Authors: Patricia Hagan
“You heard what that fancy doctor said, that he’s real sick, and you ought to send him to that hospital fo’ crazy people in Tuscaloosa.” Posie glared at her accusingly.
“Dr. Wermer is one of the best doctors in all the state, Posie. It’s true he suggested that I have him committed, but he also said that this might be temporary, because of what happened with Vanessa. I think all he needs is time. I can’t send him off to a place for crazy people when he’s just plain heartsick.”
Posie snorted. “Then you ain’t scairt o’ him, like the rest of us? You ain’t scairt he’ll hurt you? I reckon it just don’t bother you none a’tall that he don’t even know you no mo’, that he thinks you is yo’ dead momma?”
“Yes, it bothers me. More than you can know, Posie,” she said wearily. “But perhaps, with time, he’ll come out of it. Right now, I’m bone-tired and I’m going to bed. Would you ask Buford to see that my father is put to bed? We’ll call in all the household servants and talk about it in the morning. That’s all I know to do. Now good night.” And, with a swish of her skirts, she brushed by Posie and made her way out of the room and up the stairs.
Once inside her room, she flung herself across the bed, wanting to cry. But no tears would come. Too many had already been shed, and perhaps she had none left. So much had happened, and she did not know what to do. Alton kept sending messages, begging her to come to him, reminding her that time was short. She wanted to escape the misery but could not will herself to leave her father.
The room grew dark, as silent as the rest of the house. She rolled over on her back to stare up into emptiness for a moment, then got up to grope about for her gown. The night was chilly, but rather than ring for Buford to make a fire, she decided to just snuggle beneath the covers.
Memories of the past settled upon her like a giant spider’s web. There had been happy times, despite her father’s dominant, iron will. But through it all, there had been his ever-present pain over the loss of her mother…his resentment of Vanessa…Vanessa’s hatred for her…so much pain. Escape would be paradise. But she owed her father her devotion.
Slowly, sleep took over and she felt herself slipping gratefully away. Tomorrow she would plan the journey to Birmingham. She would talk at length with Dr. Wermer. And she would meet with Alton, ask for his patience. She would do all that tomorrow.
She felt hot, moist lips on her face. She stirred, moaned, struggled to awaken. Groping hands sought and found her breasts, squeezing possessively.
“Lorena, my beloved.”
April awoke, the scream of terror locked in her throat. She struggled to breathe beneath the bulk of the figure pressing down on her. His mouth covered hers. Seeking, probing fingers were everywhere at once, ripping the sheer gown.
With great effort, she was able to twist her face to one side, away from his hungry mouth, and the scream fought its way past her constricting throat. “Poppa, no…no…it’s me, April! You don’t know what you’re doing. Please, no…”
“I’m going to love you.” He threw one leg over her, pulling himself up so that he straddled her struggling body. With one hand, he jerked her arms upward, pinning them above her head so that she was powerless beneath him. Twisting and writhing, she begged him to come to his senses.
“My wife,” he grunted. “My wife, my love, mine…”
He held her tightly, and for one fragile moment, she felt that she was lost. There was nothing she could do. But this could not happen. She would not let it happen. In that one fleeting moment he loosened his hold on her wrists just long enough for her to bring her hands, wrapped together in a giant fist, slamming downward across the bridge of his nose. With a cry of pain he grabbed his nose, his head jerking backward. Her knees came up into his crotch and he rolled to one side.
She scrambled from the bed, found the door, and reached up with trembling fingers to grasp the knob. Then the door was opening, and she plunged into the hall and ran as hard as her trembling legs would carry her. Posie would not have heard her screams. Posie slept in the servants’ quarters, away from the great house. She would hear nothing. Oh, God, why hadn’t she begged her to sleep inside?
Stumbling along, she found the hallway leading to the kitchen. Forgetting her nakedness, she opened the back door and was about to leap into the night when a frightened voice called out behind her, making her scream in surprise.
“Miss April? Lordy, what’s goin’ on?”
