“I’m sorry, Emma.”
He held her teary gaze for a long moment and she could see
he’d made up his mind. He was going to throw them away, deny the love they felt
for each other and continue on with his life as if they meant nothing to each
other.
“Don’t do this,” she whispered passionately, trying not to
sound desperate. “Don’t throw us away. We can continue on the way we are, no-strings
attached. We can be friends…” Tears swelled in her eyes, and she hated herself
for hearing the desperation in her tone.
A snort escaped him. “Friends? Never, lady, not with you.”
The back of his hand brushed lovingly over her wet cheek;
his eyes held a look of deep regret in them.
“You deserve better. I want to fuck you right now.” His cock
twitched as if to back up his statement. “And I love you. But I won’t continue
to use you knowing it’s not going anywhere. No matter how bad I want you.”
“Don’t you think you’re a little too late?” Emma’s voice was
low with weepy emotion. “I hate you for this.”
“God…I never meant to hurt you,” he said hoarsely before
rolling away. He got to his feet and headed toward the bathroom without looking
back. The sharp click of the closing door sounded overloud and final to her
ears.
A torrent of emotion exploded from Emma at that moment and
she buried her face into the pillow to disguise her sobs, knowing what true
heartbreak was.
Chapter 22
For the hundredth time in four weeks Mike berated himself
for being the world’s biggest fool. He’d given up the best thing to happen to
him since Melissa’s birth. He’d treated Emma callously, using her and
discarding her as if she didn’t matter. The truth was she mattered too damn
much. Moreover, he couldn’t begin to figure out how to undo the damage.
It didn’t help that he hadn’t seen her since that morning.
The morning he’d broken her heart and driven her home, leaving her with a halfhearted
promise to call her when he worked things out in his head. It hadn’t made him
feel any better when he’d glanced into her beautiful eyes before leaving her to
see her quiet acceptance that she knew he wouldn’t call.
God, walking away from her was the worst mistake of his
life. He was miserable. He dreamed about her every night, waking in the middle
of the night wanting her so badly he thought it was going to send him to the
nuthouse. Likewise, his daydreams weren’t any better. He’d completely lost his
focus at work.
On top of everything else, Melissa was barely talking to him
and only then when she needed to, confused over the complexity of adult relationships
and reasoning. He couldn’t blame her. Hell, his explanation for excluding Emma
from their lives didn’t make sense to him. And Melissa wasn’t stupid. Once
again she’d been hurt, only this time by him.
Then there was Amanda. Every time he ran into her, she was
slightly aloof, as if not sure what to say or how to act around him, though
that could be his own guilt making him think that way. He doubted Emma had badmouthed
him; she had too much class for that. Yet she had to have told her sister
something. He expelled a long breath, reaching for the bottle at his feet. It
was funny how he and Emma weren’t running into each other at every turn
anymore.
He took a swig of his warm beer, staring out into the
darkness beyond his porch. Thanksgiving had come and gone and Christmas was
fast approaching. He wondered how many lumps of coal would be in his stocking
this year.
“Dad?”
He turned at the sound of Melissa’s voice. He’d left the
lights off but he could see enough to make out the flickering gleam in her
eyes. “Yes?”
“I was just wondering, you never gave me an answer about the
Christmas party.”
Mike hadn’t answered her on purpose. He wasn’t in a very
festive mood and the last thing he felt like doing was attending the annual
Christmas party at the high school. The basketball court was the only place in
town big enough to accommodate a few hundred people inside.
“Dad?”
Her hesitant low tone pulled him back to the present. It
wouldn’t be fair keeping Melissa home when they went every year. Before long
she’d be going places without him. Until then Mike wanted to do as many
father/daughter things with her as possible. “We go every year, don’t we,
kiddo?”
“Oh, thank you!” She pushed the screen door open enough to
slip through. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want to go. I know you’re still missing
Emma.”
What?
Mike didn’t get a chance to question her on how
she got to be so smart. The next thing he knew she was throwing her arms around
his neck and giving him a tight squeeze. The kind of hug she used to give him,
until she’d informed him one night before bed that she was too old for that
sort of thing anymore. When she released him, he pulled back, trying to gauge
her unusual response, but it was too dark to see her expression clearly.
