexy mouth,” he said, his voice deep, his eyes simmering with passion.

To keep him from affecting her again, she reached over to get a slice of cheese and French bread.

“Suddenly, I’m feeling quite famished,” she said, biting into the Havarti cheese and bread.

“Me, too,” Jake said, his grin still in place.

“We need to talk,” said Diana quietly.

Jake nodded, seeing the serious look in her eyes.

“I’m sorry that I -”

“I’m sorry -”

They both started speaking at the same time and both stopped abruptly. Diana let out a nervous laugh, sweeping her dark brown hair away from her face as she glanced at Jake under her eyelashes.

“Okay, you start,” she said softly.

Jake took her hand in his and gently stroked her knuckles with his fingertips causing her breath to hitch.

“I’m sorry that I made you mad at me,” Jake said apologetically. “I literally put my foot in my mouth and I’ve been kicking myself ever since. I didn’t realize I was being so insensitive and dictatorial.”

Diana looked deeply into his eyes and read the sincerity there. She found that she could forgive him almost anything by just looking into his stunning, green eyes.

“You forgot arrogant,” she said wryly. She paused then said, “I’m sorry that I lost my temper though.”

Jake lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles, causing her emotions to go into overdrive again.

“You’re beautiful when you’re angry,” he said huskily.

“You should see me when I’m having a full blown temper tantrum.”

Jake laughed. “I’d rather not.” He paused before continuing solemnly, “I’ve missed you these past two days, sweetheart.”

“I’ve missed you too, Jake. It has been pretty awful.”

“Then let’s start over and enjoy this picnic,” he suggested.

Diana nodded and, conceding to the wishes of her growling stomach, dug into the picnic food with relish.

By the time Diana had eaten the last chocolate-covered strawberry, she was ready to take a nap on Jake’s lap. A young family of four had arrived at the meadow and was playing Frisbee while an elderly couple had set up camping chairs nearby and looked to be set on bird watching with their binoculars.

“I wanted to give you something,” Jake said suddenly, his voice serious.

Diana’s eyes widened in astonishment as she watched him take out a small, black velvet box from the back pocket of his jeans.

“Jake, what -” Diana started, but he held out his hand to stop her from continuing.

“Just listen to me for a minute,” Jake said earnestly.

He opened the lid of the box and Diana’s eyes widened farther at seeing the large diamond ring nestled inside.

“Oh, wow, Jake,” she said slowly. “That is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen.”

Diana’s heart was galloping a mile a minute as her mind tried to wrap itself around the fact that Jake was about to propose to her.

“Will you marry me, Diana?”

Jake’s voice was full of emotion as he asked her the question. She couldn’t look away from his intense gaze and her heart melted when she read the tenderness there.

“Jake...this is so unexpected.”

Diana was at a loss for words. His marriage proposal was honestly the last thing she had expected from him.

“Say yes,” he said urgently, the intensity in his gaze deepening.

Diana was tempted to throw caution to the wind and say yes immediately, but something held her back. She needed to hear the words that would make both her heart and mind agree to accept his proposal.

“Why do you want to marry me, Jake?”

“Because you’re the one woman in the world whom I can’t live without,” he said softly.

It was close, but it wasn’t enough for Diana.

“And?” she persisted, her hands clenched as she willed him to say the words she needed to hear.

“And?” he repeated, frowning.

“What else?” she prodded him.

“Well...I know you and I are compatible in bed and out of it.” He paused and added, “And I know that you’ll love New York.”

He stopped, looking momentarily stymied, and she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The man she loved had proposed, but for reasons that were completely unacceptable. Her heart dropped like a stone into her stomach at the acute disappointment she felt at his answer.

“You’re joking, right?” she asked, becoming upset. “You know that you’re proposing for reasons that are so unacceptable that they’re almost ludicrous.”

“What is wrong, Diana?” he asked in genuine surprise. “I thought you’d be happy.”

“If all you’re looking for is a bed buddy, then count me out,” she said stiffly.