April pressed her back against the door, struggling to breathe. A match was struck, a lantern lit, and she saw Mandy staring at her, mouth gaping. “Why, Miss April, somethin’ terrible’s happened. I knows it.” She was moving toward her, holding the lantern above her hand. “I’s glad Posie said I had to sleep in the pantry tonight. She was afraid somethin’ would happen. Oh, Lordy, Miss April, you want me to have somebody fetch a doctor? Did yo’ daddy
rape
you?”
April shook her head slowly from side to side. She hated, even in her shocked state, to have anyone know what had almost happened.
“Mandy, you listen to me,” she said when she could find her voice. “You are not to say anything about this to anyone. My father did not rape me. He isn’t himself. He…he’s sick.”
“Lord, I knows he’s sick,” she cried, bobbing her bead up and down. “So does ever’body else. That’s how come nobody wants to go near him. Lord, look what that man done to you.”
“He did not
do
anything!” April realized she was screaming and checked herself. In a low whisper, she attempted to explain. “I told you, Mandy. He’s a sick man. He did not
do
what he tried to do. I doubt he even knows he tried. But I don’t want you to repeat this to a soul, do you understand me?”
Mandy’s feeble, hesitant “Yes’m” was barely audible as April made her way to a chair beside the long wooden kitchen table and sat down. She gratefully accepted the blanket the young girl draped over her shoulders.
“What you gonna do now, Miss April?” Mandy asked once she had sat down opposite her and placed the lantern on the table between them. “What you gonna do about yo’ daddy now?”
April sucked in her breath, held it, then let it out in one long rush as her body trembled convulsively. “I don’t know. Oh, God, Mandy, I just don’t know.”
Several moments passed in which neither spoke, then Mandy said, “You just sit right here, and I’ll fetch Buford to see to the mastah. He’s gonna have to know somethin’s goin’ on, ’cause we can’t just not do nothin’.” April nodded in reluctant agreement, and Mandy hurried out of the house.
Buford was silent as he returned a short while later, merely glancing sympathetically in April’s direction. Mandy sat down again opposite her. “You want me to get you some clothes?” she asked gently.
“Let Buford get my father back to his own room first,” she said quietly. Then, slowly, she lifted her gaze for the first time to stare at the young Negro girl.
“I want you to get a message to Alton for me, Mandy. At break of day.”
“Oh, Lordy, Miss April, you ain’t gonna tell Mastah Moseley about this, is you? He gonna kill yo’ daddy, even if he is plumb loco.”
“No, I’m not going to tell Alton, and neither are you.” April was surprised at her sudden calm, her sudden decision. It was as though the sun had come out after a storm. “I want you to tell him I will meet him. At midnight tomorrow.”
“At the stables?” Mandy’s eyes were shining. “You gonna meet him at the stable and run off with him and marry him, ain’t you? That’s what you wants me to tell him?”
“Tell him only that I will meet him. But not at the stable. That’s too close to the house. Do you know the boat landing? Down by the river?”
Mandy nodded, shaking with excitement over being included in such important, secret plans.
“I will meet him there.”
“You goin’ to run off with him?”
April reached across the table and touched the girl’s hand. “I must be able to trust you, Mandy. You must give me your word that I can trust you.” Her eyes were pleading, searching for the truth she wished to see in the girl’s face.
“Yes’m. Oh, Lordy, yes’m. You can trust me.”
“All right. Yes, I am going to go away with Alton, and I’m going to marry him. It’s the only way. I can’t stay here now. Poppa would destroy himself if he ever knew what he’s been doing. Plans must be made, and they must be made quickly.”
“You want me to go to Mastah Moseley. Is there anything else?”
“You can help me pack what few things I intend to take with me. Then, after I’m gone, I want you to send word to Poppa’s brother in Mississippi—James Jennings—and ask him to come here and look after things. He will be able to keep Poppa from losing Pinehurst. I’ll also leave it up to my Uncle James to decide whether or not Poppa should be sent to that hospital. But for now, I just have to get away, or I’m going to lose
my
mind.”
