Past Forward- A Serial Novel: Episode 11 (21 page)

“
What table?
”

Willow explained where the table was and what it looked like.
By the time Chad returned with it, the mattress was pumped and ready to make up for Ellie
’
s arrival.
“
I think I want some bricks and those two old doors mother has out in the barn
.”

“
Why?
”

“
How can Ellie possibly make the bed properly with it sitting smack
dab
on the floor?
Besides, it
’
s too cold down here.
I should have bought a bed for her
.”

“Smack dab?”
Chad shook his head as he left the room to retrieve the dollhouse.
Only Willow would think of buying a bed for a two-week guest stay.

He found her in the guest room deflating the mattress and talking to his mother.
“
What?
”
he mouthed as she waved her hand at him
,
silencing his questions.

“
Thanks
,
Marianne.
I knew you
’
d remember which one I meant.
Just let me know when you find it
,
and I
’
ll send Chad
.”

Nothing they
’
d said or done until this point felt more
‘
married
’
than hearing his fiancée making plans for him
—without consulting him
.
Though slightly annoying, it
also amused him
.
“
Do I get a say in this?
”

“
Nope.
Bringing them out here was your idea
;
now
you can go get her a decent bed…
when your mother finds it
.”

“
What if I had to work?
”

“
But you don
’
t.
Not until ten tonight.
You told me that
last night
when I
tried to make you go home early, using
your need for sleep as an excuse.
Remember?
”

Chad threw up his hands.
“
Uncle!
I
’
ll go. Actually, I
’
ll go now so that I can get back as quickly as possible
.”
Just outside the door, he turned back and said,
“
I like what you
’
ve done in here
,
by the way.
It always seemed like the poor relation.
Sent to the back of the house and forgotten
.”

“
I
’
ll work on your room once the children are gone,
”
she promised.

“
My room?
”
He hadn
’
t imagined her changing anything in her mother
’
s room.
“
Why?
”

“
Well, I assumed you
’
d rather have something that suits you
rather
than my mother
.”

Willow tried to hide the pain her words caused her
,
but her slightly pursed lips and the way she refused to meet his eyes told him more than she
’
d intended to share.
Chad started to reassure her that he liked the room exactly the way it was
,
but
she
pushed past him and
strolled
down the hall.
“
If you
’
ll just take a look and see what color you
’
d prefer
—”

“
I
’
d rather,
”
he said as he followed,
resting his hands on her shoulders.
“
Leave it just as it is.
It
’
s cheerful, not prissy, and
—”
he added quietly into her ear.
“
I
’
m not ready to see your mother
’
s room dismantled that way.
If I
’
m not
—”

Willow whirled and buried her face in Chad
’
s chest
,
weeping.
“
Shh
—
I thought you
’
d been handling things a little too well lately,
”
Chad said
,
as he smoothed her hair and held her.
The tears eventually soaked his shirtfront
,
but she couldn
’
t seem to
control
her emotions
.
“
Hey, when was the last time you broke some dishes?
”

A faint giggle escaped from the folds of his sweatshirt breaking up the sobs and sniffles for a moment.
“
Too long
,
I guess,
”
she confessed.

“
Well why haven
’
t you?
”

“It felt—”
she confessed
,
trying to find the right words.
“
Felt like I should be strong enough now to admit my loss and move on.
I can
’
t fall apart forever.
Mother would be horribly ashamed of the way I
—”
Willow stopped mid-sentence.
He suspected that she didn’t know he knew of the late night sob fests and the nightmares, and Chad wasn’t going to enlighten her—not yet.

“
Well, I think we all handle grief differently
,
and if crying or breaking dishes helps, I
’
ll go buy you some more dishes and invest in Kleenex
.”

“
Kleenex?
”

“
The boxes of tissue that
M
om has all over her house and eventually will be all over this one?
” She started to protest, but he shook his head.
“
I
’
m sorry
,
Willow
,
but I
’
m not giving up Kleenex.
You can keep the lights off, burn the wood, we
’
ll forget TV and the
I
nternet for all I care, but I
’
m not giving up real toilet paper
—”

“
I use toilet paper!
Sometimes I even blow my nose with it!
”
she protested hotly.

“
And I
’
m not giving up my lotion-infused, super soft Kleenex.
Period
.”

Willow,
after
realizing that she was still curled against Chad
’
s chest and feeling a little self-conscious about it, tried to pull away and send him to Rockland
,
but Chad held fast.
“
Huh uh.
Not until I know you
’
re ok and until you promise to smash a few more dishes
.”

How long they stood there, neither
of them
knew.
Chad smoothed her hair, wiped her tears, and prayed silently for comfort and healing.
Eventually, Willow
’
s voice, smaller than he
’
d ever heard it, asked,
“
Chad, do you ever pray for me?
”

“
More than anyone or anything else
,
”
he reassured
her
.
“
I
n fact, I was just now
.”

“
Would you
—”
The strangled tone of her voice nearly killed him, but he waited for her to finish
.
“
Would you maybe, someday, pray
with
me?
”

“
Aww
,
Willow, I
’
d have done it anytime.
I just n
ever knew how you felt about it.” He held her tighter.
“
It has been a long time, hasn
’
t it?
”

Fresh tears spilled from her eyes
,
and her hands dug for a handkerchief.
“
See, these
are
better than your old Kleenex
.”