“That is
not
what you are to me and you know that, Diana,” Jake answered in an aggravated tone. He swept his blond hair back in frustration.

“I need a better reason for uprooting my whole life and moving to New York with you.”

“Isn’t marriage a good enough reason? Besides, it’s not as though you would suffer with the lifestyle I can provide for you, Diana.”

Diana eyes narrowed at his slightly pompous statement.

“What do you mean?” she asked stiffly.

“I’m sure you could adjust to living with me. I have a beautiful town house in Manhattan and I also own a vacation house in the Bahamas. I can provide you with anything you want,” he said with confidence.

Diana was completely affronted. Did he think that his money could sway her into marriage?

“You think that material things are very important to me, Jake?” She suddenly started feeling sad at his estimation of her. When had she shown him that she only cared for his wealth?

Jake stared at her for a moment. She could see that it had finally dawned on him that he had said one too many blunders, but it was too late. She was no longer sure if could spend one more minute in his presence without wanting to slap him.

“I’m just saying that I’m wealthy and you would want for nothing.”

“Do I look poor or something?” Disgusted by his focus on money, she looked away. “When have I ever made you think that I was materialistic?” “I -”Jake stopped and sighed, running his hands through his hair again. “I’m sorry, Diana. I just want you to be happy. I’ll be a good husband...and a good father.”

The mention of parenthood affected Diana in an unanticipated way. She had always wanted to be a mother, but she had not seriously considered it until now. She pictured an adorable, green-eyed little boy in her arms and the ache inside her intensified.

“I know we’d be good together, Diana. We already are,” persisted Jake. He took her hand in his and kissed her palm. She drew her hand away and shook her head.

“But how do you
really
feel about me, Jake? Please, be honest,” she said, staring into his eyes. She mentally willed him to open up his heart to her.

“Diana, you mean so much to me. I - I can’t envision my future without you.” Jake paused and then sighed. “What more can I say?”

For a moment, the confusion on his face made her sympathize with him and indecision made her hesitate.

“I - I care about you, Jake,” she said, but she wasn’t going to tell him she loved him. It would leave her too vulnerable, especially since he clearly didn’t love her back. “But marrying you would be a mistake.”

Diana stood up on shaky legs, wanting nothing more than to go home and lick her wounds. She had so desperately wanted to accept his marriage proposal and be his bride, but she realized now that Jake wasn’t in love with her and she couldn’t force him to be.

“Diana, wait,” Jake said in an urgent voice as he stood and placed his hands on her shoulders.

“We can’t leave things like this,” he said sternly.

She felt shattered, but she knew that she had to walk away. Without love, she had no choice but to deny him.

“I don’t understand what you want, Diana. I already told you that I can’t live without you, that you mean so much to me, and that I can’t imagine a future without you. What more do you want?”

“It’s not enough, Jake,” she replied sadly. “I need a better reason for why you want to marry me.”

Jake’s eyes widened as comprehension finally dawned.

“You want me to say I love you?”

Diana’s heart began to beat frantically in her chest as he gazed down at her intensely. She nodded slowly, but knew from his body language that he wasn’t able or willing to say the words she so desperately needed to hear. Jake removed his hands from her shoulders and looked away.

“Diana, I don’t know if I love you...I’ve never been in love before.”

She nodded and closed her eyes briefly, not wanting him to see the pain in them.

“I understand, Jake,” she said softly, opening her eyes. Overwhelming hurt permeated her entire body, but she was determined not to show him the extent of her misery. With an inborn strength she didn’t know she possessed, she maintained her composure even though she wanted to scream.

“Thank you for being honest with me.”

Diana turned to walk away, but Jake captured her hand.

“You’re being stubborn, Diana,” he said in a hard voice.

“Let me go, Jake. We have nothing else to say to each other,” she said, glaring at him.

“I’ll never let you go,” he answered, glaring back.

Diana was rendered momentarily speechless, seeing the turbulence in his eyes.

“I have to fly back to New York tomorrow night to take care of business, but I’ll be back in a few days. I want a different answer from you when I return.”