She laid her head down on the table, willing the tears to come. She could think of only one thing to do—escape. She hated giving Mandy so much responsibility, but she was afraid to trust Posie. Posie, she knew, was ready to run away herself. Mandy was young enough to be enthralled by all the excitement. Posie was older, and not so resilient.
“James Jennings,” she reminded her. “I’ll write everything down. He may not even come. I don’t know. They were never close. I only remember seeing him once, and that’s when my grandmother died, when Vanessa and I were ten years old. He came to the funeral. I haven’t seen him before or since.
“Something happened between him and Poppa, something I never knew about. I think it had to do with Poppa being heir to Pinehurst. I once heard that Uncle James was disinherited by my grandfather for marrying a girl who was not pure white. I don’t know. I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this, Mandy, except that there’s no one else.” She shook her head from side to side, shoulders slumped in defeat.
“I’ll take care o’ things. Don’t fret.”
Buford stepped into the doorway, looking shaken. “I got him back to his room,” he said in a sad little voice. “He didn’t even know where he was, missy. He looked like a dead man walkin’ around, just shufflin’ along and mumbling to hisself, wonderin’ how come Miss Lorena wouldn’t let him…” His voice trailed off and he looked away, embarrassed.
“I know,” April whispered, squeezing her hands together as she held the blanket tightly about her. Hesitantly, she asked, “Do you think he needs to be restrained?”
“I can lock the door to his room from the outside, but you knows yo’ daddy, honey, and if’n he takes a notion to come outta there, ain’t no lock gonna hold him.”
She nodded. “Will you just stand by today? In the hall? You will have to pick someone you trust to be on guard tonight.”
“Yes’m.” She had to strain to hear him. He was deeply upset over his master’s condition. She told him to return to the room for the rest of the night, and he left.
“Are you afraid to ride to Master Moseley’s, Mandy?” She turned to the girl “At first light of day?”
“Oh, no’m.” Mandy was almost smiling in her enjoyment of all the excitement. “I’ll be all set and ready to go. Then I’ll come back here and help you pack. You wants me to stay in yo’room the rest of the night?”
“No, I’ll be all right. Buford will be with Poppa. I want you to go on back to bed now. That’s what I’m going to do.”
Once in her room, she stood for a long, long time staring out the window that overlooked the rolling lawns of Pinehurst. Would she ever see her home again? She did not know. Perhaps one day her father would be well. But that might not happen, and she had to face the fact that she might never be coming home again.
Suddenly, her hand felt heavy. She glanced down to see the diamond and ruby and emerald Pinehurst ring her father had so proudly given her months ago. She could not take it with her, not when, by running away, she was denying her heritage.
The eastern sky was streaked with gold and pink rivers as the sun struggled to rise. Somewhere a bird sang his song of joy. A rooster crowed. It was a new day, a new beginning…and, she realized painfully, an ending as well.
The ring must be hidden before she did anything else. But not in the house. What if the Yankees did make their way South and into Montgomery? She could not take a chance. It would have to be hidden outside the mansion, in case of looting.
April hurried to dress in the early morning chill, selecting a warm blue muslin and a thick cape. Then she quietly tiptoed out of her room and into the darkened hall.
She jumped, startled, as Buford stepped out of the shadows. “Oh, dear God, you scared me,” she cried, hands clutching her throat.
“I’m sorry, missy,” he said quickly, careful to keep his voice low. “I just been standin’ out here, listenin’ out fo’ yo’ poppa. He’s sleepin’ good now, and I don’t want nothin’ to wake him up.”
April tensed. “Buford, what do you think happened?” She had hoped the servants would not speculate but knew that was impossible.
Buford glanced away uncomfortably. “Well, it don’t take much figurin’, missy. It ain’t none o’ my business, and. I ain’t gonna say nothin’ if’n you don’t want me to.”
“Of course I don’t want you to say anything.” She spoke more sharply than she had intended. “Poppa is sick. I don’t want anyone gossiping or blaming him for things he cannot help. You just stay here in case he needs you. Right now, there’s something I must do.”