Was she just a little bit too overzealous? He frowned with
suspicion, then realized what he was doing and shook his head. He had to stop
analyzing everything. Why wouldn’t she be happy about attending the biggest
holiday event of the year?
“See you in the morning.”
She was gone before he could get over his surprise of her
unexpected hug.
He listened to her stomping up the stairs as he took another
swig of his beer. He made a face when he remembered too late that it was warm
and flat. The slam of a door indicated Melissa had reached her room.
Just as he leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up
on the rail in front of him, a falling star caught his attention. He watched it
streak across the sky for several seconds before having the presence of mind to
make a wish on it before it disappeared. It was foolish but at that moment Mike
wished the woman he loved was sitting there next to him. He pressed his lips
together, accepting the truth. There was no reason in the world why she
shouldn’t be. He knew he was going to do whatever it took to make it right
between him and Emma.
Even if it meant groveling was involved.
* * *
*
“That’s twice you’ve disappeared and I thought you skipped
out and went home,” Amanda complained, handing Emma a glass of red holiday
punch.
“No, that’s something you do, sister dear. And I told you, I
haven’t been feeling well,” Emma explained, searching the crowd over the rim of
her glass as she took a sip. “I don’t know why you insisted I come anyway. I
haven’t before.”
“It’s the holiday season for goodness sake, Mom. I thought
you needed cheering up. I know Mike hurt you…”
“Please, leave Mike out of this.” She turned before Amanda
saw the moisture filling her eyes. Lord, it even hurt to say his name. What had
she been thinking by coming to a Christmas party where he might very well show
up? Moreover, how would he act if he saw her? Could she take another rejection?
She already knew the answer to that; it would crush her.
“Here come Troy and Pete,” Amanda said, grabbing Emma by the
arm to get her attention again. “And be nice to him.”
“I’m always nice to Troy,” she said without hesitation.
“I’m talking about Pete,” Amanda corrected.
Emma shot her sister a frown, wondering why she’d say such a
thing. Why was Pete with Troy anyway and why was there a silly grin on his
face? As dawning gradually replaced her curiosity, she ground out beneath her
breath, “What have you done?”
Amanda’s tone said she didn’t know what she was talking
about. “Nothing, don’t be so suspicious. He’s just here enjoying the party like
everyone else in town.”
Without a date?
Emma didn’t believe her but she had
no choice but to stand there and wait for the two men to reach them. She took
another sip of her drink, pretending interest in the holiday decorations and
the huge Christmas tree in the center of the room. It was all very beautiful
but her heart just wasn’t in it. She hadn’t even decorated at home.
“Maybe eating something will help.” Amanda smiled at Troy as
he approached, love for him shining brightly in her eyes. “Did the doctor give
you anything?”
“Yes, he…” Pausing in mid-air, she looked past Troy and
Pete, her gaze landing on the one man she was hoping not to run into. He’d just
walked through the doorway with Melissa. Looking tall and handsome, as always,
with an expression on his face that said he didn’t want to be there anymore
than she did.
As he removed his coat, she tried to pull her gaze away
before he glanced up and noticed her watching. Yet she couldn’t tear her eyes
away from the man she loved. He finally glanced across the distance separating
them and froze, his eyes narrowing sharply. Emma caught her breath at the raw
look of hunger etched on his features.
“You two ladies look fantastic!”
She barely registered Troy’s compliment. She was forced to
break eye contact with Mike when Pete unknowingly stepped in front of her.
“You two boys don’t look half-bad yourselves.”
“Boys? Ouch!” Troy grabbed Amanda to him, giving her a
hearty kiss. “You’re standing beneath the mistletoe,” he explained as if
needing a reason to kiss her.
Emma automatically looked up, unable to help the smile
covering her face. The ceiling was covered with balloons of red and green. It
would be nearly impossible to miss standing beneath the mistletoe when someone
had gone to a lot of time and trouble securing sprigs of it to the trailing
ends of each balloon.