Diana could sense that he was restraining his emotions tightly, but she wasn’t going to back down. Her self-preservation was on the line and she had to stay strong.

“Have a good flight,” she said softly. “Now please release me.”

Jake released her reluctantly and she was finally able to tear her gaze away from his. She slowly walked back to her car, each step away from him compounding her misery. It felt like little pieces of her heart were falling onto the ground. The cold, hard truth was that he didn’t love her, therefore, she had no intention of giving him a different answer.

~

Back at her apartment, Diana wallowed in her bed, a box of tissues at her side. Even though it was only six o’ clock in the evening, she had already changed into her short, pink nightgown and was staring at her bedroom ceiling morosely, wiping at the tears in her eyes with a tissue. Everything would have been so different if she had said yes to Jake’s marriage proposal. She would have been gleefully telling her mother and Natalie the great news; she would be busy planning her wedding and her move to New York. She would have been overjoyed to be Nathan’s new aunt.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang and hope exploded in her chest. It could be Jake. Perhaps he had just realized that he loved her after all. Jumping out of bed, she put on her white, silk, short robe and ran out to her living room to fling open the door.

Her heart fell as she recognized the one person she had never expected to see again. Richard.

~

“Hi, Diana,” Richard said uncomfortably. “May I come in?”

Diana stared at him in puzzlement. She hadn’t seen Richard in almost two months. Tightening the ties of her robe around her waist, she opened the door wider and gestured for him to come in.

“Hi, Richard. It’s been a long time.”

Richard cleared his throat and she sensed that he was ill at ease.

“I didn’t want to disturb you, but I wanted to say goodbye.”

Diana frowned. “Where are you going?”

“Portland, Oregon. I accepted a teaching position there.”

“I didn’t realize you wanted to move.”

“After we broke up, I figured I needed a change of scenery,” Richard said sadly.

Diana felt terrible seeing Richard’s downcast demeanor. Her sudden and immediate romance with Jake had blinded her from seeing the pain she had inflicted on Richard. Now that she was experiencing some misery of her own, she sympathized deeply with him.

“Oh, Richard, I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you,” Diana said sincerely and placed a hand on his arm.

“It’s all right, Diana,” he said quietly with a sad smile. “I’ve done some soul searching and I know now that you were right. We were not meant to be together.”

Diana was both relieved and thankful that he had come to that conclusion.

“Why don’t you sit down and I’ll get you a glass of wine?”

Richard shook his head. “No, I can’t. I still have to pack.”

“When are you leaving?”

“In two days.”

“Sit,” Diana insisted. “I’ll go get us that wine.”

Richard frowned but allowed Diana to take his arm and lead him to her sofa. She then went into her kitchen, took out wine glasses, and poured red wine into them, all the while feeling vaguely distressed that Richard felt compelled to leave Vegas because of her.

“How are things going between you and...him?” Richard asked as Diana sat down next to him on the sofa.

“You mean Jake?” she asked, handing him his glass of wine.

Richard nodded uneasily.

“Well, things aren’t going so good at the moment,” Diana said grimly, gulping down a large portion of her wine.

“Sorry to hear that.”

Diana smiled and shook her head. “No, you aren’t.”

They stared at each other for a moment before they both began to laugh. It felt good to laugh since all Diana had been doing since she left Jake in the meadow was cry.

“It really is good to see you again, Richard. I’m sorry that I didn’t keep in touch.”

Richard released a deep breath and stared down into his wine glass.

“I didn’t expect you to.” He held out his glass to her in a toast and said, “Here’s to new beginnings.”

Diana smiled and tapped her glass to his.

“And to bright futures ahead,” she said, sincerely. She hoped that they both find true happiness.

“I’ll miss you, Diana. I hope you and Jake patch things up.”

Diana was touched by his kind words and reached over to give him a soft kiss on his cheek.

“You’re a good man, Richard. I know you’ll be happy in Portland and you’ll find a special woman out there.”

Richard sighed and smiled sadly.