All at once she found herself in Pete’s arms. “What…” But
that’s as far as she got. Taken completely unaware, she found herself being
kissed and there was nothing she could do about it. It was brief and not
anywhere close to being the toe-curling kisses she experienced in Mike’s arms.
“The mistletoe,” Pete explained the second his mouth left
hers.
“Any excuse to kiss a pretty woman,” Troy joked, putting his
arm around Amanda’s waist and keeping her close to his side. “Don’t even think
about kissing my woman.”
“It’s a tradition,” Pete added in his defense.
Emma couldn’t resist returning his boyish smile. He was
harmless. When he stepped away, her gaze fell on Mike, who’d apparently
witnessed the whole exchange and looked anything but pleased. In fact, he
looked ready to kill someone.
Holding back an elated smile, she returned Melissa’s
enthusiastic wave. Almost immediately a group of her friends appeared and
dragged her off, leaving Mike standing there all alone. He acknowledged Emma with
the barest nod of his head.
“Come on, they’re playing our song. We’ll be right back.”
Amanda dragged Troy off to the dance floor, and suddenly
Emma found herself alone with Pete.
After a few moments of awkward silence, he said, “It’s a
shame to waste a good song. Would you like to dance?”
Before Emma had a chance to respond, a deep voice said from
behind her, “I’d love to…but not with you.”
She gasped, spinning around to find Mike had somehow moved
up behind her. His comment was directed to Pete, but it was her eyes he met,
her hands he took into his. It didn’t matter that they hadn’t so much as
exchanged a single word with each other, or that he took it for granted she’d
want to dance with him. As she was being guided onto the dance floor, she
tossed Pete an apologetic look, surprised to see a pleased smile on his face.
She didn’t have time to decipher what his expression meant because all at once
Mike turned, bringing her up against him.
Her heart slammed against her ribs at his closeness, her
breath catching at his intoxicating scent. She didn’t need to be coaxed to lay
her head upon his shoulder. In a matter of seconds Emma became drunk with him,
her body awakening to needs only he could satisfy. Neither spoke, content to
sway against each other to the slow beat of the music for the time being. Mike
wanted her; it was as clear as his pounding heartbeat against her.
After a few moments she couldn’t stand the silence any
longer. Trying to inject normalcy in her voice, she asked, “How have you been,
Detective?” It felt wonderful being in his arms again and she snuggled closer
against him, forgetting for a moment where they were. Forgetting he didn’t want
her in his life.
He didn’t seem to mind, in fact, his hands began to move
slowly, sensuously over Emma’s back, though remaining in the safe zones. He at
least had the presence of mind to remember they were in a crowded room.
However, she knew Mike, and his body was like a tightly coiled spring against
hers.
“Detective?”
Her tone reminded Mike he hadn’t answered her.
There was a slight pause before he responded in a tight
voice, “Fine, and you?”
“I’m…okay.” Was his nose nuzzling her hair? She smiled
against his shirt, until his warm breath tickled the lobe of her ear and Emma
realized he’d caressed it ever so gently with his lips. What did he think he
was doing? She shivered, hoping no one noticed.
“Good.”
“How’s Melissa?” They sounded like strangers trying to make
polite conversation. Neither was saying what they really wanted. Emma wanted to
tell Mike how much she loved him. How miserable she’d been the last few weeks
without him.
“She’s…”
He pulled back, gazing into her eyes until everything,
everyone around them became a silent blur. They stopped dancing, yet didn’t
separate.
“I’ve had enough of this small talk.”
He took her by the hand and turned, pulling her behind him.
Where they were going Emma didn’t know or care. She didn’t
question Mike, letting him pull her along as they headed toward a door that
exited the party. It wasn’t the outside door but one that led them to a semidark,
empty hallway that was lined with rows of lockers on both sides.
When the door closed behind them, he halted. He pulled her
into his arms for a long kiss, his actions a little rough, exposing his hunger.
His mouth moved over hers, coaxing hers open so he could slip his tongue
inside, and taste her willingness. Arching against him, Emma wound her arms
around his neck and clung to him like a drowning woman and he was the only one
who could save her.